by Tara Sivec
In about ten seconds.
"Not until one. I have to close by myself tonight," I told him while I squeezed my thighs together and thought about his fingers stroking and pushing and hard and fast and gentle and…fuck!
"Can I just wait here while you work? I can help you close up and we can talk…or whatever," he said as he stared at my lips.
YES! Holy shitballs mother of YES! Yes, yes, fuck yes!
"Yeah, whatever," I said with a shrug as I walked away to stock the beer cooler and stick my vagina in there to cool it down.
13. Quivering Loins
For the next couple of hours I stared at Claire’s ass – er, I mean watched her work and chatted with her when she had a few seconds.
I also became a proud member of Team P.O.R.N. when I managed to throw a ping pong ball that ricocheted off of T.J.’s head and hit Claire in the tits. There was talk of making me the team captain after that one. Claire told me I really knew how to handle my balls, and I started to wonder if I was turning more than a little pervy by the fact that it turned me on whenever she said "balls."
I wonder what it would take to get her to say "cock?"
T.J. walked by just then, untying his apron and stowing it under the bar. I probably should have felt a little jealous at the fact that he was a good looking guy and he got to be in close proximity to Claire all the time, but watching them interact just made me laugh. They were like brother and sister with the way the shoved each other, threw insults back and forth and tattled to anyone who would listen. As a result, I decided I liked T.J. and I didn't have to kill him.
"Hey, T.J., do me a favor. Get Claire to say ‘cock’ and I'll give you twenty bucks."
"Deal," he said automatically before turning away from me.
All of the patrons were gone and Claire had just switched on the "closed" sign and was in the process of walking back from the front door.
"Hey, Claire, remember that one guy who came in here a few months ago, smacked your ass and called you Cutie Claire? What was it you called him?"
"A cocksucker," she replied distractedly as she got back behind the bar and began organizing bottles.
With a dreamy smile on my face, I slid a twenty across the bar to T.J. and he walked away. This was going to be a beautiful friendship. If he could get her to say, "Fuck me hard Carter," I might buy him a pony.
T.J. said good-bye and walked out the door while Claire finished straightening up. After a few minutes, she came around the corner of the bar and sat down next to me on a stool.
"You look exhausted," I told her as she rested her chin in her hand and let out a sigh.
"Is that a nice way of telling me I look like shit?" she teased.
"Absolutely not. If you looked like shit, I'd tell you. I would also tell you if the jeans you're wearing make your ass look big, if something you cooked tasted like it came from the bottom of my shoe or if a joke you told was not funny at all."
"Wow, that's very kind of you," she said with a laugh.
"It's what I do."
We sat there for several minutes just looking at each other. None of this seemed real yet. I couldn't believe she was sitting here in front of me. I couldn't believe she was still so remarkable and funny and beautiful and I couldn't believe she had a child, my child.
"You kind of amaze me, you know that?" I said, breaking the silence.
I watched the blush brighten up her cheeks and she looked away, her gaze locked on a drink napkin that she started to shred.
"I'm not that great, believe me."
I shook my head in disbelief at how she clearly didn't see herself very well.
"Are you kidding me? You hooked up with a total loser one night at a frat party, got pregnant, had to give up your dreams and quit school, worked your ass off and raised an awesome little boy and now you're opening your own business. If that's not amazing, I don't know what is."
She continued to rip up the napkin at an even faster pace while I continued.
"You're strong and confident and beautiful and you make everything look so damn easy. I am so grateful to have met you again. I will be forever in your debt for taking care of…of our son. You've done such an amazing job with him and you're so selfless that I am just in awe."
Whew, I said it. My son. Gavin is my son. Oddly, it didn't make me want to hurl myself on a rusty nail.
She still wasn't looking at me, though, and it was starting to make me nervous. And I felt really bad for the drink napkin that now resembled a small pile of snow. I reached over and placed my hand on top of hers to make her stop fidgeting with the mess.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked.
She finally turned her face towards mine and I'm not gonna lie, it really freaked me out to see tears in her eyes. I didn't do crying. At all. If she asked me to set myself on fire right now I would do it just so I wouldn't have to see her cry.
"Gavin is wonderful. He is smart and perfect, he's funny and he's the best little boy in the world. He has his moments but he’s very well-behaved and just perfect. Perfect! Every single person who meets him adores him and I love every second of being his mom….,” she trailed off.
I knew she was sugar-coating things. If she said the word “perfect” one more time I was going to start crying myself. I didn't want the watered-down version. I wanted to know it all, everything I missed. The good, the bad and the ugly. Her foot was tapping nervously on the rung of the bar stool, and she looked like she was about to explode. I knew with everything going on right now she had to be under a lot of stress. She was a single mom with a lot on her plate and I knew for a fact Gavin wasn't flawless. What kid was? But she definitely wanted me to think so. Was she really afraid I would change my mind if I knew the horrors of being a parent? I’d always wanted to have kids someday. It was one of the biggest issues between me and Tasha. I knew it wasn’t all rainbows and kittens. I knew it could suck the life out of you and make you second-guess your sanity.
