by Kaylee, Katy
To take my mind off lecherous thoughts, I looked to Ash standing at the altar to confirm what Morgan was saying. He did look like one happy bastard. His eyes were zeroed in first on his daughter Hannah, and then on Beth. His expression exuded love beyond any I’d ever felt. All my brothers looked on their wives like they carried the secret to happiness. It was a fucking mystery to me how one woman could become the be-all, end-all in their worlds. I couldn’t imagine it. I was a committed bachelor. The idea of spending the rest of my days with one woman made about as much sense as my father’s lame-ass plan to tie our inheritance to getting married and having kids.
My brothers had all been shot squarely in the heart by Cupid, and it had made them more bearable to be around, except when they were being sappy, like now. Even so, I couldn’t help but wonder what that was like to feel the love they clearly felt for their woman. To have a woman love them so whole-heartedly as their wives did. I knew I’d never felt that sort of love, and no woman had felt it for me. Sure, I’d had plenty of women declare their devotion to me, but I knew it was my bank account they loved, not me.
As we continued in our long slow line, I glanced at the voluptuous woman next to me. She wasn’t the first woman to make me think dirty thoughts, but there was something else to her that had me totally forgetting the long-legged wedding planner. Was that how sappy love started? Looking at a woman slightly differently? Was it possible that Cupid was simply biding his time, and that at some point a woman would capture my heart like had happened to my brothers? I laughed inwardly, knowing my brothers would say I didn’t have a heart.
But they were wrong. I’d never had my heart broken from a romantic relationship, but I’d been devastated when my mother died. I knew heartache. I knew rejection, first from my father, who had been all about business when I was growing up, and who instilled that hierarchy of priorities to my brothers and eventually me. As a child, my mother was the only warmth in the house. The only one who cared about something besides growing the business and money.
My father and brothers would say she spoiled me, and maybe she did. I was the baby of the family. Wasn’t that how birth order worked? What they didn’t seem to get was how much of her was a part of me. While they’d been off playing sports or whatever the fuck they did, my mother was teaching me to cook, and later encouraging me to pursue my passion for food.
My father thought being a chef was for pussies. Fortunately, my mother convinced him to put me in charge of the restaurants in the Raven Industries empire. It wasn’t the same as being a chef, but it kept me around food and the creation of it. Of course, once I had my own money, I began to buy my own restaurants, which was why I wasn’t feeling any pressure to marry and have kids now that my father decided he was wrong to push his all-work-no-play agenda on us.
“Kade, you’ll get the ring from Hannah and then hand it to Ash.” The wedding planner’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.
I acted out getting the ring from Hannah and handing it to Ash. I watched as Beth looked at Ash as he pretended to put the ring on her finger. She looked up at him like he was the center of the universe. My stomach clenched at the beauty of it. Would a woman ever look at me like that?
I wasn’t the type of man who inspired that kind of feeling from woman. I wasn’t cruel or rude to them, but I was always clear that sex was sex. There’d never be emotions or a relationship. As a result, women saw me like I saw them — a way to get off. There was no love or reverence in their eyes.
Then I remembered Morgan, and how she looked at me after I’d offered to stand in for Ben. I hadn’t been the center of the universe, but there was something that suggested she saw me as me.
2
Morgan — Thursday
Holy smokes. Kade Raven was spectacularly handsome. The way his green eyes looked at me when we first met stole my breath. When he offered to step in for Ben, my heart rolled in my chest at the sweetness of it. I hadn’t expected that from him, mostly because Ash always suggested Kade was spoiled, immature, and bit self-centered. But I’d seen the concern and desire to rectify Ben’s absence in his eyes.
When our arms were entwined as we walked down the aisle, I thought for sure I was going to swoon. The man smelled like only a sexy man should. Clean. Strong. Powerful. It was intoxicating. The heat from his body made my blood heat and thicken. Being a virgin didn’t mean I didn’t understand or ever feel arousal, but holy cow, next to him, I thought I might spontaneously orgasm. I took a moment to savor it, as it was probably the closest I’d ever get to walking up the aisle at all, much less with the sexiest bachelor in New York.
