by Rose Pearson
“How you go on, but you know you look well in that gown. I never wore it, in truth the color did not suit me, but it goes very well with your hair and your complexion. In fact, I think you should keep that gown, as it suits you best,” Jane said to her cousin.
Sarah was nearly speechless, the gown she was wearing was stunning. The material was a fine silk in a shade of mint green which did much to complement her eyes. A soft overlay of delicate embroidered white gauze adorned the dress, which was trimmed in ribbons with ruching at the bodice. The gown was dramatic, and Sarah felt like royalty wearing it, but she could not accept her cousin’s gift as the dress was worth many times her yearly salary.
“I thank you heartily for your generosity, but this dress is far too fine for me. I shall wear it tonight and then I shall return it to its rightful owner,” Sarah said as she embraced Jane.
“I insist you keep it, but we can discuss your gown after the ball. Tonight I wish for all of us to have a wonderful time,” Jane replied.
Jane was so wonderfully kind, and her generosity took her breath away. It was worth taking the risk of bringing her aunt’s wrath down on her head to wear such a gown, particularly when tonight may be the last evening she was to spend with Mr. Langford. She was genuinely sorry to see this night arrive as she was enchanted with the idea that she would dance with him. It was a night that promised to be full of romance and possibilities, if not for herself, for the officers and the ladies at Hatherley. It was to be a magical night, and one Sarah did not want to miss.
“Let us not delay. I am anxious to hear the music and dance, are you not?” Sarah asked her cousins.
“Most anxious! Listen, they are starting. Do you hear the music?” Katie asked as she turned her head to the door.
From the corridor outside, the unmistakable sound of an Irish reel wafted up the stairs from the ballroom. The song, so happy and cheerful, instantly put Sarah in a mood to forget all her woes for one evening. In the dream of a dress she was wearing, with her hair set in ribbons and bows, she felt as if she was an heiress to a fortune and not just a ladies’ companion. Leading her cousins from her room, she urged them downstairs as quickly as they could move, for she was impatient to begin an evening she was sure to remember.
Downstairs in the great hall, a great number of new people circulated among the guests. The ball was an annual event given at the Hatherley during the season. The Baron Carmody insisted that the local gentry, county officials and anyone of note from the nearby estates and towns received an invitation. Sarah could not recall ever seeing so many people inside a private residence in all her life. The laughter was loud and raucous, the punch was flowing freely, and the music played. It was a delightful evening which was made even better when she saw the one man she longed to accompany to the ballroom.
Mr. Langford was fashionable as ever in his pressed white shirt with its high collar. The collar of his shirt was accented by his impeccably tied cravat in matching starched white. The tails of his coat and breeches were sewn from a black fabric that shone in the candlelight. His hose was as white as his cravat and his patent shoes were polished until they glistened. His hair, sandy blond and wavy, was styled in the manner of the Prince Regent. The rakish style gave him a regal air as he bowed gracefully to her. Sarah noticed the envious looks of several young women from across the room, the same women who were reluctant to permit him out of their presence.
All the jealous glances could do nothing to dampen Sarah’s spirits as she curtseyed to him formally in answer to his bow.
“Miss Powell, you are bewitching this evening,” he said as his blue eyes gleamed, their brilliance hypnotic.
“Mr. Langford, you flatter me, by your words and your actions. But surely there are other ladies far more handsome than me at Hatherley.”
“There is no one at Hatherley who is as comely as you. I would be honored if you would dance with me.”
Sarah nodded her head in exuberant acceptance. As she placed her gloved hand on his arm, she could scarcely believe her good fortune. This gentleman, this tall handsome man, wanted to dance with her. It was impossible to believe that he would not seek out the company of women who were wealthy, who could ensure a life or rank and station, but he chose her. His reason, he did not give but it was like the man himself, mysterious and unknown.
“I think you and I may cause a sensation before the night is over,” he leaned close to whisper to her as he escorted her through the crowds and into the ballroom.
As the musicians began to play, Sarah took her place in the line of dancers across from Mr. Langford. For a moment, she saw no one else, she heard the music in the distance as it was far away. He was all that she saw, his handsome face, his ice blue eyes brilliant and sparkling. To her, he was more than his comely features, or his muscles, arms, and sinewy legs. His nature, his kindness, and his charm made him irresistible to her. In the ballroom crowded with people, with the music playing and the sound of conversation all around, she had no awareness of anything else or anyone else, just him.
The dance began as he reached for her, her hand in his, his other hand on her waist. She felt the exhilaration of moving in time with him, of being in his arms even for a little while as they danced and moved away, performing the steps of the dance with precision. He was light on his feet and she was graceful. They were a perfect complement to each other as she smiled and chatted with him, wishing the music would never end.
But end it did, and far too soon. As the song came to its conclusion, she applauded with the other couples around her, Mr. Langford at her side. His face leaning close to hers as he said, “I wish to speak to you. Shall we find a place in the drawing room?”
She agreed as she would have agreed to any proposal he may have given her. With a giggle, she answered, “If you asked to go walking into the cold night, I would go. Wherever you choose, I will follow.”
