There was silence on the other end of the line, and Emma saw her opening.
“I know for a fact that you haven’t taken a break since I last did, right?”
“Yes, that’s right, but…”
“It will be hard, but worth it. Can you switch everything around and give yourself a breather? Tell my clients I’ll be giving them some pro-bono work for their trouble.”
“I can do that. Yes, ma’am. But…what will we do with a such a long vacation?”
“I think you should take yourself to a spa. On me.”
There was a gasp over the other end of the line and Emma waited for her secretary to argue her point, saying it was too much, or made her too uncomfortable to take that kind of privilege. Instead, there was nothing. Good, she was learning. There were some things that needed to change around the office when she got back with Sean and she was going to make sure they happened, including mandatory vacations for her employees. If Emma was working herself to death, there was no telling what she was doing to everyone else below her. Maybe they would all enjoy a free movie day once a month, too.
“Thank you, ma’am. That’s really kind of you.”
“I’m glad you like it. Set it up and send me the bill. Let me know once the decks are cleared and if you have any issues with any of the clients.”
They finished off the phone call and Emma hung up. If she was going to be unhappy working too much, unhappy without a child, and not spending her time building up a happiness barrier to live through all that unhappiness, what was the point of living the way she had been living? She was setting herself up for failure and running on empty. Sean seemed as married to her job as she was, so of course he would understand their needs to get away and breathe outside of their normal comfort zone. It was astounding to her that it had taken him to push her to that place where she realized the way she was living wasn’t how she wanted to keep going with the rest of her life.
Emma got out of bed and slipped on the button-up shirt Sean had been wearing the night before, walking barefoot into the airy, modern kitchen. She leaned against the counter, watching Sean fix a cup of coffee, his beautiful broad shoulders shifting through his light-blue cotton T-shirt. When he turned around, his face lit up with a giant smile.
“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” Emma idly picked up a piece of cut honeydew from a plate on the island. “I hope I didn’t make you wait too long.”
“No, you’re right on time. Help yourself.” He slid a cup of coffee over to her waiting hands. “Did I make it right?”
Emma grinned. “You know you did. But how did you remember?”
“It’s not too hard to remember black coffee, is it?” Sean leaned against the counter and took a sip from his mug. “How did your work take the news of your leave of absence?”
“My bosses practically cheered me on, said they were sick of seeing me haunting the place. My secretary was a little harder to convince, but I managed, and everyone is happy now.”
Emma grabbed a plate and heaped it full of fruit, a muffin, and a yogurt before taking her coffee mug and sitting at the edge of the island. She dug into her meal, watching Sean as he lingered over the five-star restaurant spread.
“Are you eating or are you just going to watch me?” Emma smiled and licked her lips, catching any blueberry muffin crumbs that had gotten out of the lines of her lips. “You might need your strength for later, you know.”
“Oh will I? That sounds promising.” He picked up a grape and popped it into his mouth. “But not before I get the everything together for our trip.”
“Wait, we’re leaving today? Can you catch a flight that easily? You’ll have to pay through the nose.” The words were out of her mouth before she realized how ridiculous it sounded, given who she was speaking to. “Let me guess, you’ve got a guy?”
“Something like that, yeah.” Sean took a long sip of his coffee. “I need to make a phone call, but feel free to help yourself to anything, this shouldn’t take long. Then we’ll be on our way to sun and fun.”
“You sound like a travel commercial, you know that?”
Sean shrugged one shoulder, picked his phone up off the counter, and went into the other room. Well, if he could make a phone call, now was the best time for her to do the exact same thing.
There was no way Allison or Makenzie would let her live it down if she didn’t fill them in on last night. So much had changed in twenty-four hours and she desperately needed to confide in them. Maybe they would be able to illuminate a few things that had been going around and around in her head—things she certainly couldn’t bring up with Sean. Not yet. Not now.
A quick group text to see if everyone could take the phone call and with her friends’ agreement, she set up the three-way call.
“We have to make this quick, I don’t know how long I have alone here while Sean—”
“Whoa, whoa. You’re with Sean? Your doctor, Sean? Sean from ten years ago, Sean?” Makenzie nearly shrieked into the phone, and Emma was glad she hadn’t put them on speaker.
“Wait, wasn’t yesterday when you had your second appointment?” Allison chimed in, her voice weary but intrigued.
“Yesterday…yes…” Emma swallowed and looked down at her barely touched plate, suddenly no longer hungry. “That was my appointment with Sean. It, um, didn’t go well.”
“Oh, honey…” Allison said softly.
The uncomfortable silence between them spoke volumes. Emma tried her best to swallow past the thick ball of sadness that was sitting in her throat, but the truth of her future made her stomach twist with fear.
“What happened?” Makenzie finally asked the dreaded question. Her voice was quiet and soft, which was a first.
“It didn’t work…the procedure. I’m not…” Emma’s voice caught and she gripped the marble counter until pain lanced through her arm. “I’m not—"
“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” Allison breathed, saving her from saying anything else. “So what happened between your appointment and last night?”
