by Piper Cook
“Sure thing.” I meet Jaxton in the alley and help haul items from his truck.
“How’s the job going? Everything working out for you here?” Jaxton makes small talk as we unload.
“Yeah. Everything’s going great. Can’t complain.”
Jaxton hiring me when he did is the best thing that could’ve happened to me. I got involved with the wrong crowd early in life and it kind of followed me through adulthood. Hounded me is more accurate. A few bad decisions can put a person on the wrong path. It’s difficult to recover when it feels like there’s no end to the pitch-dark rabbit hole. But there’s always a way out. A few good people and the right breaks can set things right. That’s what Jaxton’s done for me. Blair’s one of those people, too. She just doesn’t know it. And I’m not sure I want to tell her about my past. I’ve had enough bad consequences in my life. As accepting as she appears to be, I’m not sure she’d want more than friendship from a guy like me. A distant friendship is more like it. If she knew what I came from, she’d hightail it back to Purple Haze and bunking with her boss.
“I hear you’re roommates with Blair Pendleton. That going okay?” The change in his tone of voice almost goes unnoticed. My ears perk up and I brace myself, waiting for the inevitable veiled remark. “She’s a hard worker. We think of her as family around here.”
My knee jerk reaction is to go on the defense. Have people been talking? What are they saying? What does Jaxton know? Is this a warning to steer clear of her?
“Everything’s fine. A little mix-up when I showed up. Blair was expecting a female roommate. I was a bit of a surprise.” I try for nonchalant, but not sure Jaxton’s buying it. He knows about my past, but I’m still uneasy about people judging me for it. “Guess there’s more than male Micah’s in the world, huh.”
“I’m sure you two worked that out right away.” He eyes me with a cocked eyebrow. “She’s a feisty one. She’ll keep you on your toes.”
He’s got that right. She keeps me on my toes, on my back, on my knees...
“Yes, sir.” I let down my guard a little and shoot a cordial smile his way. “She’s quite remarkable.”
“Well, let me know if there’s anything you need. Anything at all.” Jaxton places his large hand on my shoulder. I’m a big guy, but Jaxton has size, years, and wisdom going for him. A mentor and father figure wrapped into one. “You’re a good fit for us, Micah. We’d like to keep you around for the long haul. Tell Blair I said hello.”
I’m not sure what to make of our conversation. Jaxton’s put me on notice in the subtlest way possible. I’m accountable for what goes down here, and I’m prepared for that. If I stay on the path he’s offered, things will work out just fine. I finally have my feet on solid ground instead of wondering when my past is going to crop up and suck me under again.
I want a clean slate here. The only way that’s going to happen is if I come clean and lay everything on the table with Blair. It’s the right thing to do. I need her to know me, the good and bad. I need her trust. I need her love.
It’s time to have the hard conversation we’ve both been avoiding.
Chapter 8
Blair
I hear the key in the lock and the nervous tension in my stomach skitters around with nowhere to go. I’m hyper aware of the pounding of my heart and the rise and fall of my breath. I breathe in long and slow and hold it, trying to slow down the thudding against my chest.
When Micah turns the corner to the hall, my heart leaps inside my ribcage. I want to jump up from my bed and wrap myself around him. But I don’t. I calmly try to control my breath and put on an overly cheery face. When he doesn’t look up or say hello, I realize something is amiss. His brow is wrinkled with worry and his shoulders are squared and tense. His jaw is set with tight lips.
“Hey.” I call out cheerier than I feel. “Long day?”
Everyone has good days and bad days. Maybe his mood and appearance have nothing to do with what’s happening between us at all. He reaches for his bedroom doorknob and pauses.
“Yeah, long day.” He manages a flat smile and disappears into his room. The only sound is the click of the door closing.
