But Sophie’s musings on the house party’s undercurrent were cut short when she heard voices coming down the path at a hurried pace. Having chosen a seat far from the path’s edge, she doubted they’d notice her, but Sophie held still, hoping they would pass by her unseen.
“Don’t you love the scent of the forest?” asked Lily as they passed. “The soil and leaves all mixing to form a perfume that is the epitome of growing things.”
“I’ve never given it a thought,” said Miss Hettie Nelson. Though there was no malice in her tone, there was an unspoken sigh hidden beneath it, and Sophie thought it strange. Lily was quite right, after all. There was hardly anything better than the smell of the woods.
“Oliver said Sophie knows everything there is…” But their voices grew faint as they continued along the path.
Clutching her journal to her chest, Sophie felt like her insides were going to twist themselves into knots. They were speaking of her and Mr. Kingsley. For all her previous determination to seek nothing further than friendship with the fellow, Sophie found herself stuffing her journal into her satchel and creeping after them.
Lily expounded on the various things Sophie had taught the fellow concerning the local flora and fauna. There were bits here and there that had gotten mangled somewhere between Sophie’s lips and Lily’s, but for the most part, Sophie was awed at how much Mr. Kingsley had told his sister.
“…I’ve wandered the grounds in the morning hoping to spy one myself, but I haven’t been so lucky,” said Lily with a laugh. “It would help if I knew more about the bird I am looking for, but it is so nice to be out of doors that it doesn’t matter. I understand why Sophie adores naturalism so. It is quite fascinating, though I doubt I would ever do more than observe. Oliver says Sophie has read a great many books on the subject, but I cannot fathom slogging through dusty treatises on animals and insects—”
“May I speak candidly with you?” asked Miss Nelson, not bothering to wait for Lily to reach a stopping point.
“Of course, Hettie. You may speak to me about anything.”
Peeking through the bushes like some sort of sneak-thief, Sophie’s good sense told her she ought to be ashamed of eavesdropping, but a niggling feeling skittered down her spine at Miss Nelson’s tone, and Sophie shoved her propriety aside and watched the pair as they stood together on the forest path.
“I do not wish to be harsh or cause offense, but I thought it time to give you some advice,” began Miss Nelson.
“I don’t know if I should be curious or worried,” replied Lily with a laugh.
Miss Nelson shook her head. “Truly, I do not think it all that terrible, but it is always difficult to give little proddings without bruising feelings, and I only wish to help.”
Sucking in a breath, Miss Nelson let it out again, her brows creased with concern as she said, “Mr. Charles Dosett came to me and asked if I might speak to you about an issue.”
“Mr. Charles Dosett?” Lily chuffed. “Whatever could he have to say to me? And why wouldn’t he say it himself?”
“He thought it would be better coming from a friend,” replied Miss Nelson, her lips puckering. “He spoke of how much he enjoys your company and how lively a companion you are but suggested I say something concerning your tendency to babble.”
Sophie straightened, gaping at that, and winced at the rustling sound of the bushes. She stilled and returned to her cover, but the others gave the sound no heed.
Lily’s eyes widened. “Babble?”
The other young lady shifted and waved an airy hand. “Perhaps babble is too hard a word for it, but you do tend to be too effusive in your conversation.” When Lily did not respond, Miss Nelson continued. “He was emphatic that he thought you jolly fun, but there are times when you do not seem to sense that the others are finished with the conversation. And then, you enjoy delving into minute, unimportant details and trailing off onto random topics, meandering all over creation.”
“He thinks I am tedious?” Though Lily managed an impassive facade, her voice cracked as she asked the question.
Miss Nelson took her friend by the hand. “No.” She paused. “Not precisely.” She paused again, her brow furrowing as she thought through her answer. “He was effusive about how much he thought you engaging—”
“Except when I am dull in conversation?”
“Lily, I do not wish to hurt your feelings, but you dominate every conversation, and Mr. Dosett simply wished to make you aware of something men find off-putting. You know how they like to be the center of attention. With a little more self-control, I’ve no doubt you could land yourself a beau.”
