by Jim Hines
“I…do not know what that means. I want only to ask you to intercede with the humans on my behalf.”
“Huh?” Not the most intelligent response, but that’s what you got when you woke her up this early.
“With the portal destroyed, I am trapped in your world. I find these tunnels comfortable, and wish to arrange a treaty with your people. I will keep these ‘sewers’ clean of vermin and obstacles, in exchange for your promise to leave me undisturbed. And perhaps the occasional meal. I hear rumors of a thing called ‘fried chicken’.”
Tamora looked at her father, who shrugged and said, “We could bring it up at the next township meeting. A few people got pictures of the dragon when it crossed the river. They know something is down there.”
“You can’t hurt anyone,” Tamora said. “People or goblins or pix.”
“If those are your terms.”
“I’ll—” She straightened, trying to think like a queen. “I shall relay your request.”
“Make sure you specify the good tunnels,” the dragon added, a note of panic to its words. “Not the foul-smelling filth I encountered during our…confrontation.”
“Storm sewers only. Got it.”
“Very good.” The dragon paused. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”
“You’re welcome.” She waited, but the dragon appeared to be done.
“I didn’t get to see it,” Mac complained.
“Maybe I’ll make that one of the terms of the treaty.” Tamora stifled a yawn. “Along with not waking me up before ten.”
“Is this sort of thing going to happen a lot now?” asked Dad. “You know school’s starting in a few weeks, right?”
“Don’t remind me.” She cocked her head. “I wonder how the dragon would feel about being a roller derby mascot. I’m sure Vorpal Thorne would let us change the team’s name to the Grand River Dragons if we had a real dragon. Can you imagine the other teams’ reactions?”
“I’m issuing a parental veto on that idea,” Dad said firmly.
“Fine.” Tamora waved a hand and headed back inside. “The queen is going back to bed until lunchtime. Andre and I are meeting for pizza. His parents finally agreed to let him out of the house.”
“Just pizza, right?” asked Dad. “No prophecies or magic or fighting monsters?”
“That’s the plan.” She grinned. “I’ll text you if anything changes.”
* * *
Lunch was comfortably, wonderfully mundane. Afterward, Tamora and Andre stopped by the Qwik Stop for Slushees.
“How did you convince them to let you out on your own?” Tamora asked as they left.
“It’s not like being home kept me safe. Besides, Mom and Dad know I can take care of myself.” He puffed out his chest. “As long as I’m only out during the day, and I tell them exactly where I’m going and who I’m with and which way I’m walking. And I have to check in every hour. Also, Mom put an app on my phone to track my location. And they gave me a panic whistle.”
Tamora laughed and took a drink of her Slushee. “You can’t blame them. They thought they’d lost you.”
“I thought I’d lost me.” He shook his head. “Hey, Kevin said his sister was going out with your brother tonight?”
“They’re going to see a movie.”
“Good for him. Big Mac, dating a magic cheerleader.”
A car horn honked in the intersection up ahead. Andre tensed, and his hand shot to his hip as if to grasp a dagger or sword.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” His grin returned, but it was strained. “Still getting used to being back. Mostly it’s been great. I’ll never take indoor plumbing for granted again!”
“Just keep the goblins away from it,” she said. He cocked his head in confusion, so she told him about Gulk and Karina Lord’s bathroom.
This time, his grin was genuine. “The only thing that could make that story better was if Ms. Anna had to clean up after him.” He brought his oversized plastic cup to his lips and sucked a huge mouthful through the straw. Two seconds later, his face twisted. “Brain freeze! I forgot about brain freeze!”
“You forgot a lot of things. It’ll come back.”
“I’m probably going to need some help when school starts up. Especially in math. We didn’t do much long division when we were hunting monsters.”
“They’re not monsters,” Tamora said sharply.
“I know, I know. Sorry.” Andre grimaced. “I keep dreaming about it. I wake up in the morning and I don’t remember where I am. Mom says I talk in my sleep, muttering about battles and tactics.”
“How much did you tell them?”
“Not everything. More than we told the police and the reporters. I mean, I’m an inch taller. Then there’s the hair…” He rubbed a hand over his mid-length afro, then touched his face. “And the scar.”
“Where did the scar come from?”
“Goblin ambush.” He stared at the sidewalk. “I didn’t tell my parents about that.”
Andre, Kevin, and Lizzy had all agreed it was better to claim they didn’t remember much about their abduction, save that Ms. Anna had been responsible. They’d said the nanny kept them locked up in the darkness somewhere, but they’d finally managed to escape. From the sound of it, Ms. Anna would be spending the rest of her life here behind iron bars. Without her magical knife, she had little chance of escape.
