I pull at the collar of my T-shirt, my pulse racing as he jumps down to his feet and steps behind me. My breath catches in my throat when his arm wraps around me and he steps onto the board behind me. “I thought you didn’t bring me here for this,” I whisper, hardly able to speak as his lips move gently across my neck.
“I didn’t,” he whispers against my skin, brushing my hair out of the way. “But I’m losing my willpower more and more each day.” His thumb brushing down the front of my throat has me leaning my head back, resting it against his hard chest. “I think you are too. You feel it, don’t you? The fight in you is becoming weaker the more we’re together.”
I swallow, because it’s the truth. He may not be sleeping at our place for long—which helps a bit—but he’ll still be at the bar every single night, and I’m far too aware of that. I may have wanted to fire him on the spot six days ago, but now, the thought of not having him run the food truck sucks. I push that thought away just as quickly as it comes.
“Maybe we should go,” I breathe, my chest quickly rising and falling from his closeness. “Your sister is going to wonder why we’re both gone if she wakes up.”
“Would it be so wrong for her to know we’re together?” His soft breath brushes my ear, right before his lips do. “She’s going to see us together eventually and realize you’ve moved on to her little brother. She’ll get over it.”
“Why can’t you see how royally fucked up that sounds?”
“I think it sounds hot,” he breathes. “How many girls don’t fantasize about their boyfriend’s younger, hotter brother?”
“I don’t know.” My response has him smiling against my skin now, his hand squeezing my hip. He’s enjoying this all too much. “Doesn’t make it right,” I add.
“You can tell me if it feels right after it happens. Until then, stop judging yourself for wanting it to.”
Just like that, he releases my hip and his body is no longer pressed up against me. I immediately miss the feeling of his body heat and decide it’s best to call it a night. If I’m going to fuck up as bad as I want to, the least I can do is make sure it doesn’t happen on the second night of my break.
Maybe then I won’t feel as bad…
I spent most of the afternoon at my apartment dealing with my furniture being delivered. It took a lot longer than expected, which kept me from seeing Kennedy before my shift. I barely made it out of my apartment in time. I finally had to tell those assholes I’d put my bed together myself just to get them out of the apartment.
When I showed up at Dixie’s two hours ago, I was expecting Kennedy to be here, but instead found out that she has the night off. The thought of not seeing her put me in a shit mood. On top of not sleeping outside her bedroom tonight, I won’t be seeing her here at work either. One day without seeing Kennedy and I’m already in dick mode. I just want to get the night over with so I can think of a way to see her.
“Two beef orders up!” I ding the bell and slide the tacos out the window for Emery and some new kid named Cannon. He’s been at the skatepark every time I’ve gone since I’ve been back, and I swear the dude gets into more fights than I used to. He’s basically me at seventeen but a lot more pissed off and fucked up.
Ever since I pushed Emery away for the millionth time last week, she’s been hanging on the dude’s nuts and he’s not even eighteen. Rumor is, he’s a senior at the local high school and has already gotten a teacher fired for screwing her in the bathroom. Going off the kid’s don’t-give-a-fuck attitude and the way the girls follow him around like they need him to breathe, I believe it.
Hell, I think some of the girls here even came for him, not me. Not that I’m complaining. Good for him. Gets them off my nuts.
After Cannon grabs the food and walks away, I get ready to slide the window closed but a hand grabs it, stopping me.
My shit mood instantly turns around when I spot Kennedy’s fire-red hair from the corner of my eye. It’s tied messily on top of her head, her piercing green eyes watching me as I cross my arms over my chest and look her over. “What does a girl have to do to get some tacos around here?”
“Depends.” I grin and lean out the window. “Just any girl or you? Because there’s a huge difference.”
She tries to hide a smile but fails. I’m getting to her and not just sexually. “Is there, though?”
“Hell fucking yes.” I reach out and grab the back of her neck, pulling her closer to me. “Do I need to name them all? Because it could take a while?”
She visibly swallows, her gaze lowering to my lips briefly before moving up to meet mine. “Maybe I’m not here for me. Maybe I’m here for my Grandmother. She loves your tacos.”
I smile and run my thumb over her bottom lip. “You don’t need to make up excuses to come see me, Kennedy. I want you to.”
Her eyes close for a moment, almost as if she’s lost in a trance, before she clears her throat and pulls away from me. “Pork tacos for Dixie. All the works.”
“I know.”
“You know what?”
“How Dixie likes her tacos.” I laugh and walk over to throw some pork on the grill. “I brought her food every week before I moved away.”
“You did?” she questions, surprised.
“Yeah. After your mom ran off when I was twelve, I wanted to do something nice to make you both feel better.” I turn away from the grill to look at her, her expression suddenly serious as she waits to hear more. “I googled how to make a lasagna and then put it in a box with handles and walked it over. It sucked, but Dixie thanked me anyway. Said that maybe one day I could work for her food truck.” I shrug and turn back to the grill as if it’s not a big deal. “So, I learned how to cook and started bringing her food every time I tried a new dish.”