Tugging her hands free of Miss Nelson, Lily gave a curt nod of her head. “I see.”
“Please, do not be angry. We only wish to help.”
Lily’s gaze was fixed on the forest floor, but she gave a slow nod. “My thanks, Hettie. I hadn’t realized how trying I can be.”
The young lady’s voice trembled, but Miss Nelson seemed unaware of Lily’s distress, as she continued for a few more minutes, exploring the depth of the complaint and attempting to nullify both Charles Dosett’s and her own culpability for Lily’s pain. The young lady’s shoulders shuddered, and silent tears gathered in her eyes.
“Perhaps we ought to join the others,” said Miss Nelson. “Or would you rather wander to the river?”
Lily shook her head and said, her words stumbling and tripping as her lips trembled. “I think I’d prefer to stay here for now. The shade is quite pleasant, and I could use some solitude, as you have given me much to think about.”
“Of course, Lily.” With a parting pat of her hand on the young lady’s arm, Hettie turned and sauntered away. Lily’s hand flew to her mouth, as though holding in the emotions bubbling out of her, and she stood there, shaking, while Miss Nelson disappeared deeper into the woods.
The first sob broke through the forest, though Lily smothered it. But another came on its heels. And another, her cries filling the air. Sophie’s heart seized in her chest, but she didn’t know what to do. Though the young lady had been polite, Sophie hadn’t spoken to her much since Mrs. Kingsley had banned any fraternization between them. Yet the sounds of Lily’s heart breaking begged Sophie to do something.
“Lily?” she called, stepping out from behind her hiding place as the young lady turned away, wiping at her face as her shoulders shook. “Are you all right?”
“Quite all right,” Lily replied with feigned brightness, though it was broken by jagged breaths. There was no hiding her red eyes as she turned to give a watery smile. At seeing who it was, Lily’s expression faltered.
“You do not seem it,” insisted Sophie.
Lily’s gaze dropped to the ground. “You are very kind to ask, but I am well enough.”
Coming over to her side, Sophie dropped her satchel. “No, you are not.”
Chin trembling, Lily waved her away. “I am just being silly. It will pass.”
But all semblance of control faded, and her expression crumpled, another sob breaking through as tears flowed. Taking Lily by the arm, Sophie guided her to a felled tree and sat her down. Planting herself beside the poor young lady, Sophie wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they shook.
“Miss Nelson was wrong to say what she did,” said Sophie.
Lily’s wet eyes flew to hers, her words jerking. “You witnessed that?”
“It was ludicrous. I’ve adored the moments we’ve spent together.”
“Yet how can I deny the truth of her words?” Lily asked, more tears coursing down her cheeks. “I have known Hettie my entire life and thought we were friends, but she was only tolerating me?”
“That is not what she said.”
“It was her meaning,” said Lily. “I am enjoyable—except when I speak.”
Sophie held her tighter. “Do not give weight to those words. It is only her opinion and not fact. There are plenty who appreciate the whole you. I’ve known you a short time, yet I would say without hesita
tion that I adore our time together.”
“But how many others feel exactly like Hettie?” asked Lily, her words broken and jagged. “I doubt she and Mr. Charles Dosett are alone in their opinions. How many gentlemen find me unbearably tedious?”
“If they do not like you as you are, then that is their failing and not yours,” said Sophie. “Your conversation is wonderful and insightful.”
Lily’s dark eyes were so like her brothers, and they met Sophie’s. Though the forest canopy blocked out most of the sunlight, Sophie saw the tears glimmering there.
“Why are you so kind to me? My mother has been beastly to you, yet you are sitting here, comforting me.”
“Your mother has her reasons for not trusting me, Lily,” replied Sophie. “And I cannot fault her for them.”
“You should, for it is unfair of her to judge you so.” But any other words Lily might’ve said were lost as another bout of tears gripped her.
There was nothing Sophie could do to ease that pain. Miss Nelson’s words could not be recalled, and no amount of assurances would wipe them from memory. So, Sophie did the only thing she could, and gave Lily a shoulder upon which to cry.