“You should be careful who you say such things to. I have honorable intentions, but others may not,” he laughed as he led her through the well-dressed assembly of local gentry dressed in their finery. She walked beside him past lords and ladies who were keeping their own circles among the knights and solicitors, and the landowners who were enjoying the punch and the hospitality of the Baron. It was a large party and an increasingly lively one. Sarah did not mind leaving it in the least.
The drawing room had become the domain of gentlemen and ladies who favored games of cards and chance to dancing. The din of their discussions was nearly as loud as the music from the ballroom. In a room so large, a secluded corner was soon found by the windows. Sarah sat down on a tufted chaise as her companion sat beside her. The exertion of the dance shown in his face, and in hers, she wagered, as she tried to catch her breath.
“Here, we may find a few minutes to be alone,” he said in a conspiratorial air.
“Alone? We are surrounded by people on all sides,” she observed.
“We may be surrounded, but in our quiet corner, no one cares to pay us any attention, not when there is money being wagered on the tables.”
“I am astonished you are not playing. Your love of cards is often spoken of by Henry.”
“He has seen me play a few hands, I’ll grant you, but tonight I have no desire to waste my time on cards or much else. I wish to spend these hours with you, unless you care to raise an objection.”
“You will hear no objections from me. I dare not ask why you have chosen to be with me on this evening when there are other women here who may tempt you.”
“Tempt me by their wiles and their machinations, or their rank and dowries? No, I have seen enough of that in London. I prefer your company as you offer no pretense or subterfuge. With you I may be as I am, and so may you. We have understood each other from the first.”
Sarah looked away from her companion as she longed to ask what he meant. Should she be so bold as to ask, or did she dare not, allowing herself to be swept along by his lead, like a leaf in the current. Choosing to say what she felt, sh
e risked the serenity of the moment, as she breathlessly said, “Mr. Langford, there is so much I wish to ask you, so much I wish I knew about you. You know everything about me, about my family, my position. Should I be alarmed that I know so little about you?”
“Do not be alarmed. There is nothing of interest about me except that I am as you see before you. I am a man who has the good fortune of a friend like your cousin, Henry, who invited me to come to Hatherley. I attend the university, and I make my way in this world as any other gentlemen. There is nothing extraordinary or alarming in that.”
“No, I suppose there is not, but you seem mysterious. I wonder about you, I should not say so, but I do.”
“And I wonder about you, you who are beautiful and could find companionship in any of the young officers here. I wonder why you chose me when I saw how they stared at you each wishing I would retire so they may have a chance to dance with you.”
“I do not believe you,” she laughed, charmed by his compliments.
“Believe me, you do not see who you are. You are more than a former governess and your modest dowry. You are much more,” he said as he slowly reached for her hand.
He held her hand in his. She did not remove her hand even though she knew it was not proper for a man who was not engaged to her to be seen displaying affection in such a manner. Yet, she did not care about convention or her reputation which she feared may not recover when she resigned from her position after the holiday. There were so many worries and fears for the future, but tonight, she did allow any of them to enter her mind. Pushing them all away, she let him hold her hand in his, hers feeling so small in his large one. His fingers gently caressing hers distracting her from all her thoughts.
“Does it matter to you if I am a Baron or a highwayman? Would you care if I were a merchant or an actor?” he asked as he looked into her eyes.
“None of that matters to me if you are a man of good character. I care little for the trappings of wealth and I care less for title.”
“You are not as the other women in society, are you?”
“No, I am not. Perhaps it is because I must earn my wage that I do not judge others for their livelihoods or their lack of noble connections. How could I aspire to marry a man who had connections when I have none? I learned about the folly of that endeavor to my shame and I am the better for it. I would rather marry for love than not at all, and not to gain security.”
“You are remarkable. Not many women share your views,” he answered as he continued to caress her hand in his, his expression as pleasant as she could wish.
With a flirtatious giggle, she asked, “Unless you are a baron or a viscount? Tell me, Mr. Langford, have I been addressing you incorrectly? Are you an heir to great fortune and title?”
“Not of title and rank, but we have talked enough of serious matters. Shall we enjoy the evening? Shall we discuss nothing more pressing than what a delight it has been to be together as we are now?”
Sarah could not disagree, as she found she was unable to think on serious matters with him being so near to her. The feeling of warmth and excitement was tantalizing as she stared into his eyes.
“Miss Powell, there is something I wish to ask, something I have no right to expect from you, but I desire it. If I may?”
Sarah’s breathing became labored. Her heart was racing as she thought, dare she hope that this was the moment, this was the instant that he asked to kiss her? She had never felt a man’s lips on hers, though she often wondered what that must feel like. As she waited to hear him say it, to ask, she was trembling. Was she prepared to risk her reputation for a kiss from Mr. Langford?
But the question that was on his lips, the kiss never came. Jane came rushing into the drawing room, her face nearly as pale as the gown she was wearing. Interrupting the dream that Sarah was lost in, Jane did not waste a moment with pleasantries as she exclaimed, “Sarah, you must come with me at once. Mother is coming for you and if she finds you with here with Mr. Langford, she will dismiss you at once.”
“Dismiss me? Let her, what care do I have any more?” Sarah said, her gaze unbroken from the handsome face of her companion.
