by Beck, J. L.
In an instant, I become someone else. Just like that, my switch flips. I turn into a darker version of myself, a version that feeds on the pain she caused me. I loved her, trusted her, and she betrayed all of that. She betrayed me.
I’ll never forget the way she looked at me that day, the image is ingrained into my mind. She looked so sad and confused as her family drove off my parents’ estate. I wanted to hurt her, crush her like a fly, but I refrained. Being content with sending her away and never seeing her again. My silence over her betrayal was enough for me.
She knew what she had done, there was no coming back from that kind of lie. I tried to reason with myself, tried to say there was no way it was true, but the proof was there. In black and white.
“Who is she?” Parker asks, pulling me out of the haze I was in.
“She’s no one,” I snap, showing more of my true colors than I intended.
“Dude, she’s obviously someone. I’ve never seen your face change so quickly. It was almost like you were seeing a ghost.”
I force a smile, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it looks more like a snarl. “That’s because I was. She’s no one, nothing. Forget you saw her.” I don’t want Parker to get involved in this. Not wanting to talk about it with my best friend any longer, I jump up from my seat and head toward Harper.
Everything around me fades away, the clanking of lunch dishes, the gossiping girls I pass on my way over to her. All I can see is her. I zero in on Harper, like she is the only person in this large room.
Just as I get within earshot, she turns again, almost as if she’s sensed me coming. Her entire body goes rigid, and she takes a tiny step backward.
I almost smile. Be afraid. Be very afraid. My muscles burn with energy, and my fingers itch to touch her. Will I hurt her?
“What the hell are you doing here?” I growl.
“I-I go to s-school here,” she stutters, holding onto her backpack strap like her life depends on it.
“No, you’re not,” I order. Circling her arm with my fingers, I pull her out of the cafeteria and through the doors that lead out to the garden, keeping my hold tight.
“Let me go,” she whisper-yells, her eyes darting around the room like someone might see and help her. Doesn’t she know, no one will save her? That no one in this school can touch me or any of the other guys in our little group? Probably not, but she will, soon enough. Ignoring her struggles, I push forward, tugging her through the black double doors and outside. Eyes burn over my skin as we walk out, but it doesn’t bother me. I don’t give a flying fuck if the whole school knows what’s going on.
By the time I’m done with her, her reputation, and whatever rumor is spread after this will be the least of her worries.
“Warren, stop, you’re hurting me.” So sweet, so soft, and sing-song like. That voice, it used to be able to get me to do anything, but now, I just want to wrap my hands around her throat and get her to stop talking. Get the memories of us out of my mind.
Tugging her through the grass, I stop once we reach one of the sitting areas next to the vine-covered brick wall. She trips over her feet, nearly falling to the ground before catching herself. She looks up at me, her eyes wide, her chest rising and falling rapidly, I can see her pulse throbbing in her throat.
“You think this hurts?” I squeeze her arm a little tighter before shoving it away. Then like a lion, I stalk toward her. She, of course, takes a step back until she’s reached the wall, leaving herself nowhere to go. I hold back a bitter laugh. She’s making this too easy.
“W-what are you doing?” Her lips quiver as I place my hands flat against the wall behind her. Caging her in, I invade her personal space, giving her no room to breathe. No place to hide. Nowhere to run. She shivers, and I love the sight of her scared and weak. Her sweet floral scent assaults my nostrils, and I force myself to breathe through my mouth.
“You made a big mistake coming here. This is my turf. You need to leave and don’t fucking come back. One warning, Harper, that’s all you’re getting.” I shouldn’t even give her that, but I’m feeling generous, feeling like giving her an out.
She shakes her head, and silky brown strands of hair fall into her face, “I have a scholarship to go to this school. I can’t just leave. And what does it matter? How was I supposed to know that you would be here?”
My jaw ticks, she has a fucking backbone. Yet, another thing I’ll take pleasure in breaking if she stupidly decides to stay.
“I don’t give a shit about how you got here; all I care about is making you disappear. You need to leave. Now.”
