by Rose Pearson
“Yes, Miss Skelton?” Elsbeth asked, getting to her feet as she knew she was expected to, given that this was the lady in charge of the House for Girls. “What can I do for you?”
Miss Skelton, her black hair tied back into a tight bun, gave a small disparaging sniff. “What are you doing in the schoolroom, Elsbeth? The dinner gong has sounded, has it not?”
Elsbeth did not back down, nor feel ashamed of her tardiness. “I have every intention of coming to the dining hall the moment I have finished my letter,” she replied, calmly. “After all, was it not you yourself who told me that I was to leave this place just as soon as I could?” She tilted her head just a little, mousey brown curls tipping across her forehead as she did so. Her hair had always been the bane of her life, for she had such tight curls that it was almost impossible to keep them neat and tidy as she was expected to do.
Miss Skelton sniffed again. “That is no excuse, Elsbeth. I expect better from you.”
Elsbeth sighed inwardly, aware that Miss Skelton was almost always disappointed with her. Ever since she could remember, Miss Skelton had been a tall, imposing figure that gave her nothing but disparaging and cutting remarks, designed to bring down her confidence. Elsbeth had, in fact, learned how to stand against Miss Skelton’s venomous words, shutting down her emotions and closeting away her heart whenever the lady spoke.
“May I ask what letter it is you are writing?” Miss Skelton asked, her hands now clasped in front of her. Her long, grey dress with its high collar that hid most of her neck hung on her like a shroud, giving her an almost death-like appearance that Elsbeth hated so much.
“I have been responding to advertisements regarding governesses,” Elsbeth replied, with a slight lift of her chin. “Mrs. Banks has encouraged me in this and I intend to find a position very soon. I do hope that you will give me the references I require.” She lifted one eyebrow, a slight challenge in her voice as she waited for Miss Skelton to reply. Mrs. Banks, the lady who taught the girls everything from elocution to grammar, had encouraged Elsbeth in her hopes of making a life for herself outside of the Smithfield House for Girls. Mrs. Banks told her that she had all the knowledge and ability required to become a governess. In a recent spat with Miss Skelton, Elsbeth had been urged to leave the House for Girls as soon as she was able. Miss Skelton pointed out how frustrated she was that she could not throw Elsbeth out on her ear; the two things had come together to encourage Elsbeth to indeed depart. What she required of Miss Skelton was a reference to whichever one of her potential employers wrote back to her with further enquiry.
“I suppose I must,” Miss Skelton replied, her voice thin. “If it means that I can get you out of this place, then I will do all I can to help you.”
Elsbeth found herself smiling, feeling as though she had won victory. “Thank you, Miss Skelton. It is much appreciated, I am sure.” Turning her back on the lady, she sat down again and continued to compose her letter, hearing Miss Skelton’s mutter of frustration before she left the room.
Breathing a small sigh of relief, Elsbeth let her pen drift over the page, writing the same words she had written on three other occasions. Her desire to become a governess was growing with every day that she had to spend here. Even though it was the only home she had ever known, it was slowly beginning to suffocate her.
The Smithfield House for Girls was right next to the bustling Smithfield Market, but was in direct contrast to the happiness and warmth that came from there. Elsbeth often spent time looking out of her window to the market place, finding her heart filled with both happiness and pain, wishing that she could have the same joys that was in the faces of so many of those who came to the market. They laughed and smiled more than anyone ever did in the House for Girls, mostly due to the fact that Miss Skelton was neither happy nor joyful.
Lost in thought for a moment, Elsbeth looked up from her page and let her gaze drift towards the window. Whilst her life had not been altogether bad thus far, the question about where she had come from and why she was here had always dogged her mind. Miss Skelton had never said a word, other than to state that her living allowances had been paid for – and continued to be paid for – year after year. That was why she could never throw Elsbeth out onto the street, since money was sent specifically for Elsbeth’s upkeep. Elsbeth could still remember the day she had asked Miss Skelton who sent the money, only for the door to be shut in her face. That had been the day she had begun to dislike Miss Skelton intensely. Elsbeth was frustrated that the woman would not give her any information despite seeing the it upset her to have no knowledge of her birth.
