by Tiger Gray
Ashrinn lead him down one of the slopes after getting cleared at the gate. He tried to take in all the purple trees and orange bushes and pink flowers but he soon got overloaded and just focused on the grass under his feet. Ashrinn lead him to one of the lakes, hidden away in the trees. There were stone benches here still, as pretty as it had been when it was a tourist spot instead of one of the most important territories in White Eagle lands. He sat down, feeling heavy, and Ash perched next to him.
"They're sending the boys out to fight," he said. Maybe it was the sight of something so normal in the midst of all the chaos that loosened his tongue.
"What?" Ashrinn gave him a horrified look. That made Mal feel good, in a bizarre way, like he needed someone else to confirm how completely fucked up it was. Ashrinn tugged him over to a bench and sat him down on it before sitting down next to him. Ashrinn took his hand and Mal let him. There was no one here and they both needed the comfort.
"Yeah. They're both full mages, technically." The fact that Reth hadn't graduated didn't seem to matter, what with the Collegium parting ways with the Order before his youngest son could pass his finals. "Don't have the luxury of having them sit at home."
"By the divine, Reth is barely seventeen."
"Guess we ought to be grateful Rosi is still too young."
"Malkai," Ashrinn said, "I'm so sorry." Ashrinn squeezed his hand in a show of support, and he felt his throat close up with tears. Years of absorbing the message that men don't cry kept him from letting them happen, but he couldn't find his voice, either. "We'll get Liu and Coren back. You'll see. And Reth and Vhar will be fine."
Mal felt like an asshole, being this upset when Ashrinn was finding some way to stay positive. Ashrinn going on this dangerous as hell mission didn't sit well with him, either, and he could remember all too clearly what that had been like back in their Unit days, an operative taking off on an assignment and everyone wondering if they'd see that guy again.
Mal wanted to tell Ashrinn about all his feelings then, how he'd figured out he was in love with Ash and had been for years, probably, but he didn't know how to do it. That just made him more upset and pink in the face, which pissed him off more. Ashrinn took pity on him and gave him one of those looks, like he could see right through all of his bullshit. Mal had never been comfortable with how much insight Ashrinn had, but this time he was pitifully grateful for it.
Ashrinn slipped an arm around his shoulders and for once, Mal let himself huddle into that protective embrace instead of fighting to stay tough. He hid his face against Ashrinn's shirt and the feel of Ashrinn's hand in his hair nearly made those tears come after all. His thoughts scattered and winged away like a flight of birds and he did his best to live in the moment for once.
After this, they were all out of moments.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Liu had lost track of how long she'd spent in the Cult's tunnels. She preferred it that way, the sense of timelessness, like she'd had no life before now. There was a certain peace to being suspended in amber.
She enjoyed walking through the complex, and not just because the other Cultists revered her. The children all loved her, and she liked it best when they all clustered around, trying to touch her hands as if that would give them good luck. Once she ascended and the God manifested fully, nothing would ever hurt those children again.
Her heart ached for the ones who had lost their parents in the fighting. She wanted to tell them that soon it would all make sense, when they saw the glory of the Lord. She heard the echoes of laughter as she made her way to one of the smaller worship rooms and that comforted her. At least they could still find some happiness, even with the Order hammering at their door every day.
If only they'd been able to get to the sacrifice. This could have ended so long ago, if he would just realize his destiny and come to them. She still thought he might. Now she knew that the fear she'd felt about him in her old life had been misplaced, that it had been his wife trying to bargain with her betters for powers she didn't deserve. How could someone who didn't believe expect such favor?
Liu felt darkness settle on her soul and for a moment she tasted bile, remembering Rosi's night terrors. Now she suspected that Kiriana had been behind it all. It bothered her that she didn't know where Kiriana had gone, after the Cult had repelled her for her duplicitous ways.
She shook it off as best she could. Now she could see the kindness the sacrifice had shown her, how he had always known she was special, destined for greatness. He would come. She could feel it. And once everything came to fruition, she would gather her old family into this new one and keep them safe forever.
Coren turned towards her as she walked into the worship room. It was intended as a semi-private place for the devout to reconnect with the Suffering God, praying in solitude for guidance. Old blood stains darkened the floor; the Cult had always known the inherent power in blood, and many among them had the will to direct that, praying for a yet closer connection with the God.
Coren worried her, despite the jolt of energy she received from just standing here. The God sang to her all the time now, driving her towards her ultimate goal. Coren should have been elated, grateful to be included in her transformation, humble at being the God's human steward. Instead, she thought he looked ill all the time now, a sickly green sheen over his eyes when they should have been depthless black, showing his bond with their lord. His soul blade never sat on him quite right, either, as if it and him were both trying to pull away from the other.
She went over and slipped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest. She liked that he was taller than her. Even if he was skinny like his dad, it still made her feel protected. She thought he felt tense but couldn't fathom why. His arms still came around her in return, so maybe it was all right after all.
"Are you all right?" Maybe the stress was getting to him. It would be like Coren to worry that he was unworthy. He always second guessed himself even when as far as she saw it he was more than ready to tackle a problem or bear up under pressure.
