by Marta Perry
Becky giggled and hastened her steps as they rounded the bend in the road and could see the farm lanes. Sally’s gaze flew to the spot where Aaron had stood waiting for her. But he wasn’t there.
Foolish to be disappointed. He was probably busy at home. One small baby could turn things upside down for everyone in the family. He might have to forget about working with Star for a few days.
“Bye, Teacher Sally.” Becky ran ahead, pelting down the lane to her family’s farmhouse, obviously unable to wait another moment to see her baby brother.
Sally turned down her own lane, lecturing herself about being disappointed over not seeing Aaron. After all, she’d seen a good bit of him the previous day. She couldn’t expect to run into him every day, could she?
She was still arguing her way out of disappointment when she spotted Aaron leading Star out of the barn. Her heart gave a leap. She tried to suppress the happiness that danced along her veins at the idea of seeing him. Silly. She was getting as silly as a thirteen-year-old, giggling in the cloakroom because she’d spotted that special boy.
Waving at Aaron, Sally hurried into the house. For once Elizabeth wasn’t in the kitchen, so she was able to leave her things on the table and dash out again.
Aaron was leading Star around the buggies again, and as she came up to them, the gelding danced nervously.
“Komm, foolish one,” Aaron chided him. “It’s just Sally. You know her.”
“That’s right.” She held out her hand with the carrot she’d grabbed from the bin on her way out the door. “You remember treats, anyway.”
Velvety lips moved on her palm, and Star began crunching the carrot noisily. While he chomped, she smiled at Aaron.
“How is it with your new nephew today? All well, I hope?”
Aaron’s face relaxed in a grin. “Yah, he seems to be ruling the roost at the moment. Caleb’s so delighted he’s like a dog with two tails, both wagging. I guess he figured there wouldn’t be any more babies after Timothy.”
“Until Jessie came along and changed their lives,” she finished. “I’m sehr glad. Jessie really longed for a baby, I know.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Now, how does a nice young unmarried girl know something like that? I always thought married women were more discreet.”
“Some of them are, I suppose.” She thought of her sister-in-law, and the attitude that wouldn’t let her accept Sally’s help. “But Jessie and I have gotten to know each other since she came. She and Leah... Well, they seem to understand that I don’t belong with the young single girls any longer.”
“You being so very old,” he teased.
Before she could find a suitable answer, Star decided to take issue with the wheels of a buggy, trying to back away.
“Enough, you foolish thing.” Aaron led him around the buggy again. “Where did Star come from? Was he trained for harness racing?”
“I don’t know about his training,” she said. “According to my uncle, he was bought off that racetrack out near Scranton.”
“He flunked out of racing, in other words.” Aaron smiled at her expression. “Don’t be offended. Plenty of good buggy horses come from the harness racing world. Star doesn’t take to the pacing, though, for all that he looks like a standardbred.”
“Would that be why he couldn’t make it in harness racing?” She considered Star, liking his smooth, muscular lines and the way he held his head.
“Could be. But it doesn’t really matter for a buggy horse. He’s got a nice, smooth trot, and he’d do well enough, if we can get him over shying at anything that distracts him.”
“That’s what you were doing before you came back, then?” she asked tentatively, knowing his time in the Englisch world was a sensitive topic. “Training racing horses?”
He nodded, but he didn’t offer anything else, and she didn’t feel brave enough to push the subject. If she was patient, maybe one day he’d tell about his life out there. And how it ended.
Aaron gave the horse a pat on the shoulder. “Let’s get him harnessed up, and we’ll do some more ground driving. He has to get used to the blinders, or he’ll be a danger out on the road.” He darted a smiling glance at her. “Don’t worry. I don’t expect to fail.”
“Sure of yourself, aren’t you?” she said, teasing.
“Only when it comes to horses,” he replied.