Smashing the knife with a crowbar from Karina’s garage had restored Tamora’s father, as well as Fanta and the two glass goblins by the willow tree. The pix was unharmed by his ordeal, which he proved by immediately going on a four-minute tirade about Ms. Anna and elves in general.
“What was it like, being a king in another world?” asked Tamora.
“Exciting at first. They taught us to fight, ride horses, and so much more. Kevin had a gift for magic. Lizzy’s quick and clever and sneaky. We weren’t really leading anything, but that didn’t matter. We were important. Or we thought we were.
“After a while, it all turned gray. The days were a blur. Food lost its taste. Colors faded. We forgot where we’d come from. We stopped caring about anything. We trudged through the motions, doing whatever the queen and her commanders told us. We never did much real fighting. We were more like flags they raised for morale. From what you told us about the prophecy, that was the whole point.”
He shook himself, then gave an obviously forced smile. “On the bright side, I’m finally older than you!”
She rolled her eyes. “Not according to your birth certificate.”
He punched her lightly on the shoulder. “You’re not jealous, are you?”
“You should be jealous of me. I’m still a queen, remember? And I fought a dragon.”
“I fought a troll once. He snuck into our camp to assassinate the three of us. The Dead King sent slinks to attack from the north as a distraction.”
“Slinks?”
“Those frog things that spit acid loogies. They drew most of the elf forces away.” He shook his head like he was trying to rid himself of the memory. “Oh, and I got to sail a treeship. I mean, I wasn’t really sailing it, but I was on board as we coasted along the treetops.”
“I wish I could have done that.”
“It was pretty cool, up until Kevin got airsick.” Andre stopped walking. “Hey, I never got the chance to say thank you. For finding us and helping us get back. For saving our lives.”
“You’re welcome. But…don’t let it happen again, okay?”
“I’ll try.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a quick hug. His phone buzzed. “Time to check in with the parents again. Where are we going, anyway? Because you know they’ll ask.”
Tamora pointed across the street. “I need to stop by the library. I’ll be right back.”
When she entered the library, she was unsurprised to find Ms. Pookie working behind the desk. The librarian was sorting through a stack of books, humming to herself as she repaired cracked bindings and torn covers.
“About time you stopped by, short stuff,” she said without looking up. “I saved last week’s paper for you. There’s a front-page article about your three friends being reunited with their families.”
Tamora double-checked to make sure they were alone. “What are you?”
Ms. Pookie set down her books and took a sip of what smelled like coffee from her I Love Libraries mug. “What do you mean?”
“The Peafowl Princess. You just happened to give that fairy tale to my brother? A story he’d never heard of, one that told him exactly what he needed to know at exactly the right time?”
“I’m a librarian. It’s my job to help people find the books they need.”
“Uh huh.” Tamora folded her arms. “Try again.”
Ms. Pookie picked up a stack of mended books and burped loudly. A small, frog-like creature hurried from the back room and carefully took the books in its gloved hands. Ms. Pookie whispered something, and it scurried off to begin reshelving them.
Tamora watched it go. “That was a slink.”
“It turns out she’s quite fond of books, and a quick study. She’s already mastered our shelving system for nonfiction titles. That belch is the closest I can get to pronouncing her name. You can call her Belch.” She got up from behind the desk and walked around to lock the door, flipping the sign to Closed.
“There’s a story I learned as a child,” she said. “About a king and queen who loved each other. But they loved power more. Each wanted to prove themself stronger than the other. They fought more and more, over the smallest of things. The proper way to carve roast pig. Which knot should be used for tying back the curtains of the palace. Whose crown should be the largest. Anything one had, the other coveted. In time, they came to blows.”
“Sounds like they needed a divorce.”
Ms. Pookie chuckled. “Divorce was unknown in this land. Their feud grew deeper, but nowhere was that chasm felt more painfully than in the heart of their only child. A daughter.”
“What did she do?”
“In the beginning, she did what most children do. She tried to heal the breach, to make peace between them. It didn’t work, of course. A child’s love is powerful, but it can’t grow trees from salted earth. When her mother stabbed her father with a cursed blade, the child fled the kingdom.”
Tamora swallowed as she realized what Ms. Pookie was saying. “That must have been hard.”
“Oh, it was. The girl was devastated. For years she wandered. Eventually she left her old lands behind and found a new one. She discovered so many marvels. Books and country music and pro football and reality television. She looked for ways to help her new home, not through battle, but through knowledge and stories. But her parents’ war followed her. So the child watched and waited. She learned of the prophecy, and leant her aid to those who needed it.”
“But the prophecy was a lie,” said Tamora. “The Elf Queen made it up.”
Ms. Pookie smiled. “Just because a story is made up doesn’t mean it’s untrue. ‘The hands of human children three shall end the Dead King’s reign.’”
“That’s what the elves wanted their enemies to believe, that Andre and Kevin and Lizzy—”
“What makes you think the prophecy referred to them?”