“I was seeking solace, I think we both needed comfort and it seems like…it’s not over yet, whatever is happening between us. Last night was nothing short of amazing, and he’s just told me that he’s taking me on vacation for two weeks!”
“Wow.”
“That’s epic…” Makenzie breathed out.
“One hell of a reunion, more like it,” Allison commented before Emma heard a shuffle over the phone line and soft crying. “Girls, I’ll be right back.”
Emma closed her eyes, knowing exactly what her best friend was tending to as Allison’s side of the line filled with murmured noises. The pain in her chest grew tighter.
“Emma? Are you there?” Makenzie asked, sounding a little worried.
“Yes, I’m here.
“Are you okay?”
Emma bit her lip and stared out at the empty hallway that led into a series of rooms she hadn’t yet gotten to see. Sean was in one of them, at this very moment setting up travel plans for them. Who knew when he would come back—and she didn’t want to be on the phone when he did.
“No, not really, Kenzie. I’m not okay at all. I haven’t decided whether or not I’ll go through with another trial, and I don’t think my heart could handle another failed pregnancy. It would probably be easier to…to…”
“No, Emma, really? You’re sure? You don’t want to give up on something like this when you’re starting a new treatment. It’s only natural that the first time wouldn’t exactly take right away.”
Emma rolled her shoulders and took a deep breath.
“That’s what they said with regular IVF too, Kenzie, and you know my diagnosis. Either way, we knew this was a risk and something that might not work at all.”
“But—”
“But, that’s not what I’m calling about right now.” Emma bit her lip and tried to calm her breathing. “I need advice. I’ll deal with the realities when I’m back from vacation.”
She could te
ll that Makenzie had her own theories, but was thankful when her best friend kept her mouth shut, giving Emma the space she needed to ask the question she had called about in the first place.
“If things continue on this path and Sean and I make a real effort to have a relationship,” she began, “what if he wants kids? The man is a fertility doctor—there’s no way he couldn’t want a family of his own, right? Surely he would seek out a life partner who could give him that without trouble.”
“So you want to know if you should ask him.”
“I know we need to have the conversation. I just don’t know when is a good time. Why go any further with this if it’s only going to leave our lives messy and ripped apart? Maybe I should bring it up before we leave and nip it in the bud. If it’s a deal-breaker, we should know now, before we both go deeper down the rabbit hole.”
“But…” Makenzie trailed off, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“I don’t want this to end,” Emma went on. “It’s so good, so right. Between us, it’s like ten years never even passed, other than being older and wiser, and you know my dating history—”
“You mean your history as a nun?” Makenzie quipped. “Yeah, I know your lack of history, babe.”
Emma made a disgruntled noise and rolled her eyes, even though her friend couldn’t see the gesture.
“Which makes it all the more insane that I would ever jump at this chance, don’t you think? So I don’t want to end this…but that kind of conversation is like a shark in the water. It’ll be stalking me the whole trip if I don’t get it out in the open.”
“Don’t you think Sean would have mentioned it himself, if it was an issue to his future?”
“Not if he isn’t thinking of the future, and as much as he’s changed from a decade ago, he might not be thinking on the same permanent line as I am and that could also throw him for a loop. God, so much of this could blow up in my face.”
Emma put her head in her hand and sighed. “This is ridiculous. I know I should be able to communicate openly at our age, but last night hurt so much, I don’t know if I could take another loss right now.”
“Then you’ve already decided, haven’t you?” Makenzie said. “Don’t break this off before you know what’s what, Emma. Go on the trip and try to have a good time. No, try to have the best time. When you get back, then you can have the big, bad talk. If and when you’re ready. There’s no rush.”
“You’re right, I know you’re right.” Emma rubbed her temples, her eyes veering to the empty doorway. “Still no sign of him.”
“What did I miss?” Allison shuffled the phone against her ear. “Sorry.”
“I get it, Allison. It’s okay, really. Kenzie, you want to fill her in on everything when we get off the phone?”
“What? You’re leaving already? Not even going to give us a play-by-play? You’re holding out on us!” Allison laughed, her voice shocked. “That’s not allowed, young lady. Do you know how long I’ve been boning the same man? I need this!”
Emma couldn’t help it, a small smile crossed her lips and she shook her head.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. We’re not twenty-something’s anymore, I don’t have to share anything dirty with either of you.”
“Oh, you’re bragging about me now? I’ll leave the room, that way you can speak without a censor,” Sean teased.
Emma gasped and turned around looking at him in the bedroom doorway.
“How did you get there?” She held the phone away from her mouth, clutching her chest as adrenaline licked up her body. “How long were you listening?”
“Would you believe me if I said I just got here?”
“No, and we were just getting off the call, anyway.” Emma tried to pin on a more sincere smile, hoping he wouldn’t notice her mood. “Is everything good to go?”
“We’re perfect. We’ll be catching a flight out in three hours. Will that give you enough time to pack up?”
“Barely.” Emma frowned slightly as she tried to remember where all her luggage was stored and when the last time was she bought a new bathing suit.