Elsbeth had quietly resigned herself to the fact that she would never know, not unless her father or mother came looking for her. It was an agony that would never fully disappear from her heart, the pain of not understanding why she had been sent here as a baby. Why had her parents had turned her over to Miss Skelton instead of keeping her to raise themselves? She did not understand why Miss Skelton would not speak to her about the matter, did not understand why she would not even explain why she would not do so. That, however, was a burden Elsbeth knew she simply had to bear. Miss Skelton was not about to change her mind, in the same way that she was not about to become a warm and kind-hearted lady who cared about the charges in the House she ran.
That being said, Elsbeth knew that most of the girls here were from noblemen or gentlemen who had chosen to have a tryst outside of wedlock or outside their marriages. It was more than obvious that this was the case, for the girls were trained in all manner of gentle arts, instead of simply being fed and given a place to sleep as they would have done in the poorhouse. There were standards here, standards that both she and the others were expected to meet. Most of them might never know their fathers nor their mothers, but at least their chance at a decent life was much greater than if they’d been left at the poorhouse. There were varying choices for them in their futures – although most would become governesses or teachers in places such as these. Some would become seamstresses, others perhaps marry. Elsbeth winced as she recalled that the annual ball was due to take place in two days’ time – a chance for the girls who were out to take part in a small gathering where gentlemen in the lower classes could attend in case they were in need of a wife…. or, perhaps, a mistress. She was revolted at the thought, her eyes closing tightly as she fought against the urge to run away from it all. Being now of age, she had no other choice but to attend, even though she was already responding to advertisements for governesses. Whilst Miss Skelton wanted to be rid of her, Elsbeth knew that it would be in any way she could, which included the ball and a potential husband.
Not that the gentlemen who attended were in any way nobility. They were mostly baronets, knights, and the like, who were looking for a wife who could fulfill all their requirements whilst still being of decent standing. In addition, Elsbeth knew that many of the girls had a large dowry set aside for them, although none knew from where it had come. That was what brought such gentlemen to the ball, for even though there might be some murmuring over marriages to girls from the Smithfield House for Girls, a gentleman could overlook it should there be a large enough dowry.
Elsbeth had not thought to ask about herself, and was, therefore, quite unaware of any dowry she might have. Perhaps there would be a way for her to hide from most of the gentlemen on the evening of the ball, regardless of whether she had a dowry or not. She did not wish to marry. She wanted to experience life outside of this place, a life where she could earn her own living and make her own way if she chose. Marriage was just another four walls around her, keeping her in line.
Sighing heavily, Elsbeth finished writing her letter, sanded it carefully and then folded it up, ready to be posted.
“Please,” she whispered, holding the letter carefully in her hand. “Please, let this be the way out of here. Let me find a new life, far away from Smithfield, London and Miss Skelton. Please.” Closing her eyes tightly, she sent her prayer heavenwards before rising from her chair and
making her way to the dining room. All she could do now was wait.
Chapter One
The following afternoon found Elsbeth finishing her embroidery piece, feeling rather pleased with herself. Embroidery had not come naturally to her and yet here she was, finishing off her final piece.
“Wonderful, Elsbeth!” Mrs. Banks exclaimed, coming to sit by her. “You should be very pleased with your work.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Banks,” Elsbeth replied, with a chuckle. “Although I will say that I do not understand how anyone can find any kind of enjoyment from such a thing.”
Mrs. Banks smiled back, her plump face warm and friendly. “Then I should tell you that I do not particularly enjoy it myself, but it is a useful skill to have when one is seeking a husband.”
Elsbeth suppressed a shudder. “Thank goodness I am not doing so.”
Mrs. Banks nodded slowly. “The ball is tomorrow night. Did Miss Skelton speak to you about it?”
A niggle of worry tugged at Elsbeth’s mind. “No, she did not. Why?”
For a moment, Mrs. Banks looked away, her lips thinning and Elsbeth felt herself grow tense.
“You have a large dowry, Elsbeth. I am surprised Miss Skelton has not spoken to you about this before now.”
