by Tara Sivec
Carter started to smile but immediately got a horrified look on his face. He turned and raced out of the room before I could ask him what was wrong. I followed after him and was right on his heels when he rounded the corner to his bedroom. It was like something out of a movie. Carter jumped up and dove through the air, arms stretched out in front of him like Superman. He sailed across the room and landed on his stomach on the bed right next to Gavin, but not before smacking something out of his hand. I just stood there with my mouth open, trying to understand what the hell was going on.
"Heeeeey," Gavin complained with a frown.
Carter was face down on the bed, his shoulders shaking so hard that Gavin's body was bouncing. Was he crying? Oh my God, was he having a nervous breakdown?
"Carter, what the hell?" I asked.
"What the hell, Carter?" Gavin repeated.
"Gavin!" I scolded while Carter continued to have a seizure or whatever the hell he was doing.
"But Mooooom, he took my lotion," Gavin pouted.
I walked up to the bed to see what Gavin was pointing at. A small tube of something was by Carter’s hand on the bed. As soon as I got close enough to see it, Carter grabbed it and flipped over on his back. And now I could see that he wasn't dying from an epileptic seizure, he was laughing his ass off.
"It's not funny, Carter. You took my lotion," Gavin complained.
This only made Carter laugh harder until he was gasping for breath. I looked at him in confusion. He just lifted his arm and handed me the tube of...
KY Warming Liquid?
Oh Jesus fucking hell. Lube? He put lube on his hands. It only took seconds for me to notice that Gavin was surrounded by condoms. A couple of them open and out of their wrappers.
"Your balloons suck, Carter," Gavin complained.
I collapsed on the bed next to Carter and laughed right along with him.
***
Twenty minutes into Toy Story 2, Gavin fell fast asleep with his head on Carter’s lap. I got up to go to the bathroom and grabbed my cell phone off of the kitchen table so I could sneak a picture. It was just too cute not to document.
I tapped Carter on the shoulder once I stowed my phone away and pointed to Gavin and then motioned back to his room. He awkwardly tried to finagle his arms around Gavin and you could tell he was freaked out about waking him up.
"It's okay," I whispered to him. "He won’t wake up."
Carter shook his head and muttered something that sounded like “Yeah right, until suddenly he disappears and you realize he’s been eaten by a clown.”
He moved quickly, scooping Gavin into his arms like he’d done it a thousand times before and Gavin never batted an eyelash at the disruption. I followed behind Carter down the hall and smiled at the sight of Gavin with his head nestled into the crook of Carter’s neck and his arms hanging limply at his sides. We walked into the bedroom, stepping over all of the toys so we wouldn't trip, and I stood back while Carter gently put Gavin down on the bottom bunk and covered him up. It took everything in me not to sob when he brushed Gavin's hair off of his forehead like I usually did every night.
"My lunch box makes cow nipples," Gavin mumbled in his sleep before rolling over to face the wall.
Carter looked back at me.
"What the hell was that?" he whispered with a laugh.
I stepped around him, bent over and kissed Gavin's head.
"Your son talks in his sleep," I informed Carter as I took his hand and pulled him off the bed. “I was kind of hoping it was hereditary. I don’t talk in my sleep and if you don’t either, then maybe it has to do with what he eats before bed.”
Carter held onto my hand as we walked across the room. “Sorry to say, I don’t talk in my sleep. What does he eat before bed?”
“LSD, shrooms, the usual bedtime snack for toddlers.”
Before we got to the door, Carter let go of my hand, walked over to the wall and plugged in a nightlight that was shaped like a race car. He joined me at the doorway and took my hand again.
“See? This is what’s wrong with the youth of America,” he whispered. “Too many chocolate chip cookies and not enough acid.”
I just stood there looking at him. A room full of toys and a nightlight? This man had thought of everything.
"What?" he asked, when I didn't move.
"You just amaze me, that's all," I told him with a smile as I pulled him out into the hall, shutting the door to Gavin’s room behind me.
