“OK. What do you remember?” She wasn’t sure she should tell him everything. Not that it mattered anymore.
He met her eyes and licked his lips. “I remember you guys undressing each other and kissing. Then I was on top of one of you. I knew Amy wanted to use a dildo or something on you. She told me to fuck you. Did I?”
He knew that she became upset anytime he asked about the night. That told him something had happened that she didn’t want him to know.
“I wanted you to,” she admitted. “But you wouldn’t without my consent.”
He nodded. That made sense. “OK, so then did you get naked?”
“Yes.”
“Did I get to touch you?”
“Some.”
He growled. “Stop being cryptic. What did I do that you don’t wanna tell me?” Her eyes showed her embarrassment. Only one thing came to mind. “Damn, you knew I came in my pants. Didn’t you?”
Her cheeks reddened. “Um, well… yes, but that’s not it.” She took a deep breath. “You fingered me to orgasm and… kinda rubbed on me until I came, too.” Her eyes drifted down as the night flashed before her.
“I did?” He grinned madly. “Do I make you cum every time I get drunk?”
Many scenes went through her mind. “Yes.” She didn’t see the point in hiding it again.
“That’s not it.” He studied her face. “Was Amy naked?”
She nodded. “Wait. I think she was.” Her memory became a bit fuzzy at the end of the night. “She used that toy on me.”
“Oh damn.” He bit his bottom lip. “While I was passed out?” Her expression told her he was right. “Anything else happen?”
Crystal took a deep breath. It felt good to finally tell him. She had held that night a secret for years. “Nothing I can remember. I think we both passed out a few times.” A knock on the door made her jump. “I should go. Giovanni’s mom is waiting on us.”
“You guys OK in there?” Giovanni seethed.
Chad opened the door. “Still just talking. Actually just finished.” He glanced up at Giovanni. “Can we hang out sometime this week?”
“We’ll see.” Giovanni’s tone was laced with jealousy. He knew that he had to relax or Crystal would know he still had trust issues. “We have a few things planned before New Year’s. Maybe we can go out to dinner one night.”
Disappointed, Chad wanted to tell Crystal, “I told you so.” He could tell things would change even more after they were married. It was his worst fear that he would lose her after their wedding. He nearly jumped when she hugged him and squeezed him tight.
“I’ll talk to him,” she mumbled into his chest.
He wove his fingers in her hair and sighed. “OK.”
“Merry Christmas.” She reached up and kissed his chin. When he leaned down, she brushed her lips over his cheek. “I’ll call you later.”
Without a thought, he whispered in her ear, “I love you, my baby girl. I always will.”
He stood there unable to move as she walked away. His chest constricted with an ache for her. When he was sure she was gone, he glanced in the mirror. “You need to get your shit together. They’re not breaking up. You lost.”
It was hard to admit, but he needed to accept it before the wedding. She needed him as her best friend but not her lover. He wasn’t sure how they could get back what they had years ago.
In high school and college, he had dated because he knew she could never love him. Since they had first slept together, he had hope. That died when she told him they could never have sex again. When he was deep inside her, he felt her love.
CHAPTER FOUR
The call seemed so familiar. Crystal screamed on the other end, but Chad couldn’t understand her. Then her voice became clearer. “He’s gonna rape me!”
His heart pounded as he raced back to her apartment building. Her screams broke his heart. He had no idea what he would find when he finally arrived. It didn’t matter. He assured her that he was on his way.
Her screams echoed in the hallway. Doesn’t anyone hear her? On the verge of panic and furious that someone had the gall to go after his baby, he raced up the stairs to her place.
The door was open slightly. Her screams were louder. Then they escalated even more, and he felt her pain. He shoved the door open and froze.
A man was over her naked body, pumping his hips. Tears ran down her cheeks, and she continued to scream. Then she called out his name. He rushed forward and watched him raping her for a few seconds. This is not happening. His mind went blank.
*** ♫♪♫♪ ***
In a cold sweat, Chad jolted to a seated position. That nightmare always freaked him out. He’d had it more often soon after her attack. Lately, it only hit him when he was emotional.
He took a deep breath and reminded himself that it was only a dream. That was not how things had actually played out. Thank God I got there in time.
Slowly, he dragged his body to the bathroom and splashed water on his face. It was still the middle of the night, but he needed to let the dream go.
The usual fixes didn’t help. Her fear remained in his heart. It was something he would never forget, the fear in her scream. That night had changed them both.
He crawled back in bed and thought about the day before. After Crystal and Giovanni had left, he hung out with his family for a while.
Then he went home and blasted music while he cleaned. His mind stayed on her, though. He had to find a way to let her go yet still keep her as his best friend. It wouldn’t be easy.
As he tried to fall back to sleep, his mind filled with memories again. His own bed was the location for most of them.
Crystal had slept in it more times than he could count. He always woke up with a smile on his face when she was in his arms. It had been quite a while since that had happened.
Flashes of the night he had gone dancing with Crystal and Giovanni made him smile. Then he felt her beneath him in their guest room. He had fucked her as if things hadn’t changed.
