by Calista Skye
I quickly load another arrow. It's too late to run for cover. I'm in a clearing, and I can't shoot while running.
Fine. I'll be eaten by a dactyl. At least my heartache will be over.
But I'll go out fighting, even so.
I fire the first arrow when the dactyl is fifty feet away. I think I hit, but it makes no great impression on the flying horror. These arrows aren't iron-tipped.
One more arrow hits, and then the dactyl is so close that I can smell it, beating its wings and hovering right above me.
I struggle to load my last arrow when the creature lands on four terrible clawed feet.
I freeze. No dactyl ever lands during an attack.
“Can I entice you to travel with Dactyl Airlines, ma'am? The seats are terrible, but the view is pretty good.”
Sixty tons of lead evaporate from my mind. “Heidi!”
She climbs off the dactyl and comes walking, trying to pull her windswept hair out of her face. “I told the girls I'd try one last flight to try to find you. I never thought I actually would.”
I run over and hug her tight. “Oh god. I can't tell you how happy I am to see you.”
She squeezes me back. “And the feeling is very mutual. Seems one of us is always missing.”
I wipe a relieved tear off my face. “How is Sophia?”
“Not great. But it hasn't started yet.”
“Okay. I have something that might help.” I hold out the bag.
“Oh. You met someone?”
“And how. Heidi, I'm glad you came now. Did you see the dino that ran away?”
She walks back to the dactyl and I reluctantly follow. “That's why we screamed. I wanted to chase it away from you. Do you have your boarding pass?”
“Will an empty quiver and a broken heart be okay?”
She raises her eyebrows theatrically. “Ooh! Business class!”
I grab her offered hand and climb onto the dactyl. I should be scared out of my mind of this horrific monster, but right now I don't have that many more shits to give.
I hold on to Heidi, the dactyl takes off and I only squeal the tiniest bit.
“That bad, huh?” she says when we're flying over the treetops.
The wind in my hair and the speed and the prospect of soon being back at the cave carrying a stolen treasure should give me a thrill. But a piece of me has died. A big piece. So big that now I just feel hollow.
“Bad enough. I saw you before. Over the lake.”
“Oh, you did? God, I was scared out of my mind.” She slaps the dactyl's back. “This guy decided to battle a sea monster and I couldn't stop him.”
“That sea monster was busy attacking us. Did you see the raft?”
“It's hard to see what's underneath this thing. And I just wanted to get him to go home. But sometimes his dino instincts take over.”
“I'm glad he didn't obey you. Saved our lives.”
“'Our', huh? Is there a man in the picture? Someone who breaks hearts? Just a wild guess.”
I sigh. “I think the word is 'was'.”
Heidi reaches behind her back to grab my wrist in sympathy. “Girl, I've been there. I hope you'll tell us about it.”
I turn my head to look behind me. Far away there's a shimmer like a spot of silver in the morning sun. That has to be the lake.
Trak'zor's lake.
So of course my eyes are full of tears again.
I pull myself together and clear my voice. “Oh, you guys will hear all about it.”
32
- Trak'zor -
“Long live Chief Trak'zor!”
All the tribesmen cheer and raise their bared swords into the air. I hold my own sword out to them in both palms, a symbolic offer of my service to the tribe.
But I've never felt less like cheering. This whole ceremony, which not too long ago would have thrilled me to the core, is empty and hollow and meaningless. I'm missing a part of me. A large part.
Even now, having just become the chief of our tribe, I constantly find myself staring towards the gate, hoping to see a small figure walking in. A figure with wide hips and long hair and a mysterious smile on her face.
That will never happen. She said I'm proud. And that's true. But so is she.
I look out over the tribe. They're expecting me to say something, to state how great the tribe is and what I intend to do with it.
But Aurora is right. It's not a great tribe. It's not even good.
Two weeks ago I would have leapt at this chance, and I would have had endless ideas for how to change the tribe. Now I see how little it means.
