by L.H. Cosway
He arched an eyebrow, his look playful. “You? Get carried away? I don’t believe it. You’re far too sensible.”
“Hey! I’m not that sensible. I can be wild when the mood takes me,” I protested, poking him in the arm.
“Oh yeah, like how?”
I flushed, unable to come up with an example when he put me on the spot, and also when he was sitting so close. I could smell his piney scent and it scrambled my brain. James always smelled like a Christmas tree, fresh and earthy, and I often wondered if it was cologne, body wash, or just something that was uniquely him.
“You okay, M?” he asked, his voice gentle now. He was clearly wondering why I was so tongue-tied.
“I’m fine.”
“You went quiet there for a minute.”
“Yeah, sorry, I got distracted.”
“Oh?” His tone was curious, which made me feel like I had to explain what distracted me.
Somehow, Louis popped into my head. “I met this guy at Sarita’s gig last week,” I blurted. “We’ve been texting a little bit.” Truth be told, even though we’d been texting, I hadn’t been thinking much about Louis at all, but mentioning him felt like a good way to deflect from how James’ closeness made me come over all peculiar.
He stared at me for a beat before bringing his attention back to the road. “That’s good. Do you like him?”
I nodded. “His name is Louis and he’s really nice. He studied history too, so we have lots to talk about.”
“It’s always good when you have things in common,” James agreed, but he sounded a little off. His words didn’t hold the usual warmth. We were quiet for the rest of the drive. When we arrived at the house, I took a moment to admire the outside, the pretty red brick and Edwardian-style windows. It also featured an arched doorway and peaked roof.
The inside, unfortunately, wasn’t so pleasing to look at. It seemed like pretty much everything was unfinished, the kitchen and living room both in disarray. Upstairs, only one bedroom was complete while the other two still needed floors and a paint job. The bedroom that was finished had a futon that was all made up, and a small side table with a lamp and what appeared to be a scented candle. I guessed this was where I’d be sleeping. Did James add those little homey touches just for me? I chased away the thought, and the flush it brought on. He’d said this room was finished, so he obviously meant it was furnished, too. Well, except the futon was clearly temporary…
James stood the in doorway, both hands braced at the back of his head while I looked around. “I hope this is okay.”
“It’s great. Somewhere to sleep is literally all I need, so this is perfect.”
James gave a little smile, and it looked like he was going to say something before he thought better of it, which made me even more curious.
“What?”
He pursed his lips, looking away a second before returning his attention to me. “It’s nothing. I was just worried you wouldn’t want to sleep on the futon. Diana would’ve thrown a fit, but I keep forgetting how opposite you are.” He gave a soft laugh.
Something in my chest burned, probably at the idea of being the opposite of the sort of woman James would choose to marry. Then, I thought of Diana throwing a fit over something as inconsequential as sleeping on a futon and almost felt sorry for him. I wondered if maybe James was a little too nice and accommodating for his own good.
Now he frowned. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, not at all,” I answered, wishing I could ask him if Diana did stuff like that a lot, stomped her foot when things didn’t go her way, but that would’ve been far too invasive. Instead I plastered on a bright smile. “Maybe I should be more like Diana. Have higher standards and all that.”
“No way. You’re exactly as you should be. Don’t ever change, M.”
The look he gave me made my insides go haywire. We stared at one another for a long moment before James glanced away again, clearing his throat.
“So, um, the shower and toilet in the main bathroom work fine, but the tiling still needs to be done. Oh, and warn the workmen not to use the downstairs bathroom. It’s not flushing properly, so I need to get a plumber in to take a look at it.”
I pulled out my phone and navigated to my notes app. “I can find a plumber if you like.”
James eyed me. “You sure?”
“Of course, it’s what I’m here for. In fact, why don’t you tell me a list of all the stuff that needs doing and I’ll start working my way through it.”
Something about my suggestion made James emit a sigh of pure relief. “I could kiss you right now.”
My stomach clenched. “Well, don’t do that. We don’t want you going and falling in love with me.” I meant it as a joke, since he’d teased me in a similar way during our time in Johannesburg over the summer, but when I saw his surprised expression I started to regret saying it.
James didn’t respond, instead clearing his throat and launching into a list of all the things that needed to be done. Ugh, how awkward. Once he was finished showing me around, I followed him to the door.
“You have no idea how big a help it will be having you here. I’ve felt like I’ve been torn in a million different directions these past few months, trying to find the time to focus on everything.”
“Well, I’m happy to be able to help,” I said as we reached the door. It felt odd that James was leaving and I was staying, when it should be the opposite way around. It was going to take a while for me to get settled.
“If you need me, I’m just a call away,” he went on, eyeing me like I was a skittish cat who might try to flee at any second.
“I won’t need you. Now go live your life before I kick you out of here.”
He chuckled then headed out, shooting me one last grateful look before finally getting into his car. I closed the door and turned around, letting myself enjoy the quiet for a few moments before getting to work. I pulled up the list I’d just made and started to make some phone calls.