She had called out his name in her own drunken stupor. That had made him believe things were normal again.
The alcohol had twisted reality. When he had woken up naked with a hangover, he reached out for her. She was gone. He had thrown on a pair of boxers and took a trip to the bathroom.
Then she screamed, and he ran to her. He had found them naked in bed. Guilt had filled him when he had found out it was his fault that she had a nightmare.
He shook it off and thought back to before they were lovers. Maybe if I was her first… or if she were mine… then things would be different.
He frowned. That would have been complicated. He had hurt her when they had sex for the first time. It had been obvious.
If he had been her first, she would likely have been in agony. That didn’t stop his mind from imagining it had happened without pain. Maybe I could have found a way to make it easier for her. Break her in slow. Stop dreaming and face facts. She’s lost to you.
*** ♫♪♫♪ ***
Hours later, Chad walked into the building in Philadelphia that housed his day job. KDS did much more than host websites. They had many business solutions, and Chad was their main programmer and their only full time hardware support person.
He was on call 24/7, but they paid him well enough that he took it in stride. To avoid unnecessary disasters, he checked the server room twice a day and had alerts set up to email him anytime an error occurred.
His dedication to the company had earned him several raises and bonuses since he had started there right after graduating college.
His favorite part of the job was designing custom websites. He had used Triple Threat’s website as part of his portfolio when he had interviewed. They were quite impressed by it.
He had been creating websites for others since high school, so he was quite seasoned.
After he had hung up his coat and set his laptop bag on his desk, he sighed. He had not gotten enough sleep the night before. Even coffee at ho
me had not helped.
They had an expresso machine in the kitchen, among other things. That was his next stop. Caffeine was a necessary evil at times.
That day, he had dressed in jeans and a polo shirt. Usually, he wore dress pants with a shirt and tie.
That week the dress code was lax, since no client meetings were scheduled. He also planned maintenance on all the production servers. That would mean he’d likely get dirty.
As soon as he felt more human, he set his phone to play music and headed to the server room. He smiled at his intern, Ben. “Ready to do this today?”
“Definitely.” Ben smiled. “This will look great on my resume.”
Chad had also taken an internship in college. He had learned a lot from the IT guys at the local cable company.
They had chosen him because he had taken every IT certification test that was offered. He had suggested the same to Ben, since he was enrolled in Southwest New Jersey University, Chad’s alma mater.
“What band is that?” Ben was used to Chad playing music while they worked.
“Dragonforce, ‘Defenders,’” Chad answered. Tommy Fisher of Gasoline had turned him on to the symphonic metal band. “My favorite song by them.”
Ben nodded as Chad unlocked the first rack of servers. “Maybe I’ll check them out.”
As they worked, Chad explained each step before it was done and why they were doing it. He liked to teach.
Every part-time tech or programmer had to shadow him before they were able to have their first project. Most were surprised to find out that he was only 23.
When they had a few systems running updates, Chad led Ben to the bench against the wall. “We have three new clients to add who want their own dedicated clusters.”
“A cluster is a group of servers, right?” Ben had just started Enterprise classes that year.
Chad nodded. “Yes. That way you have redundancy in case of disaster. We do everything that way. You never know what can happen. Not all the clients listen to me, though. Redundancy can never be considered a backup. Remember that. Too many people come here after they lost everything with no backup plan. Good thing I have a friend in the recovery business.”
Ben liked how Chad explained things. “So what do we do when something goes down?”
“I get an email from the monitoring system and then I see if I can remote in. If not, I drive over here.” Chad waved to the boxes on the bench. “We get a warranty on everything that allows us to get parts quickly. Once in a while, we order a tech as well. Mostly on days I’m busy. Customers like peace of mind.”
While Ben unboxed a new server, he glanced at Chad. “Is your band playing anywhere close by this week?”
“Nah, not until after the new year.” Chad knew Ben was a fan, but he was glad it rarely came up. “Our schedule’s posted on our site.”
That made Ben recall the photos page. “That chick Crystal is hot. Is it true she’s dating your drummer?”
“Yep.” Chad hoped that was the end.
No such luck. “Do you know if they swing?” Ben was truly curious. “I heard that was popular in the music world. Or is that just a rumor?”
“They don’t, but a few couples I know do.” Chad sighed. “This one has a broken bezel.” He set the server and box aside. “I’ll show you how to use the online self-dispatch system when we check the rest of them.”
CHAPTER FIVE
With shaky hands, Chad held his phone that evening. He was quite sure Maggie had said seven when they had talked on the phone, but his brain was only semi-functional.
Nerves had gotten the best of him. He debated on canceling the date altogether.
For the past few days, they had talked on the phone extensively. As promised, she listened to him vent about Crystal. She had asked him many personal questions as well. Some of those he refused to answer so soon.
However, she didn’t offer much about herself. All he really knew was that she was a year younger than him at 22, and she worked at a clothing boutique.
Memories of the day he had met Maggie flooded his mind. He had finally gotten a night alone with Crystal. Since she had gone back to Giovanni, they rarely spent time without him.