"It's okay if you want to complain. I can only imagine how tough it is for you."
"I love Gavin," she repeated with conviction.
I chuckled a little at how panicked she looked.
"No one is questioning that. But you don't have to act like you have everything under control a hundred percent of the time. I'm not going to think less of you or Gavin if you need to vent, believe me. I want to know everything. I wasn't lying when I said that to you earlier."
She was softening a little. The napkin was finally free from her abuse and her foot wasn't tapping manically anymore. She still looked at me warily, though. I knew one way I could get her to calm down and open up. I stood up and leaned over the top of the bar, reaching my arms as far as I could, and wrapped my hand around what I needed.
I sat back down, grabbed a clean shot glass that rested upside down on the bar and filled it with Three Olive Grape Vodka, which I now knew to be her favorite. I set the bottle back down on the bar and slid it out of the way.
"Be honest," I said as I pushed the shot glass in front of her.
She bit her lip, looked down at the shot glass and then back at me. She was like an open book and I could see all of the conflicting emotions as they ran across her face until she finally let go.
"IloveGavintodeathbuthedrivesmefuckingcrazy!" she said as fast as she could and snapped her mouth shut immediately.
"Take a shot," I told her, nodding at the shot glass in encouragement.
Without hesitating, she picked up the glass and tipped it back, slamming it down onto the bar when she was done.
"Keep going," I told her as I leaned closer to her and poured more vodka into the shot glass.
"The first time he said, 'Mommy,' my heart completely melted. But that kid never shuts up. Ever. He even talks in his sleep. One time when we were driving he was going on and on about sheep and french fries and his wiener and the lawn mower, I stopped the car in the middle of the street and got out. After I walked around the car and then got back in, he was still talking, asking me if lawn
mowers have wieners. He never. Stops. Talking."
"Take a shot," I said again with a smile.
She downed it, slamming the glass in front of me this time so I could refill it. I did, pushing it back towards her.
"I gained fifty-six pounds when I was pregnant with him. Do you have any idea what it's like to look down and not be able to see your vagina?"
"Uh, no," I muttered.
"My ass had its own zip code."
"If it makes you feel better, it is an awesome ass," I told her honestly.
"Thank you."
I poured her another and didn't even need to prompt her to drink it.
"His hugs are a magical cure for everything. But do you have any idea how much a baby shits and pukes and cries? He projectile vomited every bottle he drank. Drink, burp, spew. Lather, rinse, repeat."
Down went the shot.
“He didn’t sleep through the night until he was three and a half years old. I got so fed up I told him Shasta the Sleep Monster lived under his bed and would bite his feet if he got out of it in the middle of the night for anything other than the house being on fire.”
She tipped her head back and finished another shot.
"I can't believe you don't hate me right now," she said.
"Why would I ever hate you?"
"Because I basically used you for sex and then never spoke to you again," she explained.
"Honey, where I come from, that's like Christmas to a guy," I said with a laugh, trying to lighten her mood. "I should be the one apologizing to you." I reached out with my hand and turned her face towards me.
God she was so beautiful. And I was a complete dick for wanting to take advantage of her being a little tipsy. But fuck, I needed to kiss her. I waited five years to taste her again. She tilted her head so that she could rub her cheek against the palm of my hand, and I almost forgot what I had been trying to say to her.
"Granted, we were both pretty out of it that night, but if I would have ever known that you had never…that you…that I was your first, I would have done things a hell of a lot differently," I admitted.
Like stare at your naked body and memorize every inch of it, swirl my tongue around your nipples and suck them into my mouth until you moaned my name. I'd taste your skin and burry my face between your legs and make you come so hard you'd forget your name.
"Holy fuck," she whispered with a glazed look in her eyes.
I just said all of that out loud didn't I?
She sat there staring at me with her mouth open, and I worried that I royally fucked up. It was too soon for me to talk about her vagina and how much I wanted to become BFF's with it. Sure, I spent the past five years glorifying every single thing I could remember about her, and I worried over the past week that maybe my memories were better than reality, but that was just stupid. She was just as amazing sitting here in front of me as she was in my dreams, and I needed her to know that. I opened my mouth but before I could get the words out, she jumped down off of the stool, mumbling something about stocking beer in the cooler in the back. She brushed past me and I was left sitting on my stool with a bottle of vodka and the smell of chocolate lingering in the air.
***
Oh my God. Oh holy fucking shit.
I was such a fucking coward. I ran away from him as fast as I could and now I was in the storage room pretending to stock beer.
I'd taste your skin and burry my face between your legs and make you come so hard you'd forget your name.
Jesus Christ on a cracker. I had no experience with this shit. I wanted to hump his leg as soon as those words left his mouth. He clearly didn't mean to say them out loud going by the shocked expression on his face.
"Shit!" I muttered loudly, punching an empty case of beer.
Except it wasn't empty and my fist connected with full cans of beer.
"Son of a bitchfuck!" I cursed while I shook my bruised hand, kicking my foot out and connecting with a bottle of tequila that went rolling across the floor.
"I hope this alcohol abuse isn't because of something I said."