Tamora grabbed the desk to keep from falling. “You mean…us? Me and Karina and Mac?”
“Beware anyone who claims a story holds but one truth. The Elf Queen should have known better. The prophecy talked about breaking a thousand years of war, and uniting elves forevermore… You united the Elf Queen and the Dead King in the red willow, yes? Without them, their conflict dies. Oh, I’m sure there will be fighting and squabbling, but not like before. You broke a thousand years of war.”
Tamora was too stunned to do anything but stare.
“I know the goblins have worked out an arrangement with the manager of the junkyard,” Ms. Pookie continued. “Eating rats and other vermin, and helping to inventory everything in exchange for letting them stay. But what happened to the pix?”
“They came to me a few days after we cut down the willow. Vernors—the leader of the pix—said they needed adventure. They wanted to go somewhere rugged and dangerous, full of monsters.” Tamora gave a sheepish shrug. “I did some research on the internet. The next day, Dad and I mailed them to Australia.”
Ms. Pookie burst out laughing, a sound like music and bells. “Oh, well done, Tamora. They’ll love that.”
“What happens now? I mean, there’s a dragon in our sewers. I’ve been to another world, even if it was only for a few minutes. My best friend’s armor and enchanted sword are locked in a gun safe in my basement, because his parents would kill him if they found it. How am I supposed to go back to school and pretend none of it ever happened?”
“Why on Earth would you do that?” Ms. Pookie frowned. “If you pretend it never happened, you’ll be completely unprepared for the next time.”
Tamora swallowed. “Next time?”
“There are other ways to pass from one world to another. They’re difficult and unpredictable, but not impossible. The young princess from my story found a way. The Elf Queen sent Ms. Anna to help bring about her prophecy. I’ve little doubt the worlds will connect again, and when they do, people will need protection.” Her face eased into a smile. She reached over the desk and turned on the radio. “For now? Relax and celebrate your victory. Go enjoy your reunion with your friend. Spend time with your family.”
“Thank you.” Tamora turned to leave.
“And Tamora Soo-jin Carter? If you ever bring a Slushee into my library again, I’ll feed you to Belch, goblin queen or no.”
“I understand.” Tamora grinned. “Your Highness.”
Ms. Pookie made a shooing motion with one hand. “Get out of here. I’ve got books to read and catalog.”
Laughing, Tamora gave an exaggerated bow, then hurried out the door and down the steps, to where her best friend was waiting for her.
Afterword
I was warned against trying to run a Kickstarter in the middle of a pandemic.
It reminded me a little of being a kid, with everyone saying things like, “You shouldn’t eat all the frozen Twinkies right before dinner” and “Don’t climb onto the school roof” and “It’s a really bad idea to ride your bike down the playground slide…”
I’m very happy to say the Kickstarter went much better than the bike/slide experiment.
Tamora Carter: Goblin Queen was the first book I’d written in a long time that wasn’t under contract with a publisher. I didn’t know what would happen with it. All I knew was that I wanted—I needed—to tell this story.
I’m thrilled and honored by how many people wanted to read it. We met the funding goal in five hours. We made every stretch goal I posted. By the end, we raised more than four times the initial goal, allowing me to add those wonderful interior illustrations from Leanna Crossan, among other things.
Thank you so, so much to everyone who supported this book. It wouldn’t exist without the following people:
A. Roehrich
Adrien Estock
Amber Ensign
Amy
Amy Carlisle
Anaxphone
Andi Scott
Andrea Viemeister
Andrija Popovic
Ann Lemay
Anoia
Ariel Rosenfeld
Arielle Paulsen
Arioch Morningstar
Barbara K. Stuber
Becka Rich
Benjamin Bremer
Bennett Snyder
Bess Turner
Beth Bernobich
Bill & Laura Pearson
Bill Emerson
Bill McJohn
Blake Lamar
BookGeekGrrl
Bradford T. Stephens, Esq.
Brian Eberhardt
Brian Quirt
Bridget Kiely
Brittany Sweet
Brittany Wilson
Brook Freeman
Bryon Stump & Cath Schaff-Stump
Bur
Burton Holmquist
C R Lofters
Caitlin Bright
Camille Miller
Carol J. Guess
Casey Karp
Cassandra Yorgey
Cat Carter
Catherine Millais
Cherie Alberski
Chris
Chris
Chris & Meagan Eller
Chris Gerrib
Chris Mangum
Chris Matthews
Chris Waggett
Christine A. Cooney
Christine Ethier
Christine Martin-Resotko
Christopher Robin “@TzaGear” Consaul
Cindy Matera
Claire Fletcher
Claudia Ross
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Craig “Stevo” Stephenson
CVH
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Dwapook
Easy
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J D Chastain II
