“I think I should pick out a prize since I am an impartial observer and the judge,” Tess said, putting an end to it before they started bickering again.
“Agreed,” Kade said, releasing her.
“Fine,” Keir said with a pout.
“Do you want to pick out the prize now or do you want to wait till after one of us wins?” Kade asked. “I actually prefer a surprise.”
“As long as I get the prize for us, I don’t care what it is,” Keir said.
“We decide the prize at the end. I am the judge. We only buy things that are on my list. Those are the rules. Does everyone agree? “
Both of the guys said ‘yes’ and they on their way.
For a moment, standing between them while they joked about an upcoming hockey game against a rival school, Tess felt like they had already done this a million times. It was nice, domesticity that was in such contrast to her turbulent life lately. They were carrying out a simple chore together like an old, married couple. Except there were two guys and they barely knew her yet.
That was silly. Tess told herself to focus on the task at hand and not fantasies of a comfortable future, a friendship that she could fall back on.
Don’t count your chickens before your eggs hatch.
Kade grabbed one of the empty shopping carts and drove it in front of her, letting go, so she had no choice but to grab the cart and start pushing it herself. She knew this was going to be her role during their shopping trip, but really, she didn’t mind all that much. Whoever controlled the cart, decided what was going through the checkout.
“I’m gonna say out loud the things that I need and your name, and neither of you can leave to get your item until I say ‘go’ to be fair,” Tess explained. The guys nodded, both facing her and waiting for their first items.
“Bananas, Kade and oatmeal, Keir.”
They were ready to go but she made them wait a moment, enjoying their eagerness. Maybe a little competition wasn’t a bad idea. Even she was feeling the excitement.
“Go.”
They both took off, shoes squeaking on the floor and drawing more attention than Tess would’ve liked normally. But it was funny, and nobody screamed or yelled about it. Running around in the grocery store wasn’t a crime.
While the guys were busy getting what she asked for, she headed towards the dairy section, knowing that it would be at the back of the store and the furthest to reach. She figured by the time the guys finished their back-and-forth to get all the rest of the items on her list, all she would have left would be the milk, so it would work out perfectly with the timing.
Kade came back first with the bananas, probably because the vegetables and fruit were the first things in front of them at the door. Keir came back about thirty seconds behind his brother, panting with his own effort and tossing into the cart a bag of oatmeal.
“This time I want the easier one,” Keir said, accusing her out loud of giving him the harder item from her list.
She rolled her eyes. “I didn’t say the fastest one back would win, right? How do you know what criteria I’m using to judge?”
Kade laughed at his brother. “I’m sure she’ll deduct points for whining the loudest.”
Keir had an excellent glare but nothing to say back, for once.
“Keir, I want you to get avocado, just one and make sure that it is ripe. Kade, can you get me some gluten-free macaroni and a can of diced tomatoes?”
The guys took off running again, making as much noise as the first time but drawing a lot less attention. The other shoppers must’ve already figured out what they were doing and weren’t paying much attention this time.
As expected, Keir was the one to come back first this time although it was closer than last time, probably because she had asked him for something that was more difficult. To find a ripe avocado in a grocery store pile could sometimes be a Herculean task.
“Well, you guys are doing really good,” she said, trying to sound encouraging. Actually, it was nice to have them doing all the running around instead of her. It definitely was faster. And she didn’t have to do any of the heavy lifting, just pushing the cart around.
Keir surprised her by casually wrapping his arm around her shoulders and hauling her in for a quick buss on her forehead. He released her and smiled, eyes lighting up with amusement. “This is fun,” he said.
“Next item,” Kade said. “And I expect you to deduct points for Keir trying to bribe his way to a win.”
“You want to kiss Tess, do it,” Keir said, giving his brother a little shove towards her.
Kade looked in her eyes and she thought he was going to do it, his right hand coming up like he was about to grab her in for a kiss. He ran his fingers through her hair and cupped her jaw instead. “Make Keir pick out broccoli as recompense. He hates it.”
She smiled and that was exactly what she did next.
They kept on going and Tess picked up a few things as she walked the cart through the store. She noted that the gluten-free objects were quite a bit more expensive, but she was lucky that the store carried them at all. Her imagination and her knowledge of a gluten-free diet weren’t that good, so trying to make things that she normally would eat that contained gluten into a gluten-free meal would’ve been difficult without these convenience items. At this time, they were worth the extra cost. The vegetarian diet was also difficult to accommodate because she was trying to make sure she picked protein and healthy, calorie-dense foods for her growing and athletic brother.
As she had predicted, by the time she got to the milk aisle at the back, there wasn’t anything left for them to pick up around the rest of the store. She looked over the yogurt choices, searching for the Greek type with a little coffee bean on it that she really preferred. It was cappuccino flavoured and it tasted decadent when frozen.
“Are you Maddy’s girl?”