“Men of the Garan tribe,” I begin, but then I go quiet again. I have no idea how to continue.
Well, I have to say something.
“Today we mourn the loss of five of our tribesmen. Drem'tax, Bion'ax and Hing'ox. As well as Chief Heri'ox. Whatever their failings, they died the death of warriors. We will miss them.”
So my time as chief starts with me telling blatant lies. I doubt anyone will miss Heri'ox.
“And we will miss Shaman Ren'tax, who was called to the Ancestors this last sunrise after a long life of serving them. His wisdom will be sorely missed. Because we will need all the wisdom we can get in the time ahead. It will be a tough time. But it will be worth it. Some say this is a great tribe.”
Some tribesmen cheer. Mostly because they're drunk.
“I say it's a bad tribe! Even now. Yes, we were led down a dark path by certain powers that are now gone. Still, one man is not enough for a whole tribe to rot on the vine like this one has.”
A sharp barb hits my heart. Wither on the vine. That's one of Aurora's expressions.
“We have all cooperated in turning this village from a wonderful home to a heap of trash. Look around you! When I was a boy, that fence would be whole and clean. The huts would be in good repair. The food stores would be full. The water would be cool and pure. The fruit trees would be tended to. There wouldn't be one root of darkweed within a thousand paces of the village. Today I found a full cluster right beside the Chief's tent!”
I pause, and the meeting mound is deathly quiet. I don't think they expected this. Well, then they didn't really know me.
“We have a lot of work ahead of us. And the first thing we'll do is get rid of all the burl. We'll pour it all out. And the gorel fruits will be used for eating, not for making pleasant drink. If and when we bring this tribe up to what it should be and what it used to be, then maybe we'll make a little bit of burl for special occasions. But never again will I see tribesmen sitting idly outside their tents in bright daylight!”
Nobody thinks of cheering.
“I notice you are being quiet. Yes, you will have to work hard for this to happen. You're not used to it. But I am. I will show you how. And I will help. But I will not be forced to oversee every little thing. You are men. Warriors! You must be able to do these things on your own. Without constant supervision. If not, you are not a tribe and I will have nothing to do with you. I cast you out once. I can do it again. And if I have to do it again, I will let this tribe die. Other tribes want me to join them. Better tribes. I don't want to leave this tribe. But we all know that it is not worthy of me!”
I'm coming on strong. But this is not the time to hide my real opinion. They already know I feel this way.
The silence is oppressive. The tribesmen are staring at me with stony faces. I don't blame them. I've only spoken like this to them once. And then it ended with them being cast out.
“And one last thing. The Woman called this tribe cowards. Still, that's not the whole reason she left. She left because of me. This tribe may not be worthy of me yet. But I'm not worthy of her. You can still prove that I'm wrong, and that I belong with you. I can no longer prove anything to her.”
The tribesmen are exchanging bewildered glances. I don't blame them. I'm confused, too.
Except I'm suddenly a little less so.
I take a deep breath.
“I accept the honor of being the chief of the G
aran tribe. For now. It is up to you to see to it that it is in fact an honor.”
What I do next surprises even me.
33
- Aurora -
“... and then Heidi scared him away and picked me up. And here I am!”
I try to say it in a light tone, but it fails. There's no light in me.
The girls are quiet for a long time.
Then Caroline comes to hug me. “That sucks sooo hard. He wanted to tie you up again? How crazy was he?”
“Yeah. I don't know. I guess he thought he owned me.”
Delyah looks over at Bune. “So the doors in the spaceship didn't close when you went inside? It didn't try to kill you?”
“It didn't. Not me, not Trak'zor.”
“I wonder what that room was where you found him,” Emilia says. “Some kind of crazy lab?”
I shrug. “Probably. I assume that's where his magical gel comes from.”
“At least the Plood died for their troubles and they won't come to pick us up,” Heidi says. “I don't mind that too much, I have to say. One less thing to worry about.”
