“I don’t hate you, Harper. I could never hate you,” he says softer than he should as he walks around the kitchen island to where I am.
“I’m so sorry,” I say again, begging for his forgiveness.
He unexpectedly pulls me into his chest, hugging me to him. “I know,” he says before kissing me on the head. I hold on to him tightly, not wanting to let him go, but knowing I have to.
“I need to go. Vi is meeting me at my house soon. I need to tell her to call everything off.” But we don’t move, standing there holding each other for a little longer. “Will you be okay?” I stupidly ask when I look up at him.
He huffs out a laugh with a shrug. “Enough.”
“Don’t say that. You will be, and one day you’ll find someone who fits with you perfectly and loves you the way you should be loved, Theodore Tomlin.”
“The third,” he adds with a smirk. “Don’t forget to add that or else you’re talking about my granddad, and that’s just weird.”
“My bad.” I smile sadly.
He bends and kisses me softly on the lips, lingering a few seconds before pulling away. “You broke my heart, Harper.”
“I think I broke both of our hearts.”
He walks me to the door, and after one last hug, I leave Teddy’s house to walk back to mine, feeling lighter than I did when I woke up this morning. As much as it sucks, I know this is the right thing to do.
Violet is already at my place when I walk inside. After I calm her down from yelling at me for my puffy eyes and terrible hair, I tell her we’re canceling the wedding.
I expected her to be more surprised than she is when I tell her everything, but I guess it turns out everyone knew except for Teddy and me that we weren’t made for each other.
Not even after how much we tried to be enough.
Chapter Thirty
Harper
My sister became my hero today in more ways than one. After she volunteered to break it to our parents, she called everyone else that needed to be notified while I told Gabby and Tristan.
Now it’s almost ten at night, and I’m staring at a beautiful wedding cake sitting in the middle of my foyer while I sip on the wine we had specially picked for the day. (I have fifty cases of it in my guest room at the moment.) Turns out it was too late to cancel a couple of deliveries, but we could redirect them.
“So, are we going to eat it, or are you just going to keep staring at it?” Gabby asks, walking up next to me. She rests her head on my shoulder as we both stare at the four-tier cake in front of us. She came over right after I called her this morning and hasn’t left my side since.
Stepping forward, I swipe my finger through the perfect frosting and rub it down her cheek. Her open-mouthed surprise makes me bowl over laughing, but my laughter stops when I feel cake being shoved in my face.
Standing up, I lick at my lips. “Yummy!”
The two of us start digging into the cake with our hands, half eating and half throwing it at each other. We’re laughing and screaming, and there is cake all over my house as we slip and slide on the tile floor now coated in buttercream.
We stop when we hear the doorbell ring. Wondering who it could be, Gabby walks to see while licking her fingers clean. But she opens the door and then quickly slams it shut with her back plastered against it.
“What was that about? Who is it?” I ask.
Her tongue runs along her top teeth a second before the doorbell rings again. Stepping away, she looks at me and says, “You should get that. I’m going to go shower and call my cleaning crew to come clean this up before I head home.”
“O-kay,” I say, confused as she runs off laughing.
Shaking my head at her, I open my front door to find the last person I thought I’d see here today. My heart hammers and my stomach does flip-flops when he smiles at me, looking almost shy and adorable.
“What are you doing here?”
“You didn’t get married today,” he states instead of asks.
“No, I didn’t.” I swallow my nerves and then stupidly ask, “You want some cake?”
His laugh is loud and perfect as he closes the space between us, pulling me into him and kissing me. He licks at my face and neck, making me giggle as he pushes us inside.
Jett
I woke up this morning feeling like my heart was ripped from my chest.
I’d left Harper at the airport to fly back to Teddy. To go be his wife in happy matrimony.
Except I couldn’t let her go.
No matter how much I told myself I could throughout the night as I downed drink after drink.
So, I woke up this morning and booked a plane to fly me across the country to get my girl. I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I was ready to do whatever it was I had to do to convince her that she belonged with me, not him.
Then, I was halfway to North Caroline when I received a message letting me—a guest invited to the McCarthy/Tomlin wedding—know that it was canceled.
It was like it jump started my heart again. The same way Harper had the day before when she was in my arms.
I was giddy like a little girl waiting for my plane to land.
But when it did and I got into the car and we began driving to Wrightsville, I saw all the limos and town cars leaving, along with catering trucks and florist vans. I realized then that no matter how much I wanted Harper as mine, she’d had a rough day and I needed to give her time to heal.
I had the driver take me to the pier, where I sat for hours watching the waves. They were different on this side of the country from the ones in California. But they still held the same power to calm.
I watched as the sun went down and even walked along the beach for miles. Then it hit me all of a sudden, and I felt it. Her.
Serenity.
I had no idea what time it was, only that I needed to find the love of my life and tell her all of our plans from long ago were happening now.
When I looked up to see where I was to figure out which direction I needed to head to get to her house, I was already there, at her old house. I’ve never been one to believe in fate, but it sure felt an awful lot like it. Or maybe it was my baby girl telling me it was time to find her mamma.
