by Abbey North
He did not look up from removing it from the pouch. “It is a condom, Lizzy, and is made from the membrane of a sheep’s gut. It provides a barrier between my seed and your sweet quim to prevent conception.”
“Oh.” It was a strange device, and she wondered if it was comfortable, but it mattered not. Neither of them was foolish enough to risk this assignation without its use. Mr. Darcy surely did not want a bastard any more than she did.
Once he wore it, he returned to between her splayed thighs. He parted them wider as he settled between them, the head of his cock nestling against her opening. Lizzy tensed as he eased inside, taking a deep breath to steel herself for the pain. Slowly, his shaft breached her an inch at a time, pausing to make shallow thrusts that soon had her throttling toward…something. “Please, Mr. Darcy, I need…rather more.”
He muttered something incomprehensible, but she swore she heard curse words in there. Perhaps he was cursing his own lack of control, but she reveled in it when he finally surged completely inside her. Thanks to his careful ministrations, there was very little pain. It was more of a pinching sensation that soon disappeared as he thrust in and out.
He started slowly, but it wasn’t long before they were both moving rapidly, driven by an uncontrollable need as they thrust against each other, his hands holding her hips in a punishing grasp as she dug her fingernails into his back. Lizzy had no wish to harm him. She simply needed an anchor to which to cling, or the pure bliss would sweep her away.
It could have been minutes or hours that they moved together before his cock hardened further and started to tremble, the first surge of his release shooting inside her. She could feel a swell of warmth through the condom, but there was no subsequent increase in fluids. His solution must have worked.
Feeling him spasm inside her triggered a climax for Lizzy, who tightened around him, thighs holding him close and heart racing in her ears as she experienced ecstasy that she had never known before.
As she came down from the orgasm, she forgot herself and their arrangement for a moment. All she felt was gratitude for the pleasure he’d given her as she pressed tiny kisses to his face before taking his mouth in another deep kiss. She whimpered when he pulled away. “Mr. Darcy?” How utterly ridiculous it was to call him by his surname after what they had shared, but she didn’t have leave to use Fitzwilliam and could scarcely imagine calling him that.
“There is no need to feign affection, Lizzy. Our arrangement is about mutual pleasure. Keep your kisses to yourself unless I initiate them.”
“Yes, sir.” She blinked at the harsh rejection, struggling not to cry. Lizzy despised crying in front of anyone, especially a sanctimonious prig like Darcy. It still took a moment to regain control. “May I return to my room now, Mr. Darcy?”
“No. I might want you again.” He collapsed beside her, his arm a reassuring weight across her stomach as he drew her nearer. Despite his harsh reminder of the circumstances that brought them to this room, her traitorous heart couldn’t help finding a spark of hope when he pressed a kiss to her brow and held her without speaking. He claimed not to want false affections, yet he was certainly doling them out—leaving Lizzy to wonder how much was actually false?
Chapter Four
Lizzy had returned to her bed in the wee hours of the morning, once Darcy had finished with her after taking her twice more. Each time, he had forgotten his embargo on affection and kissed and held her tenderly throughout. Lizzy had not forgotten and forced herself to remain aloof as much as possible.
Yet she still found herself thoroughly ravished and completely lacking in innocence as she laid in her own bed the next morning. A low ache pulsed between her thighs, but it was almost pleasant. The night had gone much better than she had expected, aside from his rebuke.
She had lacked a full grasp of what to expect, but she had known there would be pain. That it had been minimal and over with quickly, followed by intense pleasure, was a boon.
In the situation, she could only hope that each night was like that. So far, being Mr. Darcy’s mistress was no hardship, and the condom he had shown her and used with her made her confident there would be no Darcy bastards to result from their agreement.
She was moving slowly, still struggling to stay awake and wake up for the day after lack of sleep the night before, when Jane burst into her room. Her sister was flushed with excitement, with her golden curls confined into a perfect chignon. She was clearly awake and quite lively. Elizabeth barely managed to keep her eyes open. “What has you so cheerful this morning, dear sister?”