As the wedding planner talked us through the ceremony, I was constantly distracted by Kade. He had the most amazing shade of green eyes. He was the only one in his family that had that color, as his older brother, Chase, had gray eyes, and his other brothers’ were more hazel. His hair was nearly as dark as mine, and while short, had some waves to its thickness. I’d have to be careful not to get drunk around him, or I might start running my fingers through it. Or kiss those full sublime lips that I knew had kissed a lot of women. Or put those large, long-fingered hands on my breasts. My nipples puckered at the thought. God, I hoped that wasn’t noticeable under my dress.
“Morgan.”
I snapped my attention to Beth, who was handing me fake flowers to hold during the rehearsal ceremony.
“Oh, yes. Sorry.” Cripes. I wondered if I was gawking at Kade and everyone was noticing. Did he notice? I glanced at him and saw those piercing green eyes on me. My insides went liquid hot. He finally turned his attention to Ash and Beth, and I let out a breath I hadn’t even realized I’d sucked in. The bad news was that I was completely overwhelmed by my response to Kade. The good news was, I’d have a spectacular fantasy during my lonely nights.
When the walkthrough of the ceremony was done, I slipped my arm through Kade’s again. This was as close as I’d get to his touching me, so I’d savor it. I’d remember his scent and the heat of him. Boy did I wish he could find me interesting, too. What I’d do find out once and for all what it was like to have a man touch me. But I was being ridiculous. Kade Raven was a billionaire who could have any woman in the world. He’d probably already had, if his reputation was anywhere near accurate.
It made sense that Beth would land a gorgeous man like Ash. She’d grown up in his affluent world. Plus, she was beautiful. They fit together like two perfect puzzle pieces. Together, they had made a wonderful little girl, Hannah.
Me, I was the fun friend of both girls and guys. I was the one that people said had a good personality because they couldn’t say I was pretty. I didn’t think I was ugly, but women of a certain size weren’t ever called beautiful. I wasn’t regal or graceful like Beth. I was awkward and frumpy. No amount of makeup or height of a heel could cover up that fact.
When Kade released my arm as we returned to the foyer, I resisted the urge to latch on to him again and beg him to take my V-card. Instead, I reached out and took Hannah’s hand to keep her near me while Beth talked with Ash and the wedding planner.
“My mommy and daddy are like a prince and princess,” Hannah said.
“They sure are. And so are you,” I said, giving her hand a squeeze. Since my virginity was well-intact with no prospects of changing, Hannah would be the closest I’d have to a child of my own. As much as I wanted to meet a wonderful man to build a family with, it didn’t seem like it would be in the cards for me. My mother said I was too young to be worrying about spinsterhood. Theoretically, she was right. I was only twenty-two. But the demands of life made it such that it seemed unlikely I’d have the time or opportunity to develop a relationship with a man.
Beth broke away from Ash and the wedding planner to come over to me and Hannah. “Oh god, I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy.”
“You look happy, Beth. You both do. Along with this little munchkin.”
“Thank you so much for looking after her,” Beth said picking up her sweet girl.
&
nbsp; “It’s my pleasure. You know I love her to bits.”
“Listen, we’re heading over to the restaurant for rehearsal dinner. Do you want to ride with us?”
“If I can fit.” I didn’t mean it to be a personal slight on my weight. It was more related to the number of people that could fit into a car.
Beth frowned, clearly thinking I was dissing myself. “We’re in a limo.”
“I love the limos,” Hannah gushed. “Come with us, Morgan.”
“I’d enjoy that.” I followed Beth and Ash out, marveling at what a lovely family they made with Hannah. I wondered how long it would be before they decided to add to their already perfect family.
In the car, Ash and Beth sat together facing forward, his hand firmly grasping hers. Hannah and I sat facing backwards.