Shoving against my chest, she tries to push past me. “Get out of the way.” Even through the shirt I’m wearing, her touch burns my skin. Her push just moves me closer to the edge. Determined to get my point across, I grab both her wrists and shove them against her chest, holding them there.
“Leave, and I’ll forget that you ever showed your face here. Stay, and I’ll break you so badly you’ll leave a shell of the person you are now. Either way, you’re going to leave.”
She visibly gulps, her throat bobbing, and I want to trace that delicate throat of hers, feel the flutter of her heartbeat under my fingers.
Digging deep, she stands a little straighter and fights against my hold. “You’re insane, I’m not leaving, and you can’t make me. We don’t even know each other anymore, and me being here has no effect on you. Now let go of me before I report you to the campus police.”
I laugh right in her face, “Do it. That would be hilarious.”
“What happened to you?” she whispers the words so soft I’m sure she didn’t intend to speak them out loud.
Leaning into her face, I keep an inch of space between our faces. “I don’t think I’m required to tell you a single fucking thing. But because you asked so nicely, I’ll tell you. What happened to me was you. I want you gone.” I bare my teeth. I want to bite her and mark her skin.
“I’m not leaving, Warren.” The way she says my name, all breathless and shit, it does something to me. It’s like she is poking the monster inside of me. Awakening it with nothing but her voice.
I don’t even think, all I do is react. Releasing her hands, I slam my fist into the brick beside her head, nearly hitting her in the process, and I use my other hand to grip her chin between two fingers. I pinch hard, and the blood swooshes in my ears when I see her wince. I should feel something, anything, but I don’t. The idea of hurting her...it only makes my cock harder, makes the blood in my veins heat.
“You know what this means then, don’t you?” I seethe, barely restraining myself. Her full bee-stung lips are right in front of me, begging to be kissed.
Wide-eyed, she shakes her head once more, and her chin wobbles in my grasp, giving away her fear. Good, I want her to be afraid. I want her a trembling mess beneath my feet. Looking at her once more, I memorize her body, dragging my predatory gaze over her. I want to strip her bare and fuck her until she screams.
No. I roar internally. I can’t let her get under my skin. I can’t give in to my weaknesses.
“I’m going to break you, crush you until you’re begging me to take mercy on your pitiful body.” Releasing her chin, I turn and stalk off, knowing that if I don’t, I might do something I’ll regret. I want to scare her, hurt her, but not physically. I fist my hands so tightly that my fingernails dig into my palm, probably piercing through the skin. I don’t care though. The pain is just what I need to continue onward.
With each step I take away from her, my blood cools a little more, and my mind clears. Slowly, I return to the Warren everyone knows me as; the all American boy with a panty-melting smile and enough charm to leave the ladies dazed and confused.
Revenge. I’ll get my revenge, but first, I need to get some information on her. Find out what will make her disappear as fast as she came here.
23
Harper
With the back of my hand, I wipe some sweat off my forehead as I finish unpacking the very last bo
x. Finally. It took me long enough. Then again, considering I moved my entire life without having any help, I guess I didn’t do so bad after all.
My one-room apartment is small and shabby, but it’s mine. By one room, I don’t mean one bedroom, plus a kitchen, and a living room. No, I mean one room all together, and no, it’s not a huge space either. It’s only ten by fifteen square feet. It’s a little better than a jail cell. My bed is in one corner, while a desk and chair are in the other. Next to the entrance door is a tiny kitchenette with a two-plate stove, a mini-fridge, and a microwave.
The only other room that is part of the apartment is the attached bathroom, which is just big enough to hold a sink, a shower stall, and a toilet. Did I mention the tiles in that said bathroom are green and pink? Yeah, I know, disgusting.
I’ve put everything into unpacking over the last couple of hours so that I didn’t have to think about the events of earlier today. Shivers wrack my body as I recall the darkness in his eyes, the hate that pulsed just below like lava bubbling up to the surface. I could feel it, it coated the air, making it hard for me to breathe.