“Mrs. Reynolds relayed to me that Mr. Bingley will arrive today.”
Lizzy smiled, happy for her sister. Then she groaned. “I suppose he’ll be bringing along the Hursts and that miserable Miss Bingley?”
Jane’s grin grew. “There is even better news, dear Lizzy. Mr. Bingley comes alone, or perhaps only with Mr. Hurst, if he isn’t recovering from a night spent deep in his cups. The visit is ostensibly to fish and shoot, but I do hope to have some time alone with him.” She flushed. “Not completely alone, of course. That would be improper.”
Thinking of how she’d spent the previous evening completely alone with Darcy, she couldn’t help nodding. “Most inappropriate.” Why did those words bring a strange flush of pride for her rather than fill her with shame as they should? Could it be that she reveled in the night she’d spent with Darcy, and part of her enjoyed throwing off the rules of society that would have forbidden them from having such a night if she had not been his mistress?
Perhaps so. Lizzy knew her own mind, and she was often on the wrong side of convention, though she rarely acted on her thoughts. She could be headstrong and willful, and she rarely shied away from sharing her opinion with close acquaintances, so she supposed it shouldn’t shock her that she was finding pleasure in being Mr. Darcy’s mistress.
Jane took her leave a minute later, so Lizzy could prepare for the day. She was startled when a young woman in a maid’s uniform entered her room a moment after. “Yes?”
“Mr. Darcy says I am to be your personal attendant, Miss Bennet.” She curtsied. “I am Maeve. Shall I help you with your hair and dressing?”
Lizzy nodded. “Would it be most inconvenient to arrange for a bath first?” The essence of Darcy still clung to her skin. He did not come inside her, but his saliva was on her body, and his scent seemed to have seeped into her pores. Part of her reveled in that and enjoyed it very much, but she would be full of discomfort to appear in front of others still smelling of her lover.
“Of course not, miss. I shall see to it right away.” With another curtsy, the brunette maid quickly disappeared. She returned a short time later with several men. One carried a copper tub, and a few others filled it with pails of warm water. The maid put another pail to warm by the fireplace, and then she assisted Lizzy with removing her nightdress.
Lizzy suppressed a groan when Maeve gasped. She looked down to see bruises that clearly resembled fingerprints on her hips. She met Maeve’s gaze in the mirror for a moment before the maid hastily looked away. Maeve must clearly intuit from where those bruises came, though she might not firmly know the gentleman responsible for them.
She took a deep breath. “I can have no gossip, Maeve.”
Maeve met her gaze briefly again and gave a tight nod. “Of course not, Miss Bennet.”
Mollified as much as she could be without knowing the maid’s character, Lizzy took full advantage of the bath. It was heavenly to soak away the slight ache lingering in her quim. She reveled in the water and the scented oil Maeve liberally applied to it.
When she finally stepped out, her skin was glowing, and she had scrubbed it to a healthy pink in her efforts to remove Mr. Darcy’s scent. Now, she smelled only like rose oil, not Darcy’s unique scent. She tried not to mourn that change.
When she was dressed in a lavender half-dress, she ventured downstairs. Pemberley was enormous, and she had yet to have a tour of it. She would impose on Mrs. Reynolds
for such later, but for now, she relied on the assistance of servants to help her find the breakfast room.
When she arrived, Darcy, Jane, and Georgiana were already there. She avoided Darcy’s eyes, conscious of the blush creeping up her cheeks. The mere thought of the intimate things she’d done with him the evening before was enough to make her squirm with embarrassment and threatened to paralyze her in the doorway.
It was only Georgiana’s wide-eyed look, and clear curiosity, that spurred her forward. She inclined her head to Darcy’s sister. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Georgiana. Mr. Darcy has told us much about you.”
Georgiana seemed shy, but she smiled. “I have heard much about you as well, Miss Elizabeth.”
Lizzy couldn’t help flicking a glance in Darcy’s direction, though she blushed even fiercer when their gazes locked for a moment. When she hastily looked back at Georgiana, she managed to sound lighthearted when she said, “I do hope at least some of it was flattering.”