“Look Morgan,” Hannah said as she opened a little door. “It’s a ‘frigerator. Do you want something to drink? I can serve you.”
I laughed. “No thank you, sweetie.”
“Did you see this? It makes the window in the roof open,” Hannah said poking a button that made the sunroof retract.
I looked over at Ash, who watching Hannah with such love it was heart stopping. I was so happy for Beth and Hannah to have found him again. Beth deserved love and happiness, and Hannah deserved a father who’d dote on her. They each found that in Ash.
The car pulled in front of a restaurant that everyone in New York knew about, but where only the elite of the elite could afford to eat. Never in a million years would I have thought I’d eat there. Of course, it was a Kade Raven restaurant.
Ash held the door open for all of us to enter. I gasped at the sophisticated elegance of the restaurant. The décor was a mixture of art deco and modern, making it look classic and rich. Rumor was it served eight to ten course meals with a starting price of three-hundred dollars. It was a fitting establishment in the Raven family empire.
I knew Kade was the brother who ran the restaurants, and I was dying to ask him about it. I liked food, as my figure attested to, and wanted to open my own little food place. But since I couldn’t hardly form a coherent thought during the rehearsal, it was unlikely I’d be able to pick his brain about opening a food business.
“Make yourself at home anywhere you want,” Ash said to me. “The restaurant is closed except for us.”
I’d spent my entire life around wealthy people, since my mother had been the housekeeper for Beth’s family before the family’s business failed. But even growing up around money, I never failed to gape in wonder at opulent wealth. Did rich people know anything about struggle and hard work? Beth and Ben did, to a certain extent, but not like me and my mother. Even as Beth and Ben sold assets and scrimped and saved as their dad’s business started to crumble, they’d lived in a multi-million-dollar townhome near Central Park, not the cramped apartment in Inwood like my mom and I shared. Not that I begrudged them that. It only made me wonder if they could really see how different their world was from mine. What it was really like to wonder if there was enough money to pay the rent or electric bill because the medical bill was behind.
“Morgan,” Hannah said running up to me. “Sit with me.”
I smiled. I had to concede that despite our titanic socio-economic differences, Beth and Hannah, and now Ash, treated me well. I never felt less than. They looked after me, and if I and my mother weren’t so full of pride, they would probably help us more financially. My mother loved Ben, Beth and Hannah, but she’d always told me to keep in mind my place in the social order of the world.
“They’re good to us, Morgan, but we’re not of their world. Don’t get any ideas that you are,” my mother would say.
“Where do you want to sit?” I asked Hannah.
“By my mommy and daddy.”
I smiled, loving how she worshipped them both. I wished I was the one to watch her while Beth and Ash went on their honeymoon, but Beth felt like that was too much to ask of me, and apparently Chase and Sara wanted the last-minute practice in child rearing before their own baby came. I supposed that soon, I’d see less and less of Hannah now that Beth wouldn’t need the extra help.
Pushing away the sadness and yes, a little bit of envy, I let Hannah lead me to the table. The family was happy and excited as they should have been. Cameron Raven, the patriarch of the Raven family, arrived, and while I could feel a little increase in tension from the Raven sons, that quickly settled down when he got a drink and started talking with Sara, for whom I was told he had a special affinity.
A woman named Alex arrived as well. I was told she was Cameron’s assistant, but also a good friend of the family. It started to seem like the Ravens were sort of like the McAdamses in their relationships with their hired staff.
The one no-show was Ben. I looked over at Beth, who was smiling at Ash, and who was clearly not letting Ben’s absence ruin her wedding plans. I felt bad for her and wanted to throttle Ben. Why couldn’t he pull his head out of the bottle long enough to support his sister?
I suspected his anger at Ash for having fallen in love with his sister, and then the humiliation at Ash’s family having to bail them out of financial disaster, made it worse for Ben. But still, I thought he was a selfish jerk to let that get in the way of his sister’s happiness.