He smiled when he saw Crystal on his bed in his mind’s eye. They had a great time that night. Although, it really shouldn’t have happened. Stop thinking of fucking Crystal!
He shook his head to clear it. Then he thought about earlier that same night. At first, he had been annoyed that Maggie interrupted them for an autograph.
Crystal’s reaction had told him it had been a good thing. He had to move on. What better way than with a girl that Crystal approved of?
Maggie’s blonde hair had seemed unnatural, but sometimes so did his. Many people asked who did his hair. He didn’t understand it. All the work he had to do to tame his blonde curls drove him crazy some days. Why would anyone do this to their hair on purpose?
His heart beat faster as he imagined he had been wrong about the girl. What if she turns out to be like all the other groupies? He knew he couldn’t handle that. His love for Crystal had kept him celibate, except with her.
He had only tried once to have sex with someone else. Drunk and brokenhearted, he couldn’t obtain an erection to get the deed done. Some days, he wondered if his body would ever let him move on.
Suddenly, his phone chimed. He swiped the screen and took a deep breath.
Can we change the time to 7:30? My dog just knocked over two of my plants. Sorry.
He grinned. She has a dog? I love dogs. He quickly replied:
It’s fine. I’ll be there at 7:30.
Relief washed over him. That meant he had 30 extra minutes to get his act together. Since he had not dated in a few years, he felt out of practice.
Do I kiss her hello or goodbye? He thought back to other first dates he had been on. They had varied greatly. I’ll just go with what feels right.
For the next hour, he had kept himself busy with cleaning. Once in a while, he would stop and stare at something that reminded him of Crystal. She wants me to move on. That thought helped him remember why he had agreed to the date.
At that moment, his eyes were glued to a framed picture of him and Crystal. For so many years, they had done nearly everything together. He knew things would never be that way again. It was difficult to imagine his life without her close.
They had taken the photo at a carnival. It had triggered memories of that day, more than a year prior. He smiled as he saw her laughing. They had a real good time that night.
He had hoped she would be up for sex in the funhouse. However, her fear of the dark had overshadowed his desire.
With a shake of his head, he let the memories go. Thoughts of Crystal would not make the night any easier. He grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and downed it in several pulls. That helped some.
He was sure he had gotten her off his mind for the night, until he walked under the shower spray. Visions of her in there with him plagued him. He had fucked her many times in that very spot. Not gonna happen again.
Just as he stepped out of the bathroom, his phone rang. He was surprised when it wasn’t Maggie. “’Sup, Phil?”
“Whatcha doing tonight?” Phil was bored. He was half of Triple Threat’s crew.
Chad frowned. “I got a date.”
“Wait. You mean a date, date. As in with a real live chick?” Phil couldn’t believe his ears.
With a roll of his eyes, Chad replied, “Yes a real live woman. I’m not allowed to date?” What is it with these guys? He had a similar conversation with their vocalist, Chris Bradley, that night as well.
“It’s a miracle!” Phil shouted. “Finally! You better get some tonight. If she’s a fan, it’ll be easy. You need to get laid, bad.”
Chad growled, “Fuck you, man. This’s why I didn’t tell you.” He was sick of everyone trying to hook him up. “I’m not having sex on the first date.”
“Come on, dude.” Phil shook his head, disappointed. “It’
s easy. You seduce her with your boyish charm. Then you show her that big dick, and she’ll be putty in your arms.”
“Not gonna happen.” Chad’s friends frustrated him sometimes. “I gotta go.”
Phil sighed. “Can I go pick up a chick and tag along? I wanna see you in action.”
“Bye.” Chad disconnected the call and tossed the phone on his bed.
*** ♫♪♫♪ ***
“Hey!” Maggie almost jumped for joy when Chad arrived at her door.
She had a crush on him for quite a while, but she had not been bold enough to talk to him until that night at the pool hall. He hadn’t seemed as approachable as the others in his band.
“Come on in.” His baby blue eyes made her heart flutter with excitement.
He hesitated. “Uh… I didn’t lock the van.” He glanced around. “Um… this is my first date in a long time. I’m kinda nervous.”
“Don’t be.” She laid a hand on his chest and held back a giggle. The January cold was forgotten since he had her on fire. “Let me get my coat and my purse.”
When she was back, he asked, “Where do you want to go?”
“How about cosmic bowling?” She smiled widely.
Surprised at her simple suggestion, he shrugged. “Sure.” He was startled when she took his arm. “OK, I’m a lot nervous.”
“It’s fine. We’ll play, talk and get to know each other. No pressure.”
That made him let out a long exhale of relief. He waved a hand to the space in front of him. “Shall we go?” He gave her a nervous smile. When she passed him, he realized she was quite tall for a woman. That was a good thing, since he was 6’4”.
*** ♫♪♫♪ ***
When they walked into the bowling alley, arm in arm, Chad groaned. He hadn’t thought about the noise level. Since school wasn’t in session, the place was packed.
Chasing Chad Page 3
