It made her jump a little, an uneasiness she wasn't able to suppress.
Bastion noticed. He put his hand on her shoulder.
"I think we're going to have to watch a few doggie training videos. I'm no good at making him behave on walks," Tess said. "Maybe a body harness instead of a collar, too."
"Have a good walk," Ashley said, opening the door for them again.
Bastion stopped by his shoes and slipped his feet back into them. Tess hadn't taken hers off, so she simply walked outside the door. "Thanks, Ash," she said to her sister.
"Bye," Ashley replied.
Bastion followed her down the stairs. "Hey, where's your brother?" he called out from beside her.
Tess was confused for a moment about why Jason would be expected to be following them, until she looked over to her right and saw Kade walking up.
"He's parking," Kade said. "Is this Sneakers?" he asked.
Sneakers barked an affirmative.
"Do you want a treat?" Kade asked, bending over with something in his hand that he pulled from his leather jacket.
Sneakers yanked her towards Kade, huffing against the restraint of the leash again.
"Heel," she tried.
Bastion laughed. "I don't think it works like that. You do not have the same power as a doggie treat."
Kade straightened up with an apology, still holding the treat out and letting Sneakers grab it from his fingers when they reached him. "Sorry, I didn't think. Is it okay if I pet him?" Kade said, checking with her.
"Of course, although be careful. He nips sometimes. He's not much for strangers."
Kade's fingers got a lick, probably because Sneakers was looking for another treat. "I love dogs. I bet War's going to go apes over him. He's so cute."
"He has a Shepard-mix, right?" Tess said.
"Yeah, his mom picked their dog out from the pound. Isn't that where you said you got Sneakers?" Kade said.
"Oh, no. Well, not like I adopted him. Sneakers was ours—my mom's pet—and he was in the pound temporarily when she got... uh, sick. So I was just picking him up today. I had to wait until I got the release fee together and they make you bring in something proving it's your dog, like a vet record or a city licence."
The latter hadn't been up to date, which was so like her mother to skip paying for things that weren't what she considered necessary. It was only an issue if the licensing people caught you, and most of the time they were too busy with other things to bother people with pets unless they got a complaint from a grumpy neighbour. Tess had to dig further into her scant funds to pay for a dog license before the pound would release Sneakers.
"Oh," Bastion said. It seemed he hadn't understood fully, either.
"He's been with my mom for five years," Tess said. "He usually sleeps in her bed so I'm sure he's going to be lonely."
"Where is your mom?" Bastion asked.
Tess felt those butterflies kick up a storm of swirling wings inside her.
Normally, she used to tell people her mom was sick if they asked about her absence, like at a school event. They would assume her mom was sick at home with a cold or something trivial, but not that she was in the hospital. And if she told them her mother was in the hospital, then they would assume it was some serious physical illness or that her mother was even dying.
Mental health problems like her mother's bipolar disorder were as serious, a lifelong illness with flares that waxed and waned, one that could lead to death, but nobody perceived them that way with all the stigma attached to mental health once they heard why her mom really was sick and in hospital.
Looney bin. That was what people thought even if they didn’t say it out loud. Mad Maddy.
"She's sick," Tess said, refusing to elaborate.
"Sorry to hear that," Bastion said. "Anything we can do to help?"
"Nope,” she answered.
Her curt answers must have gotten through to them that she was feeling awkward talking about her mother.
"Okay, ready for the park?" Bastion said.
"The one across from the convenience store?" Tess said, guessing. It was the nearest one she had noticed. There was a kids' playground, too, which she didn't know how well that would go over with Sneakers. All those running kids were going to get him pulling at the leash again.
"Yes," Bastion answered. She resigned herself. It was probably where her mother walked him, too. Perhaps Sneakers had gotten used to the kids. She could always choose to walk the dog during less busy times of the day until she got better at controlling his leash-pulling habits.
"Let me text Keir and I'll come," Kade said.
He had been steadily feeding Sneakers treats from his pocket while they all talked. He pulled his phone out of the other pocket and talked into it once he thumbed it on.
Yeah, she was jealous. Nice phone.
The phone started flashing almost as soon as Kade sent his message.
"Keir says to wait for him. He's already parked."
He must have had to go to the overflow visitor parking at the back. Bastion had taken the last spot out front.
"Okay," Tess said, moving from foot-to-foot. She was antsy to get the walk over with and go back to the house. The goal had been to get the twins busy bathing Sneakers before the rest of the guys arrived.
That goal was looking less reachable by the second. Maybe she could get the guys all to go straight down to the basement when they got to the house and she could distract the twins with getting Sneakers’ bath ready.
"Hello Sneakers," Keir said as he jogged up to them.
Everyone greeted the dog first. Strangely, Tess kind of liked it.
"I've got treats for you."
"Only one," she said. "Kade already fed him his dinner in treats."
Kade scoffed. "It was only a few. He's just been sprung from the pound. Prison food is tasteless," Kade said.
She rolled her eyes. "Seriously, it was for a few days."