Mr. Langford stood abruptly, as Sarah’s hand fell to her lap, “Miss Powell, do not be so quick to leave your position on my account. Please, do as your cousin has asked.”
Shaking her head as if she was waking, Sarah looked from Mr. Langford to Jane as she tried to make sense of what was happening as she said, “Jane, what is the matter, why would I leave Mr. Langford?”
“I do not wish to say so, but you must come along. Mr. Langford, forgive me for my brusque manner. I mean no insult to you.”
“I understand, Miss Brookes, thank you. I apologize if I have caused any calamity to befall Miss Powell.”
“Your apology is accepted. Now, come along, Sarah, come with me.”
“No, I will not. Your mother had commanded me for the last time.”
“Miss Powell, go with your cousin, do not ruin your reference. We will meet again. You have my word,” he said as he bowed, kissing her hand.
Sarah did not understand why she must go, but she did as her cousin and Mr. Langford suggested. She felt her hand tingle where his lips had met the soft material of her glove. Tears fell down her cheeks as Jane rushed her upstairs, away from the drawing room and away from Mr. Langford. For what reason, she did not know but she feared she would soon find out.
Chapter Thirteen
“Your name could have been disgraced. I am astounded that you did not exercise better judgment,” Mrs. Brookes scolded Sarah.
Sarah could not bear to hear her aunt’s criticism when her heart was filled with agony and despair. All she had was the memory of what might have been at Hatherley as she sat in the opulently decorated but incredibly small sitting room at the vicarage in Cheltham.
“Another thing, as a companion to my daughters, your loss of character could have affected them. How would they find husbands if it was known their companion behaved amorally with a gentleman who is not received by any respectable family in London!”
“Mother, that is not quite true. He is well received among a certain set of peers,” Henry interjected on Mr. Langford’s behalf.
“Henry, silence!” hissed Mrs. Brookes as she directed a withering look in Sarah’s direction.
“Your mother agrees with me. I have taken the liberty of sending word to her, and I have her letter if you would like to read it. The very idea that you should make a spectacle of yourself in the home of the Baron Carmody with a man who we know almost nothing about. What little we do know of him is abominable.”
“It’s hardly abominable,” Katie spoke up, “His family is unknown to us, but that is not a crime. Mother, what you are accusing him of is ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous? If Lady Harrington had not been invited to the ball, she never would have set eyes on that scoundrel. He cheated and gambled her son’s money away from him at school. That Mr. Langford is a known card sharp. I have no idea how he has remained at the school when he has been responsible for the near ruin of many young men. Yet, his reputation for cards is not as terrible as what else she told me.”
Sighing, Sarah considered what she wished to do. Would she defend Mr. Langford when no understanding existed between them? She had planned to seek another position in the new year or else she would have already given her notice. She wondered how she would fare without a reference as she tired of her aunt’s tirade, especially after her aunt had ruined the ball and her perfect evening with her accusations.
Henry was not deterred as he said, “I know all about Charles and his card playing. He is no different than any of my classmates. Lady Harrington’s son lost his money to his creditors. He only lost fifty pounds to Charles, hardly a shocking amount. He must have blamed Charles for his vanishing funds.”
“That is not all she told me, I dare not repeat the other news. It was too scandalous for my dear Katie’s ears, but he ruined more than one lady’s reputation and
his family history is a secret. One is left to guess what evils may be lurking in his history.”
“He did not ruin any woman’s reputation that was not already suspect,” Henry replied.
“Henry, you are not persuading me or anyone else of his character. I am indebted to Lady Harrington for her honesty. If she had not been invited to the ball, I fear to think what may have happened if he had been seen in the company of Sarah for one more minute!”
Mrs. Brookes was seated on the sofa, exasperated as her children looked miserable, and Henry appeared disgusted. Sarah was silent, as she tried to understand all the horrible accusations. She could not reconcile them to the man she knew, who had been kind, treating her with dignity and respect.
“Your mother would be heartbroken if your name was entangled with such a man. Look at the circumstances of her life after she married your father, a man who never should have been introduced to her if I had my way about it.”
“But you didn’t have your way, did you?” Sarah asked, her patience finally at an end.
“I warned her not to marry a penniless man with no family, but she did it anyway. Look at you, you are the result. You are slovenly, lazy, you depend on my charity for your very wages. You were a failure as a governess, and now you have failed as a companion. I hoped you had taken after your mother, my own dear sister, but you have exhibited all of the qualities of that man she married. You have been as big a disappointment as he turned out to be.”
Sarah was on her feet, her despair, her sadness temporarily forgotten as she replied, “That man was my father.”
“Mother, perhaps it is time for you to see cook about the menu for the week,” Katie offered feebly as she looked stricken.
“It is not time for me to do anything but say what I wish to say. Your behavior during the summer was astounding, chasing after the Baron Carmody’s son but I forgave you. Then this affair, throwing yourself at Henry’s friend. You sought a man who gambles for his wage, who cheats the sons of our finest nobility of their money and ruins the names of women? Your behavior is intolerable, if I were not your aunt, I would dismiss you.”