She saw the truth of it as they worked. Aaron was clearly confident about his ability with the horse. She watched as he put the harness on Star, talking constantly as the gelding, at first a little fractious, calmed down in response and stood quietly.
What a gift Aaron had—he was gentle, steady and patient, everything a horse would respond to.
Or a woman, a little voice in her mind observed. Sally tried to ignore it.
Once Star was standing quietly in full harness, Aaron nodded to Sally to pick up the lines. “I’ll walk at his head for a bit while you drive him. You’re the boss, and he has to get used to your voice.”
She adjusted the lines in her hands, telling herself she wasn’t at all nervous, and more than a little aware of Aaron’s gaze on her. “Now, Star.” She collected the gelding’s attention. “Walk on.” She accompanied the words with a small movement of her hands.
To her pleasure—and a little surprise—Star walked on quietly. Obviously Aaron’s slow and steady training was paying off. Each of her own attempts to drive Star had been a battle from the start.
They walked the horse around and around the barnyard. Understanding what Aaron wanted, she steered Star close to the various obstacles that might be expected to distract him. There wasn’t the faintest hesitation as he moved along.
“Gut boy,” she said, unable to keep the exhilaration out of her voice. She flashed Aaron a smile. “You really are a wonder worker, ain’t so?”
“It’s all a matter of patience. And listening to the animal. It tells you what it wants and what it’s afraid of if you only listen.”
“Well, you clearly heard what Star was saying better than I did.”
“Maybe I’m more used to listening.” He looked at her, a challenge in his eyes. “Are you ready for me to step away from his head?”
A little flutter teased her stomach as she took the challenge. “For sure. Let’s see how he does without you.”
Predictably, Star turned his head to watch as Aaron moved away. But when Sally clucked to him, he moved on obediently.
She grinned, picking up the speed a little so that he broke into a slow trot. Sally jogged along behind him, her attention all on the horse. She was doing it. This was going to work out, and she’d have the freedom that her own buggy horse gave her. Exhilaration carried her along.
“Watch out—”
Aaron’s warning came an instant too late. She stepped into a depression in the ground and lost her balance, coming down heavily. Even as she saw the ground rushing at her, she held onto the lines and managed to halt Star even as she sprawled in the grass.
Star stopped, standing quietly even though he must have been aware that something was wrong behind him. Sally was so pleased that she hardly noticed her sprawled position until Aaron reached her. He knelt next to her, reaching out to clasp her shoulders.
“Sally, are you hurt? Can you move?” The concern in his voice warmed her.
“I’m fine, I think.” She moved her legs and found that everything worked. “Nothing hurt but my dignity.”
She could feel his tension relax. “You held on to the lines. That’s the most important thing.”
“Ach, no. The most important thing is that Star is standing quietly, thanks to you.”
She looked up into his face as she spoke, startled to find him so close. It felt as if she could feel the warmth radiating from his skin, and she took in the fresh, masculine scent of him.
Awareness flooded her. She tried to look away,
but it was impossible. All she could do was sit there in the grass with Aaron’s hands strong on her shoulders and his lips inches from hers.
He sucked in a breath, and his eyes darkened. He drew even closer, until she could imagine his lips on hers, gentle and demanding at the same time.
And then, too quickly, he pulled back, leaving her with her lips parted and her skin chilled by the sudden loss of his warmth.
“If you’re sure you aren’t hurt, let me help you up.” His hands moved to her elbows. His tone was cool, his face impassive, and her heart winced in pain.
“I can manage...” she began, but he had already lifted her to her feet and taken a step away.
A flurry of movement at the edge of her vision warned her. Elizabeth came running toward them. Aaron must have seen her before Sally did. Relief swept through her.
“Sally, what happened? That horse—”
“No, we can’t blame Star. I wasn’t watching where I was going, and I stepped in a hole.” She looked down, scuffing at the hole with the toe of her shoe. “Next thing I knew I was sitting on the ground, but Star stood perfectly the whole time.” She couldn’t help the note of triumph in her voice.