Elsbeth shook her head, firmly. “I do not care. I will not marry.”
“I know, I know,” Mrs. Banks said softly, putting one gentle hand on Elsbeth’s. “But Miss Skelton will be sharing that news with whichever gentlemen show an interest in you at the ball. You must be prepared for that.”
Elsbeth felt ice grip her heart, making her skin prickle. “I do not want to marry,” she whispered, her embroidery now sitting uselessly on her lap, completely forgotten. “I know Miss Skelton wishes to get rid of me, but I cannot bring myself to preen in front of eligible gentlemen in the hope of matrimony! I want a life for myself.”
Mrs. Banks gave her a small reassuring smile, one hand reaching out to rest on her shoulder. “And I am sure you will receive a return to your letters very soon,” she replied, calmly, “but you must be aware of what Miss Skelton intends to do. Your dowry is very large, Elsbeth. You have clearly come from a wealthy family.”
Putting her head in her hands, Elsbeth battled frustration. So much money, just out of reach. With it, she could do whatever she pleased, set up a life for herself wherever she wanted.
“Although….”
Her head jerked up as she saw Mrs. Banks look from one place to the next, her eyes a little concerned.
“Although?” Elsbeth repeated, encouraging the lady. “Although what, Mrs. Banks?”
Mrs. Banks paused for a moment before shaking her head. “Never mind. It is not something I should say.”
Knowing that Mrs. Banks was the closest thing she had to a friend, Elsbeth reached across and took her hand. “Please, Mrs. Banks, tell me whatever it was you were going to say. I feel so lost already. Anything you can tell me will help.” Her blue eyes searched Mrs. Banks’ face, desperate to know what the lady was holding back.
“I should not be telling you this, Elsbeth,” Mrs. Banks replied quietly, “but I have seen how miserable you are here and how Miss Skelton treats you. I am sorry for that. You are a free spirit and she, being as tight-laced as she is, does not understand that. She has never wanted to nurture you, she has simply wanted to contain you, and I cannot hold with that.”
A lump in her throat, Elsbeth squeezed Mrs. Banks’ hand. “I know,” she replied, quietly. “I have valued your teaching and your friendship over the years.”
Mrs. Banks drew in a long breath, her shoulders settling as she came to a decision. “As have I,” she said, with a great deal more firmness. “Then I shall tell you the truth about your dowry. If you do not marry before you are twenty-one years of age, then the dowry, in all its entirety, goes to you.”
Elsbeth gaped at her, her world slowly beginning to spin around her.
“Just think of it, Elsbeth,” Mrs. Banks continued softly, her voice warm. “You need only be a governess for three or four years before you will be truly free. If you are careful, I believe you will have enough to live on for the rest of your days.”
Elsbeth could not breathe, her chest constricting. She could hardly believe it, could hardly take it all in, and yet she knew that what Mrs. Banks was saying was the truth. She would not lie to her.
“Why has Miss Skelton never spoken to me about this?” she asked hoarsely, as Mrs. Banks squeezed her hand. “I could have stayed here until….”
“You have answered your own question,” Mrs. Banks replied, sadly. “Miss Skelton wants you gone from her establishment and she thought that, in telling you the truth, you would be filled with the urge to remain. There will be funds aplenty until you reach the age of twenty-one, for I am certain that Miss Skelton told me that whoever it is that pays for your board here would do so until either you are wed, or you are twenty-one.”
Elsbeth shook her head, fervently. “That cannot be the case. Miss Skelton told me that I must find a place soon as the money that pays for me will soon cease.”
“Another lie, I’m afraid,” Mrs. Banks said softly, as Elsbeth felt her heart break all over again. “For whatever reason, Miss Skelton is desperate to have you gone from this place. She forbade me to speak of it to you but I knew I could not keep the truth from you. It is too great a truth to have hidden away. It would have been wrong of me to keep it to myself.”
Elsbeth drew in breath after breath, her mind whirling as she tried her best to think calmly and clearly about all that had been revealed to her. Miss Skelton had always disliked her but to hide such an enormous truth from her cut Elsbeth to the bone.