“Do not be ridiculous, Miss Elizabeth. I have sung only your praises to my sister. Yours as well, Miss Jane,” said Darcy.
They fell into companionable conversation over breakfast, with the topic of discussion centering on Mr. Bingley’s impromptu visit. Lizzy suspected there was more forethought then Darcy was admitting, since part of their agreement had been to allow Jane to return to Bingley’s social sphere. She hoped Mr. Bingley took one look at Jane and remembered how much he had grown to care for her before Darcy’s interference.
For her part, Jane seemed to be trying to be sedate, and after they had finished breakfasting, when it was just the two of them in the room for the moment, Lizzy asked, “Are you not excited about Mr. Bingley’s arrival? You seemed delighted earlier.”
Jane bit her lip. “I suppose I have had an epiphany, dear sister. Mr. Bingley had no interest in me these last many months, so I must prepare myself to meet him as just a distant acquaintance. We must be able to be polite and aloof with each other, and I shall refuse to recall the way he once made my heart race.” She bit her lip, appearing on the verge of crying for a moment. “It is a foolish hope to nurture that he still has interest in me.”
Lizzy reached out to touch her sister’s hand. “I do not believe it is a foolish hope to think he might still love you, sweet Jane. Perhaps circumstances beyond his control forced the separation. That he is coming so quickly upon learning you are here must be a good sign, do you not agree?”
After a moment, Jane nodded, looking a little more optimistic. “My love for him remains unchanged, so I cannot bear it if he sees me as only an acquaintance.” She burst into tears.
That was very unlike Jane, who was usually diligent about revealing few of her emotions, particularly when someone else might see them. There had been a few times over the years when Jane had let herself give in to tears or other strong emotions, but only when she and Lizzy were in private.
Alarmed by the show of her distress, she leaned over and hugged her sister. “All will be well. At best, Mr. Bingley will remember his great affection for you. Perhaps you will be Mrs. Bingley. At worst, he will see you as a distant friend. Your heart will break, but you will move on. You will find someone you love with equal fervor.”
Jane slowly regained control, and she hiccupped as she pulled away a moment later. “I pray you are right, but I do not imagine that I can ever feel so strongly about another man again. I fear that if Mr. Bingley does not want our union, I shall end up a spinster. Perhaps I can be the beloved aunt to your children?”
Lizzy couldn’t help an unladylike snort. “I have no plans to marry, and you should know that by now, Jane.” She certainly had no ability to marry now that she had lost her virginity the night before, and the man who’d taken it had no interest in becoming her husband.
She would not wish to marry another, since she wanted only to marry for love, so she could understand Jane’s point-of-view. “Perhaps we shall be the spinster sisters living in a small cottage by the sea. We do so love Brighton.” Unless Wickham was there, as he was now. It cast a pall on the whole area, but the militia wouldn’t be there forever.
“You are so good to me, Lizzy. I do appreciate you trying to cheer me. I understand and recognize I should be elated rather than depressed at the return of Mr. Bingley to my life, but I fear the unknown. What if he can barely tolerate me now?”
Lizzy clicked her tongue. “I find that completely unlikely, dear, sweet Jane. More likely, he has been pining for you as you pined for him. Meet him with an open mind and an open heart. If the love is still there, you shall soon know it.”
Jane seemed cheered by her advice, and she was soon departing the breakfast room. Lizzy lingered for a moment longer, wishing she believed her own words. She wanted Jane to be optimistic and happy, but she wondered if she should have tempered her words with some caution.
Lizzy knew well enough that love did not always remain, and it could grow stale and frigid. Tender affection could become misshapen into something like a deeply controlling lust that guided one to make poor decisions that would lead to no one’s happiness.
“I do believe you are right.”
She let out a startled gasp as Mr. Darcy spoke from behind her. She turned in her chair to look at him. “Right about what?” Her heart raced at the sight of him, and she couldn’t help recalling flashes of the evening before, which brought a flush of heat her cheeks.