“And how are you feeling?” Sophia asks, sitting in the shade propped up with a thick stack of furs.
“Dead? No, I'm glad to be back here with you crazy chicks. But, you know. I miss him. A lot.”
“That's the way they are,” Sophia says. “Just a few days with a caveman changes you. It's like their strength gives you room to breathe. And you realize that life on this planet can actually be pretty good.”
“Breathing can be addictive,” Heidi agrees.
“Those Lifegivers,” Delyah thinks aloud. “They can't be natural.”
“So just to be absolutely sure,” Emilia says, “he had no coffee? And his tribe didn't either?”
“Nope. Just some kind of very liquid tar.”
“Oh! So it looked like coffee? It was really black?”
“It was pretty black, I guess. In a gray kind of way.”
“Well, it's something, right? A fluid that even looks a little bit like coffee is more than we've had so far.”
The girls nod in agreement.
“It really is.”
“Definitely.”
“Actually sounds pretty good.”
A light rain starts to fall and we get up to move under the roof of the cave.
Then Sophia lays a hand on her huge belly and stares into the air. “Ooo-kay. Girls, I'm pretty sure I'm done percolating. Now I think I'm ready to pour.”
- - -
She's carried in Jax'zan's strong arms into the cave, where the inner part has been converted to some kind of stone age delivery room. It's basically a heap of not-sheep furs and our best dinosaur skins, separated from the rest of the cave by a large curtain of carefully cured dino leather. The light is provided by the alien pad that Ar'ox found in the jungle. It seems to have a power source that never goes out.
It's all been made as clean as we can get it. Delyah has carved a crude trumpet-shaped stethoscope out of hardwood, because she's the smartest one of us and we all know she has to be in charge of this. None of us have any experience with births.
Delyah and Jax'zan come with Sophia in there and pull the curtain closed.
I get the stone orb out of the pack. If they need me, I'll be ready.
I hope they won't need me.
“How long do these things take?” Emilia whispers unnecessarily.
In the weeks before I went to find the injured caveman, we discussed the birth topic to death. But we have to talk about something.
“I think it depends,” I reply. “I've heard horror stories about women being in labor for a long time. Hours.”
“Are we supposed to boil water or something?”
“We'll need water to clean the baby, probably. Body temperature.”
“It's her first time,” Heidi thinks out loud. “That's the toughest one for most. And the baby is breech. Not looking forward to my turn in there.”
I determine that this might be as good a time as any. “Uh-huh. I'm a little worried about my turn, too.”
They stare. “You mean ... you too, Aurora?”
“Pretty sure,” I say, and my voice cracks because things are not great right now.
They both scoot closer to embrace me, and it does help a little.
“Damn cavemen are so fertile they knock you up just by saying hello,” Emilia says. “You getting sick in the mornings?”
“Yeah. And ... I just know it. Don't ask me how. I feel different. Not bad or sick. Just ... different.”
Heidi gently swipes some of my hair behind my ear. “I actually don't mind having another member of the stone age preggo club.”
I wipe my eyes. “Uh-huh. Do I get a badge?”
“The badges are on order,” Heidi says. “It's a little oven with a smiling bun in it. Gold, of course. Right, Em?”
“Right. Gold. About the same size as a dinner plate. Little flashing lights around the edge spelling out the word 'preggo'. We want everyone to know.”
“Gold, huh?” Caroline says and joins us after finishing some cooking by the fire. “That makes me want to get pregnant myself. So all I have to do is get a caveman to say hello to me? Did I get that right? Is it better if he waves, too? I mean, then you have to be pretty sure it works, right?”
I laugh despite myself. “I love you chicks. You're all crazy.”
“We prefer the term 'nuts',” Heidi states with mock seriousness. “And your diagnosis is just as serious as ours. I'm afraid you're a loonie, too.”
Caroline leans in to hug me. “Seriously, Aurora, congratulations.”
“Thanks.”