"Don't worry, Sneakers. War is bringing you some yummy food. He's also got a new ball for you. Do you like balls?" Keir asked. He was down on his knees in front of Sneakers.
Her dog was gobbling treats, definitely more than one. The toe-biter was awfully friendly.
"He likes to fetch," Tess said. "Is War going to be here soon?" she asked, admitting to herself that she was going back to the house with a crowd.
"War got held up a bit, so let's go ahead to the park," Keir said. He stood up and brushed off his knees, slipping Sneakers one last treat.
They were going to spoil her dog so bad. Good thing they were going on a walk. Sneakers was going to be a poop machine after all that food. She had brought a few little plastic bags for the doo-doo, not sure what to expect from Sneakers when she got him from the pound.
The leash pulling recommenced as soon as they crossed the road over to the park.
"He's excited," Keir commented.
"Yeah, he likes to chase things. Lots of kids with toes running around here," she pointed out.
"I can take his leash if you want," Keir offered.
"He needs a body harness," she said.
"War can pick one up if you want," Bastion suggested.
“He's at the pet store?” she asked. Was that why he was held up?
"War wanted to get the ball and a few toys after he heard that Sneakers had been in the pound. He said that he remembers how his dog was when they first got him. Rex had been abused and he was scared of a lot of loud noises and crowds. They kept him at home and gave him toys to play with until they could work up his comfort level for going on walks around people in public areas."
Kade was the one to tell her this. He sounded as if he had some first-hand knowledge of it, so perhaps he had been involved or friends with War at the time. She had worked in the humane society before and had some first-hand knowledge of what abused dog behaviour could be like, although she hadn't worked directly with the worst abused dogs.
Her mother had that special touch. She had been the one to introduc
e Tess to volunteering at their local humane society and that was where Tess had first seen the magic her mother could work with animals.
They had talked about her mother training therapy animals for sick people, but like a lot of plans, it had fallen through.
Her mother couldn't commit.
"Wow, that must have been hard on all of them. What made War adopt an abused dog?" Tess asked. They might not know, but she was curious.
"He said he wanted the dog that needed them the most. He read up on it and made sure that he and his mom were ready before they did the adoption. They don't adopt those kinds of dogs out to families that often, just farms or seniors without kids at home anymore. It's only War and his mom here, so they were a good fit for a special needs dog," Kade said.
She stopped walking and stared at Keir walking Sneakers, more like running with the dog. Didn’t seem Keir was any better at getting Sneakers to heel than she was, except he now had the room to indulge the scamp.
It was time.
The guys kept hinting at some deep stuff going on with them and if she wanted Kade to open up, she had to be willing to do the same. Besides, out of all the guys she had recently met, Kade had seen her at some of her most vulnerable. She could start with him.
“Can we talk?” she said, turning to look at Kade and Bastion. “About why a nice girl like me was at Kade’s juvie counselling?”
Bastion cleared his throat. “Want some privacy?” he asked.
He really was insightful. “For now, although I expect Kade will be texting you later,” she said.
“I won’t, not if you don’t want me to share,” Kade said. He stepped closer to her, making the words between them.
“No, I am okay with it. Might be easier, actually,” she admitted.
To outsiders, it could look like Kade was intimidating her. He was a tall, pierced punk wearing leather and standing too close for politeness, but to her, it was how it felt to be protected.
For a girl that was used to taking care of herself, she found it didn’t rub her as wrong as she would have thought it would. What Jason had done earlier must have affected her perception because she was fine with Kade displaying some alpha male tendencies.
She would put her foot down if he took it too far.
“I’ll go play with Sneakers,” Bastion said with a wave.
She took a deep, clearing breath. Kade spoke first.
“I killed my mother.”
Chapter 10
KADE STOLE HER WORDS. Her mind was always racing, she always had too much to say, but Kade’s confession ripped the thoughts right from her mind before she could speak them. She forgot about her own worries and instead focused on the dark eyes looking unblinkingly for her response.
He looked like he was going to break. Big and tough and fragile as glass. She knew without a doubt that this wasn't the first time he had told someone about his mother, and the look he was giving her now, the one that said he was ready for her rejection? It was because he already had been through the pain of being judged guilty.
She didn't believe it.
He needed to tell his story his way, so she let him know that she was ready to hear more but wasn’t passing judgment on what he'd already told her. She figured he wanted some sort of reaction, had expected shock or disgust.
She settled on sadness, grief and empathy.
“I didn't realize that you had lost your mother. When your father came to school today, I didn't even think that your mother wasn't present because she was no longer alive. It must be difficult for both you and Keir. Can you tell me more about what happened, if you feel comfortable?” she said.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly with the tension in his shoulders, almost dropping them in defeat. “Keir said you would ask questions.”
“Yeah,” she said. “I’m a talker and a thinker. Did you expect something else?”
“Slap my face and walk away?” he said with a short, bitter laugh.
“Who did that?” she asked, feeling herself get angry on his behalf.