We walked silently down the hall to Carter’s bedroom, both of us knowing without a doubt that this was the next step. I wanted to sleep with him again the first moment I saw him in the bar. It felt like this was a long time coming, but here, in this moment, it finally felt right.
Carter shut the door to his room and I reached around him to lock it just in case. Gavin slept like the dead, but he was in a strange place so I didn't know how well he’d do. Maybe that was selfish of me, but after five long years and no alone time, I think I deserved this. Plus, I’d much rather get a knock on the door warning us he was awake instead of him just barging in and asking why we were wrestling naked.
The only light in the room came from a small lamp on the bedside table that cast a soft glow around the room. We stood there by the door just staring at each other. The weird thing was it wasn't awkward at all. I wanted to take it all in. I wanted to remember every single second of this moment. I didn't want to just have bits and pieces of a drunken night flowing in and out of my mind. I wanted to remember every touch, every look and every feeling. I would never regret the first time we had sex because it brought me Gavin. But this time would mean more, because this time, I loved this man with all of my heart.
In just a few minutes I was going to be totally naked in front of him.
Oh my God, in just a few minutes I was going to be naked. In front of Carter.
Shit, I have stretch marks on my ass. Okay, just keep his eyes off of my naked ass.
He reached down and took my hand, pulling me to his chest. He didn't let go of my hand as he wrapped both of our arms behind my back, clasping our fingers together. His other hand came up to rest on my cheek while he looked into my eyes.
"Before we do this, you need to know something," he whispered.
He's going to tell me he’s gay.
"I am one hundred percent, absolutely in love with you and Gavin."
My lip quivered and my heart soared. I closed my eyes and tried to keep the tears inside as I rested my forehead against his. Once I got my emotions under control, I pulled back so I could see his face.
"I love you too, Carter," I whispered back.
A smile lit up his face and I brought my hand up and let my fingers trace the shape of his lips. He kissed me fingertips and started walking me backwards towards the bed. I loved the way he looked at me, like I was his whole world. I didn't think we even made eye contact our first time together.
When the back of my knees hit the edge, he leaned me backwards, holding me tight and lowering me slowly, until I felt the softness of the bed against my back and the hard heat of Carter against my front. His arm held me tight around my waist and he lifted me just enough so he could move us both further onto the bed. I brought my legs up and wrapped them around his hips. I placed both of my hands against his cheeks and craned my neck up so I could kiss him. The kiss started out gentle and sweet but quickly changed. I could feel his hardness right in the apex of my thighs and a burst of heat surged through me and dampened my underwear. Carter shifted his hips slightly and I whimpered into his open mouth. That sound must have gave him the "all systems go" signal because he pushed his tongue deep into my mouth and moved the hardness in his jeans right against me. I moved my hands down to hem of his shirt and slid them underneath. The heat of his smooth skin instantly warmed my chilled hands as I moved them up the front of his stomach and chest. I pushed my forearms higher to raise his shirt up the front of his body. He broke the kiss to reach back behind him and grasp a handful of his shirt, yank
ing it up over his head and tossing it to the side.
He raised himself above me on one arm, repeating the motions I just performed on him. He flattened his hand on the lower part of my stomach, his fingers slipping under the hem of my shirt. He watched his hand as it slowly moved up my stomach and between my breasts. I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it up, arching my back so I could get it off of me and toss it in the same direction that his shirt went. His flattened palm that rested on my chest slid to the side, running over the top of my breast that spilled out of the top of my red, lace push-up bra. I sighed, closing my eyes and tilting my head back as his hand engulfed my breast over the top of my bra.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered as he kneaded the soft mound, making me moan. Before I could think any coherent thoughts, his fingers slipped the edge of my bra away and his head dipped down so his warm, wet lips could capture my nipple and pull it into his mouth.