Coren watched her for a while without speaking. A couple of years ago she would have worried about what his silence meant, mind whirling with half formed pictures and garbled words, a million thoughts about nothing. Now she felt one thought at a time, able to feel all its corners and borders without getting overwhelmed. Another gift of the God's.
"Why not your dad, Liu?" he rasped, shoulders hunched. His doubt took the power from his voice and alarm beamed through her like a light.
"He doesn't satisfy the God's requirements!" she said, taking a shaky, involuntary step towards him. She knew she sounded shrill and that just made her more upset. For a moment she felt as bad as she ever had before the God had claimed her, but a moment later His song hummed in her brain and she took a deep breath. "You know that."
He walked away without a word. She followed, anxious to figure out what was going on with him. He didn't protest her presence but he didn't speak, either, and they walked beside one of the green-black rivers welling up from the bedrock in silence.
Lately she'd noticed Coren was drawn to the main chamber, where the God's altar waited. The God's presence could be felt here the strongest, since this was the portal He would use to enter the world, once the sacrifice bled on that stone slab. She took it as a good sign, that Coren heard the call so often.
Their booted feet crunched on the pea gravel scattered across the floor; those who had not yet taken the God shard into themselves were made to suffer until they heard the calling, and often knelt here until their knees were raw.
"I thought he was hurting her," Coren said, stopping before the altar and gazing at it, "Mom and Dad I mean. She always acted afraid around him, or too happy, you know? Like she was hiding something."
Liu felt a static shock crawl up her arms, secondary stress on Coren's behalf. Discovering that Kiriana had been trying to play them all for her own selfish ends had been devastating for him. She wondered if that was why he looked
ill lately. Coren turned to face her, and for the first time that day she really saw the dark circles under his violet eyes, set back far in his face now as if he were starving. She could tell the God shard did not sit easily within him, but she had always thought that was simply because he couldn't fully accept such power until the God came through and made them both whole.
Now, she wondered.
"But I was wrong," Coren told her. "Wasn't I? I had it all backwards."
"The sacrificial mark has already been made," she said, trying not to panic. This kind of talk from Coren unsettled her in a way she hadn't felt in years. "You know that. What's wrong with you? The God chose Ashrinn and so it has been done. Even if your mother acted for her own ends the God used her anyway, to further His greatness. It's all according to His plan." She reached for him, but he stepped back and out of her hold.
"Doesn't it bother you? The thought of all this?"
Liu felt the color wash from her face as her heart went still. Such doubt! Not now, when they were so close to fulfilling their destinies. She stepped towards him again and touched his face, trying to show her sincerity. He shivered under her fingertips, and she felt the God shard within him respond to her. A subtle lust kindled in his gaze and she knew she could lull him then.
"It's an honor to die on our God's altar," she said, pitching her voice to the soothing motion of the water in the pool nearby, the green-black water surrounding the stone slab that was the key to the God's manifestation. "He was always so kind to me, I see that now. Maybe he could sense our destiny."
For a moment she thought she had convinced him. His features had gone neutral, as if he were thinking deeply. A moment later, though, the moaning of the undead shock troops in the tunnel below reached them, and anxiety pinched his face again. Once more she felt him close off from her.
"Of course, Liucy," he said, voice hollow. "You've always been special. Especially to me."
Was it the undead that were making him so uncomfortable? But why? The water had brought so many to them as it had slowly transformed reservoirs and rivers and wells, and those who could not master and accept the taint were given to the necromancer. She thought there was a beauty to that, that those who were weak could still serve in some way. Couldn't Coren see that too?
Coren turned to look into the pool once more, then took the steps up to the altar itself. He laid his palms flat on the stone and Liu watched him, hoping and praying that Coren would accept his role in all of this. When it became clear that he wasn't planning to move any time soon, she left him as quietly as she could.
She couldn't begrudge him some nerves, when he was so close to being transformed by their Lord's manifestation. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that something other than the God's power had taken root in her lover's soul.
* * *
Ashrinn paced the war room, hating that he couldn't help but show his nervousness but wound so tight there was no other option. Now that they had the makings of a plan, anxiety knotted his shoulders and made him clench his teeth.
Not the least of it was that Kiriana could still be working with the Cult, though he reminded himself for the hundredth time that all of their information so far said otherwise.
Not as clever as you think you are, Kir.
It gave him a kind of sick satisfaction to know that she'd tried to deceive and use the Cult, only to be deceived and used in return.
Except Coren and Liusidris paid the price.
Rather than entertain that thought process any further, he turned, facing the group waiting on his orders. "You're sure about the location of these tunnels?" he asked Lizbet.
The Storm and necessary others were crowded into the middle floor of the White Eagle headquarters. Ashrinn found the choice of room particularly appropriate, considering it was where he and Sonth had been first introduced to the demon motivating their enemies. Lizbet nodded, meeting his gaze. She was uncharacteristically serious, and that more than anything gave Ashrinn pause.
