I connect my phone to her Bluetooth speakers while she plates our food a few minutes later. Sitting at her table, we both stay unmoved and quiet. There’s an awkwardness in the air between us, and I don’t like one bit of it.
We’ve eaten together more times in our lives than I can count. We’ve known each other since before we could talk. We’ve shared a bed. We’ve seen each other naked, for fuck’s sake. But now, sitting here with our honest feelings out on the table and ready to take the plunge into becoming a couple is almost crippling.
“Did you change your mind since this morning?” I finally ask, taking a sip of my wine. “Is that why you were crying?”
“What?” She looks up at me. “No, Teddy. I didn’t change my mind.” She takes my hand in hers and smiles, and it feels real this time. “I had a phone call after you left this morning that left me feeling a little shaken and emotional, but it had nothing to do with you. I’m sorry I made you question things.”
Running a hand down my face, I look at her, feeling relieved but also like there’s more that she isn’t telling me.
“I don’t want to push you into something you don’t want,” I say with a nervous swallow. “You know how I feel about you, Harper. But I’d rather hold on to you as a friend and watch you be happy with someone else than settle for me and regret it later on, ruining our friendship.”
“Teddy,” she whispers my name.
“I mean it, Harper. I love you and have for a long time, but above that, I want you to be happy and in love, regardless of whether it’s with me or not.”
She leans in, placing her hand on my cheek. “I love you, Teddy. I want to be with you.”
Leaning forward, I close the distance between us and press my lips to hers, hoping to seal her words, hoping they never waiver.
When we pull apart, she smiles sweetly at me, looking up from under her lashes. “Let’s eat. We can finish that later,” she flirts, biting into her lip and driving me wild.
Harper
We finish dinner, our conversations light, both of us skirting around the heavier things we should talk about but don’t. We clean up, the pair of us in sync with one another comfortably from years of this same song and dance. This time just has an awkwardness about it.
Sipping on my second glass of wine, I close my eyes and let my hips swing side to side as Demi Lovato’s raspy, soulful voice fills the air around us. I’m thankful for the small amount of alcohol swirling in me, helping to turn my brain off and relax some.
Teddy grabs my hand and pulls me to him, swaying us side to side in a simple dance in the middle of my kitchen. Our bodies press together, closer than we usually are, his hand trailing lower to places it’s never touched before as his lips meet mine.
I kiss him back and will myself to be lost in the moment with him. Everything he gives me is everything I want and need, and yet, I can’t make myself surrender to him fully. No matter how much I want to, I still hold back some.
When we enter my bedroom, he pulls my shirt off, and I do the same to him. Before long, we’re both naked, bare in front of each other in a way we have never been before. Our eyes rove over one another’s bodies as we take each other in.
Teddy is every woman’s wet dream. Brown hair that’s lighter in places from weekends spent surfing. Longer on top and trimmed short on the sides, perfectly professional and still sexy. His blue eyes with green flecks shine bright. A cute little nose and a strong jaw make him look like he could be a model with his full lips, which are soft to kiss. His body is cut with muscles down to that V that every woman salivates over. And right now, between that V is a long, hard cock, thick and pulsing against his taut stomach.
“Fuck, you are so beautiful, Harper,” he says reverently. My cheeks pink when I look up and see his eyes trailing over my body the way I just did to him.
My hands start to tremble. I clasp them in front of me to try to hide how nervous I am.
“Don’t be nervous, baby,” he says to me, stepping directly in front of me, cupping my face.
I close my eyes because his words and his actions feel so much like a time in my past with someone else. Opening my eyes, I try to stay focused on Teddy. I want this. I want Teddy. I want to give this to him.
He leans forward, and his lips kiss my shoulder and up the side of my neck, his hands on my hips as he gently pulls me into him.
Teddy starts to make love to me in the softest way possible. And all I can think the entire time is how wrong it feels. But I love Teddy. So, I tell myself this awkwardness will pass. It’s just because it’s the first time we’re having sex, that’s all.