I was done for at that point. My hands slapped down onto his shoulders and my nails dug into his skin as he swirled his tongue around and around. How did I never know that there was a nerve that connected from my nipple right to my vagina? Holy hell! Every time he sucked I felt a tingle down there and it was driving me insane.
"You have too many clothes on," I muttered as I reached between us to unbutton and unzip his jeans. He pulled away from me and stood up next to the bed to pull his pants and boxer briefs down while I unfastened my own jeans.
Holy shit, there's his penis - his mighty, mighty penis that was going to be inside of me any second now. Does it look bigger? Maybe it's the lighting. This lighting better not be like dressing room lighting and make my ass look bigger.
"You're making me self-conscious staring at my penis so hard. It doesn't do any tricks, so I hope you're not waiting for it to juggle or anything," Carter said with a smile as he leaned down and hooked his fingers into the waistband of my jeans and underwear and slowly started to pull them down my legs.
Don't think about the c-section scar or the stretch marks around it. If you don't think about them, they aren't real.
Shit, he's going to see me naked. Maybe if he glanced away or closed his eyes, I would look better. It could be like that Old Spice commercial.
Look down, back up, now look at me. I'm a Maxim model.
"I'm just wondering if you have a permit for that thing and if it's going to fit in me," I joked, slyly resting my hands over top of the scar nestled at the top of the little triangle of pubic hair I had. Okay, I wasn't really joking. How the fuck did that thing get in there last time and why didn't I walk funny the next morning?
Carter saw through my actions and immediately pulled my hands away and held them down at my sides.
If I suck in my stomach any harder I’m going to pull a muscle.
"Don't cover yourself up, please. I love every inch of your body," he said sincerely as he rested one knee on the bed next to my thigh and placed a soft kiss right on top of the c-section scar. He loved every inch of my body before Gavin stretched it out like a rubber band on a sling shot. Granted, his memory of my body that night wasn't very clear, but I'm pretty sure he'd remember that my ass didn't have a map of stretch marks on it back then and I could very well teach a geography class with it if getting naked in front of students wasn't frowned upon.
He let go of one of my hands and used his arm to hold himself up as he leaned over me and looked at my body. The tips of his fingers followed the line of my scar back and forth several times. He had a sad look in his eyes for a moment, and I absolutely would not allow that when we were seconds away from having sexy time. I took his fingers and moved them up, placing them over top of my breast.
Alright, I'm getting better at this. That wasn't awkward at all. I wanted his hand on my boob, so I put his hand on my boob. Done.
He looked up and smiled at me then knelt down on the floor next to the bed. I gave him a questioning look as he slid both of his hands down my hips, across my thighs and skimmed them back behind my knees. I started to tell him to get back up here when all of a sudden he pulled me towards him until my knees were bent at the edge of the bed and my legs hung down on either side of him. Before I could utter a protest, he leaned down and kissed the inside of my thigh.
Oh, Jesus. Oh holy fuck, he's going to put his mouth on me.
The tip of his tongue made a trail from the inside of my thigh to my hip bone where he placed his lips and sucked gently. I squeezed my eyes shut and fisted the sheets as he kissed his way from my hip to my pubic bone.
Oh fuck, he was right there. I was wet as hell and he could probably smell me now. I should have eaten strawberries or melon or a dozen roses or an entire mint plant. Did that work for women? I read an article that it worked for men. Their spunk tasted like what they ate. Did my vagina taste like spaghetti right now? God dammit! I shouldn't have eaten dinner.
His hands glided back up my legs to the tops of my thighs until his thumbs slid through the lips of my sex. He stopped kissing the area all around my triangle of curls, pulled his head up a little and watched what he was doing with his fingers. I had one eye open at this point so I could see what his next move was. Even though I was freaking out about the fact that my vagina might taste like Chef Boyardee, it was kind of hot to watch Carter stare at me as his hands rested on my thighs and he slid his thumbs up and down through my wetness.
His thumbs slid up one last time, spreading me open as he went. He groaned, and before I could apologize for not letting my lady parts gargle with mouthwash, he dipped his head and wrapped his lips and tongue around me.
