After Colson left my room last night, I buried my face in my pillow, ashamed for kissing him back. I fought the desire at the bar, which says a lot as close as he was, but the moment he stepped into my bedroom and shut the door behind him, we were completely alone. One look into his dark eyes and I caved.
I was already having my doubts about Dax with how much we fight, and now I know for a fact that we need another break. I know I said before that there wouldn’t be any more, but this time it’s because of me. My head isn’t right. I’m the one who screwed up this time, and last night just solidified how necessary a break is. I need to break away from them both if I’m being honest. They’re both a poison of some form.
Dax is the toxic one to my heart. We have a long history that isn’t easily replaced, but he’s already broken my heart multiple times. I still hold onto us because of it. Colson is toxic to my mind and body in a way I’ve never experienced. He’s doing everything in his power to break me down bit by bit until I have no choice but to give him what he wants—what he’s apparently always wanted—me. The Bennett Brothers are going to ruin me if I let them, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough to stop them.
I’m so nervous that I can’t stop my leg from bouncing. Dax will be here shortly, and I’m dreading this conversation. But I can’t lie to him. He deserves to know the truth.
“Hey, babe.” Blaire tiredly makes her way past the couch and heads for the kitchen. “It’s early. I’m surprised you’re already up.”
“Couldn’t sleep,” I admit. “Been up since eight.”
“Ouch. You got in pretty late last night too. Or maybe that was my brother. I don’t know.” She reaches for her favorite mug and fills it with coffee. “Whoever it was woke me up.”
“Sorry,” I say nervously, hoping she didn’t hear anything else. Like her brother entering and leaving my bedroom. “Did you fall right back to sleep?”
She nods and takes a sip of coffee. “Oh yeah. I was exhausted. Went out with Paxton and a few friends for drinks last night.”
“You two gonna get back together?” I ask, relieved.
“I don’t know. We went on what, two dates, like two years ago? I don’t know if it was bad timing or if we just don’t work well together. It’s kind of cool being able to hang out with him again, though.” She joins me in the living room and takes a seat in the recliner. “How are things going with my brother?”
“Which one?”
“Are you dating more than one?” She lifts a brow and brings her mug to her lips. “If so, that’s a little twisted.” Her face falls once she gets a look at my expression. I probably look like I’m about to vomit right now. “Tell me I’m not right, Kennedy.”
“You’re not,” I say, shifting in my seat. “I’m not going to be dating either of your brothers here shortly. I’m telling Dax that I need a break.” I could tell her about what happened with Colson last night, but since I don’t plan to pursue anything with him, I keep that to myself.
“I seriously don’t get you two. Why keep taking breaks and getting back together? We had this discussion before, and I still don’t understand why you haven’t moved on yet. Do you think I’ll be mad at you and we’ll stop being friends? What is it?”
“That’s not it at all.”
“Then tell me what it is.”
I take a deep breath and slowly exhale, not wanting to get into this with her right now. “I’ve never dated anyone else.” I get ready to add that I’ve never even kissed another guy, but now that’s not the case anymore. I kissed the last person on this earth I should’ve. “It’s hard to walk away from someone you’ve loved as long as I’ve loved Dax. We have too much history. That can’t be erased.”
“All right, babe.” She grabs her mug and stands. “I can’t tell you what to do, but one day these breaks are going to have to stop. If you ever get married, there won’t be any breaks. Remember that.”
The mention of marriage has me feeling panicked. Marrying Dax has never crossed my mind before, but what if that’s what he expects? Has he thought of us married? What if a break was no longer an option? Would I want to stay with Dax forever?
These questions continue to plague my mind once Blaire leaves to do a few things at the salon even though it’s her day off. And by the time I hear Dax pull up in the driveway and shut the door, I feel nauseous. I hate this.
“Where’s my brother?” he questions the moment he steps inside and looks around. He’s tense, as if he already knows I’m going to tell him something bad.
“I don’t know. He was gone when I woke up.”
He lets out a frustrated breath and closes the door behind him. “I already know what this is about, Kennedy, and I think it’s bullshit.” I close my eyes when he grabs my chin and looks down at me. How can I even look at him after kissing Colson? “I don’t want another break from you. I told you I was all in the last time and I meant it. What changed for you?”
I open my eyes to look at him and guilt hits me hard, along with confusion. I don’t know how to feel right now. The Bennett Brothers are screwing me up. “I kissed your brother last night, Dax. He came into my room and I let him kiss me. I didn’t push him away. I let him. I don’t know why, but I did, and that’s something I’ve never come close to doing before. I’m confused.”
He flexes his jaw and squeezes his eyes shut. “The asshole left that part out last night. I’m seriously going to kill him.”
“Last night?” I ask, confused. “You talked to him last night?”
“Yeah,” he says stiffly. “He showed up at my house. But he didn’t fucking tell me you kissed him. What the fuck?” he backs away from me to grip his hair in anger. “I knew he was messing with you, but I didn’t know it was fucking working, goddammit. I was hoping he was wrong when he said you wanted a break, but clearly, I’m the asshole here and you want to be with my brother. That’s fucked up on so many levels, Kennedy. It really is. I thought you were better than that, than him.”