The nervous tension in my stomach unfurls and echoes through my body. A thousand ants crawl under my skin and I have to move, do something, anything to shake off the worry. I give myself a little dragonfly pep talk. Hope, change, love, contentment. Hope for the best. Change what I can. Love always. Be content with what I have. I cross my fingers and pad down the hall to Micah’s door. I tap lightly with my knuckle.
“Micah? Everything okay?” I wait for what seems like an eternity.
“Yeah.” His muffled voice sounds anything but okay. The bed creaks and he lets out an audible sigh. The handle twists and I take a step back from the door as it slowly opens. He looks tired. Worried kind of tired, not we’ve-been-fucking-like-rabbits-for-the-last-three-weeks kind of tired.
“You don’t look like everything’s okay.”
I reach up to stroke his face with my palm like I have a half a dozen times before in the throes of passion. This time is different. When I touch my palm to his five o’clock shadowed face my heart flutters instead of my lady parts. He reaches up and folds his hand around mine.
“We need to talk.” His dark chocolate eyes worry over mine and my heart sinks low into the pit of the abyss.
This can’t be good.
Micah
It isn’t fair to allow what’s between us to go any further without telling her the whole truth. I lead her down the hall to the living room and she follows quietly. When she sits beside me on the sofa, she appears smaller than before, vulnerable, and fragile, almost timid. It pains me to see her like this, anxious and worried. I squeeze her hand and let go. It isn’t fair to touch her while I tell her the secrets of my past. Not when it could change everything between us.
She watches my hand pull away and starts to hang on, but then tucks both hands under her thighs. Her delicious, creamy, pale thighs that I’ve grown accustomed to being wrapped around my waist. Only she’s wrapped herself around something much more important than my superficial skin deep flesh. She’s inside my head and wrapped around my heart. It’ll hurt like hell let her go.
“I got a little carried away these last few weeks, and I’ve been unfair to you,” I start.
I worry a hand across my jaw. She scrutinizes my face and rocks her head from side to side. It’s like she’s saying no or stop, not wanting me to finish what I have to say. But I can’t stop, even if I wanted to. The only way to truly love her is to let her decide if I’m worth loving.
“I have a past I’m not proud of it and I take full responsibility for my past actions. But I can’t outrun it and I can’t hide it from you.” She sucks her bottom lip in between her teeth and gnaws at it, clearly digesting the gravity of my words. “Not and love you like I do.”
Her lip nibbling halts, and her sea glass blue eyes widen. Her thigh begins jiggling as her heel bounces up and down on the floor. It’s her anxious tell. I’ve come to know it well the last several weeks. As much as I love calming her jittery nerves with my touch, now’s not the right time. If I touch her one thing will lead to another and I won’t say what needs to be said.
“Love me? We agreed this is sex. Only sex.” Her voice trails off to almost a whisper. Her knee bounces quickly, keeping time with the piston quick beat of my heart. Her eyes turn glassy as they narrow and focus on me.
“It hasn’t been just sex since we sat in the burger joint and laid down ground rules.” I slide my hand over her bare knee and calm its rapid movement needing some physical connection to her. Her eyes dart to my hand and she stares, her face unreadable. “Ground rules I couldn’t keep, because you affected me here, in my heart.”
She doesn’t flinch, say a word, or even appear to breathe. I’m a mess inside, needing her to say something, ask me something— And it dawns on me. She didn’t ask about my past. She’s hung up on love. Is she afraid of love? Have I mi
sread her? Has it always been meaningless sex for her?
“I can’t do this right now, Micah. It’s too fast. You’re too much. You can’t love me.”
She bounces off the sofa lightning fast and bolts for the hallway. I watch her slip away and there’s nothing I can do but let her go.
Chapter 9
Blair
This is not how things were supposed to unfold tonight. Things needed to stop before this. Before emotions ran amok. Before our hearts became involved. Chloe was right. Things can only go from bad to worse at this rate.
