‘That sounds very human, to me. What I would expect. Many would hate the girl you imagine, just so. Hate, even for having a shade of skin they disliked.’
Savi whirled away, went to the wall, looked down on the city far below, no more than a wedged mass of stinking steam and lights between the clean white walls of snow. ‘Yes. Many would. But I can’t.’
‘So you do not think I am evil?’ The girl touched her shoulder awkwardly; almost as if she was asking for something. ‘I do not think so.’
Savi glared at her. ‘Well, I guess those who are evil probably don’t, not much. Most, they’re just selfish. They care for their own close kin and friends well enough, but they’ll shaft any other to suit themselves. But there’s some … Some that delight in causing pain. Some that destroy for the sake of destroying. Like your raider men.’
‘We did not create those desires within the Aikiya. We simply unleashed them. The problem has always been to hold them back, when it became necessary. Now we seldom bother. If you are to hate me for that, must you not first hate your own kind? Your men?’
It was naïvely spoken, with no apparent guile, but the shaft struck home. ‘They’re not all like that!’ flared Savi. ‘And some that are can learn better! You encourage them, instead! And there’s some stranger yet, most evil of all – the black hearts, the void hearts. They’ll do anything for a moment’s amusement, and they think they’ve a right to. They’ve no real feelings themselves, they only learn to imitate them, and they mostly think others are only pretending, too. They can be held back, as long as there are folk around them; but in your world? They’ll unleash all the evil you want, and laugh!’
‘This is true,’ said the girl quietly. ‘We have observed it, we make use of it. But it is an arcane matter of the mind. How does a village girl like you understand so much of it? It is not from book knowledge. You speak with deep feeling. And with more hatred than when you speak of me. You have known such a man.’
Savi turned to stare at her. One minute almost brainless, innocent. The next, a knife-sharp understanding. ‘You see rightly. I did. One who thought himself a hero. And therefore was one, to the outer world. But who had cruel longings he could not believe I would not satisfy. Who could not understand why I did not leap to his call, as other girls did. And who could not forgive me for seeing him as he was! As no other, even his enemies, did, his heart emptier than a black night. Vansha was his name; still is, I doubt not. He hurt my boy, maimed him, as if accidentally; but he did not fool me. I humoured him, because I feared he would do worse, and I am not proud of that. Yes, I should hate you more than him. But at least you are something wider, greater, however misguided you are; and you are eager to learn. Perhaps I can make you understand us a little better, at least. Maybe not hate us so deeply. But he is what he is; and him I hate most of all.’
The girl gave a sudden delighted smile, and seized her by the shoulders. ‘Savi, listen! I’ve an idea! If you want, I shall send the Ekwesh out for him alone, harming no other in your village, at whatever cost to themselves. And you shall torment him with your own hands, for weeks if you like! Or just strike him down.’
Savi drew breath sharply, and shook her head. ‘No. No, I thank you, I’m not like him! Or you!’
‘No.’ The girl sighed. ‘And not like most humans I have dealt with, till now. Even our princess might not have turned down such a chance. But since you wish to teach me, perhaps you can also come to understand me, a little better. Walk with me!’
The golden girl led her to the low stair at the balcony’s end. As they went down the wide stair, the girl still a little unsteadily, fighting the long dress the princess made her wear, she leaned on Savi once again, and that amazing hair brushed her shoulder. The sweet essences that dressed it sent a warm cloud of fragrance about her. Together, slowly, they made their way down through the many floors and levels of the strange building, most empty, some filled with arcane matters that were mostly kept behind doors locked, or simply melted into the wall. At last they came out into the colonnade behind the great hall, from which a few steps led down to the expanse of the floor. Heads lifted at the sight of them, servants busily scrubbing and polishing its surfaces; but the girl’s slightest look and gesture was enough to clear them away. Grabbing one another by the arm, they scuttled off, glancing fearfully back.