“I never said that! Don’t put words in my mouth. Kissing him was a mistake and it never should’ve happened, especially while we were still together. He caught me in a moment of weakness. It won’t happen again.” I hope. “But this isn’t just about him and how I screwed up. It’s about us and all the fighting we’ve been doing lately. I don’t want a break so I can be with Colson. That’s not it. I just can’t breathe right now. I can’t think straight and it’s messing with me. I have enough going on with trying to prove to my Grandmother that I can run Dixie’s. That’s what I need to concentrate on right now; not fighting with you or worrying about you and your brother fighting. I just need time.”
“Don’t let him get to you just because we’ve been having rough times.” He comes at me, wrapping his hands into the back of my hair. “Fuck my brother. He thinks you belong to him and he won’t stop until you do. I won’t have that shit. Break or no break, I’m not letting him win. Tell me,” he says against my lips, “are we on a break or not? I need to know what’s going on before I hit the road with my dad.”
I nod, because I can’t be with Dax while thinking about his brother. It’s fucked up; I know it is. I need to get Colson out of my head. Then maybe Dax and I have a chance. I can’t tell right now if we’ll make it, but maybe once Colson is out of the picture that can be a possibility. “I’m sorry. It’s what I need right now.”
He grunts before kissing me on the lips, his body pressing hard against mine. He doesn’t pull away until we’re both breathless and fighting for air. “Remember that kiss when my asshole brother tries getting to you while I’m gone. I’ll be back late tonight. A break isn’t going to keep me away, so don’t think for one second that it will.”
I nod, not knowing what to say. I told him the truth and asked for a break and he’s choosing to fight for me. It’ll be the first in eight years, and I’m not sure what to make of it.
He walks away angry, punching the hood of his truck a few times before he jumps inside and drives away. I remain si
tting here for a bit, lost in my own silence, before showering and getting dressed.
It’s strange that Colson hasn’t been around this morning, and it makes me wonder if he even came back last night now that I know he left. I don’t know why I even care. I’m pissed that he thinks he had the right to tell his brother I was going to ask for a break. That’s my decision. It doesn’t help that he probably made it seem like I was leaving Dax for him either.
Just because I made the mistake of giving in to him last night doesn’t mean I’m going to do it again. I’ll be stronger next time he tries his shit. Colson loves games.
A noise outside my bedroom window has me sitting up and looking outside to find Colson working on my car. Just like every time I see him, my heart speeds up, and it’s frustrating. Just once I’d like to see Colson and not feel something.
Grunting in agitation, I close my bedroom curtain and plop back down on my bed. I shouldn’t go out there. After what happened last night, I should just pretend he’s not here, but I can’t.
Shoeless, I hurry outside and to the side of the house where he’s bent over under the hood of my car working. The white T-shirt he’s wearing is so thin I can see his back muscles every time they flex, and it almost has me saying ‘fuck it’ and turning around.
“You had no right to tell your brother shit last night.”
He stands up and turns around to face me. The moment his eyes meet mine, my insides crumble. Ugh! “You’re welcome for fixing your car, by the way.” He ignores my comment and all it does is piss me off more.
“As much as I appreciate you fixing my car, it doesn’t make up for the asshole move you pulled last night. Not fucking cool. We were both in the wrong, but it should’ve been me to tell him what happened and how I was feeling.”
He wipes his hands off on the rag he pulls from his back pocket. “So, you told him what happened, and he just left? Where’s my brother now, huh?” He tosses the dirty rag aside and steps into my space. “I don’t see him here, so clearly he doesn’t care enough.”
I swallow and close my eyes when they move down to his lips. I can’t look at them and not want them on me again. “He’s on his way to an auction with your dad.” I step around him to look at my car. “He’ll be back late tonight.”
He closes the hood of my car, causing me to jump. “So what happened? Did you two kiss and makeup?”
I hesitate, before saying, “We’re on a break.”
“Good.” He moves in close until his mouth is hovering just out of reach. One breath and our lips will brush. It’s annoying how much I want that to happen. “Grab your board.”
“What for?”
He smiles, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen all day. “We’re going to Underground.”
“What makes you think I still skate?”
He laughs and runs a hand through his messy hair. “You don’t seriously think you can just show up at the skatepark after not being there for years and me not hear about it. Word gets around.” He backs away, his smile widening. “Now throw on some shoes and grab your board.”
I want to say ‘fuck off’ and walk away from him, because I know in my head that going to the skatepark with Colson is a bad idea. Too bad for me, I don’t always listen to my head. “Fine. But I can’t stay long; one hour, tops.”
He winks and disappears into the house.
Screw you and that stupid, sexy wink!
My stomach is in knots the entire way to the skatepark. It feels weird being inside of Colson’s truck with him instead of Dax’s. His hand is so close to mine that all I have to do is move mine an inch and they’d be touching.
As I stare at them so close, I wonder how many girls he’s held hands with. I’ve seen him in two relationships in the past, and between both girls that he dated, I never saw him holding their hand, or even kissing them, now that I think about it. They were both obsessed with him to the point that he barely went anywhere without them trailing behind. I always thought that maybe he just liked his independence and that’s why he doesn’t date much. But if that was the case then why not just sleep around and stay single like Travis does?
