by LJ Swallow
Logan doesn't flinch. "And so her true role begins, Xander. Look at what this is doing to us all."
Xander's grip tightens on Logan's shirt. "Yeah, Vee has her role and can help save your asses. Do you want that to stop?"
"Xander! For fuck's sake.” Heath steps forward and grabs his fist, untangling his fingers from Logan's shirt. "Don't jeopardise what's already a bloody shaky situation."
Xander pushes Heath aside as he releases Logan but remains in his face. "Vee helped save your queen's life. Why would she do that if she had any ill intent towards the fae? She's one of us. A part of us. We're stronger with her."
"Stronger? Ha! She weakens you all! Do you understand everything? Are you confident you're safe around Truth?"
"Shut the fuck up,” he snarls. "You don't know her."
"Joss! Get hold of him,” hisses Heath as Xander's face fills with a darkness we all recognise.
Joss steps forward and places a hand on Xander's shoulder. "Come on, man. This isn't helpful."
Xander doesn't respond, and the atmosphere in the room builds a wall dividing the two sides. If Xander breaks through with the fury I feel from him, this situation and their relationship with the fae descends further into mistrust.
"Xander. Back off," mutters Heath. "Please calm the fuck down."
I watch in horror, half wanting to run. "I'm done,” he shouts and turns to Portia. "I'm fucking done with this.”
The glowing energy and violet eyes I saw from Portia earlier grows as she looks back. The frustration between her and Xander from earlier in the evening morphs into a mutual disdain and edges towards battle.
"The fae who attempted to take Verity before we reached her? Was that orchestrated by you?" growls Xander.
"Insolent, stupid boy!" snaps Portia. "Are you implying that I consort with demons? That I am as willing to betray you, as you are us?"
"Betray you? What the fuck are you talking about?"
She steps forward, head to head with the furious Xander. "I brought you here tonight as a last attempt for you to be upfront with us. To see whether we could trust you. I asked you outright if you had any further information to share, and you lied. What else have you lied to us about? If you cannot tell us everything, then we want nothing from you."
"Are you fucking stupid?"
"Xander!" yells Heath. "Step down. Think about what you're doing."
He snaps his head around. "They're threatening Vee. Aren't you listening?"
Portia sneers. "No, we're not. But I refuse to deal with or trust you unless Verity is out of the picture. All this trouble began when she arrived. All this fantasy about her being your Fifth. You're blinded by her." She looks to the other guys. "We won't hurt her, and probably couldn't anyway, but Logan has confirmed what I sensed the day I first met her. She's too powerful. Vee will consume you, and then where will the world be?"
"Ewan." Xander's tone is short, a command that prompts Ewan's arm around my shoulders. "Leave with Vee."
I'm dazed as he guides me out of the room and to the front door. A bodyguard straightens, eyes darting between us and the lounge room where the argument continues.
"Excuse me," says Ewan with false politeness. "We need to leave."
I sense someone behind me. One of the other guys? The bodyguard nods as we open the door; presumably, his shouting queen proves we haven't killed or harmed her. Has he been chastised for interfering in her affairs in the past, rather than performing his strong and silent job?
Head swirling in confusion as we walk back into suburban reality, I follow Heath and Ewan back to the SUV.
What have I done?
6
HEATH
I stand in the doorway to the farmhouse, looking along the driveway and into the dark distance as I wait for Joss and Xander. The night's silent; the house's seclusion offering the protection and peace we need. Protection we need more than ever following the events over the last twenty-four hours, but that I'm unsure we have anymore.
The warmth from the house escapes as the cold breeze swirls in and around me and into the narrow hallway. My eyes are drawn outside, to the place the body lay on the ground this morning. I argued with Xander we should come clean with the queen about the death, but he refused. As always, the decisions he railroads us with caused issues. Why the secrecy when things are already shaky? And when will we learn not to let the warmonger make our decisions?
Footsteps across the slate floor are too heavy to be Vee's, and I look around to a troubled Ewan. "Are the guys back yet?" he asks.