Savi was more interested by the hall itself, though in truth she was normally afraid of it. It never seemed the same twice, its colours and patterns subtly flowing and altering. And it never seemed wholly empty, or wholly still. Savi thought it haunted by flickering, floating presences, continually at the edge of sight, gone when she turned on them, however swiftly. It was as if life dwelt within its very fabric, that was so much like marble, and yet was Ice.
Now the girl was here with her, Savi felt no fear at all, but glanced about in curiosity, seeking what she could understand. The girl watched her, and smiled faintly. She made an offhand gesture. Suddenly colours were rushing through the pillars, one to another as if they were parts of a single surface, a radiant summer blue shot with scudding wisps of white. The speckled cream pattern on the floor shivered like a wind-blown pond, and became a mighty black device with four arms quartering a circle. Then it was a flooding pool of luminous grey-blue, shot with strange black shadows that grew by the moment more solid and more intricate. Even before they took their final shape Savi understood what she was seeing in that solidifying pattern.
‘The four quarters of the world!’ she said. ‘The words my father always used! Only now I understand than better! So much closer – and so great—’
She laughed with sheer delight.
‘Yes, that is the world,’ agreed the girl. ‘Not as it is—’
For an instant it became a globe, hanging in a vast luminous void within the floor, glowing against blackness; then it unravelled again, and was flat.
‘But as it is convenient to overlook it, for eyes such as I now possess. Behold!’
At either extremity of the circle a glittering point appeared. A blinding, crystalline whiteness flowed out from it, uneven but swift, speeding out across the solid black shapes of the land like caressing, cleansing hands. When the two brilliant fields had covered a quarter of the way to the centre, they stopped, pulsing, like eager dogs in the slips.
‘Yes,’ agreed Savi breathlessly. ‘I understand. The world, and your great realm within it. A wonderful toy to have at your command, this.’
‘It is not a toy, not a device as you would understand it. Sooner call it a part of me, as is all this palace. Within this nasty scrap of slime you call a brain, no matter how I improve it, I cannot accommodate a thousandth part of my memory, let alone my whole being. All the rest is here, at my call.’
Savi bridled. ‘But you are you! Not mere flowing lights in these icy walls! If you seek to live as a human, why cling to all this?’
‘Because I must.’ For a moment the girl’s voice seemed to resound around the hall, vast and cold. ‘Even as you see me standing before you, I am one of the Lords of the Ice, great among the great. I must still share in the immemorial effort of defending it.’
Savi stared at her. ‘Defending? The Ice is the attacker of all!’
The girl’s hands seized her bare shoulders. ‘Is that what you believe? Poor brief vessel of filth, oozing slime at every vent, what would you understand? Do you feel the very earth heave under the burden of our battlements? Do you feel the Undying Fires of Ilmarinen roil and blaze, scant leagues beneath our feet, and spurt out to confound us even within our walls? The waves of Niarad, that smash against our sea-cliffs? Do you feel the scouring winds and sun-warmed breath of the Daughter of the Air? Look there!’
The map was suddenly a mass of seething turbulence, over sea, land and Ice alike.
‘Those are the circulating clouds, that can bring snow to thrust us onwards. Those are the winds, that can carry our chill to the world’s heart, or cull its warm airs to hold us back. Winds, that can hide the sun’s light,
or release it to flay us. That is a constant battle, in which both sides must be forever vigilant! And it is not the only one. See there!’
The sea faded from blue to dull cream, as if the map stood now on fine parchment. Across the great fields of water, lines were traced about the world, swirling lines like black veins pulsing beneath ancient skin.
‘Those are the circulations of the waters, that men call currents. See how they play across our boundaries and coasts, constantly striving to pull back the water from which our battlements are built!’
The girl closed her eyes a moment, as if listening. ‘Earth, winds, waters, all are set against us – and fire most of all. You poor little creatures, the world you believe in and know of is a petty, narrow place! The real world is much greater, a constant warsong sung by heroes. An undying conflict, in which no side cares more about you than another.’