But as he slips inside me, I gasp and close my eyes. When I do, all I see are green eyes staring down at me, not the blue eyes that are there when I open them again. So, I keep them closed and allow myself to get lost.
It’s just this once…
Part III
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jett
One Year Later
My alarm blares next to me, waking me with a start. Groaning, I turn it off, my other hand on my head. Definitely drank too much last night—especially for it being a Tuesday. Fuck, it’s barely even mid-week yet.
Movement in my bed next to me jolts me, causing more contempt in my actions from last night. Turning my head, I see a naked woman next to me. Shit, I don’t even remember her name.
She shifts, stretching and looking at me with a timid grin. “You obviously have somewhere to be. I’ll just dress and get out of your way.”
“I’ll have a car waiting to take you home.” I tell her the same thing I tell any woman lucky enough to get a whole night in my bed—which are few and far between.
How drunk was I last night? I think to myself, making my way to my bathroom and turning on the shower. I don’t worry about her stealing from me for two reasons. One, I’m rich enough that it wouldn’t matter. And two, I make every woman sign an NDA before I bring them to my home.
After I shower, I look at my scruff and decide to forgo shaving today. It’s not at the homeless look yet. I brush my teeth and run hair product through my hair, which needs a cut. On second thought, I might be toeing a little close to homeless.
I dress, slip my wallet and phone in my pocket, and put on my favorite watch. Clipping on my cufflinks as I walk to the kitchen, I go straight for the coffee machine and turn it on. Leaning back against the counter, I roll my head from side to side a few times, but when I look at the island across from me, I see it.
The reason I drank myself to blackout levels and brought a nameless girl home.
Swallowing, I reach for the cardstock that’s lying there staring at me. Mocking me.
Joseph & Beverly McCarthy
Invite you to witness the marriage of their daughter
Harper Jane McCarthy
To
Theodore George Tomlin III
I blow out a breath as I read over the details this time. It all seems wrong. Even the invitations look nothing like Harper.
It’s being held at the Airlie Gardens; no doubt Daddy McCarthy is paying the big bucks to have the entire thing for the weekend. It seems stuffy and pretentious and not anything like the Harper I once knew. Teddy? Yeah. But not Harper.
But maybe that’s just it. Maybe this is her now. I barely spoke to her a year ago, and before that, it had been five years. A lot can change in six years. Especially people. I should know. I have.
Scoffing, I toss the embossed invitation back on the counter and turn around to make a cup of coffee. I take a sip, and when I turn again, my eyes drift back to that stupid card. Anger seizes me, and I throw my mug, making it shatter and splash hot coffee all over my kitchen, probably denting my stainless-steel fridge in the process.
“Fuck!” I yell, bracing my hands on the counter, attempting to calm myself down.
I give myself exactly thirty seconds to berate myself for ruining everything between Harper and me and any chance that we’d one day have a future together. Then, I stand tall,
roll my shoulders back and walk out to my car to drive to the office.
My assistant stops me as I step off the elevator, “Mr. Leos, there’s a woman in your office. I tried to stop her, but she wouldn’t listen, telling me she knew you and worked for the company as well. I’m so sorry, Mr. Leos. Would you like me to call security?” She blinks up at me, waiting for me to yell at her.
But instead, I pause and look at her. “Let me see who it is first.”
For a second, I get hopeful that maybe by some fucking miracle it’s Harper, but as soon as I push open the door and see her long brown hair falling to her curvy ass that’s barely covered by a tight skirt and mile-high heels, a smile pulls on my lips.
“It’s fine, Kimber. No need for security,” I tell her as Gabby turns to look at me. She muffles a ‘bitch’ as I close the door, making me chuckle. Sitting behind my desk, I motion to Gabby to sit. “What brings you here?”
“I was wondering if you’d gotten a certain piece of mail yet?” she asks with a lifted brow.