I turned around to find Carter lounging against the door frame. Why does he always have to witness my mortifying stupidity?
"I mean really, what has that bottle of tequila ever done to you?" he asked as he started to walk towards me.
"You mean aside from impairing my judgment so that I lost my virginity to some really hot guy I met at a frat party, got knocked-up and never got the guy's name because I am a complete and total bitch and now that he’s here I feel like I am so out of my league whenever he’s around because I have zero experience with this shit?" I rambled.
Carter stopped right in front of me and gave me a crooked grin.
“You think I’m hot?”
I rolled my eyes at his attempt to lighten the mood and completely gloss over my nervous admission.
"You know, you're absolutely right. That tequila is a real asshole. Go ahead and kick the shit out of it. You might as well finish off the beer, too. I saw him looking at you funny."
I laughed at the ridiculousness of this conversation. I wasn’t drunk but I was pleasantly buzzed enough from our earlier game of Truth or Truth to be able to see the humor in this situation. When I stopped laughing, he reached out and brushed a piece of hair off of my cheek that had escaped my pony tail and it reminded me so much of the night we met that I let out a small sigh.
"Let's get something straight here. You are not a bitch. I don't blame you for anything that you did. I'm not going to lie and say that it didn't totally suck ass to wake up the next morning and not have you there with me and then spend five years wondering if I had imagined you. But I would never think you were a bitch for doing what you did," he said as he inched closer. "I wasn't lying before when I said I would have done things very different with you that night," he said softly as he moved so close to me that our chest and thighs were touching. I swallowed roughly as he brought his hand up and rested it on my hip.
"I would have kissed you more," he said, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth.
"I would have held your body up against mine longer so I could feel every inch of you," he whispered against my cheek as he wrapped his other arm around my waist and pulled me up tighter against him.
His hand that rested on my hip slid up the side of my body. It grazed up my ribs and brushed against the side of my breast until his palm was flat over my heart.
"I would have touched you everywhere and took the time to feel your heart beat against my hand."
I licked my lips and tried to control my breathing. God, I loved the way he smelled, the way he spoke and his hands on me. How had I lived so long without these things?
“Most of all, I would never have taken even one sip of alcohol that night so that every single moment with you would have been etched into my brain and the memory of how your skin felt against my hands would be clear as a bell.”
I was certain he could hear the pounding of my heart echoing through the room. I knew he could feel how fast it was beating with each word he spoke.
"Fuck, Claire," he muttered. "Just being close to you drives me crazy."
He bent his knees slightly and then pushed up against me so I could feel exactly what he was talking about. Both my hands flew to his shoulders in an effort to hold on and pull him closer. My one leg automatically lifted to wrap around his waist and bring him closer to me. His lips ghosted over my neck, and I was pretty sure I moaned. When he was back by my ear he whispered, "If this is too much, too soon, just tell me to stop and I will."
Was it too soon? Was I acting like a complete slut right now rubbing myself all over him? I was a mother for fuck's sake.
A mother that had never been laid properly and was horny as fuck.
"If you stop, I will straight up murder your ass," I whispered as his lips found their way to mine and connected.
No sooner had our mouths collided when I felt his tongue gently push its way past my lips. I slid my tongue a
gainst his, and he moaned into my mouth, pushing his hips into me harder. I was tingling all over like in some cheesy romance novel. My breasts were heaving and my loins were quivering.
I HAD QUIVERING LOINS!
I felt like I was going to explode if he didn't touch me. I wanted him to touch me so much it almost hurt. I am so not good at dirty talk. Just the thought of saying "touch my *ack* pussy" made me want to cringe. I could try "let your fingers do the walking". Or maybe "put your digits in my divot."
Focus Claire!
Oh my God his tongue was like magic. Where the hell did he learn to kiss? I bet his dad taught him.
Wait no. That sounded gross.
Jesus, I was turning into a puddle of goo and so was my underwear.
TOUCH MY VAGINA!
If I screamed it in my head maybe he'd figure it out. His tongue circled mine and his hand went down to my ass to slide me up and down against his hardness.
PUT YOUR HAND ON MY VAG!
My leg slid down his hip and the feel of the rough denim of his jeans against my bare thigh made me whimper. He walked us backwards and pushed me up against the wall of the storage room, deepening the kiss and slowing it down at the same time. My hands were clutching the hair at the back of his neck so hard I think I pulled some out by the roots.
His hand that was palming my ass moved away and I almost yelled in frustration until I felt him slide it around to the front of my thigh and slowly inch it up towards the hem of my shorts.
OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO TOUCH MY VAGINA!
Did I remember to put on sexy underwear and not period panties? You know what I'm talking about. The ginormous granny panties that you only wore when the crimson tide is flowing. The ones you’d never allow man nor beast to see.
He broke the kiss as his fingers snuck under the leg of my shorts and – Oh thank you sweet baby Jesus and the wise guys, I just remembered I put a Victoria's Secret thong on when I got dressed earlier.
"I know this doesn't make up for the shittiness of that night, but I want to make you feel good, Claire. Can I touch you?" he asked softly against my lips while he looked into my eyes.