“Nervous?” He glances down at our hands to where my eyes have been focused for the last minute or so. “Afraid I’m going to hold your hand?”
“No.” I remove my arm from the center console and rest it in my lap. “The thought never crossed my mind.”
“Really? So you’re telling me if I held your hand right now you wouldn’t like it?” He glances my way and grins once he notices where my hand is now; tucked between my legs and out of reach. Truthfully, I’m afraid to find out. “I don’t buy it. What makes you think I even hold hands?”
“I don’t,” I say on an exhale. “Just drive.”
I face the window, and the next thing I know Colson is pulling my hand into his lap. “In case you were wondering where I’d prefer your hand right now, close to my dick is perfectly fine.” He places his hand over mine and moves it so close to his dick that I can feel the outline. “Let’s not pretend this isn’t the best spot in this truck.”
I close my eyes and fight to control my breathing. I hate the way he makes me feel, because his brother has never turned me on or excited me as much as he does. “I doubt it.” I attempt to pull my hand from his, but he grips it tighter and focuses on the road as if us doing this is normal.
It’s not. Nothing about Colson and I is normal.
Instead of fighting him like I normally would, I relax my hand and enjoy the feeling of him beneath it. When his fingers lace with mine from above, butterflies fill my stomach. This is exactly what I didn’t want to find out; that I do in fact like him holding my hand. I shouldn’t even be holding hands with him. I meant it when I told Dax I wasn’t trying to date his brother.
“Relax, Kennedy.” He pulls into the parking lot of Underground and uses his left hand to shift into park. “Stop acting like you have a boyfriend right now. Dax isn’t here. You’re with me right now, and when you’re with me,” he yanks the key from the ignition and reaches behind us to grab my board, “no one else fucking matters.”
He hands me my board before reaching for his and hopping out of the truck. I jump out too, my nerves going haywire as I meet him at the front of the truck. “Your brother and I are only on a break. Doesn’t mean we’re not getting back together, and it certainly doesn’t mean I can just hold your hand and do whatever else I want.”
He smiles and wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me against his hard body. “So you’re finally admitting you want to hold my hand and do other things with me?” His hand brushes my hair behind my ear, my heart beating fast at the feel of his fingers. “I figured it’d take longer to get a confession out of you.”
I let out a humorless laugh and maneuver my way out of his arms. “Let’s just do what we came here to do.”
“Make out in the office downstairs?”
Don’t even think about kissing Colson. Just don’t.
“That’s the last thing I’d come here to do.”
He flashes me a crooked grin and holds the door open for me. It’s practically empty when we walk inside, only a handful of people hanging out on their bikes and boards, practicing tricks and listening to music. I’ve always loved how chill this place can be when it’s slow.
It’s barely past ten, so I don’t expect too many people we know to show up anytime soon, which gives us time to just hang out like old times. Back before I secretly found him attractive. With it being a Sunday morning, most of them are probably still sleeping from a late night. I’m surprised myself and Colson are even awake and kicking it right now.
“Come on. Let’s go to the back where no one will bother us.” Colson places his hand on my lower back and guides me toward the big bowl. It used to be my favorite place to hang out back when I used to come here. “I’m going in.”
I nod and set my board down, prepared to just hang back and watch him for a while. He flashes a smile, before dropping in and doi
ng some tricks that come as easy to him as breathing air. He’s the best skater I know, which also adds to his sex appeal. Dax was never good at it, and I have a feeling he’s always hated Colson for being great at something he sucked at.
Enjoying the entertainment, I take a seat on the edge and watch him for a while, getting just as lost in him as I used to when coming here. Damn, he’s sexy on a skateboard; too sexy for his own good, and I almost feel guilty for enjoying the sight even though Dax and I are on a break.
After a while, once he’s sweaty and out of breath, he jumps off his board and looks up at me. “I could get used to you watching me again. I like it way too much.” He smirks and runs up the bowl, grabbing the back of my neck once he reaches the top. His gaze lowers to my lips as he leans in, and for a second, I think he’s about to kiss me again. My heart speeds up and my palms become sweaty at the anticipation of his mouth on mine, but instead, he just smiles and slides back down to his board.
With his eyes on me, he grabs the back of his shirt and rips it over his head, tossing it up to me. I catch it and swallow as my gaze rakes over his perfect body, taking in every sweaty dip of muscle. It should be illegal to have a body that beautiful.
“You gonna join me?” he questions, lifting his hat to run a hand through his hair. “No one can see us down here. They might hear us, but I can’t help that.”
“I think I’ll stay up here.”
“You sure?” He wipes the back of his forearm over his forehead to wipe away the sweat. “Last chance before more people show up.”
“I’m sure.”
He grins and grabs his board. “Then I’ll just come up there.” He runs up and takes a seat beside me, taking the bottled water that I hand him. “Why did you leave the other day before I could see you?”
“Who said I was even here at the same time as you?”
Steal You Away Page 11