Seven
Michaela
I stared up at my work of art and smiled. In my bedroom in James’ house, I’d created a colour-coded chart of all the contractors, costs, important times, dates, and corresponding work they needed to complete. I was really quite proud of all I’d managed to achieve in the space of a few days.
My phone buzzed with a message, distracting me from my masterpiece.
Afric: Your brother just stopped by the flat looking for you. I told him you were working, so he left.
As soon as I read the text, my blood ran cold, but I was also relieved I’d managed to avoid him. Bennet was one of the main reasons why I’d wanted to move away to London and live with my friends. I just felt so much better when he wasn’t around. And I was glad that he probably wouldn’t have time to try and seek me out again during his few days in the city.
Bullet = dodged.
I opened the camera app, held up my phone to take a picture of the chart and sent it to James. Then I sent it to Neil, merely because he was the only other person I knew who’d appreciate such painstaking organisation skills.
He replied immediately.
Neil: Nooice!
A few minutes later, a message came in from James.
James: You’re an angel sent from heaven.
I was smiling against my will as I typed a reply.
Michaela: I try.
A few minutes passed before he sent another message.
James: Some bloke just came into the gym looking for you. He says he’s your brother?
Oh, for crying out loud. Just like that, I was plunged straight back into panic mode. Bennet must’ve called our dad to get the address for the gym.
Michaela: Can you tell him I’m busy and won’t be around today?
James: I already did, but he insisted on waiting. He’s sitting out in reception.
Why did he have to be so bloody stubborn? Just leave me alone for goodness sake. God forbid he leave London without getting to stick a few barbs
in me first.
Michaela: I’ll be right there.
As quick as I could, I pulled on some shoes, grabbed my handbag, and headed out. When I reached the gym, Bennet was sitting in the reception area, a laptop open as he worked. He was a financial advisor and always wore a suit, which somehow made him even more intimidating. His head came up as I entered, eyes narrowing on me while I approached.
“You’re a hard woman to find,” he said, shutting his laptop and standing.
“I work on weekdays,” I said, feeling like there was a brick in my stomach. He always made me feel this way. He had the ability to drain my confidence, making me feel like a helpless little girl again.
“Well, since your work is so important, do you think you can spare me a few minutes for a coffee at least?”
“Sure,” I said, motioning to the exit. “There’s a café down the street.”
Bennet looked over my shoulder. “Isn’t there coffee facilities inside?”
I swallowed. “Well, yes, but…”
“Then come on, show me around your place of work.”
It was the last thing I wanted to do, but Bennet had that determined look in his eye. I knew there was no point fighting. I led him inside and I could see him taking everything in. Since it was kitted out to cater to free runners, it didn’t look like your typical run-of-the-mill gym. Instead it had climbing walls, swinging ropes, and sections of cushioned flooring, as well as all the usual weights and cardio machines. Neil and I were allowed to use the equipment, too, but I tended to favour the treadmill over the less conventional workout options. Don’t get me wrong, I respected the hell out of my bosses for what they did, but personally, I had zero aspirations to try my hand at parkour.
It appeared almost the entire cast was in today; James and Trevor were over by the weights, while Paul and Isaac were on the climbing wall.
I made eye contact with James as I led Bennet into the small break room. I gave him a little wave to let him know everything was all right, and he nodded before turning his attention back to Trevor. I went to grab two mugs while Bennet took a seat at one of the tables. I already knew how he liked his coffee (black, no sugar).
“Mum and Dad have been worried about you. They nagged me into coming to check how you are and then you go out of your way to avoid me,” Bennet complained while I made his coffee.
“I haven’t gone out of my way. I was working. If you’d bothered to call ahead—”
“Dad said he told you I was coming.”
“Right, but I can’t be home all day long waiting around for you to show up,” I countered.
His eyes narrowed. “I think sometimes you forget how lucky you are to be able to move to London and live with those friends of yours. You wouldn’t have this opportunity if it weren’t for our parents, nor would you have gone to university to study a subject that has no real-world value. Oh, and speaking of your friends, they don’t strike me as very respectable.”
I blinked, trying to process the bombardment he’d just spewed. “You don’t even know my friends.” I set the cup down in front of him a little too harshly before taking a seat. What I really wanted to do was pour the hot coffee all over his head. Too extreme? Not at all. When I mentioned knowing how it felt to be manipulated by someone close to me, I’d been talking about Bennet.
My brother scoffed. “The one who answered the door had blue hair, and the other one arrived home hand in hand with another woman.”
Now I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “Wow, hand holding in public. What will the neighbours say?”
Frown lines deepened between his eyebrows. “It wasn’t the hand holding that was the problem.”
I stared at him now. I wished I could say Bennet never struck me as a homophobe, but unfortunately, that would be a lie. “Say another word about my friends and I’ll have one of my bosses escort you from the premises.”
Bennet rolled his eyes, bringing the coffee cup to his mouth. “Big talk from the little orphan.”