Tess turned around. There was an older woman, probably a good decade or older than her own mother. She was dressed pretty casually in sweats and had her hair in a ponytail. It looked greasy, dark against her scalp and bleached blonde at the ends. She shuffled from foot-to-foot as she waited for Tess to respond, and there was a fine tremor in her hand holding the litre of orange juice. A bright smile was plastered on her face, the kind that you reserved for when you greeted a little kid or a cute pet.
It was fake as hell.
Beware the teeth behind the smile.
“Who are you?” Tess asked, not sounding friendly at all. She felt thrown off with a stranger suddenly talking to her.
“You’re Maddy’s girl, aren’t you? Look just like her.”
That was a lie. Her mom was a blonde, taller and usually perkier when her moods weren’t in a downswing. The only thing they had in common were their eyes. This woman had approached her from behind so that wasn’t how she made the connection.
“Yes, Madeline Sinclair is my mother. How do you know her?” Tess answered, refusing to give the lady any extra information about her.
“We work together. How is your mother doing? I heard that she was sick and that’s why she hasn’t been at work the last few days?” the lady said, obviously fishing for information. She didn’t look that well herself. There was sweat on her brow and she was pale, thin in the face. Maybe it was a fever darkening her hair at the scalp and not because it was unwashed?
Or was it withdrawal? Tess knew the signs and it hardened her against the strange lady. Her mother was sober, still attended her AA meetings and she had never touched drugs.
Her mother also didn’t have any friends that Tess knew. That was pretty common amongst people that had bipolar and other serious mental illnesses. It was hard to make friends, and if she did make friends, those friends were hard to make stick. Friends could only take the ups and downs of her illness for so long before they got fed up and deserted her.
This wasn’t a friend, this was a gossip. And Tess hated gossiping.
“Yeah, my mom isn’t at work. I’m busy shopping right
now, so I’m sorry, but I’ll have to go. I’ll tell my mom that you’re asking after her. What’s your name?”
Keir and Kade came back as Tess asked for the stranger's name, putting their final items in the cart. Tess didn’t bother to introduce them but she did notice the look that Marie, as she introduced herself, gave both of the twins and it wasn’t nice.
She would remember the name and the look.
Quickly making an exit, she drove the cart down the last aisle like it was a race and Tess had to be the winner, sliding to a park right in the shortest line. She kept staring at the items in her cart while she waited her turn, mind turning over every word of her conversation with the stranger.
“Who was that?” Kade asked.
“Nobody,” Tess answered.
“Did she know you?” Keir asked.
“She knew my mom,” Tess said.
“Are you okay?” Kade asked. He was observant enough to notice that she was unsettled.
It was their turn. She started unloading the items from the cart with the guys' help.
“I don’t like to talk to strangers and I don’t know that lady. She was asking about where my mom is, and I don’t want to tell anybody.”
“Well, that makes sense. It’s not any of her business anyways,” Keir said. “Your mom would tell whoever she wants to know on her own, wouldn’t she?”
“She probably hasn’t told anybody. There’s a lot of people that would hold her illness against her.” Tess talked really quiet because she didn’t want anyone to overhear her speaking to the twins. There was so much stigma around mental illness. Kade would understand. In fact, he nodded as she spoke, and she knew he was thinking exactly the same thing as her: keep it quiet and protect her mom.
Kade already suffered from everyone knowing his own business and Tess was sure he didn’t wish that upon anyone else. The bullying at school seemed like the tip of the iceberg. Between the Watsons at the hospital and even this stranger, Marie, right now, it was becoming obvious that Kade was a pariah in town.
Tess quickly paid for the food, wincing a little over the price of all the special foods for the twins’ diet, but still paying it. She was going to have to be more careful with her budgeting next time. The monthly check had been cut down because their mom was in the hospital and they weren’t getting money for her food. The social worker was a real tight-ass about things.
The guys got all of the groceries into the back of the SUV with ease. She imagined what it would have been like if Bastion had been the one to take her shopping. His luxury car wasn’t built to be carrying a week’s worth of groceries.
War was the first one Tess saw when she got out of the SUV. He actually met her at her door and opened it, then reached in and gave her a hand that she gladly took. He was strong enough that it was easy to pull her out of the car.
“Did you guys buy out the grocery store?” War asked. “Kade and Keir have such big appetites and they like all sorts of fancy, weird things.”
“You’re one to talk,” Kade said, grabbing some stretched full bags from the back. “You like to eat so much that your mom has to use two grocery carts every time she goes shopping.”
“Growing boy,” War admitted, flexing a bicep.
Tess managed not to drool.
Keir snickered at her anyway, clearly catching her staring.
“Hurry up and grab a bag instead of laughing it up over there,” Tess ordered.
All the guys took one bag each and then Tess didn’t have anything left for herself to carry inside the house. Bastion had come out and looked twice in the trunk to make sure there wasn’t anything else, and then looked up at her. She shrugged. Then she decided she better say something before he did.
“I only needed enough food to get us through until the weekend, when I can have more time to plan things out. The kids are eating weird stuff, just like Kade and Keir from what I hear.”