Chapter 19
Time slipped by, and Victoria refused to mark its passing. Surely it was inconsequential when enveloped in such beauty. It was eternal. All-encompassing. This moment had no end or beginning, and she would not taint its beauty with something so mundane as minutes and seconds.
Victoria was grateful for the tree at her back, giving her added support as she clung to Elijah. The world dissolved, muting the sounds of nature until only his voice could be heard, murmuring precious tokens of love. Elijah surrounded her, filling her heart and mind to the exclusion of all else.
Surely no heart could contain such elation and joy, and Victoria now understood why silly young ladies in romances swooned after such declarations of love.
“I wish we could stay like this forever,” she whispered.
“You could make it so with only one word.”
Victoria met his gaze, her brows twisting in an unspoken question.
“Will you be my wife?” he murmured.
And with that, the clock began to tick, and the world spun again.
Hands coming to his chest, Victoria pushed against him, though he did not budge. “You know I cannot, Elijah.”
“Because of duty and not desire.”
“Does it matter?”
Elijah’s blue eyes sparked with a fire that seemed to burn in his heart. “It matters a great deal. If you rejected me because you do not and could not love me, then I would never ask you again. But I will not surrender when you keep me at arm’s length solely because of a misplaced sense of responsibility.”
“You think me able to keep you at arm’s length?” she asked, giving her arms a wry glance as they nudged him away to no avail.
“I understand your reasons, but I will not allow you to sacrifice your happiness without a fight, Victoria.” His hand crept up to her face, his thumb brushing against her lower lip. “Mr. Flemming is helping me to claw my way up the ranks. Even if I must do it alone, I will make a success of myself, but with you by my side, we would burst through any obstacles. Together, we could help shape our country.”
Victoria’s breath caught at the thought of that future. That glorious golden hope dangling mere inches from her grasp. “But what of my sisters? Any success we garner would arrive too late for them.”
The pad of his thumb traced the lips he’d kissed so soundly. “I am merely asking for time, Victoria. Miriam is only just stepping into society. You needn’t surrender your future right this instant. Do not give up on us.”
Elijah’s lips captured hers once more, but where the others were scorching and consuming, this was a caress. From an outsider’s perspective, it might’ve appeared chaste, except no simple press of lips held such emotion and promise. Victoria felt his heart in that kiss, and it did more to ensnare hers than—
“Victoria!”
Her sister’s voice sliced through the forest, sending Victoria leaping away as though hot coals had been shoveled down her dress. With a step and push, she put distance between herself and Elijah, though he did not relinquish his hold on her hand.
“Miriam…” Victoria’s throat tightened, her mouth drying like a dead leaf on a hot summer’s day. Her gaze turned from her sister to Elijah and back again before settling on their clasped hands.
Anger burned in Miriam’s eyes, and with a scowl, she turned and fled.
“Miriam!” Victoria moved to follow, but Elijah did not release her. Shaking her head, she tugged her hand free, putting more distance between them. “I am not free to marry as I wish, Elijah. Why must you keep tormenting me with what cannot be?”
“Please, do not give up on us, Victoria.” Elijah’s handsome eyes gave weight to his pleading tone.
“I cannot abandon my family to pursue my own desires.”
Elijah nodded, though the determination in his gaze did not fade. He stepped towards her and took her hand in his, lifting it to his lips and pressing another token to her palm. “I meant it, Victoria. I will not cry defeat. There is no retreat for me.”
Her feet seemed to move of their own accord, drawing her closer, her lips drawing out his name like a prayer. But sense returned, and she shook her head.
“I am not free, Elijah.”
And with that, Victoria hitched her skirts and ran after her sister. Miriam had not been so bold as to do the same, and Victoria caught her before the edge of the clearing. Grabbing Miriam by the arm, Victoria tugged her to a stop.
“How could you do that to Mr. Kingsley?” Miriam fairly shouted, and Victoria cringed at the accusation ringing through the forest.
“I’ve done nothing—”
“You were kissing another man!” Miriam’s words were harsh and biting, and Victoria tried to hush her, casting a glance around them, but they were too far from any others to be heard.