I fist my fingers into a tight ball and pace the bedroom floor. A million emotions bubble inside me. Anger for allowing myself to become so invested in this thing between us. Miserable knowing I’m incapable of having a normal relationship. Jealous of who comes after me, knowing someone will and I’ll probably run into her in the hallway outside my own door. Annoyed with myself for opening my heart to Micah when I should have safeguarded it.
How can Micah love me? He doesn’t know me. Doesn’t know how wrong I am for normal men. Men who want the pristine woman with a vagina so tight it’s only seen the light of day a handful of times. Not a woman like me. Carefree, taking chances, not giving a damn about societal norms. I break the rules and live my life by my standards. Mine. We weren’t supposed to fall in love. It was supposed to be fun.
And it has been fun. And mindboggling. And heart wrenching. And I do love him. I’ll never be the same without him. That scares me the most.
I slip into a sleep shirt and crawl between the sheets. Things will look better in the morning after my subconscious has time to process everything. I snuggle the sheets around me, but they’re cold and scratchy, prickling at my skin. I toss and turn, punch my pillow, yet nothing helps.
My heart breaks thinking about losing Micah. But I’m afraid of losing myself if I give my heart away. But I already did. I opened it to him the minute his lips touched mine. And he caressed it, safeguarded it, and loved it until it became his entirely.
Love always. Hope for the best.
Micah
I linger in the living room hoping Blair will rethink things and make an appearance before calling it a night. It’s the first evening in three weeks she hasn’t been tucked beneath me, wrapped in arms, with the beat of her heart imprinted on mine. There’s love between us. I know it. I feel it. There’s no way she can’t feel it, too. But she’s spooked and I can’t fix something if I don’t know what’s broken.
A soft shimmer of light slides across my dark bedroom then just as quickly fades away. Tiny tip toes cross the creaky wood floor. A ruffle of cool air wafts under the sheet and the mattress dips. Blair’s warm body presses against mine and I immediately gather her in my arms. Her fingers linger over my bare chest and my heart swells with love for her. She’s soft and pliable against my body, but now’s not the time to explore her. This is something more. She’s offering an olive branch coming into my bed. It’s the last breach in the ground rules. The only off limits line item we never crossed. It’s an admission of real intimacy. She can’t take this back no matter how hard she tries to deny our connection.
“I’m not like other women, Micah.” Her voice is a cautious, breathy whisper. “I’m not normal.”
“There’s no such thing as normal. Not even close. There’s just life.” I rub her back and caress the fuzzy layer of baby hair along her arm. She draws tiny circles over my pec, causing my nipple to tighten and peak.
“I don’t care what people think. I don’t behave the way some people think is proper.”
“I’m quite glad of that.” I let out a small chuckle and kiss her head, filling my lungs with the fragrance of her lavender and lilac shampoo. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here with me right now. I love the real you.”
“How can you love me, Micah? Why?”
If I started a list of all the reasons beginning today, it would take me a lifetime to write them all down. But it boils down to one thing. Her heart.
“Why didn’t you ask me about my past?” It’s a counter to her question, but it sums it all up for me.
She lifts her head from my chest and looks into my eyes. The circles she’d been drawing across my skin cease, and she looks perplexed.
“We can talk about it if you want, but I don’t need to ask. Asking about someone’s scarred past is like picking off a scab and pouring alcohol over the open wound. I’m more worried about people who pretend they don’t have a past. They’re usually the ones who haven’t changed and are still living it.”
“That’s why I love you. You gave me a chance without knowing anything about me.” I stroke my thumb across her cheek. “I’m not perfect and I’ll always be honest with you, Blair. I want a solid foundation with you. I want a lifetime with you.”
“You do?” Her voice trembles.
“I do. I don’t want to change you, Blair. I want to love you.”
“I think I love you, too.” Her voice is barely a shaky whisper. “May I sleep with you tonight?”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I roll her to her back, and she lifts her shirt over her head, exposing more than just her body to me. She’s mine. Body, heart, and soul.