I looked around for Kade, who was busy moving around the restaurant, apparently making sure everything was running smoothly. I wondered if he felt out of sorts too, now that all his brothers had families. Or maybe he just took his work as the owner of the restaurant seriously, and wanted to make sure everything went smoothly for Beth.
“He’s a looker, isn’t he?” Alex said, taking a seat next to me at the table.
“Who?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t drooling over Kade.
“Kade Raven,” she said with a knowing smile.
I shrugged. “He’s all right.”
She laughed. “Honey, don’t be embarrassed. Plenty of women have fallen for Kade’s charm.”
“Have you?” I asked.
She laughed. “No. But that’s because there’s a no-touch policy at Raven Industries. But I won’t deny that when I first started there, I looked at him. A lot. Of course, Kade ruins his sexy image when he opens his mouth.”
“Really?” I looked over at him again. “He was really nice to Beth tonight when her brother didn’t show up.”
Alex’s face darkened. “They should toss that drunk bum on the street,” she sighed. “You’re right, Kade is a step up from Ben. Still, he’s a spoiled brat. He’s the one that likes to push people’s buttons and watch them go off. Like he’s eight years old or something.”
“He’s the youngest, right?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“I guess that’s how it is for babies of the family.”
She laughed. “He’s a baby, all right.”
I felt the need to defend him, but since she knew him better than I did, I couldn’t. I preferred to hold onto the image that he was the sexy man who offered to stand in for Ben.
Her eyes narrowed as she studied me. “I’ll introduce you, if you like.”
I shook my head. “We met at the rehearsal. Besides, I’m not his type.”
Alex let out a throaty laugh. “Honey, you’ve got boobs, you’re his type.” Her expression turned more serious. “You just can’t expect more than a few good rolls in the sack with him.” She looked over at Kade who was talking with the bartender. “I hope someday Cupid shoots his arrow right in Kade’s ass. I pray to God I’m around when he does. I’m dying to see Kade be bested by love.”
3
Kade — Thursday
Everything was running smoothly. Drinks were served. Hors d'oeuvres set out. And shortly, dinner would be leaving the kitchen to be consumed by Ash and Beth’s guests. My work wasn’t done, but the important part was. I could now relax and enjoy the party.
To be honest, though, I’d have rather continued my roll as restaurateur than brother and best man of the groom. Not that I didn’t love Ash or my other b
rothers. The truth was, we were all getting along better, and I suspected my dad’s dumbass new rules had something to do with that.
With that said, I felt even more like an outsider from them than I had growing up. Being the youngest of the family meant I’d often been ignored and dismissed. Even as an adult, my father and brothers often didn’t take me seriously. They’d say I wasn’t serious, that I was flippant and too sarcastic. I probably was, but I wasn’t going to let them get away with ignoring and dissing me. I’d get their attention one way or another. Often it was doing something that annoyed the crap out of them. I could only imagine what therapist Grace would say about that.
Now, I felt even more distant from my brothers. They were married. Ash had a child, and Chase was about to be a father. I didn’t doubt that it wouldn’t be too long before Hunter and Grace had a kid of their own. I was going to have to settle for being the fun uncle to them all. That is, when I was around them. Their lives were so different from mine that we wouldn’t see each other much. I worked more hours despite Chase’s work-life balance initiative at the office. Hell, I’d taken to hanging out with my dad since the rest of my brothers were busy with their own families.
Not that I couldn’t find company whenever I wanted. I could get a woman anytime, anywhere. I had a few that I called up when the urge arose, or I could simply saunter up to the bar and invariably, there’d be a woman with the come-hither look I could count on for a little fun. Some would even hint at a long-term relationship, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew that when they looked at me, they saw dollar signs — not Kade Raven. That thought had me looking over at Beth’s friend, Morgan. She was talking to Alex, and the two of them would occasionally glance my way. Fuck. God only knew what Alex was telling Morgan about me. If Morgan had any sense, she’d listen to Alex’s annoying, yet often accurate assessment of me and run far away.