When she opened the door—covered in cake—she was perfect.
She is who my heart beats for. The one my soul longs for. She is my whole world.
After showering all the cake off of us, we lay down on her bed and just were.
I didn’t push for anything more than kissing her and holding her tight in my arms. And when her breathing evened out and she was asleep, I knew it was right.
There is so much more to what Harper and I are than just sex. What we have is deep-rooted. We’ve proven that it is impenetrable. And I think we’ve both come to the realization that it’s foolish to try to fight it any longer. We only hurt those around us and ourselves in the process.
* * *
Waking up with Harper in my arms is better than anything else in this world. Burying my face in her neck, her hair all over the place, her coconut and sunshine smell filling my senses. Fuck, I can’t lose this again.
I give myself a few minutes to enjoy this feeling before kissing her on the cheek and sneaking out. I pull on a pair of shorts and head downstairs to start cleaning up the massive mess that was left.
Except when my bare feet hit the bottom step, the entire foyer is sparkling clean. I notice a small note left on the table by the door, and I lift it to read it.
Call this my gift to you.
A FUCK YEAH! You finally came to your senses.
Congratulations on calling off the biggest mistake of your life.
Enjoy your ride on the Jett plane.
XOXO
G.
Chuckling, I put the note back for Harper to see when she wakes up. Walking to the kitchen, I open her fridge to see what she has to make for breakfast. Spotting bacon, I pull that out, along with some eggs. I get to work frying up the bacon and find some bread and
get the coffee going.
“Fuck!” I yell as the bacon splatters and hits my skin. Hearing a giggle behind me, I turn to see the most beautiful girl in the world watching me in nothing but my shirt. “Damn. You are a vision.”
She blushes as she walks over to me. Wrapping her up in my arms, I kiss her soft lips with a hum because this is what I’ve dreamed of for years.
“You’re making breakfast?” she asks, surprised by what she sees.
Turning to look at the mess behind me, I say, “Attempting to is more like it.”
The doorbell rings, interrupting our morning greeting. Harper looks in that direction and then back at me. “How about I finish up breakfast and you go see who’s at the door. It’s probably just Vi coming to check on me.”
Pecking her on the lips once more, I step away from her, smacking her ass as I head for the door, making her yelp. With a smile on my face, I open the door to find Teddy standing there holding up two cups of coffee and a pastry bag, and my smile immediately falls.
I can tell he’s not happy to see me either. And I guess if either of us has a right to be upset about seeing the other this morning, it’s him, but it doesn’t piss me off any less that he’s here right now, ruining my moment with Harper. I know that’s unreasonable and he should be the angry one. But I’m selfish when it comes to the woman I want. The woman I need in my life.
His hard stare looks down, noticing that I’m only wearing gym shorts. “I didn’t know you were in town,” he grits.
“Yesterday,” I say, not giving him any more information.
He nods slowly. “I wanted to make sure she was okay and make sure she was eating.”
“We’re making breakfast now. But thanks,” I reply, taking the offered food and setting it on the table next to the note I found earlier.
I’m mad that he’s ruining this morning that I wanted to make so perfect. Yet, I know he has to be hurting. I know what it’s like to lose Harper, to see her happy with someone else. I’m pretty sure it would hurt less to be boiled alive.
“Are you okay?” I ask him after a second of us just awkwardly standing there. “Do you want to come in?”
“No, that’s alright,” he says quickly, then stops and looks like he doesn’t know what to do with himself.
“Teddy, look, I never meant—”
He holds his hand up to stop me. “I can’t do this right now. But I appreciate the effort. Just be good to her. Love her like she deserves, like she wants and needs because I’m pretty sure you’re the only one capable of it.” A small grin pulls on his lips and I want to ask what that’s about, but I don’t.
“I will. I do.”
He puts a hand out for me to shake. I look at his outstretched hand and then up to his face again. Clapping my hand to his, we shake and then embrace, slapping each other on the back, like the friends we used to be years ago.
“See you around, Jett,” he says as he turns to leave.
I watch him go for a minute before closing the door to go back to Harper. But when I turn around, Harper is looking at me with tears in her eyes.
“Oh, baby, it’s okay,” I tell her, closing the distance between us. I cup her face, wiping away her tears with my thumbs and kissing her lips.
“I didn’t want him to hate you. Or me,” she adds with a slight laugh.
“No one could ever hate you. You’re way too fucking loveable.” I kiss her cute little nose. “Now me? I’m a sonofabitch for stealing his girl. It’s okay if he hates me for a while. But the thing is, Teddy is too good of a man to do that.”
“You’re wrong,” she says with a smug grin, resting her chin on my chest, looking up at me.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yep. You said you stole his girl. But that’s not right because I was yours first.”
I kiss her. Fuck, I love this woman so damn much. I kiss her soft and hard all at once. Gripping her ass, I pull her up until her legs wrap around my waist. My tongue licks up her throat, and I bite into her bottom lip before kissing the hell out of her.