“Yah, well, that’s a gut thing.” It was a grumbling concession, but probably the best Elizabeth could do. She put her arm around Sally’s waist. “Komm in the house and let me make sure you’re not hurt. You could have twisted an ankle, falling like that. Aaron will take care of the horse, ain’t so?”
“Of course.” Aaron’s tone was carefully polite.
“But we weren’t finished—” she protested, but now Aaron interrupted her.
“Just about. I’ll walk him around a few more minutes, and then unharness him. Next time we’ll hitch him to the buggy.”
“Are you sure Star is ready for that?” Maybe Star was, but she had to confess that she wasn’t ready for the training to end.
“Aaron is the trainer,” Elizabeth said. “I’m sure he knows best. Besides, he’ll be wanting to finish up so he’ll be free to...do whatever he plans to do next.”
They all knew what she meant by that, didn’t they? Elizabeth was pushing Aaron for a decision. Was he staying or going? The fact that Sally longed to know the answer didn’t make it any easier to forgive Elizabeth for pressing.
“Go along and relax,” Aaron said, his voice colorless, his face turned away. “We’ll work again tomorrow.”
He took Star and began walking him around, leaving her with nothing to say, even if she could have come up with something.
* * *
Aaron knew perfectly well what Elizabeth had been doing. She’d seen them close together and come running out to save her sister-in-law from him. Or maybe from herself. He understood, all right.
He swung his leg and kicked a chunk of gravel from the lane, sending it soaring toward a fence post. Unfortunately it missed. He’d have preferred a satisfying plop.
Still, he supposed it was just as well that Elizabeth hadn’t been near enough to see their expressions. Then she’d really have panicked. He’d been close to it himself.
Where was the guilt he should feel? Instead of regretting it, all Aaron could do was picture Sally’s face so close to his, with her blue eyes filled with longing, her lips...
Now the guilt did wash over him. He’d lived in the outside world too long if he could feel that way for Sally. What Sally felt was an extension of the hero worship she’d had for him as a child, and that couldn’t be a solid basis for anything. In some ways, despite her maturity and her surprising wisdom, she was still that little girl.
Well, maybe not a little girl. Sally had improved with age, but as for him—he seemed to see himself reflected in the clear blue of her eyes. She still saw her hero, but he saw the truth. He was older, worn away by everything that had happened to him. He was no longer capable of being the person Sally needed and deserved. And there was the central, impossible barrier between them—he wasn’t Amish any longer.
By the time Aaron reached the farmhouse he was in no mood to inflict himself on the rest of the family. He headed for the barn. There was always something to do there, preferably something that pushed his muscles to their utmost and dulled his mind.
A solid hour of mucking out stalls brought with it a measure of calm. The repetitive movements, the play of muscles against his shirt, the familiar sounds and smells of a stable...they all had the ability to soothe the senses, at least for him. He could even smile at the thought of recommending such therapy for some of the people he’d known.
At least now he was in the proper mood to go inside and inflict himself on other people.
He’d stopped outside the house to scrape the dirt from his shoes when he saw a buggy coming down the farm lane toward him. Automatically he stepped forward to take the horse’s head as it reached him.
The driver nodded his thanks, and Aaron’s momentary peace vanished at the sight of the bishop. In the next instant Bishop Thomas had turned back to lift down a basket, and Aaron could breathe again. Bishop Thomas had obviously come because of Jessie and the new baby, not him.
“I’ll take care of the horse and buggy, Bishop Thomas. You go right on in.”
“Denke, Aaron. But you were on your way inside, as well, ain’t so?”
It seemed he wouldn’t be allowed to slip away out of sight. “As soon as I finish cleaning up.” He managed to smile. “Leah’s in charge, and she’ll kick me out if I bring the stable smell into her clean kitchen.”