This was going to be interesting. Maybe it would be better if she bought it all while they were there.
“You look like you’re thinking way too hard for someone who’s going on vacation…” Sean came up to her, working his hands over both her shoulders and beginning to knead them. “Relax, Emma. That’s what all this is for, right?”
Emma moaned even as she heard the giggles of her best friends over the phone line. They immediately started bombarding her with questions. There was no way Sean couldn’t hear their desperate cries for more information about last night, and she gasped as he took the phone and spoke into it.
“I’m sorry, ladies, but Emma can’t come to the phone right now. She’s needed in Cancun, Mexico. It was nice to meet you again.”
She watched, stunned, as Sean hung up the phone and placed the handset on the marble countertop.
“There. Problem solved and I have you all to myself. Isn’t that much better?”
“We’re going to Cancun?!”
He nodded as he wreathed his arms around her shoulders, kissing her forehead softly as she practically melted into a puddle on the barstool. Her hands drifted to his lower back, her subconscious mind still worried about the conversation that they would have to have sooner rather than later. But with her mind occupied by his sweetness, and the impromptu vacation on the horizon, she would have more than enough to take her mind off her troubles.
“Now let’s focus on getting you packed up. I’ll call a cab, we’ll go to your place, and we can have a little fashion show. Make packing way more fun for both of us. How does that sound, hmm?”
Chapter 20
Sean
“I hope you enjoyed your flight, Mr. Fisher. Please come back and use our services again.” The stewardess offered her hand as they disembarked and Sean took it, shaking firmly. “Have a great vacation.”
Sean nodded and returned the thanks, but he was distracted. They had landed in Cancun less than ten minutes before, and Emma had been quiet the whole flight. Sean couldn’t be sure what, but something seemed…off.
He took her hand as they descended the steps and she squeezed lightly, a huge grin on her face. There we go, that was something.
“I can already tell this is going to be a much different vacation than my last time here,” Emma murmured, wincing against the blinding sun. “What do you have in store for me?”
“You want me to give away all my secrets?”
“Come on now, you’ve been honing them for years on other girls, haven’t you? They’re hardly secrets, then, right?”
Ouch, Sean thought. That one hurt, but he supposed they hadn’t gone much into their backstories. Emma had no way of knowing that he had toned down his hard-partying ways years ago. Perhaps now, as he led her to the limo waiting to take them to their resort, was as good a time as any.
“You know, I haven’t actually been out on a date in five years.” He laughed self-consciously, looking off into the horizon even as the glare of the setting sun filled his gaze. “First I went back to school and then I began working on my treatment. Once the trials got underway, I didn’t want to do or think about anything else. Hardly any time for partying or dating women. I was too focused on giving them babies. Not in the traditional sense, of course.”
Emma was quiet as they reached the car. When he turned around to face her she wore an unreadable expression.
As a light, humid breeze sifted through his shirt, Sean brought her into his arms and held her tightly, kissing her cheek. She was still fragile from the night before; he could imagine how hard the news must have hit her and even with a lavish vacation, he would be a fool to think he could snap his fingers and make all her troubles go away. She folded into his body, warm and soft, but rigid in his arms. As if she were fighting off his kindness.
“I shouldn’t have brought it up like that, I’m an idiot,” he whispered in her e
ar. “Will you forgive me?”
She nodded against him, sinking into his body as she nuzzled her head into the hollow of his neck. He stroked her hair, silently cursing his bad timing.
“I only meant to say that you didn’t have to worry about me being such a playboy these past few years. All of this? It’s as new to me as to you.” He cleared his throat, suddenly self-conscious. “Come on, let’s get out of this heat.”
She followed his lead as they slipped into the back of the limo together.
“Are you okay?” he asked once they were settled. “Do you want anything?”
“Water would be good.”
At least she was talking, that was something, so he moved to the bar and quickly grabbed a bottle of water, handing it to her before grabbing one for himself. The limo started to move forward and the only thing that kept his attention was Emma.
“We never talked about, you know, if you would want to…” He trailed off, letting the rest of the sentence hang in the between them.
“This isn’t the way I wanted our vacation to start, especially when it was supposed to take my mind off the problem in the first place.” Emma spoke so softly he had to move closer to hear her and she curled up with her chin to her chest. “But I don’t know if I can continue this vacation without knowing what’s real and what’s fake, you know?”
“Honestly, no, not really. I’m sorry,” Sean held up his both hands, lost for words. His brain raced a million miles a minute as he scrambled to understand what she might need from him. “Explain it to me, Emma.”
She took a deep breath and he took her hand, looking at her face to make sure he had permission and that she wanted be touched. When she didn’t recoil, he held her closer.
“Talk to me.”
Emma nodded as the limo continued zipping them through the gorgeous tropical landscape, and he could see that she was blinking back tears. God, he hated feeling helpless.
“I need to know if you want kids, Sean.”
The question hit him like an eighteen-wheeler and his mind reeled as he processed her words. In reality, he supposed he should have seen this coming. But he had been blind.
The Baby Plan Page 10