A strangled cry flew from my mouth as I arched my back and smacked my hand down on the bed.
All embarrassment was forgotten when his mouth made contact with me. Every thought flew out of my mind and all I could do was feel what he was doing to me. He licked and sucked me into his mouth, letting his lips and tongue slide down to my opening and back up. He flattened his tongue and lapped over top of my clit, up and down, over and over again. The roughness of his tongue and his warm breath hitting my wet skin made me gasp and start moving my hips with the rhythm of his tongue. He moved his lips away, using just the firm tip of his tongue to flick back and forth against the most sensitive spot at a feverish pace.
I could already feel the tingles of my orgasm lurking just beyond my reach. I could hear the sounds of his lips and tongue on me and I didn't even give a shit right now how much those sounds echoed around the quiet room. Carter was going to make me have an orgasm with his mouth and just thinking that in my head made every inch of me throb and my hips thrust faster against him. His tongue slid down my slit and pushed its way inside me. My legs started to shake with the need for release and I could hear myself panting with need. He pushed his tongue in and out of me slowly, over and over, before sucking his way back up. He kissed my clit like he kissed my mouth all those times before - soft lips, swirling tongue, sucking skin. One of his hands moved away from my thigh and I felt the tip of his finger swirling against my opening. Around and around his finger teased while his mouth continued to devour me.
In the haze of pleasure I heard myself chanting "yes, yes" over and over, encouraging him to push his finger inside. His lips and his tongue never stopped their ministrations against me while he complied with my wishes. His long finger slowly glided into me until he was so deep I could feel his knuckles pressed against my skin. With boldness I never knew I possessed, I grabbed onto the back of his head and held him against me, my hips thrusting erratically while his finger began moving in and out of me. He moved his head from side to side so that his mouth glided back and forth over me while he continued pushing and pulling his finger out of me. Before I knew it, my orgasm was rushing through me. I clutched his hair with my fists and held him in place while I bucked my hips and shouted in pleasure.
"Oh God! Ohhhhhh YES!"
Carter continued to lick every drop while I panted and whimpered through my release and slowly came down from the high. If I didn't pull him away, he w
ould probably never stop. But I needed him now. I let go of my death grip on his hair, yanked on his arms and tugged him up my body. He crawled up the length of me, hovered over top of my body and smiled.
"You taste so fucking good. I could do that all night."
Once again, Carter’s dirty talk surprisingly turned me on. I'm pretty sure I let out a growl as I slid my hand down between our bodies and wrapped it around his hardness that rested against my inner thigh. I channeled my dirty slut and pumped my hand up and down his smooth, hard length. I rubbed my thumb back and forth over the wetness that leaked out of the tip, spreading it all around.
"Fuck, shit I need to be inside you," Carter mumbled incoherently. He quickly slid his hands all around the top of the bed next to us and blindly reached for one of the condoms. When his hand finally made purchase, he stood up on his knees between my legs and I watched him take the condom out of the wrapper, place it on the tip of his penis and slide it down. I never really thought something like that would be hot, but son of a bitch! Watching him touch himself, even if it was just to put on a condom was fuck-awesome. As soon as he was sheathed, I reached back down between us and wrapped my hand around his length, needing to touch him. He leaned down over top of my body, wrapping his arm around my waist so he could pull me against him and slide us up to the middle of the bed. I slung my free arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer so I could position him right at my opening. I bent my knees so that his body was cradled in between my legs. He pushed his hips forward just enough that the swollen head slipped inside.
So different from our first time and yet, the same. His body still fit against mine like it was made to be there. His skin against mine still made my entire body tingle with anticipation. I moved my hand off of him and wrapped it around his back, clutching on to him tightly.
He looked into my eyes and I blurted out, "I love you."
He let out a shuddering breath, "So much," he whispered in reply. "I will never, ever regret our first time, but I would give anything if it would have gone a little more like this."