“It didn’t suck,” she suddenly says after a few moments. “I remember that lasagna. I just didn’t know it was you who made it.” It’s quiet for a moment before she adds, “Did you really learn how to cook just so you could work the food truck one day?”
“Well, you did say when we were kids that you’d be managing it when you were older,” I smile and drop two orders of tacos in front of her, “so yeah… I did.”
“I had no idea you wanted to work here.”
“You also had no idea I wanted you either. Not until it was too late, at least.”
“Any day now,” someone complains from behind her.
“I should get inside.” She goes to turn away.
“Want me to take him out?” I joke.
She pauses for a moment, but only laughs before walking away, freeing the window for the asshole behind her. Lucky for him, I’m working, or I’d choke his ass against this truck for talking to Kennedy that way, but I’ve come too far with Kennedy to get fired now. I take note of his face for later, when I’m off the clock.
The busy spurt lasted about thirty minutes, but now that’s it’s slowed down, I grab a smoke and step outside to grab my board, only to find it gone. It only takes a few seconds to realize that Kennedy has it, so I walk around the truck where she’s standing with it under her arm. “Want to teach me that trick you do?”
I smile around my cigarette before taking a long drag and slowly exhaling. “The Cab Flip?”
She smiles and hands me the board. “Yeah, that one. Apparently, I’m a little rusty.”
I toss my cigarette and drop the board, getting into stance. Then I roll a fakie and pop the kickflip, spinning it 180 degrees, then around to a 360. I do this a few times, letting her watch me first. I almost fall the last time because I’m more into her watching me than into what the hell I’m doing.
“Okay. Got it!” She excitedly grabs the board from me, before dropping it and getting into position just like I did. I love seeing the smile on her face at being on my board. Reminds me of old times at the park. “Just don’t laugh too hard if I bust my face.”
“When have I ever laughed at you?”
She looks up from her feet, her gaze landing on mine. �
��Never. You’ve only ever encouraged me. More than anyone else.” Her eyes soften before she looks back down and attempts the trick, failing. “Shit.”
“Keep trying,” I say, grabbing my smoke from the ground. “I’m not going anywhere for a while.”
It takes her trying it five times before she lands it, and the moment she does, I get overexcited and snatch her from the board, spinning her around to celebrate.
We’re face to face when I set her back down, and without thinking, I grab her chin and lift it, bringing my lips to hers. She kisses me back with the same desperation I’m feeling, before sucking in a breath, her chest quickly rising and falling as she backs away.
“I should go. Dixie needs me to run an errand for her.”
“Is that really the reason you should go?” I move in, closing the distance between us. “Or is it because you want to kiss me again but you’re afraid to be seen?”
She hesitates for a moment before saying, “Goodbye, Colson,” and turns to walk away.
That’s all the confirmation I need to know that she’s struggling just as much as I am when it comes to not taking what I want.
My thoughts have been stuck on the kiss Colson and I shared at Dixie’s earlier and how I allowed it to happen in public. When Colson lifted me from his skateboard in celebration of me landing the trick, it felt good being in his arms. It felt even better when he kissed me, especially considering him not caring who was around to see it, as if I was his girl. I didn’t realize just how much I wanted him to kiss me again until he did. I needed it… craved it even.
I’m not even sure why I pushed him away when it felt as good as it did. At least, I wasn’t until Dax’s text came through a little while ago asking if I’m still in love with him.
That’s when I realized why I ran away from Colson earlier. It’s because I’m not still in love with Dax and Colson’s kiss got to me on a level so much deeper than I expected.
Looking down at my phone from my spot on the floor, I read Dax’s text for the fifth time, my heart hurting more and more each time. I’ve been sick to my stomach since the first time I read this text, because I know what I need to do.
When you’ve been with someone for as long as I’ve been with Dax, you never think the day will come when one of you walks away for good. You never think you’ll really say goodbye to someone you’ve loved since you were a kid.
But how can I stay with him when I’m not in love with him anymore? Truth is, I don’t think I have been for a long time now, but I’ve been trying to convince myself otherwise because I was comfortable with what we had. I was used to only seeing him a few days a week and having sex on occasion when we both needed it.
Being around Colson has opened my eyes to how I want to feel with someone. That excitement that comes with being kissed. The fluttering butterflies in my stomach when he looks at me a certain way or says something unexpected. That feeling of need deep down to my core whenever I see him from across the room. Those are the things I should be feeling, and I never have with Dax, not even in the beginning.
The hardest part about this situation is that the one person I feel those things with is his brother. The last person I should. I can’t just jump from being in a relationship with one brother to be with the other. It’s wrong. As much as I crave those things with Colson, I need to suck it up and put the brakes on with him too before things get any deeper. At least until things settle down and some time passes. Who knows, maybe by then I’ll realize Colson was only a phase.
With my hands shaking, I type out a text to Dax and stare at it like a fool.
Kennedy: We need to talk. Tonight.
My heart pounds out of my chest when my phone vibrates less than a minute later.
Dax: Your place or mine?
Kennedy: Mine.
At least this way I can feel a little more comfortable having this conversation. Blaire is gone still—she mentioned being home around midnight—which will give us the privacy we need.