"No. It's only been half an hour. I'm sure everything's okay. Neither side wants bloodshed."
"You hope," he mutters.
"Where's Vee?"
"She's in the lounge and very quiet."
"I'm not surprised. I think Xander should've kept his cool, but I was fucking angry myself over how they spoke about her."
"Yeah." Ewan rubs his face with both hands. "This is screwed."
I rest against the open door. Do I voice the words? "You don't doubt Vee now, do you?" I say in a low voice.
Ewan's brow tugs. "Now you're fucking annoying me. You believe the arsehole?"
"No. Logan has no understanding of anything happening between us, apart from what he lifted from Vee's head. He's no idea how closely we're connected and how Vee holds a part of each of us."
"Exactly." Ewan's firm voice tells me to shut up, but I can't.
"Do you think he's right and Vee could take all the power somehow?"
"What?" Ewan's voice rises. He glances in the lounge direction then back at me. "What the fuck are you talking about, Heath? She completes us. You've felt that. We all have."
I stare at my feet. Hell, so many awkward questions. "Ewan. Did you and Vee have sex last night?"
"No. Not exactly."
"Exactly?" I look up at him.
"Do you really want me to spell out everything we did?"
"I'd rather you didn't."
I'm not jealous. I would be if Vee indicated she wanted Ewan over me, that she'd tried me out and chosen someone else, but our situation doesn't fit inside the 'normal' box. Although I can't deny a small part of me likes that she didn't take the final step with Ewan.
"We both kissed her, and we're no weaker, right?" he says. "The fae was talking out of his backside. They're scared she's powerful, that's all."
"Yeah."
"Heath, don't let them place doubt in your mind and divide us."
"But why are they? It makes no sense."
"Because they're ungrateful, untrusting, and the world's changing. They want someone to blame this on, and that someone is Vee."
"You know what? I think Portia needs to look closer to home for the threat. I don't trust Logan."
Ewan sighs. "I can't think about anymore of this shit right now. Why the hell is everything falling apart and all at once? The fae and demons allying. Something stronger bringing chaos. It's a bloody good thing we have Vee now."
Vee. She must be out of her depth and drowning in fear over this. I incline my head and we both head to the lounge.
Vee sits with her back against the sofa arm, legs stretched across the cushions, and her shoes on the floor.
The exhaustion on Vee's face ages her, dark circles beneath her worried eyes. How can they say she's capable of taking the four of us down? Look at her. She has a human side and is still coming to terms with a lot of shit, without being accused of this.
"Budge up," I say and sit, taking her legs and lying them across my lap. I itch to run my hands along the smooth skin, the way I did in the kitchen the night between us, which seems far away now. Instead, I take hold of a foot and dig my thumbs into the arch.
"Thanks," she says with a smile.
Ewan stands close by and mock pouts at us. "Hey, where do I sit?"
Vee sits forward so Ewan can sit between the sofa arm and her. She shuffles against him, legs still outstretched across my lap. Ewan wraps an arm around her waist and she rests against his side.
>
"I'm very lucky," Vee says in a soft voice. "I've never had many close friends, and now I have four."
Friends. I shift to massaging Vee's ankle aching to take her stress away in other ways. I blink away images of sliding my hand up her leg, and instead meet her eyes. Friends with oh-so-many benefits. Vee sits forward and kisses me, a soft touch to my lips, before snuggling back against Ewan and wrapping his arm back around her. He tightens his arm around Vee's waist and rests his cheek on her hair. Our eyes meet briefly.
I'm damn sure Ewan's having the same thoughts I am.
Xander's urgent tones interrupt my dozing. Vee's legs remain in my lap, and my neck aches from sleeping on the sofa. I wriggle from under Vee and gently place her legs on the cushions in an attempt not to wake her. Ewan's eyes remain closed, and she's turned her body to one side, curled up with her head in his lap. I follow the sound of Xander's voice into the kitchen.
Xander drinks heavily from a bottle, then wipes his mouth and slams the beer on the table. Foam spurts across his hand, and he licks it away.
"Hasn't he calmed down yet?" I ask Joss. "Please tell me you diffused the situation between him and Portia."
