“So? I nanny for her.”
“You love his kid. You love him,” Harper points out. “Whatever is going on, however the ex is behaving and however bad you feel, you’ll sort it out because you love both of them. He’s a package deal, and you’re in love with the whole package.”
“Package. She said package,” Nick deadpans.
“You have such a dirty mind,” I tell him.
He nods. “I can’t help myself. I see innuendo. I walk right into it.” Then he pushes his glasses higher. “But on a serious note, Abby, you like this guy. You like his kid. Who gives a fuck if his ex saw your boobs? Whatever. The kid will forget it, too. You just march right back there, and you take what’s yours.”
“Take what’s mine,” I say, repeating his pep talk, letting those words buoy me up. I straighten my shoulders and take a deep breath. I’m a fighter returning to the ring.
I’m taking what’s mine.
With my chin up and my tough-girl attitude on, we move on from my woes and talk about Nick’s new TV show, and how he and Harper are doing living together, and whether Nick will ever beat her at bowling.
But after I say goodbye to my friends and head through the Sunday morning throngs of New Yorkers grabbing their coffees, reading papers, taking selfies, and jogging on the streets, that certainty leaks away.
Taking what’s mine is easier said than done. Because there’s more at stake than pride.
I can get over a wound in my pride. I can move beyond a most awkward moment. This morning’s incident will fade in the rearview mirror of our relationship as we move forward. But something bigger, heavier, weightier won’t fade away.
Because how do I get over working for the man I love? Taking money from him?
Staying on as Hayden’s nanny seemed fine at three in the morning, but that was the sex hormones leading me on, making me believe I could have my cake and eat it, too.
Now, as the sun rises higher, showing all the scratches and bruises of real life, I don’t think it’s all so blissfully easy.
Nor should it be.
The simple truth is this—I don’t know how to work for him and love him. That seemed manageable before we smashed into each other. Before we fell hard and recklessly.
But the reality is that the moment in the foyer this morning underscores the central problem going forward.
I’ll be getting a paycheck from the man who sees me naked.
25
Simon
In Hayden’s room, I sit on the floor with her and join her in a game of My Stuffed Elephant Can Fly. When she sets the elephant down, she shoots me a curious look. “Why was Abby naked?”
I keep the answer simple. No need to belabor it. “She was getting dressed, honey. She meant to answer the door in clothes. I know she’s sorry.”
Hayden shrugs. “Doesn’t bother me. It was weird, though,” she says, crinkling her nose.
I swipe a chunk of wild hair from her eyes, making sure she’s meeting mine. “Are you going to be okay?”
She laughs. “Yes, Daddy. Want to play with me?”
And that’s it. That’s the joy of being five. She’s no longer weirded out. But I also know the conversation isn’t over. The part that matters hasn’t even begun.
“Hey, sweet pea,” I say, as I grab a stuffed giraffe to join her in whatever game we’re playing.
She looks at me, her big, hazel eyes innocent, waiting.
“What would you think if I told you I liked Abby?”
She lights up, a big grin spreading across her face. “I like her, too!”
“What if it was more than like? What if I loved her? You know, how a man and a woman love each other?”
Her jaw drops, and her eyes sparkle. “I love Abby! And you love Abby!”
She makes the elephant fly right into her toy chest, where she grabs her wooden play sword. “Does that mean you can both take me fencing again? Because I loved it and I want to keep doing it.”
I smile and grab her waist, bringing her in for a hug, wooden sword and all. This part is simple. Loving my girl. “I hope so, sweet pea. I’d really like that.”
“What about tonight?”
“I don’t think there are any fencing classes tonight.”
“Then tomorrow?”
“I’ll see.”
“Can Abby go, too, since you like her now?”
“I hope she can.”
I plant a kiss on Hayden’s forehead, then proceed to make the giraffe battle the elephant until we both crack up and flop onto her purple carpet, laughing.
Some things in life are easy.
Someone raps on the door softly after nine. Expecting Abby, I rise from the couch, my heart beating overtime as I cross the distance to the green door to unlock it. Today didn’t go as planned at all, but I can’t wait to tell her how easily the talk with Hayden went.
When I turn the handle, the sight of her knocks the breath from my chest. She wears white jeans, the kind that land at her calves, and a bright, pretty pink tank top with a shiny metal pattern around the neck. A dangly silver pendant falls against her chest.
My thoughts immediately leap to how that necklace would look between the creamy flesh of her breasts while she wears nothing else.
“Hayden’s asleep,” I tell her, so she knows the score.
She nods as she walks inside and drops a quick kiss on my cheek. “Tell me all about the deal. I’m dying to know.”
I love that she asks, that she’s excited about this business opportunity.
I let the door fall behind her, take her hand, and bring her to the couch. When I sit next to her, our knees touch. “He wants to be in business together. That means I’m the lucky son of a bitch who gets to give him money,” I say, then laugh at that statement. “Gabriel truly is in the driver’s seat.”
“He is amazingly talented. It’s a wise choice, Simon. For both of you. You guys just get each other. You’re the business smarts that he needs to balance his artistic soul.”