His lips tilted slightly, as though he recognized the reason for her blush. “Your sister is in love with Charles Bingley. I did a disservice to her and to him by keeping them apart. You are correct about the affection she feels for him. I would not have believed it from her stoic demeanor had I not witnessed her burst into tears and be comforted by you.”
“I am so pleased you agree with me,” she said tartly. “Does that mean you will not meddle in the natural unfolding of their affair?”
“I have no intention of meddling in anyone’s affairs.” He came closer, putting his hand on her shoulder. “I have enough of my own affair to handle.” His fingers dipped beneath the bodice of her dress, grazing her nipple as he wiggled his finger between her corset and her breast. “I should like to see you for a short time in my study, Miss Bennet.”
“Have I done something wrong?” Whenever her father had summoned her to his study, it had been to chastise her for something. Her stomach rolled as she wondered if he would be giving a critique of her flaws in last night’s performance. Would he lay out all that she had done wrong and his expectations for correction? The idea was too humiliating to bear, and she wished she had a way to decline his request.
“Not at all. Please come with me.” His tone brooked no argument.
Lizzy rose from the breakfast table and followed him through a convoluted path to a room on the main floor. It had a stunning view of Pemberley’s grounds from the wall that was almost entirely windows. “This is beautiful.”
He inclined his head as he came to stand behind her. “As are you.” His lips ghosted down the side of her neck before he nipped her lightly at the bend of her shoulder. As he did so, his hands worked the ties of her dress, and it soon dropped to her waist before fluttering downward to the floor. Lizzy intuited that she was not here for scolding, but for more pleasure. She turned in his arms and heartily embraced the idea.
When they met for dinner, it was obvious Jane and Mr. Bingley had picked up right where they left off. There was great affection in their shared gazes, and Jane seemed to be quite giggly. Toward the end of the meal, she and Charles shared a look before she smiled at his nod. “Oh, Lizzy, I have the best news. Mr. Bingley has asked for my hand. Of course, he must get formal permission from Uncle Gardiner, but I highly doubt that will be an obstacle.”
“Undoubtedly, Uncle Gardiner shall immediately agree.” She smiled, happy for her sister, though she wondered where it would leave her. Jane was here at Pemberley ostensibly as her chaperone. Darcy was unlikely to let her go so soon, so what would become of her reputation w
hen Jane left Pemberley? “Have you set a time for the wedding?”
“We are thinking perhaps October.” Lizzy scowled as she said that, clearly unhappy to wait three months. “Mother will no doubt insist on many fineries, along with fussing over each detail.”
“It is but three months away. That sounds like a sensible time to me.” Darcy dabbed at his mouth with a linen napkin.
Jane looked sad. “It is sensible, Mr. Darcy, but my heart wishes to be insensible. We have been apart too long. I do not wish to wait three more months to be Mrs. Bingley.”
Lizzy closely observed Darcy, expecting him to show offense at her sister’s choice of words, since they sounded like those of a fortune hunter. Knowing they were sincerely meant in a far different context had her defensive on her sister’s behalf.
Mr. Darcy gave her a gentle smile. “Perhaps you can convince her to move up the wedding slightly then.”
Lizzy reached across the table and squeezed her sister’s hand as she flashed Darcy a grateful look. She nodded at Mr. Bingley. “I am so pleased for the both of you. I am glad to see that time lost is not time wasted.”
Jane and Charles shared a beaming grin, and then talk centered on the wedding. As she seemed to be more of an observer than a contributor, Lizzy was pleased to note Georgiana seemed interested in the events, and Mr. Darcy’s sister clearly had a keen eye for fashion and a strong knowledge of what was currently in style with the Ton.
She could see Georgiana blossoming throughout the discussion, and she hoped that for however long she and Jane might be at Pemberley, they might benefit Miss Georgiana, who clearly struggled with shyness along with the internal stain of what had happened to her last summer by Wickham’s design.
Chapter Five
Elizabeth was surprised that Jane had convinced their mother to allow the nuptials as soon as late-August. She was happy for her sister, though it meant a great deal of work to be done, and it also left her in an uncertain position.