"A dryad, she never lies," Lizbet informed him. "The demon hides many things from me and my sisters, but the earth cries out to be cleansed. If we dryads listen close enough, we cannot help but hear, now that we know what to look for."
"Sir," Natalie said, standing at attention against the far wall, "my birds say the same, though it is difficult to interpret their information."
"Too bad you can't do rats," Malkai said, looking haggard. "They'd be a hell of a lot more useful in a warren."
"The Phantom Queen does not see fit to give me gifts that involve vermin." Natalie cracked a rare smile, albeit a smile with a thin coating of hoarfrost. "I am sure you can see why."
"I hate going in blind," Ashrinn growled. They could only find the tunnel entrances. The demon's influence had shielded the whole place from foreign intrusion, and there was no way to get the shard of demonic energy that would have let them pass without losing one's mind in the process. It was especially maddening because the idea of tunnel warfare didn't inspire confidence. Far too easy to get disoriented, lost, separated from each other, and unceremoniously picked off by enemy forces.
The plan to destroy the Cult's power base was therefore as simple as he could make it. Ashrinn was experienced enough to know that simple was both advantageous and dangerous. On the one hand, the fewer working parts, the fewer chances for malfunction. On the other, some people did not deal well when unexpected circumstances inevitably arose and they hadn't been specifically schooled about what to do. He wasn't worried about his own team --- that was their specialty, after all --- but everyone else...?
He went over it again in his mind. It alleviated the anxiety tinged boredom that every combat soldier knew only too well, the damnable waiting to be shot at or mortared.
The Storm proceeds inside as the infantry above ground assembles and attacks. Four main tunnels. The dryads collapse all but one behind us. We will be followed by a group of our strongest paladins, who will --- divine spirit willing --- close the door on the demon. If that fails we'll default to good old fashioned ordnance. If we're successful, Natalie will let the white eagle loose as symbol of victory.
He pressed his palm to the breast pocket of his flak jacket. All of that magic, and cyanide pills were still the gold standard of suicide measures. He wasn't a good enough healer to stop his own heart under stress. "Malkai," he said, "will you let Lord del Sar know we're ready?"
Mal lifted his head. His red hair stood out against his pale skin, hair as perfectly groomed now as it had been back in his early military days. Ashrinn could well imagine the obsessive hand Malkai had taken to himself that morning. They weren't all that unalike in that respect, trying to cultivate a sense of being in control through how they presented themselves.
Ashrinn knew that Malkai felt stress, worry, all the human things one was expected to feel in combat and waiting for combat. But he saw something else, now. Malkai was afraid.
Ashrinn swallowed hard around a knot of answering fear, remembering all too well the alley he'd nearly died in back in Tikrit. That was the last time he'd seen that look on Malkai's face. Sometimes, in dreams, he couldn't get away from it.
Malkai stood and nodded, though his expression, Ashrinn thought, had a sliver of resentment in it. His neutral tone hadn't been good enough. He'd let Malkai know he was being shut out of something.
"Team," he said, letting that note of command creep into his voice, "assemble."
Gerolt and Jericho were leaning against each other on the floor, dozing, though they roused when he spoke. Gerolt had guns and gun cases around him --- it was his habit to check and re-check everyone's gear, and no one could handle a gun's respective parts better --- while Jericho wore her full stealth suit save for the gloves. Sonth had gone from serious to grim, her eyes already shadowy fields as she gathered and stored power for the coming fight. All three women had their hair tightly and perfectly braided, making them look severe, predatory. Everyone wore an expression that meant pure business.
> Ashrinn took a moment to speak, studying each face. Gerolt looked at him with respect, and that alone lifted his spirits. He'd done well, then, in at least this one thing. Daniel, quiet and thoughtful since the accident, sat nearby and a pain started under Ashrinn's breastbone, thinking about how Daniel had recovered just in time to get thrown into the fire again.
"I don't have to tell you that this is a dangerous mission," he said. "I don't have to tell you that the likelihood of death and failure is high. But I also know that you are the best specialist fighting force the magical world has ever seen. I know that you could stand up against Unit guys who have been doing it for twenty damn years and come out as good, if not on top.
He paused and drew a breath. "A lot of you came from places where no one believed in you. Some of you even came from places where you were thought of as a danger, maybe as something better put down for the good of everyone."
All of them sidled closer to one another in a show of quiet solidarity.
"But you've shown everyone that they were wrong. Not only that, but that if it weren't for each and every one of you, this Protectorate wouldn't be what it is today."
"You are all, all of you, forged in fire as much as any paladin. I won't reassure you that we'll win, but either way I know this: people will tell your stories because you never faltered, even if it meant death."
"Permission to speak, sir." Jericho stepped forward.
"Granted."
"We're great because of you. I don't want to get all sloppy about it, but no one else would have given me a shot."
Sonth nodded in agreement.
"Let's face it, we all came here like mangy mutts who couldn't find a home," Jericho continued. "And some of us were straight up unpleasant."
Gerolt pinched her, but she only grinned.
"Yeah, all right," Gerolt chimed in, "What the hell."