I smile at the compliment. “Thank you. Not gonna lie—I’m pretty damn excited. This is exactly the sort of deal I’ve wanted to make. He’s got all these plans for growing the business. He has vision, and I think he can become a true rock-star chef.”
“And you get to be a part of that,” she says, pride in her voice, admiration in her eyes. The support she shows warms my bones. I’m so damn lucky to have a chance with a woman like her.
“You predicted it,” I say, reminding her of what she’d said after the dinner with him in the Village.
She shrugs as if it’s no big deal. “I had a good feeling, but I also believed in you.”
“But you know it wouldn’t have happened without you, Abby.” Keeping my eyes on hers, I squeeze her fingers. “You played a huge part, teaching me the right phrases, helping me to converse with them. You were a key part of this.”
I brush my lips to her temple, her cheek, her mouth. She parts her lips, and my heart thumps hard against my chest. I kiss her, slow and tender, savoring every second of her touch. Her kiss is everything good in the world.
“I’m sorry for all the trouble earlier,” she says when we break the kiss. “When I opened the door for Miriam.”
Shaking my head, I press my finger to her lips. “Don’t apologize, beautiful. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
She lightly pushes my hand away. “I want to say this,” she says, her voice strong, reminding me that she’s no pushover. “I need you to understand why I did it. I wanted to surprise you naked. I had this image of you opening the door, seeing me with nothing on, and feeling I was your gift.”
My skin heats up all over, and a million naughty thoughts fight their way to the front of my brain. “You are a gift,” I say softly, reaching for her, threading my hand through her blond curls. She sighs sexily as I touch her, and that small sound is such a relief. Maybe there was a part of me that was worried that she’d be scared away. But Abby’s not like that. She’s tough. She’s strong. And she has a heart that’s w
illing to let me in, baggage and all.
She presses her palms to my chest, giving a light push. Her eyes are intense. “That’s what I want to be to you. A gift.”
“You are. You absolutely are.” I tilt my head, studying her face. I inch back. “Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ in that statement?”
She takes a breath and lets it out. “Because. There is.”
My heart craters. Shit. After last night, after today, after all these months—I don’t want to lose her. “What is it?” I ask, dread in my tone.
She doesn’t let go of me, though. Her hands travel up my chest to my shoulders, then into my hair. Ah, that’s better. Fuck dread. Whatever is coming, we can handle it, as long as her hands are on me.
“Here’s the thing . . . I love you, and I love your daughter, but I don’t think I can work for you anymore.”
I frown. Her words barely compute. “Why? I thought we talked about this last night? That we were going to find a way for this all to work.”
She raises her chin. “We did talk about it. At night. After amazing sex,” she says, playing with the ends of my hair. “When we were all dopey and happy.”
“The sex will be amazing again, so just be prepared for more of that.”
She runs her fingers down my neck, making me shudder. “I know. I know it’ll be incredible.”
“Jesus Christ, you’re driving me crazy with every little touch.” My voice is practically a growl.
“That’s my point,” she says, as her fingers travel over my shoulders and down my arms. “I want to touch you like this. But Simon, I don’t feel right being your lover and your employee. It’s not what I want for myself.”
“But,” I say, stumbling on words. My muscles tense, and worry thrums through me even as she draws lazy circles on my biceps. “What do you want?”
She tilts her head like a curious cat. “Don’t you get it?”
“No. Spell it out.”
“I want to be with you, silly. I want to run my hands in your hair and down your arms. I love you, and I want to go to dinner with you, and the movies, and send naughty text messages, and take showers together and learn exactly how top-notch the rating is when it’s you and me in the shower.” Her words thrill me and turn me on. Then she melts me when she says, “And I love your daughter.”
She takes a beat then adds, “But I can’t be your employee, and you can’t pay me if you want to make love to me. So if you want me in your life, this is how you can have me. I’ll be yours, and I’ll be with you as your girlfriend, and with Hayden as her father’s girlfriend. But I can’t work for you.”
And hell if I don’t fall deeper into love with her this second. My heart leaps out of my chest into her hands. She is so goddamn giving, so loving. I press a kiss to her forehead. “You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever known, but I can’t let you do that.”
“But you can’t stop me, either.”
“I know. That’s the issue. I can’t stop you from quitting. But this feels unfair. Unfair to you.” This bothers me immensely. There has always been an imbalance of power between us. I’ve been her boss. She’s been my employee. But now, if she’s cutting that thread to make the sacrifice for us as a couple, the power tips even more unfairly in my direction.
She’s losing her job. For me. “This is crazy. I don’t want you to be without work. I have enough money. I’ve made plenty already. You shouldn’t be the one to lose her job.”
“It’s okay. I’ll find another one soon enough, and I’ll stay until you find someone else. I’m not going to leave you in the lurch with Hayden. But I can’t be the person I want to be if I work for you and sleep with you and spend my nights with you. And I want to do things together with you and your girl, as a couple.”