Savi made no reply, and the girl smiled sardonically. ‘Oh, indeed, some of our enemies will stop at nothing to curry aid, even from those who can least afford it. Calling themselves Man-friends and the like. Do not believe it! Oh, they may toy with you awhile, not scrupling to pander to your petty hopes and fears. They may dispense a few favours, toys and tricks. But in the end they care only for themselves. And what grudging help they give serves their own cause principally. They are not mad enough to trust humans with the least flicker of real power – any more than we would.’
Gently, almost tentatively, she laid a hand on Savi’s shoulder. ‘Whereas we do not hate individuals. Not one or another – not you. We pity you, poor blind helpless things with your little shreds of knowledge, your tiny pleasures and pains, your devouring fragilities and distresses. Your existence is not your fault; you did not ask to be born, to be raised up from the mindless beasts you were. Our quarrel is with those who would use you to usurp our ancient dominion and realm of purity, the austere beauty we shaped with our deepest being. Them – oh, yes, them we hate.’
Savi did not answer. She stared fixedly at the swirling patterns of sky and sea, in their dance of cohesion and conflict, held as if in deepest awe at the scale and majesty of the world.
The girl’s voice grew more insistent. ‘You may well admire it! For all this once was ours!’ Her voice was strong now, in that slender frame, almost a song of silver, or a rushing mountain-wind, or the voice of water splashing over sharp-edged rocks.
‘Ours! To fashion out of the void, out of the minutest dust, to shape, to steer, to colour, to make fair and to direct. To love. Oh yes, child of men, we know love! We love our long home as you love those dens of yours, as you love the filthy things you do inside them. Only a hundredfold more deeply!’
She leaned out over the map – like a young willow over a pool, thought Savi. Her voice became softer now, but darker. ‘Deeply. Deep as the aeons it cost us. And then we find our home, our gem, our perfection becoming contaminated, infected, invaded by a spreading disease, a shapeless corrosion called life! And that contamination we not only cannot cleanse, but are told must inherit all we have made! Told that we must relinquish our jewel, our home, to the first faint stirrings of mind among the consuming contamination. To see them ruin and waste and despoil it! Like the wretched seed of stinking apes that they are!’
The hand clutched Savi’s shoulder convulsively, painfully, like a sudden stab of cold. ‘How much more can the Ice lay waste, than you?’
The voice at Savi’s side was so terrible she dared not look at the face, lest it too had undergone some fearful transformation. She stared ever more fixedly at those patterns, flowing so freely across the vast gulfs. So Alya had been right, after all! There was the ocean, upon the coasts of this very land they stood on now – and across it there were other coasts, indeed, the gateway to other lands.
Far off, indeed; but surely, not too far to imagine.
And between them, one to another, ran the great veins of the ocean.
There, flowing right up along this very coast, there was a current! A great one that went swirling off out into the ocean, paralleling the southward face of the Ice itself, with the winds following it as birds follow the plough. And at the far side bending southwards once again, towards an island, or a group of islands; and not far beyond those, those unknown alluring coasts. A curving arch, a graceful shape; like the raised neck and head of a swan. Very like, with its last swirl for the beak; and the island for its eye.
A soft chill passed over her body, a breath out of unknown spaces. She knew little of ships, but she could imagine those winds driving some great craft onward, out into emptiness that would not, in the end, be empty. But she realised also that such a ship must have some sure way to find its direction, and keep it, once found; and that she could not imagine. Yet what the ancients surely had, the men of today could win once again.
The hand on her shoulder had relaxed. The breath by her side was calm.
‘Your power is vast, lady,’ Savi answered softly. ‘And your burden. I see now how little I know or understand of anything. Too little, perhaps, to judge you. Perhaps I can never know. Yet I am filled with wonder, and wish to learn.’
She turned now, and met a wide-eyed smile of innocent pleasure.
‘Yes! You seek knowledge, as we do! Oh, indeed, I was right to think you the best of the catch, better even than our lofty princess! You see, we are not so very far apart after all – are we?’ The nameless girl giggled. ‘Your mind is open, not shaken by fear. Apes I called you; yet I will allow a flash of worth among the common herd, now and again. Even of beauty.’ She leaned closer, confidential. ‘In fact, that’s how I wish to appear among your kind. Not as just any woman, but as such an exception, wise and searching. In teaching you, I will learn … oh, we’ll teach one another! Come!’