“I’m going to break you, crush you until you’re begging me to take mercy on your pitiful body.” His words wash over me, playing on repeat in my mind like a never-ending song. Moving away from the box, I sag down onto my bed, the mattress squeaking as I do.
Warren is here. I don’t think that reality has sunk in yet. And he hates me, really hates me, and I don’t understand why. What have I done to him? The last time I saw him, we were sixteen, and I was in the back of my parents’ car driving away from his family’s mansion. For years, I wondered why he never said goodbye, how he could go from caring about me so much, to despising me in the blink of an eye.
I thought maybe it was the fact that I was the maid’s daughter, but that never seemed to bother him. Maybe he changed his mind? My parents always warned me, told me that we would never work out, his family had money, and mine had nothing. I didn’t listen. I loved Warren, and I thought he loved me. Pfft, what a lie that was.
Seeing him today awakened feelings in me I’ve tried to forget for years. In fact, I’ve tried to forget him altogether, but I never could. I tried to date but never made it past a first kiss. That’s usually when I realized that the guy wouldn’t ever measure up to Warren.
I kept waiting for that spark, that excitement I used to get when kissing Warren, but it never came with anyone else, and I’m not sure if it ever will. Which means I’ll never feel that spark again since Warren clearly has no interest in ever being with me again. I don’t know why, but that bothers me. I shouldn’t still want him, but I do. Like a moth drawn to a flickering flame, I don’t care about burning, if it gets me a little closer to him.
Absentmindedly, my hand comes up to my face, and my fingers brush over my chin, where he touched me earlier. The skin there still tingles, like he has left a part of himself behind. Branded my skin with his touch. The thought sends a rush of euphoric need through me. I still want him, even though I shouldn’t.
Shaking the thought of him away, I roll over and reach under my bed, feeling around for my special box. When my fingers touch the smooth edge of the shoe box, I grab it and pull it out.
Still halfway hanging off the bed, I open the lid and look at my small but diverse collection of dildos and vibrators. The miniature purple one has always been my favorite. It’s small but packs quite the vibrating punch. And that’s what I need right now. Something that will kick Warren right out of my mind and make my toes curl in the process.
With a smile on my lips, I place the vibrator next to me on the bed. Lying flat on my back, I shimmy out of my yoga pants and panties, kicking them both to the floor when they reach my ankles. Falling back onto my pillow, I reach for Roger, that’s what I call my little purple friend. I can already feel the tension easing out of me.
Closing my eyes, I turn on Roger and let my legs fall apart. Bringing the vibrator to my clit, I draw circles with the tip, teasing myself. My blood hums and pleasure blooms deep in my belly. I keep the vibration on low for now, almost like my little private foreplay.
When I can’t stand waiting any longer, I push the vibrator lower and into my opening. I’m already wet, so it slides in with ease, and a shudder ripples through me at the movement. Even though I’m alone, I bite my lip to stifle the moan trying to escape my lips.
Moving the vibrator in and out, I up the speed and let the pulses of vibration buzz through me. It doesn’t take long before the sound of my arousal fills my ears. I’m so wet, I should be embarrassed. Closing my eyes, an image of Warren pops into my mind. I can feel his hands on me, his knuckles skimming against my wet folds.
“Look at this mess. You’re all fucking wet… what will I do with you now?” My pulse quickens, and my pussy quivers, my body on the edge of an orgasm.
“Oh, god…” I pant into the empty room, fucking myself faster and faster.
“Come, show me how much your pussy craves my cock...show me, Harper…” I squeeze my eyes closed tighter, and air rapidly enters my lungs as I fall over the edge and into stormy waters to the sound of Warren’s deep angry voice. I let the waves of pleasure wrap around me, tugging me deeper and deeper. My heart races, and I do my best to focus on the pleasure and not the fact that I just came to imagining his voice.
I’ve barely come down from my high when a loud knock fills the room. For a moment, I’m paralyzed, still suspended in time. Is someone at the door? I can’t be sure, my mind hasn’t fully returned to this room yet. Part of it is still somewhere up in the clouds.