I cup her cheeks, getting lost in those beautiful eyes. “I want to do all those things with you. But I don’t want you to be the one who gives up a job. I want to take care of you.”
She smiles but shakes her head. “I can take care of myself.”
“I know you can. Your fierceness and your independence are what I love about you. But you’ve got to see that I want to help.”
I can’t let Abby bear all the burden. But I don’t know how to fix this, either, and that drives me crazy. For a few seconds I toss around a number of alternatives in my head, then like ten tons of obvious falling from the sky, the answer is crystal clear. I know what I need to do, and how to fix this for her. “I’m not the kind of man who’s going to let the woman he loves take the leap alone.”
“Okay,” she says slowly. “And that means what?”
“Do you trust me?”
She nods.
“I know how to make deals. And I have one in mind. Give me a bit to work this out.”
She fiddles with the rolled-up cuffs of my shirt. “I can’t wait to hear what you have up your sleeve.” Then she plays with the collar. “But I’ll say this. I do think it’s going to be really weird for you to have another nanny.”
I laugh.
She’s right on that account. But not if I hire the right one.
26
Abby
A new student enters my Spanish class the next morning.
I do a double take then nod a silent hello. His face is familiar, and so is his smile.
He answers the questions I pose during class. He answers them perfectly.
Because he’s fluent.
At the end of the lesson when my other students leave, Gabriel strides up to me and extends his hand. “So good to see you again, Abby.”
“And you, as well, Gabriel,” I say as I gather up my class notes and materials. “But I didn’t think you needed a class.”
He shrugs impishly. “I don’t.”
“Exactly,” I say with a grin. “So what brings you here?”
He strokes his chin. “My new investor had an idea that I think might be rather brilliant.”
I arch an eyebrow as I slide my purse strap up my shoulder. “Your new investor is rather bright.”
“He is. And he reminded me that all these expansion plans are well and good . . . but that I might need some training for my employees.”
“And what sort of training would that be?”
“I will need someone who is good at teaching,” he says, sweeping his arm toward the now-empty classroom. “Someone who can help all my current and future employees attain fluency in the languages required to do business in my multi-national company and my restaurants around the world.”
My smile spreads, widening across my face. I had a feeling that was what Simon was up to—using his deal-making skills to make something magical happen for me. Something on my own terms.
“That’s why I came here today. To see if you’re as good with teaching as I suspected.”
“And your conclusion?”
“You’re even better,” he says, then takes a beat. “I know you hold classes and tutor, but I would love to offer you contract work teaching languages at my company, if you’re able to fit it into your schedule.”
His excitement is infectious. His offer is enticing. It’s exactly the type of work I love. “It seems I have more time than I did recently, so I’d love to hear more about what you have in mind.”
I leave the classroom with Gabriel, and we head out for coffee and to talk more about his plans. I’ll certainly miss taking care of Hayden all day, but she’s starting kindergarten in a few months, and this seems like the perfect next job for me. Simon might have played a role as the matchmaker, but I don’t doubt my skills and talent are what seal the deal.
And that’s how I like to roll.
Besides, I’ll be seeing plenty more of Hayden and Simon, and in a whole new way.
Simon
A few days later, Harper nabs a spare, thrusts her arms in the air, then high-fives Abby.
Nick drops his forehead in his palm and shakes his head. “Damn. I will never beat her.”
He raises his face and shrugs as the guy next to us
launches an emerald green ball that rips down the lane.
“She’s just too good,” I say. We’re at the bowling alley that Harper and Nick love, and Abby stole me away from work for an early evening game of guys versus girls. Hayden is with Madison at one of those do-it-yourself pottery places.
“I swear Harper was a bowling pro in a past life.”
“And I’m convinced I played centerfield for the Yankees in another life,” I say, and Nick laughs.
I steal a glance at my watch.
Nick taps the screen where he’s keeping score. “You gotta go? Or think you can nail a strike with that once-was-an-outfielder arm to win for us?”
I grin. “I’ll do my best.”
I grab the bowling ball and send it rolling along the hard wood in a smooth line, knocking down all ten pins. Nick pumps a fist. “Dude, I need you on my team, like, forever.”
I blow on my fingers, too hot to handle. “And on that note, I need to pick up Hayden.”
Abby walks over and wraps her hand around my arm. “Thanks for joining us.”
Nick scratches his chin and seems deep in thought for a moment. “Hey man, if you ever need someone to watch your kid so you guys can go out, Harper and I would be happy to help.”
Harper nods enthusiastically, and Abby smiles as wide as I’ve ever seen. As for me? Well, the offer is a shot of sunshine straight in the heart. There once was a time when I figured I wouldn’t fit in with her friends—that I’d be the odd man out.
Instead, the opposite has happened. So, I accept his offer for Friday night. By then, I should have everything in place to tell Abby my plan.
Tyler raises his beer glass. “You’re really going to do it?”
I nod and repeat, “I’m really going to do it.”
He tips his glass to mine and clinks. We’re at Speakeasy, a swank bar in midtown that his cousin’s wife runs. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you. A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.”
The One Love Collection Page 15