Standing up, I set my phone down on the island and walk over to the sink, turning on the cold water. I stand here for a few seconds, fighting to even my breathing before splashing a few handfuls at my face. I’m burning up right now, feeling nauseous. Breaking up with Dax is huge.
I may not be in love with him, but I still love him, and I never want to hurt him. I’m about to do just that…
I’m still standing by the kitchen sink when Dax’s truck pulls into the driveway, that sick feeling in my stomach intensifying. “Shit, shit, shit!” I release the sink and run my fingers through my hair, my nerves really starting to kick in.
Taking a deep breath, I exhale and meet him at the door, stepping outside right as he steps onto the porch. He’s still dressed in his black button-down shirt and gray slacks from work. I remember thinking he was the sexiest man on earth the first time I saw him dressed up for his job at the bank. He’s still cute—standing here before me—but it doesn’t get my heart racing and my palms sweating like with his brother.
“Hey,” he says gently, grabbing my hand and pulling me to him. “I’ve missed you.”
I swallow, feeling guilty that I can’t say the same. “Dax—”
“Don’t say it, Kennedy.” He releases my hand to cup my face, his brown eyes capturing mine. “Whatever it is, we’ll work it out. My brother is off your couch. Now we just need him away from the bar. I don’t give a shit that Dixie promised him a job there for two weeks. Tell her it isn’t working out and we can get back to normal.”
“Nothing between us is normal, Dax. It hasn’t been for a long time. Don’t you get that?” I try to turn away, but he holds my face still so that I’ll look at him. He knows it’ll make this harder. “Things have been off between us since way before your brother showed back up. Let’s face it, we’ve just become comfortable with each other and the way things have been these past few years.”
“That’s bullshit, babe. Things were good before that asshole showed up to fuck with us.” He turns around, as if to compose himself, before turning back to face me again. “Dammit, Kennedy. Whatever the fuck it is that you’re feeling for my brother will fade. Once he stops throwing himself at you every day and whispering dirty shit in your ear, you’ll stop wanting him. What we have is solid. We’ve built a life together for almost eight years. He shouldn’t be able to touch that.”
“It’s not just because of him, Dax. That’s what I’m saying.” I take a step back and turn away from him. “It’s because of us. You asked me a question earlier. Don’t you want to know the answer?”
He turns me around to face him, shaking his head as he pulls me against him. “Fuck no. Not if that answer is no.” His hands surround my face again, him lowering his head until his mouth is just above mine. “What I want to hear is that you’ll stay away from my brother and work on us. I sent that text in a moment of weakness. I’d take it back if I could.”
“But you can’t, Dax. You asked the question. You made me ask myself a question I never have, and there’s no taking the answer back. I feel it inside of me, eating at me, and it hurts. How can I keep that to myself now? It changes everything.”
“It doesn’t have to,” he growls, lowering his lips to brush mine. “Maybe this will fix it.”
Before I can protest, his mouth hits mine hard, causing me to back into the porch railing and grab it for support. His mouth on mine taking what it wants has my heart racing and my stomach twisting in a bad way. Nothing about this kiss feels good. It feels wrong. Every last second of it until I finally push him away.
“Stop, Dax!” I cover my mouth and walk away, putting some space between us. “I don’t. The answer is no. I’m not in love with you anymore. I’m sorry,” I whisper the last part, my voice breaking. “I can’t do this anymore. I said before that there’d be no more breaks. Me asking for one should’ve been a sign it was over. I should’ve walked away that day, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”
“Kennedy.” He goes to reach for me, but I shake my head and hol
d my palm out to keep him back. “You don’t mean it. Just take some time and think about what you’re saying.”
“I can’t do anymore thinking, Dax. I’m tired of thinking.” I lean my head against the door and squeeze my eyes shut, hating the next part. “We’re through. I need you to just walk away. Please.”
“This is fucked up,” he finally mutters, causing me to open my eyes and look at him. “You’re asking me to walk away so you can be with my brother, of all people. I thought you were better than that, but clearly, I was wrong. Have a good fucking life with him, but don’t be surprised if we have some words.
“I don’t plan to jump into a relationship with your brother,” I say, causing him to turn back around once he reaches the bottom step. “That’s not why I’m ending things tonight. You need to know that.”
“So what,” he bites out, “that won’t stop my brother from trying to make that happen. We’re done now, Kennedy. What makes you think he’ll back off? He wants you and he won’t stop until you’re his. He’s been fucking saying this since he was twelve.” He shakes his head. “Goodnight, Kennedy. I hope you realize just how big of a mistake you’re making, and trust me, it’s a huge mistake to think he can love you better than I can.”
He walks away, leaving my head and heart racing. My intentions might not be to jump into a relationship with Colson, but Dax is right. If Colson wants me as much as he says he does, he won’t stop until I’m his. And as much as I hate the idea of being with Colson after just ending things with his brother, I’ll give into him, because I don’t have the willpower to push him away.
* * *
Colson
Someone pounding on the door has me sitting up and running my hands down my face. It can only be one of two people showing up this late, and by the urgency of the banging, it’s easy to figure out that it’s the one person I’d rather not fucking deal with right now.
Steal You Away Page 15