He often liked to taunt me with the ‘O’ word, despite the fact that I had two parents who loved me. They just didn’t happen to be blood related. Both of my biological parents died when I was still an infant, so my adoptive parents were all I had.
“I don’t see any orphans here,” I countered, doing my best not to let him hear the emotion in my voice. He could always cut me to the quick with his cruel words.
I wished I had the strength to stand my ground, tell him to get the fuck out of my sight and that I never wanted to see him again. Sadly, my family was a package deal. I couldn’t see my parents on holidays and special occasions without Bennet being there, so I held my tongue. I’d eat his shit so long as I got to keep my parents. My safety blanket, the only people in the world who loved me unconditionally.
Suddenly, Bennet stood, turning to look out at the gym through the glass wall. I thought about how if I just got through this, I wouldn’t have to see him again until Christmas.
Small blessings.
“You’d think with a gym this fancy they’d be able to pay you more,” he commented.
“They pay me fine,” I said, gritting my teeth.
“Not enough to be able to afford your own place.”
“What twenty-two-year-old can afford their own place?” I argued, not bringing up the fact that I was currently staying at James’. He’d surely find some way to pick apart the unconventional setup.
“I had my own flat at twenty-one.”
“Yes, well, I think you’ll find the cost of living is a lot higher in London.”
He turned to me now, eyeing me from head to toe, judgement oozing out of him. “Weak people love making excuses for themselves.”
I’m not weak! I wanted to shout, but again I held it in. Bennet would love it if I lost my cool, because then he could go back to our parents and tell them what a rude, ungrateful, horrible little person I was.
We stared each other down. I was so angry I felt like I might burst a blood vessel. Then there was a quick knock on the door, and James entered the room. Somehow, just seeing him calmed me down. I mustered a smile, hoping he didn’t pick up on the tense energy.
“Sorry to intrude. I just needed to grab my protein shake from the fridge,” he said.
“You’re not intruding at all,” I replied. “This is my brother Bennet. He’s in the city for a few days for work, so he thought he’d come pay me a visit.”
“We already met,” Bennet said.
“Oh, right, my mistake,” I replied, feeling flustered.
James studied me, clearly picking up on the weird vibes before bringing his attention to Bennet. “It’s good to meet Michaela’s family. She’s a real asset to us here.”
“I bet she is,” Bennet replied, looking from me to James.
Oh no, please don’t pick up on anything. If my brother found out I had a crush on my much older, very much engaged boss, he’d have a field day.
A moment of quiet fell and I swear I’d never been so tense in my life. Then Bennet glanced at his watch. “Well, I’d better get going. I wasted too much time looking for my sister today, so I’m behind on work.”
I didn’t miss the cutting barb. I walked him to the door, not out of politeness, more for my peace of mind so that I could make sure he was definitely gone. I watched him walk out onto the street, then emitted a long, relieved sigh when he disappeared around the corner. At least that was over and done with.
“Everything okay?” a curious voice asked. I turned around to find James was right behind me.
“Oh, everything’s fine,” I said. “It’s just, you know, families.”
James nodded, still eyeing me. “Your brother seems very…”
“Rude?” I finished, my tone joking despite the fact that it was definitely true. Bennet was a rude, mean, impatient arsehole who I wished I didn’t share a family with.
James laughed. “Wow, so you picked up on that, too?”
“Eighteen years in the same family, you tend to realise these t
hings.”
James frowned, obviously mentally calculating, before he remembered. “Right, you were adopted when you were little. I forgot you told me that.”
“Yes, that’s why Bennet and I don’t look alike.” Both of my brothers were pale, fair-haired and blue-eyed like my parents, while I was olive-skinned, with dark brown hair and eyes.
James’ phone chimed with a text and he pulled it from his pocket. He stared down at the screen, a dark cloud coming over him.
“Bad news?” I asked.
James exhaled heavily. “It’s my mum. I need to go see her. She’s been feeling under the weather.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. Nothing too serious, I hope?”
“We don’t know yet. My dad and sister have been trying to get her to go see a doctor, but she insists she’s fine. I think I might have to stage an intervention. Anyway, I’ll drop by the house later to see how everything’s going.”
“Sure, okay.”
James left and I watched him go. He had so much on his plate already, and now with his mum feeling ill, I worried he might drown under all the stress. More reason for me to do a good job organising everything at the house.
When I arrived back there, the plumber had just finished fixing the downstairs toilet. I was so happy to be able to let James know that one more thing was ticked off the to-do list. The feeling only lasted a moment though, because my emotional state was still affected by Bennet’s visit. I hated how one person clouded my entire state of mind like that. But then, at least he hadn’t picked up on my crush on James. My brother would revel in discovering that kind of information, and I’d rather die than give him a single bullet to store in his arsenal.
Eight
James
It was almost dark when I pulled up outside the house after visiting with Mum. Me, my dad, and my younger sister, Shanise, had finally convinced her to go see her GP in the morning. It was a relief because she’d been complaining of headaches but refused to believe it was anything serious. At least now, the doctor could examine her and determine the cause.