Breakfast forgotten, I carry her up to her bedroom. Laying her on the bed, I fall on top of her, our mouths never breaking until I pull her shirt off.
She shoves at my shorts to push them down. Lifting my hips, I help until her feet do the rest of the work, pushing them down my legs. Then, I remove her panties, and we enjoy the feel of our bodies together.
The way her soft breasts feel against my hard chest. Her hands fisting my hair, her nails drawing up and down my back. Her legs that wrap perfectly around my waist just like they used to. But it’s when I slide into her that everything feels exactly as it should.
Hitching her leg higher over my hip, I thrust deeper, making her cry out. I smile into her neck as I kiss and suck there, knowing that I’m hitting her in all the right places. Her hips move in sync with mine as I grind my pelvis against hers. Her moans getting increasingly louder from the friction.
I kiss down her chest to her breasts, stopping to suck a nipple into my mouth, my hand trailing down between our bodies. My fingers circle her clit as I keep moving. I pull back slowly only to push in hard and deep, driving both of us insane. Building up the fire between us, ready for the explosion to take over.
“Light the world on fire with me, Harper,” I say, staring down into her eyes. She jaggedly nods, and then we both explode together.
Slowing my thrusts, pulling every last ember from our pleasure, I kiss her passionately.
Pulling from her, I roll to my back, only to have her follow, wrapping around me again. Smiling up at her, I tuck pieces of her hair behind her ear.
“I love you, Jett. I don’t want you to question that.”
“I’ve never questioned your love for me, Harper. I couldn’t when I knew how much I loved you. And that kind of love can’t be one-sided.”
Laying her head on my chest, she asks, “What do we do now?”
“Uh, shower?” I joke, earning me a slap to the chest, making me laugh. I kiss her on the head. “I guess you need to decide if you could be happy with me in California or not.”
She’s quiet for a minute, and I’m beginning to think this isn’t going to end how I thought it would.
“I’d follow you anywhere.” She shifts up on her elbow to look at me then. “I’m ready to make a life with you. To make all the plans and dreams we had before come true.” Then she nervously bites into her lips and adds, “And start a family one day.”
I stare at her. This amazing woman.
“I love you.” I kiss her. “And who knows? Maybe we started that last part already since I didn’t suit up,” I add with a chuckle.
“I’m on birth control, but I wouldn’t be sad about stopping it.”
“Maybe we should practice more,” I say, pushing her to her back and settling between her legs again, my cock already hard and ready, sliding inside.
We spend the day lost in one another. Between rounds of sex, we talk. We talk about everything, just like we used to do. We plan and we dream and decide what our life is going to look like. Except we don’t have anyone stopping us from making it all happen this time.
Least of all, us.
Epilogue
Harper
Kneeling down on the soft grass, I kiss my fingertips and place them on the headstone in front of me. “I brought someone with me today. He missed the chance to meet you before, but he’s here now,” I tell our daughter as I reach for Jett’s hand. “Remember how I told you how much your daddy would love you because I knew how much he loved me? I was right,” I whisper with a smile.
Jett sits there, kneeling next to me, staring sadly at the place where our baby girl was put to rest, her name boldly etched into the marble. I watch as his finger traces each letter, hearing him sniff next to me.
I give his hand that’s in mine a squeeze. “You can talk to her if you want,” I encourage.
“I don’t know what to say,” he says honestly. “I fucked so much up when I left.” His hand flattens on the
stone. His head falls and his shoulders begin to shake as he lets go of his emotions. It’s both the saddest and most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed.
“It’s not your fault, Jett,” I try to soothe.
“Then why do I feel so guilty?” He looks at me, and what I see in his eyes is heartbreaking. “She could still be here with us if I hadn’t left.”
“We don’t know that,” I say softly. I’ve thought about it hundreds of times through the years, searching for someone to blame. But no matter where I placed it, it never made her loss hurt any less. I’ve learned to accept what happened and move forward because if I stayed in the pain and bad parts, it would have killed me. It almost did.
“If I’d stayed… hell, if I’d just picked up my phone to answer your calls, you would have been with me. The accident wouldn’t have happened, and she’d be here.”
I shake my head. “Even if we’d been together, I still could have gone to the fight and been in the same accident. We don’t know that things would have turned out any different. It’s not your fault, Jett,” I say again. And I’ll say it as many times as I have to until he believes it.
“You should hate me,” he says then.
“Are you dumb today? I can’t hate you. I never hated you. I tried to at one point, but it didn’t work,” I chuckle. “I’ve always loved you too damn much.”
Leaning his head against mine, he sighs. “I’m familiar with those feelings.”
“Are you done playing the what-if game and blaming yourself? Because I am. I did that with myself over and over after everything happened, but no good comes from it. So instead, I meditate and think about her when I feel the sun on my face. I remember what her little kicks felt like, and I picture her as a happy little girl running around in the clouds of heaven with curly hair and green eyes.”
I Kissed Her First: A BOUND TOGETHER NOVEL Page 19