“Ah,” I say, booting up my computer. “That.”
“Yeah.” She smirks. “That.”
“What about it, Gabby?” I ask, exhausted by her already.
“What the fuck are you going to do about it?”
My head snaps up, pinning her eyes with mine. “What are you talking about? What do you mean, what am I going to do? There’s nothing to do but see where the happy couple is registered and send a gift.”
“Fuck that. You need to fight for her.”
“Gabriella…” I sigh her name, rubbing at my temples.
She’s staring at me, leaned back in the chair across from me, grinding her jaw. “She still loves you.”
“Oh yeah?” I ask with a little laugh. “Then why is she marrying Teddy?”
“Because he’s safe.” She looks at me harder, then rolls her eyes. “He’s her constant. The one who’s always been there and never left. She feels safe with him.”
“That’s not a bad thing, Gabby,” I say, even though it kills me to admit it.
“Safe gets boring, Jett. And you and I both know Teddy is boring and Harper is not. She belongs with you. She always has.” She leans forward and pierces me with another hard look. “So, I ask you again… What are you going to do about it?”
Dropping my eyes to my clasped hands on my desk, I tell her the truth. “Nothing.” I inhale and fall back in my chair. “I’ve hurt her enough in this lifetime, Gabs. I can’t hurt her again. I promised myself I’d keep my distance and let her go, and that’s what I intend to do.”
“That’s bullshit!” Her fist hits my desk. “I’d heard you were a fucking asshole these days, but I didn’t know you were a coward too.”
She stands and walks to the door, slamming it behind her as she leaves.
My intercom beeps a second later. “Yes, Kimber?”
“Can I get you anything, Mr. Leos?” she asks softly, and I wonder how much she heard.
“Coffee, please, Kimber. And make it Irish,” I add, looking to see it’s barely nine in the morning. My head falls to my desk with a thump.
Fuck my fucked-up life.
* * *
I’m almost done with my long-ass day at the office when Kimber buzzes me. “Mr. Leos, I have a woman here to see you. She doesn’t have an appointment, and I know it’s the end of the day. What would you like me to do?”
Huffing a laugh, I shake my head. It’s probably fucking Gabby again. “It’s fine, send her in. And you’re free to go home, Miss Cruz.”
“Thank you, sir,” she replies just before my office door is pushed open.
“You here to yell at me again?” I laugh—it’s only been a week since she was here last time—before looking up, only to stop short when I see it’s not Gabby.
“Uh, I’m sorry to barge in here like this,” she says quietly with her brows furrowed, looking down.
My heart is pounding so hard in my chest, and I feel the blood drain from my face as I look at her standing there, nervous as she chews on her lip and shifts from foot to foot.
“It’s okay. Are you alright?” I ask, pushing away from my desk and rounding the oak to stand in front of her. My crooked finger goes under her chin to bring her face up to look at me. “What are you doing here, Harper?”
She stares at me a minute before shaking her head and pulling up the bag that’s in her hand. “I came to give this back to you.”
Tilting my head in question, I take the bag from her and look inside. It looks like it’s a crystal vase. “What is it?”
She scoffs and turns away from me slightly. “I knew it. You didn’t even pick it out.”
“What are you talking about? What’s going on? Are you okay?” I ask again, now getting concerned by her weird behavior.
“I received your wedding gift,” she starts, gesturing to the bag in my hand. “And your decline to attend the wedding.” I don’t miss the way she says the wedding and not her wedding. “And I do not accept.”
I can’t stop the laugh that bubbles out of me. This. This is my Harper.
“It’s not funny, Jett.” She stomps her foot like a petulant child, only making me laugh harder. Setting the bag on my desk, I lean back on it and watch her a moment. She stands, looking annoyed, closed off with her arms crossed in front of her.