We chat like that for a while, trying to get an outlet for our nervous energy while we wait for Sophia to deliver. We hear her groaning and swearing intensely once in a while, so we know she's in labor.
The rain gets more intense, and outside the cave, darkness falls very fast.
- - -
Hours go by, and we keep casting anxious glances towards the curtain.
Then the curtain is pulled aside and Sophia comes waddling out, supported by Jax'zan.
She gives us a pale smile. “Don't mind me. Just taking a walk.”
We all get to our feet, and I smile at her. “You're a total champion.”
“Thanks. And congratulations on your club membership. I heard everything. You've been busy on your expedition. I love it.”
“Thank you.” I move in to hug her, but this is probably not the best time.
Delyah comes out and washes her hands in a bucket.
“Everything okay?”
She takes a sip of water. “I think so. There are contractions, and the opening is getting a little bigger. The baby has a fast heartbeat. But at this rate, it's going to take a while.”
I relax a little. “I think that's normal. Damn, Delyah, you're just like a real doctor! I think we know what you're going to study when we get back home.”
She smiles her shy, brilliant smile that we see too rarely. “You mean medicine? And give up my valuable collection of linguistics credits? Yeah, maybe.”
Sophia and Jax'zan walk the length of the cave a few times, back and forth, chatting quietly. Jax'zan says something that gets Sophia to slap his shoulder in shock and then hoot with laughter.
And immediately I'm back on Trak'zor's island, having him tease me playfully about the way I speak his language. Feeling his arm around me. Feeling his strength and his heat.
I groan inwardly. So now I'm envious of a woman in labor.
- - -
More hours pass, and we start yawning. It has to be well past midnight.
I walk over to the cave opening where Dar'ax and Ar'ox are standing, looking out at the rain. They ignore me, like they usually ignore women other than their own wives. But they're so tense they're practically trembling. None of them would bat an eyelash at facing down a huge dinosaur as big as a truck. But a woman giving birth? That gets them really on edge.
I stare out i
nto the darkness. Where is he now? What's he doing? Is he safe and dry? Is he fed?
Does he think about me?
Okay. I have to come to terms with the fact that he's gone forever. He won't come and get me.
So I have a new crossbow. I have a stolen magic gel that it looks like I won't have to use tonight after all. I'll have a baby bump soon. I know there's fish on this planet and how to catch them.
I guess it's not bad compared to before. I still have a home and friends. As well as some nice memories.
And a hole where my heart should be.
No, I can't take it. Will I be able to go and see him? Maybe Heidi can fly me on the dactyl. I can use his stone orb as an excuse. Here is the treasure I stole. Now can we get back together? I really miss your co-
“Oh my god!”
There's some commotion at the back of the tent. The girls are whispering loudly and looking at the curtain.
I go back there and listen.
Sophia is not sounding right. This is not just pain – this is fear, too.
Delyah comes out. “The baby's heart rate is dropping fast. I can see a little foot, but it's stopped descending. And Sophia says it feels weird. Like it's stuck.”
My hand goes to my mouth. “Shit.”
Everyone is looking at me.
I pick up Trak'zor's stone orb. “Is it time to try this?”
Delyah holds the curtain open. “Let's at least get ready.”
I duck under her arm.
Sophia is lying back on the heap of furs. She's very pale, and there's moisture on her face. Jax'zan is as white as a sheet, making his stripes stand out even more than usual.
I hold up the orb. “Shall we try this, Sophia?”
She nods. “Let's try. Something's wrong, Aurora. She's stopped moving.”
I open the orb and look inside.
My shoulders sink. “Oh.”
Where before there was a transparent gel with tiny sparkling crystals, there's now a thick, lumpy, yellowish fluid that reminds me of milk that's been left out far too long.
It smells bad, too, like rotting fruit and burning plastic.
I scoop some onto my finger. It drips onto the floor, giving off more unpleasant smells.
“Shit. It's ruined!”