He had lost his mother and someone had acted like that towards him when he was hurting? No way did she really believe he had murdered his mother. There was guilt draped over him but it looked like something others had blanketed him with rather than what he had bundled around himself.
Just look at his friends, all of them close as brothers. They had each other's backs. That kind of loyalty was something you earned. Kade couldn't be all that bad.
“My girlfriend slapped me the morning after she read it in the newspaper. I had gone to the school to pick up my books—we had to take some time off right after it happened—and she made sure our breakup was very public. Didn't want to tarnish her reputation with a drunk asshole that drove his mother into a pole.”
Kade was her age, still getting comfortable behind the wheel. Drinking alcohol while driving, what a terrible life decision, but his mother had been an adult, and the first question that Tess had was why she had let her son drive drunk?
Juvie counselling and no jail time? That didn't add up to murder or manslaughter. Even the best lawyers couldn't have gotten Kade off if he had really been guilty.
This was smoke and mirrors. The newspaper didn’t sell the truth but only what the public wanted to hear. Gossip was worse. She thought about the old couple at the psychiatry hospital. Was that what Kade had been dealing with in this community? At school? Even his ex-girlfriend?
“I’m glad you told me, that you felt comfortable enough share with me what others are saying about you, but I wish you would trust me with the truth,” Tess said.
She toed the ground with her runner. It was a bold thing to say. They really didn't know each other, and here she was, outright accusing him of lying to her about something so serious.
“And what part of what I told you do you think is a lie?” Kade asked.
There was something hopeful in his look as she peered back up at him, as if he was waiting for her to see through the lies on her own. Well, she wasn’t a mind-reader but she had learned to look deep. Her mother made fooling others practically an art and most of the time Tess had been able to read her, and the warning signs, good enough to get the help her mother needed before she did something she would regret.
“I think there’s more to it than what you told me,” she replied. “I don’t know which part exactly is a lie, but I feel like I’m hearing the version that went around the school and not the story you know to be true.”
“Pumpkin, you might just be the smartest girl I’ve ever met,” Kade said with a tight smile. He reached up and put his hand on her right upper arm, then tugged, gently asking...
She took the couple of steps separating them and wrapped her arms around his body, squeezing him in a hard hug. “My mom is at the hospital, involuntarily with psychosis,” she said against his chest.
“I kind of figured,” Kade said. “At least the admission part being involuntary, not why, although it was obviously something serious if she was in lockdown.”
“Did Ruby say something to War? He didn’t mention it to me but she’s been taking care of my mom and she brought you up.”
“Nope. She’s a professional. Did she tell you anything about me?” Kade said. He had returned her hug, though not as hard, and he hadn’t released her yet. It felt warm and reassuring and so good.
“That you needed a friend that didn’t scare easy,” Tess replied.
“But nothing personal?”
“No, nothing like that.”
“See, a professional. I promise you, she didn’t say anything to War. I’ll keep your secret too if you want,” Kade said.
She fisted his shirt on his back, arms still wrapped around him. “No secrets. Let’s promise not to lie and not to hide things.”
“Like friends?” Kade said.
“Musketeers,” she returned.
He laughed and it rumbled against her cheek. Finally, he relaxed his grip and she did too, letting go.
She
stepped back. “Tell me something about your mom, a memory. Tell me a new one every day. And sometimes, tell me more of what really happened. When you’re ready.”
He quieted while she made her proposal, face losing the humour that had lit it up a moment ago. “Okay,” he said.
“Should we see if Sneakers is done with his walk?” she asked, pivoting around to find the guys.
“They’re having fun,” Kade said.
War was throwing a bright orange ball, a gentle toss that let Sneakers catch it in his mouth, respecting his short leash. He must have arrived when they were talking and didn’t interrupt.
Keir had given the leash to Bastion and was seated on a boulder, staring at where Kade and Tess were standing. He looked so isolated and alone, nothing like the teasing boy she had met at school.
“Let’s go,” Tess said, reaching back for Kade’s hand.
Bastion whistled as they approached. “I told you they were making out.”
“It was a hug,” Tess said, dropping Kade’s hand. “Don’t be a jealous dick about it.”
Keir made a choking sound that turned into a laugh. “Burned by a Pumpkin, Prince Bastard. Isn’t that an ironic turnaround?”
“You were right,” Kade said to his brother.
“Of course,” Keir acknowledged. “He didn’t do it. Those fucking papers-”
“It’s between us,” Kade interrupted.
“I already know there’s a real story behind the story,” Tess said. “But Keir, I’m really sorry. Losing your mother is so awful.”
Keir blinked and she saw the wetness he was fighting.
“Hugs?” she suggested.
He leapt up from the boulder and squeezed her as good as his brother had, wrapping her in his grief and happiness at once. “Thank you,” he whispered against her shoulder. “Thank you for not believing those lies.”
“Your brother hasn’t told me the truth yet, but he promised he will slowly, one day at a time,” she explained.
“Sounds like Kade,” his brother said.
“Yeah, and if you want to talk?” she replied, giving him one more squeeze.
Impetuous (Victory Lap Book 1) Page 14