"Xander told Portia the fae can, I quote, 'Go back to the frozen hell they left for all he cares.'"
Joss's words grip and adrenaline shoots into my veins. "He did what?"
Xander snorts. "As if they can do anything to us."
"Are you crazy?" I ask and raise my voice. "What the hell has got into you? You know fae dig around trying to find secrets; it's how they operate. We should've been upfront from the get go. I told you that. Now look at what's fucking happened!"
"I managed to calm the situation as much as I could. I told Portia we'd prove our loyalty," says Joss. "I think we can get her back on side."
Brotherly love and understanding leaves the kitchen, as quickly as he does hotel rooms after one of his hook-ups. I step forward and slam my hands into his chest. "You dumb fucker!"
Xander shoves me back again. "Get the fuck off me!"
"What the hell happened back there? You've fucked up everything and screwed us all over!" He might be War, but I'm bloody close to smacking his face, and it wouldn't be the first time.
"Are you forgetting who's our priority here?" he snaps. "Verity. Truth. The centre of everything in our world. They're demanding we ‘get rid of’ Vee. Didn't you hear?"
"I don't think they actually meant kill her, you dickhead."
"Yeah, but in a roundabout way they're accusing us of being stupid enough to let a demonic force overtake us. They're insane! She saved Portia's life!"
"I think Logan's motives are suspicious," says Joss. "He enjoyed watching what happened tonight. I think he's where we need to start looking for fae trouble."
"And how exactly? He's married to her chief advisor."
"Simple. Ewan researches him. He'll work somewhere, the fae aren't locked away from the world, are they?" Xander looks around. "Where’s Ewan? He's not screwing Vee again is he?"
"They're in there, asleep." I incline my head to the lounge.
"Tell him to wake up. This is important!"
"Xander, I think we all need to sleep on this." Joss steps between Xander and me, and places a hand on both of our arms. "We need to decide what to do to fix this situation."
"I'm not bowing to her!" complains Xander.
"This time, you have to, dickhead, because you need to fix this."
He blinks as he catches sight of something behind me. I look over my shoulder. Vee stands, arms wrapped around herself, pale faced and sleepy eyed. "What's happening?"
"Nothing," says Joss. "Just Xander's diplomacy going pear-shaped again, as you saw."
"Understatement of the fucking century," I mutter.
"Tell me," she says. "Is this bad? Is this my fault?"
A muscle in Xander's cheek twitches. If he blames Vee, then I guarantee I’ll smack him in the face. Instead he chews on the side of his lip and looks at the ceiling.
"I'm not stupid. I heard what Logan said too, and I saw the argument. What’s happening?" she asks.
"Go to bed, Vee," Xander says. "Tomorrow will be another long day. You need to rest." His gentler tone surprises me—as gentle as Xander gets when he's in this mood.
Vee leaves without a response, and I don't need to be Joss to sense her confusion. The new Vee would've challenged Xander, but I'm right. She's drowning.
I follow her into the hallway, and she pauses at the bottom of the stairs. "Vee."
"Do you believe Logan? Do you think I'm here to divide you—or worse destroy you?"
I expect tears, but Vee's eyes hold none. "No. I believe somebody is feeding Portia lies, and that we have Truth who will expose them all." I wrap my arms around Vee's waist and pull her closer. "I'm worried about you after tonight."
Vee looks up. There may not be tears, but she's troubled. "Things are tough, Heath.”
A vulnerable Vee drags at my heart and fuels both my need to keep her safe and desperation to make her happy.
"What can I do to help?" I cup her chin and Vee tiptoes and presses her mouth on mine.
"Will you sleep with me tonight?" she whispers against my lips.
Hell, yes. I squeeze her tighter to me. "If that's what you want."
7
HEATH
The door closes behind us with a soft click, and Vee sits on the edge of the bed. I fight asking why not Ewan, but his snoring on the sofa might answer why he can’t help.
"I'm bloody glad tonight's over with. I'd rather fight a horde of demons than sit through a dinner party like that again. I felt really out of place, and then—" Vee looks at her fingernails.