Bastion gave her a look that let her know he hadn’t been fooled. She decided to look away from him and concentrate on getting one foot in front of the other to get them all into the house. As long as Bastion didn’t say anything, she was going to pretend that he had fallen for it anyway.
Talking about her lack of funds wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have with any of them yet, even if it was patently obvious.
“How was your mom doing?” War asked, being polite. It was a good distraction from Bastion’s developing glower.
“She was doing better overall. Your mom took really good care of her and she made sure that Doc Mike talked to me today to let me know how my mom was doing and what the plans are with her medications. This admission has been a bit different from her previous ones.”
“How has this admission been different?” Kade asked.
Tess opened the door and held it for everyone else to go in before her. She took her time thinking about how much she wanted to tell the others about her mother’s past mental breakdowns and admissions. It was one thing to introduce them all to her mom, but to bring up the past when her mother‘s health had been even worse, before her mother had been diagnosed, when her father had taken advantage and had her mother forcefully confined...
No, Tess couldn’t go there with them yet.
“It’s just this catatonic state that they say she keeps going into that’s different,” Tess said, figuring saying something about this couldn’t hurt. “I never saw it, of course, but I didn’t get to see her until she had already been at the hospital for a few days. The kids said that she had been acting a bit more manic than usual, a little bit of a high but nothing that would’ve really gotten her admitted normally. The kids definitely didn’t say anything about a catatonic state. It has me wondering what’s really going on. Why she even was admitted? How did she end up getting to the hospital? Nobody’s really told me that part yet.”
Tess ended up revealing more to the guys than she had expected. It wasn’t about the past though, more about the questions she had now and couldn’t figure out on her own. The worries on her mind that kept her awake at night.
“Didn’t you ask Doc Mike what happened when you talked to him?” Kade said.
“No, we didn’t really get into it. There was a lot more to talk about what was happening right now instead of how my mother had gotten there. I did have some questions, but to be honest, I hadn’t written anything down because I didn’t know I was going to be able to talk to him. Next time, maybe I should write some questions down to be able to ask them to him.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” War said. “Do you want me to sit down with you after and we can write down some questions together? I can also give them to my mum and she can show them to Doc Mike, so then, he could give you a call when you have time and answer them for you. I know it’s hard for you to go down there when the doctor is working and talk to him in person because of school.”
“Sure,” Tess agreed, grateful that War was so nice about it. Others might think Tess was taking advantage of War’s connection through his mother, but Tess knew War genuinely wanted to help and would do the same for anyone else that asked. He was nice.
They started putting the groceries away under Tess’s direction. Unfortunately, her bare cupboards and fridge were obvious as they started putting the few groceries she had bought into them. She again promised herself that she was going to buy better supplies on the weekend. Even if she had to go into her funds that were meant for other things, she would do it because this was important. Food always came first, and her mother had never let them go hungry on purpose.
It had been her father that would knowingly let Tess starve.
She could see if there was a food bank nearby. There might be something listed online and she could always try asking the social worker, although that was definitely her second choice. She didn’t want them thinking she was already struggling to take care of the kids properly. They might decide she was wasting her money on frivolous things or didn’t know how to budget properly and judge her unfit. And i
f they got a look at her cupboards and all these gluten-free products and vegetarian diet, they would think some of that rightly. Tess knew they didn’t have the kind of money that afforded special diets.
Something was going to have to give, like the body-harness leash for Sneakers and the new pair of boots that Tess had wanted to buy.
The kids came down when they heard them all putting away the groceries. It was one way to get the kids to come down to see her.
“What do you have to eat?” Ashley asked. “Did you get anything for breakfast?”
“Did you buy any snacks for after school? Something easy for me to pack?” Jason asked, peeking through the cupboards.
Bastion answered for her, stopping her brother from spoiling his appetite with snacks. “I got stuff for all of you to eat for dinner so why don’t you help your sister set the table and I’ll go back to my car to get the food I bought?” Bastion said.
“You brought something?” Keir said, sounding surprised.
“Yeah, I thought you were going to be kind of late and tired after the day that you had yesterday, so War and I decided to bring over a pot of his chilli. We made it after school,” Bastion said. He made it sound like he had been personally involved in making their supper. Did Bastion know how to cook, too?
“Thanks, that was really thoughtful, Bastion. Luce, thanks,” Tess said, using War’s preferred nickname. It made him crack a wide smile.
“It’s in the crockpot we cooked it in so it would stay warm. We can plug it in here and I brought some cornbread that my mum made to go with it,” War said.
Chilli and cornbread? It sounded like something for Super Bowl Sunday, but to be quite honest, it was perfect for right now. Tess was too tired to want to really cook, and on top of it, the cold weather outside made her want to bundle up with something warm. A spicy, filling meal would be perfect.
Does it have meat?” Ashley asked, sounding a bit disappointed already. Tess thought her sister was the one eating gluten-free.
“No, it’s just full of beans and vegetables. My mum doesn’t make hers with meat and I followed her recipe. You can eat it without guilt,” War said.
Impetuous (Victory Lap Book 1) Page 27