I sober, pushing off the desk to be right in front of her. “You’re right. It’s not fucking funny, Harper. And neither was getting a fucking invitation to yours and Teddy’s wedding,” I grit, getting in her face. “That wasn’t funny at all.” My traitorous eyes go down to her lips, where she licks them, before looking back up to her eyes, making my dick stir in my pants.
She takes a quick inhale, and when she exhales, her hot breath fans over my skin, making my cock instantly harden. Because no matter how much time has passed since I’ve been with Harper McCarthy, she will always be the only woman I ever want, the only one who can bring me to my knees.
And it pisses me off.
“I—” she starts, but I cut her off with my hand over her mouth, her eyes going wide.
“If you even think about saying you didn’t mean to hurt me, I’m going to turn you over my knee and spank your ass for lying to me.” Her nostrils flare, and I see her eyes begin to change from my words. Removing my hand from her mouth, I motion for her to continue.
She opens and closes her mouth several times before finally saying, “Your impersonal gift pissed me off. I just came here to return it to you. Perhaps it’ll make a good condom holder for you. I hear you’re quite the whore these days.”
A wolfish grin pulls on my lips because this is the girl—woman now—who I dream about. The fiery one who always gets my dick hard with her sassy mouth. Glad she didn’t lose that through everything.
“Might serve better as a place to keep all the panties I collect instead,” I quip, just to see how far I can push her.
With a scoff and scrunched-up face, she takes a step back and says, “You’re disgusting.”
“Aww… baby, you used to love how disgusting I was,” I taunt with my head tilted to the side a little, leaning back against my desk again.
“I don’t know why I came here,” she mutters to herself more than to me.
“Teddy not doing it for you anymore, Harps?” I keep taunting. “Come looking for one last roll in the sack with an old flame? Need to make new memories to relive when he’s fucking you in a missionary position all vanilla-like and hardly getting you wet?”
“How dare you!” she seethes. Good. Maybe now she’ll be honest with why she’s here. “I don’t want your petty vase. Thanks, but no thanks, Jett.”
She turns to leave, but I grab the vase. “It’s not about the fucking vase, Harper!” I boom, throwing it over her head and making it shatter against my closed office door.
She jumps with a scream, whipping around to face me again with fire in her eyes. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” she screams. “That could have hit me, you idiot!” she adds, closing the
distance between us and shoving my shoulders.
I roll my eyes. “Trust me, if I wanted to hit that pretty little head of yours, I would have.”
“Have you lost your mind?” she asks and goes to shove me again, but I grab her arm, twisting it behind her back, and pull her between my legs, my other hand going to her throat to tilt her face up.
Running my nose up the side of her neck, my eyes close as I let her scent of coconuts and sunscreen and sunshine fill my senses. “No, baby. But I lost my heart a long time ago,” I whisper in her ear.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Harper
What the fuck is wrong with me? I came here to tell him to shove his stupid, heartless gift up his ass, thinking that that was a good idea.
Now, instead, I’m standing between his legs, feeling his erection through his pants as he holds me hostage in his hands, my underwear soaked. And I’m fighting the need to let out a moan from how it’s making me feel.
His hand on my throat grips tighter for a second, and my eyes close with a whimper before he loosens his hold. My breathing picks up as his hand slides down my sternum, stopping at the top of my cleavage, hand flat against my skin.
I feel his tongue flick against my earlobe, and then he nips at my jaw. The hand that feels like it’s burning a trail moves up again, this time ending with his fingers at my nape and his thumb brushing against my bottom lip.
I’m standing here, unmoving in his hands, my one arm still pinned behind me while the other hangs at my side. My fingers twitch to touch him. To pull him into me more so I can unashamedly rub against him the way I want to.
But I don’t.
Because I know the second I give in and return everything he’s giving me, it’s all over. I’ll give him everything. And I know that it will be explosive and amazing. Years of pent-up anger and frustration and yearning.
I Kissed Her First: A BOUND TOGETHER NOVEL Page 15