The mattress sinks as I sit beside her, distracted by and wanting to distract her too. "You looked beautiful tonight, Vee."
"Kiss me," she whispers, taking me by surprise again. "Let me forget tonight."
Cupping Vee’s chin with my fingers, I tip her face and place my lips on hers. My mind says ‘gentle’; but when Vee presses her mouth harder, I know I’m gone. My body wins, and I kiss her hard, parting Vee's lips with mine and pushing my tongue into her mouth. She tastes as fucking amazing as last time, and this time I promise myself I won't walk away with guilt and doubt. I know the score now; I know where we stand, and I'm happy to go along with whatever now I know I won't hurt Vee.
Vee makes a small noise as she welcomes my deeper kiss, and winds her fingers into my hair to pull my face closer. Her soft lips and her sweetness have a power over me as strongly as the unknown bond holding us in this life together.
We fall backwards onto the bed. This is the human Vee; the girl I met before we became something different. I've never wanted to consume someone as much as I do Vee, and the kiss overwhelms me. Kissing Vee reminds me I'm more than a force held inside a human body; this is warm, familiar, and the most natural feeling in the world.
I push apart her legs with my knees and lift myself frightened my weight will be too much. Her dress strap falls to one side and I fight the desire to nip at her collarbone; peppering kisses instead as my fingers brush her skin. Vee's scent intoxicates me further as I breathe her in and take myself away to the world she wants us in.
Earlier on the sofa, I fantasised about running my hands along her leg, upwards to explore her and feel that gorgeous ass beneath my palm; now this is reality. Vee’s dress rides up and her knees part. I settle between her legs, and she trembles as I slide my fingers along her thigh. Vee stops kissing and looks at me as she unbuttons my shirt. She smoothes her hands across my naked chest and pushes the shirt from my shoulders, eyes dark as she traces her fingers across my pecs and then one finger downwards towards my abs.
"This might sound strange, but with you I remember the old Vee. The one who sat in her cubicle at work and lusted over the guy with the cute ass." She kisses me softly again and leaves intoxication on my lips. "For a little while, can we be that Vee and Heath? Right now, I need to be her."
My heart hammers. I'm on the
brink of desire taking over, but I rein in my self-control. Are we both in denial? Wanting what we can never be? "Part of you will always be her."
"I thought things were difficult the last week or so, but the last twenty-four hours have been a nightmare, Heath," she whispers and touches my lips. "I've killed, lost control in many ways, and now somebody's told me I'm evil."
I catch her hand. "That's not what he said."
"I don't think I can cope with this." Her voice cracks and my heart shatters. "I want to be strong."
"You are, Vee. Hell, you're stronger than all of us."
She pulls her hand from mine and holds my face between her small palms. "Can I rewind for a few hours and fool myself nothing's changed? Can I pretend this is me and the guy I fantasised about while I sat in my cubicle at my boring job?"
Her eyes reflect the truth we both know. We would fool ourselves. Vee knows how I feel; how I crave a human side too and I'm the one who understands and shares this.
I don't have a chance to respond as her mouth meets mine again, insistent, yielding, and with a desperation to match mine. Words aren't needed as we communicate through each touch and taste. We lose sight of everything together, but there's no hiding the buzzing energy building between our mouths and skin, the explosion in my mind as we unite. I push her dress up and she arches towards me, breath coming in short bursts against my cheek as I switch to kissing her neck.
"But don't you dare push me away again, Heath," she murmurs, nails digging into my shoulders. "Don't do this and reject me."
"I never rejected you; I was confused. Now you're clear—we're all clear—I don't need to pretend."
"Pretend what?" Vee turns her head and our noses bump.
"Pretend you're not inside my head every minute of every day." I swallow. "Pretend that I don't crave you so fucking bad it consumes me."
Vee's chest heaves as she takes in my words, and she sits to unzip the dress, revealing a black lace bra. Her breasts swell against the material, and I'm gone. Lost. To everything but the building need to possess her, even if it's only for a short time.