The girl stretched out her hand again, impulsively; then stopped. Savi winced suddenly, and cried out, only now realising that her shoulder was icy agony, that warmth was trickling down across her breast. The mark of a hand was bruised purple on to her skin, with something more than mere force. The nails had broken the skin where they touched, but it looked puckered and shrivelled. It bled only in one place; but it was bruised deep. Savi hastily pushed her fine gown down to keep the blood off it.
‘Oh, I have hurt you!’ breathed the girl. ‘I would never have done that by design!’ She touched the spot, as if wondering at the blood, let her hand rest upon it. The touch was gentle, the warmth welcome; but it seemed to start more blood. ‘Come, we must have that treated. No, I shall do it myself, as a punishment, to remind me! I forget things, I forget how fragile these bodies are. I need such indignities to fix that in my mind, I must punish myself to hold them in my memory!’
The idea seemed to amuse her, as she led Savi unsteadily along the corridor to her great chambers; and again she chased all her servants out with a single imperious gesture. ‘No! I shall salve you as if I were your handmaid, and you shall tell me how badly I do it! Threaten to beat me on my bare backside, for my clumsy service!’
In fact she was as fine and gentle a handmaid as Savi could wish, sitting her on the bed, washing the wound in warm water, staunching the blood, smearing on salves with tender fingers – all, Savi realised, in imitation of her, and the cares she had taken. The girl really had learned something of humanity, whether she realised it or not; and that was a great pleasure.
The warm, heady fumes of the healing stuffs, and their gentle release from pain, made Savi feel languorous and detached. She welcomed the easy kneading of the hand across her shoulder and breast. ‘Does your slave-girl do well, then, my mistress?’ said the voice in her ear, close enough to tickle.
Savi smiled lazily. ‘It’s lovely. Don’t stop.’
The hand moved again, in its lazy arc, spreading the scented oils across her skin. ‘I find a simple principle. I do what I would like myself, and it seems to serve. I would like you to do this to me, some time.’
Savi smiled. ‘You have all those handmaids to anoint you, after those baths the princess insists you take. It’s a
wonder they don’t rub the skin off you!’
‘That’s not the same!’ said the voice quietly. ‘I don’t feel their skin as I feel yours. Shall I stop?’
Savi had moved, suddenly, shifted. ‘No. Go on.’
The hand lifted, settled. ‘Like this?’
The arc spread gently wider, and Savi caught her breath a little.
‘I know what you’re doing,’ she said, after a moment. ‘Trying to do.’
The hand faltered, then continued, still very gently. ‘Do you like it?’
‘For the moment. You have a good touch. Have you been doing this to others?’
The hand stopped, this time; then started again. ‘Once or twice. Some such things, not much. To the serving-girls. I was … curious. There were sensations I wished to explore.’
Savi nodded. ‘Children do.’
‘Children?’
Savi smiled. ‘It is a part of growing up. You become aware of your body, in so many different ways. But other bodies are strange to you, boys’ bodies.’ The girl made a noise of deep disgust, and Savi chuckled. ‘And they themselves are pretty strange, not easy to feel at home with. So, you turn first to what’s more familiar. Did you enjoy it?’
The circling hand paused, on the slope of Savi’s left breast. ‘Yes. Well enough. I was not sure … It seemed … so much less than what is said of it, and written. Nor did the others respond; they seemed not to enjoy it at all. I was disappointed. It did not seem worth going on. So I did very little.’
Savi smiled. ‘Because it was only exploring. And only you. The others weren’t interested, perhaps. Or plain terrified of you; that wouldn’t help! It’s just as I told you. Feeling about’s not the same as feeling. If you could only learn …’
The girl drew a deep breath. Her hand returned to Savi’s shoulder. ‘But you?’ The voice was plaintive. ‘You are not afraid of me? I have told you, I would never hurt you!’
‘Yet you did, a little, just now. And you already have, more deeply, before you knew me. You can be really frightening.’
Shadow of the Seer Page 39