“You will have your freedom one day soon,” Mrs. Banks promised, putting her arm around her as Elsbeth leaned into her shoulder, just as she might have done with her mother. “Just a few more years.”
Trying not to cry, Elsbeth buried her face into Mrs. Banks shoulder. “I do not think I can endure any more time here.”
“Then be a governess,” Mrs. Banks replied, with a small shrug. “Do whatever you wish, whatever you can until you reach twenty-one. And do not marry a gentleman, whatever you do. I know Miss Skelton is hopeful, but I would encourage you to find a way not to attend the ball tomorrow evening or, at the very least, make yourself as inconspicuous as possible.”
Caught by a sudden thought, Elsbeth lifted her head. “You will not get yourself into trouble with Miss Skelton over this? I would hate for you to lose your position.”
Mrs. Banks smiled softly, patting Elsbeth’s cheek. “You are so caring, my dear. And no, so long as you do not reveal it to her then I think all will be well. Besides which, I do not think that Miss Skelton would dare fire me from this position – for who would she find to replace me? Her reputation as a hard woman, with little care or consideration for anyone but herself is well known.” She tipped her head, her eyes alive with mirth. “Do you truly think that she would be able to find another worker with any kind of ease?”
Elsbeth had to laugh, despite her confusion and astonishment. “No, I do not think she would.”
“Then you need not worry,” Mrs. Banks replied, with a broad smile. “Now, off with you. Go and see if there are any letters that need to be posted so that you might take a turn about the London streets. It might help you think a little more clearly.”
“I am rather overwhelmed,” Elsbeth admitted, shaking her head. “Thank you for telling me so much, Mrs. Banks. I am indebted to you.”
Mrs. Banks smiled again, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. “I shall miss you, when it comes time for you to leave, Elsbeth,” she said quietly. “You will promise to write to me, whatever happens?”
Bending down to kiss Mrs. Banks’ cheeks, Elsbeth pressed her hands for a moment. “Of course I will, Mrs. Banks. You have made my life so much better here and I will always be grateful for your love and your care for me. Thank you.”
Chapter Two
Whilst there were no letters to be sen
t, there was, according to the housekeeper who did the bidding of Miss Skelton, a need for Elsbeth to adorn the front of the House for Girls with flowers. Apparently, it was a reminder to all the gentlemen who had been invited that the ball was to happen tomorrow evening. Elsbeth did not quite understand given that so many of them had already sent their replies to confirm that, yes, they were to attend tomorrow evening’s festivities.
Regardless, Elsbeth did as the housekeeper directed without making even a murmur of protest, thinking that to be outside instead of kept within the House would possibly give her the time she needed to think about all that Mrs. Banks had said. She was in no doubt that Miss Skelton had not said as much to her as regards her dowry and the wonderful age of twenty-one when she would attain her freedom, simply because she did not want Elsbeth to remain in the House for Girls. There had always been something about Elsbeth that Miss Skelton disliked, and now she was making it even more apparent that she did not care for her in the slightest. Whilst Elsbeth knew that she was, as Mrs. Banks had said, a free spirit flying in the face of Miss Skelton’s harsh and firmly aligned ways, there had never been any other explanation as to why the lady had taken such a dislike to her. From her earliest memories, Elsbeth could recall Miss Skelton being dismissive and disinterested in her whilst being a little more jovial to the other girls. That had only bred anger and resentment in Elsbeth, who had grown more than a little frustrated with the lady’s continued dislike of her; so, in her own way, she had done all she could to battle against the lady’s hostility, to the point that she knew exactly what to say and do t0 bring her the most frustration.
Perhaps it was a little childish, Elsbeth reflected, as she picked up the basket which held the brightly colored flowers and the string with which she could tie bunches to the railings that surrounded the House for Girls. Then again, she had been a child for a very long time and only in the last few years had begun the journey towards adulthood. Miss Skelton had never changed, and Elsbeth had felt herself shrinking away from her more and more. She often sought the friendship and understanding of Mrs. Banks, a mother figure to all the orphan girls, and did not think she would have survived life here without her.