Aaron delayed it as long as he could. Bishop Thomas was a fine person, but he wasn’t ready for any questions about his faith or his intentions. But finally he had to go inside.
He found everyone gathered around Caleb, who held his tiny son while the others clustered around him. Timothy was on the edge, standing on tiptoe trying to see his baby brother, so Aaron picked him up from behind and hoisted, making the boy giggle.
“Is that better? What do you think? Does he look like you?”
Timothy’s forehead crinkled as he tried to imagine his image in that tiny face. “I think he just looks like a boppli.”
The adults chuckled, but Becky shook her head. “I remember you when you were little, and you looked a lot like Will.”
“I wasn’t ever that little,” he declared.
Caleb grinned and reached out to tickle him. “Yah, you were. But you grew fast.”
“Babies have a way of doing that,” Bishop Thomas said, his voice gentle. He reached out to touch the baby’s head lightly. “The gut Lord be with you, William.”
They were all silent for a moment. Then the bishop stepped back, smiling. “Now I must go, or I’ll be late for supper and my wife won’t like that. Will you walk out with me, Aaron?”
Caught. Aaron obviously didn’t have a choice. He held the door and followed Bishop Thomas outside, bracing himself for whatever words of wisdom the bishop wanted to impart.
Nothing was said as they moved to the horse and buggy together. There Bishop Thomas paused, turning to put a strong hand on Aaron’s shoulder. “So, Aaron. How are you doing, now that you have been home for a time?”
Aaron didn’t want to meet his eyes, but he couldn’t help doing so. At least he didn’t read any condemnation there. “All right. But I haven’t made any decisions about the future, if that’s what you’re asking.”
It occurred to him that wasn’t the best of responses, but Bishop Thomas didn’t seem offended. Instead, he just looked curious. “What is it that holds you back, do you think?”
Aaron shrugged, feeling inarticulate. How did he put it into words? “I don’t know. It’s just...when I think about kneeling in front of everyone, confessing I’ve done wrong...”
“Ach, Aaron, do you think you’re the first to stumble? We have heard worse.” He had a rueful smile. “Anyway, that’s looking too far ahead.”
Aaron could only stare a
t the bishop blankly. “Too far ahead? That’s surely the first step, isn’t it?”
“Ach, no.” The bishop paused, as if trying to think how to explain something to a child, and Aaron waited, tense, torn between wanting to hear and wanting to run away.
“If God is calling you back,” Bishop Thomas said slowly, “His voice will get so strong that there will be no doubting it. And when that time comes, nothing else will matter the least little bit. You see?”
Aaron shook his head. He didn’t see, and he couldn’t imagine it.
Bishop Thomas chuckled. “You are like Timothy, unable to see that he’d ever been that small. Just wait, and listen for God’s voice. It will come, in His time. And in the meantime, will you commit to living by the Ordnung for a time...say, for a month?”
He was torn, not wanting to commit to anything unless he could be sure. But the bishop was waiting. Finally, reluctantly, he nodded.
“I’ll try. For one month.”
“Gut.” Bishop Thomas clapped him on the shoulder. “Now stop worrying about it. Just listen. God will make it clear.”
Aaron wasn’t sure whether he hoped the bishop was right or wrong.
Chapter Nine
When Sally had reached the house, she’d made a quick excuse to scurry up to her room, eager to avoid the lecture Elizabeth seemed primed to deliver. She’d said she had to change her muddied dress and do some schoolwork, which was true enough.
But instead of doing so, fifteen minutes later she found herself standing with a clean dress in her hands, completely lost in her thoughts, while Aaron’s face filled her mind.
Those moments when they’d looked into each other’s eyes—she couldn’t be mistaken about what she felt, not now. Dropping the dress, she sank down onto the bed, pressing her palms to her hot cheeks. She loved him. She was in love with Aaron King.
For years she’d convinced herself that she could never risk making a mistake again, but now she knew how foolish she’d been to think she could lock love out of her life.