Epilogue
Blair
Turns out I’m more like the dragonfly than I thought. Micah’s been patient as I struggle to find my footing in our relationship. He’s never asked me to be anyone other than who I’ve been all along. Me. Not an extension of him. I no longer feel the need to prove I’m unique or different. I can love Micah and still be myself. He loves me exactly as I am. We both do our part to build each other up and have each other’s back.
We might not be conventional, but we love each other wholeheartedly. We’re building a solid foundation that will last a lifetime. It takes hope, change, and love to transform our hearts to finally reach a point of contentment. And I’m content with Micah and our love. We can’t simply hope for the things we want. Actively pursuing change is the surest way to succeed.
We’re devoted to each other and our future together. It’s why we opted to promise our love and lives to each other with a commitment ceremony. I’m not ready for the label wife, but I’m eager to be Micah’s life partner. When we slip rings on each other’s fingers in front of friends we call family in the coming days, we’ll be more than a dating couple. We’ll be two hearts bound as one.
Hope, change, love, contentment.
Hope for the best. Change what we can. Love always. Be content.
That’s when the real transformation begins.
My life with Micah is more that I could have ever imagined. Dreams do come true.
The End
Up next in the Honey Ridge Summer series: LADYBUG LOVE
Thank you for reading DRAGONFLY DREAMS. If you haven’t done so already, please subscribe to my newsletter so you never miss a new release or free book offers.
Please take a few moments to leave a brief review of DRAGONFLY DREAMS on Amazon. I read every review and appreciate your words of encouragement. Your reviews help indie authors like me gain more visibility so more readers can find our books.
Chloe & Tristan – Ladybug Love
Her divorce left a bitter taste in her mouth, and she’s finished with men. He’s recently single and in no rush to get back into the dating game. Will a chance encounter rekindle her desire and his interest, or will past relationships and secrets keep them from pursuing love?
Chloe
Momma warned me about men who took more than they gave. She said they’d chew me up and spit me out when they’ve had their fill.
Well, I’ve had enough of men like that, and I’ve thrown in the towel. My dating days are over.
When I bump into my secret crush from high school, he colors my world with hope again.
Tristan is handsome, recently single and I’d love to dive into his crystal clear blue eyes.
But can I commit to a man who might leave me high and dry like all the others before him?
Tristan
My life’s been a shit show for the last six months. A drunken one-night stand nearly destroyed my life.
But it was the wakeup call I needed to get my life back together.
When a woman from my past steps in and saves me from another near miss, I’m touched and more than grateful.
Chloe is a curvaceous redhead with brilliant green eyes and enough sass to back it up.
But will a heartbreaking secret be the roadblock to both of us finding love and happiness?
My promise to you: Every short story is steamy and sweet, with insta-love romance and guaranteed happily ever after. Absolutely no cliffhangers and no cheating. I write sassy, strong, curvy women who don't need a man to save the day but love a man who can charm their hearts.
Read LADYBUG LOVE now.
MORE BY PIPER COOK
My promise to you: Every short story is steamy and sweet, with insta-love romance and guaranteed happily ever after. Absolutely no cliffhangers and no cheating. I write sassy, strong, curvy women who don't need a man to save the day but love a man who can charm their hearts. Follow the links for more books by Piper Cook.
HONEY RIDGE SUMMER series
TRADING FAVORS with the GIRL DAD
TIE THE KNOT series
ROCK ‘n ROLL ROMANCE series
SOULMATES FOR THE SINCLAIRS series
BLUE COLLAR HOLIDAY series
SOULMATES FOR THE SINCLAIRS short story collection
BLUE COLLAR HOLIDAY short story collection
GET HOLIDAY CHEERS FOR FREE ON BOOKFUNNEL
Follow and interact with Piper on social media:
FACEBOOK
INSTAGRAM
PINTEREST
Join the
PIPER COOK NEWSLETTER