“Open the door, Harper. I know you’re in there. You can’t hide forever,” my cousin Valerie’s voice pierces through the lustful fog around my head. I’m up, scrabbling to find my pants and pull them on before she kicks the door in. Seriously, she would do it. I’ve finally got everything into place when I start walking toward the door. Then I remember the vibrator is still on and sitting on the bed. Shit.
“Do you want to pay for a new door because I will seriously kick…”
Rushing over to the bed, I turn the thing off and stuff it under my pillow before jogging back over to the front door. I tuck any loose strands of hair behind my ear and unlock the door, opening it slowly. I know before Valerie even says anything that I look guilty. My cheeks are blazing, and my insides are knotted. What’s the point of masturbating if I didn’t get to enjoy the aftershocks?
Valerie eyes me like she’s a detective. “What were you doing?” She questions walking into the small space with her arms crossed over her chest, and her eyes narrowed.
Rolling my eyes, I close the door, “Nothing, Val, unpacking and getting used to the place.”
“Hmmm.” She nibbles on her bottom lip. “Why are you so sweaty?”
Self-consciously, I look down at the floor. “I’m not, and if I am, it’s because of all the moving.”
“Right, like I believe that.” She busts out with laughter. Looking up from the floor, I see she’s straightened her silky brown hair and painted her face on.
“What do you want? I thought you had plans, and that’s why you couldn’t do Chinese with me?” I try not to sound upset about it, but I kind of am. After the crap with Warren, I really could’ve used someone to talk to right away. Valerie, of course, said she had plans, and I wasn’t going to spill my guts about Warren to her over the phone.
“No longer is it me that has plans but us.” Her thick brown eyebrows wiggle back and forth, and I know whatever it is that’s including us, I’m not going to like.
“What are these plans you have because if it involves boys, booze, or birth control, I’m not game.” I purse my lips and stare at her head-on. Valerie and I couldn’t be any different. Yes, we look similar, both of us having the same silky brown hair and light hazel eyes, but outside of that, there is no comparison. I’m a straight A student, grades and blazing a path for myself have always been the most important things to me.
Drinking, partying, and sleeping around
have been Valerie’s. Since she was a teenager, she’s been trouble, and college life was merely a gateway to all of her favorite events. Valerie doesn’t go to school here, neither does she want to. She chose the local community college, and honestly, I was surprised by that. To finance her school, she works as a waitress at a local burger joint, which she claims she loves because of the great tips. I can hardly believe that since waitresses barely make anything.
“There is a party at one of the frat boys’ houses. I always go alone but want you to go with me tonight. It’ll be good for you, let you check out all the guys, and maybe make some friends? I don’t go to school here, so I can’t help you during the day, and we both know you could use the extra help with making friends.”
Gritting my teeth, I prepare to deny her claim, but really, she isn’t wrong. Since moving away, I’ve found it hard—if not impossible—to maintain friendships. Maybe because of the way things ended with Warren, or maybe it was because I had to start over as a sophomore at a different high school. I don’t know. I just never got a chance to really click with anyone. That doesn’t mean that the friends I want are going to be at this party though.
“I need to make friends with people that care about their grades and studying, not people who are focused on chugging a beer the fastest or who slept with who last.”
Valerie frowns, “Will you just come and stop being such a downer. You’re nineteen, but you act like you’re ninety. Live a little.”
Live a little? I scoff. Valerie has lived enough for at least five college freshman girls. I’m okay living inside my bubble away from the rest of the world. Nonetheless, if I don’t go, she will continue to beg and plead, and truthfully, I could use a drink even if it is stale frat boy beer.
“Fine, I’ll go,” as soon as the words pass my lips, I regret them.
“Oh, my god. Yes!” Valerie squeals, jumping up and down in her heels that look like something a stripper might wear. “I’ll do your hair and makeup and make you all sexy. No one with a penis will be able to stop themselves from looking your way.”