“I admit it wasn’t an honorable thing to do,” said Victoria, reaching for her sister’s hand, though Miriam moved away. “However, Mr. Kingsley and I are not engaged yet…”
But that excuse sounded hollow even to her desperate ears.
Miriam’s jaw tightened and her gaze held such disappointment and disgust that a flash of heat swept over Victoria, settling into her heart like a stone. In all the protestations she’d given Elijah, Victoria hadn’t spared one thought to how her actions betrayed her beau.
“It was wrong, but it wasn’t intentional. I hadn’t anticipated…” Victoria’s words trailed off, her cheeks blazing as she thought about how to describe it. Speaking explicitly of the kisses felt too personal, and calling it an interlude was too impersonal. So, she began anew. “…I did not enter those woods anticipating a tryst. But neither can I say I was unhappy about it.”
Leaning forward, Victoria held Miriam’s gaze, infusing it with all the joyful feelings of her heart. “I love Mr. Dixon.”
Miriam’s brows pinched together, her mouth twisting into a frown. “How can you say that? Mr. Kingsley is a good man, Victoria. Even if you did not care about his family’s resources and all the blessings that brings, he is kind and generous and apt to be as good a husband as any lady could desire.”
“And Mr. Dixon will be as good a husband—”
“Do you truly wish to live in a tiny rented house in a poor neighborhood with a dozen squalling brats filling the place to bursting?” asked Miriam, her head shaking at the very thought of it. “Or do you wish to go on as Mama and Papa have done, feigning wealth while living in fear that someone will discover the truth or the debt collectors will finally call their bill due? Either way, you will spend your life counting every shilling and fretting over every expense. Is that what you want when Mr. Kingsley is offering you so much more?”
Miriam’s words shivered along Victoria’s spine; what woman would wish for such a difficult life? But the worry did not settle long inside her.
“
I admit it would be difficult at first, but Mr. Dixon has a bright future ahead of him. He is bound to be successful in his career, and any hardships endured at first would ease. It is a price I am willing to pay if I can be his wife.”
In truth, Victoria didn’t know why she was speaking of such things. She knew the course set out for her. The proper choice to be made. And yet, this confrontation was drawing forth all the pleadings of her heart, which promised her a glorious future with Elijah was possible.
Her sister stilled, not even breathing as Victoria spoke. For several long moments, Miriam merely held her sister’s gaze.
“And what of Irene, Gladys, and myself? How are we to marry with our pitiful dowries?”
Victoria opened her mouth to respond, though no words were forthcoming, and Miriam spoke over her at any rate.
“I would never ask you to marry unhappily or to some brute. I couldn’t stand the thought of you shouldering a lifetime of agony for our sakes,” whispered Miriam with wide, desperate eyes as she took Victoria’s hand in hers. “But Mr. Kingsley is a good man. Yours would be a strong marriage and a happy partnership that would bring the added blessing of saving your family as well. Yet you would rather abandon us because you want some romantic fantasy with Mr. Dixon? Is the happiness Mr. Kingsley offers not enough?”
Victoria’s thoughts darted about at that accusation. “It wouldn’t be impossible for you to marry. If I found a Mr. Kingsley, sure you could—”
But Miriam let out a huff, shaking her head as she released Victoria’s hand. “Do you think such gentlemen are easy to find? I’ve watched you struggle for years to find such a man, and I do not have your bearing and wit. I am pretty enough, but there are plenty of young ladies who are prettier and come with a proper dowry.”
Stepping away, Miriam straightened her skirts, her lips trembling. “I fear for you, Victoria. Do not make the mistake of tossing aside Mr. Kingsley. You will be happy with him and bless the lives of your entire family. Is Mr. Dixon worth losing all of that?”
Victoria’s heart ceased beating, which was for the best, as it felt as brittle as a leaf and was liable to crumble away into nothing. Miriam strode away without a backward glance, leaving her elder sister to wonder how many times one’s world could be upended in a single day. Both Miriam and Elijah had appeared unexpectedly, setting it all in a dither before abandoning her to pick up the pieces.
Hearts Entwined (Victorian Love Book 3) Page 13
