by Abbey North
She nodded and scooted up the bed again, getting more comfortable by lying on her left side. That was all the room she had to position herself before he moved.
A moment later, he curved his body behind hers, lifting her right leg to prop on his and opening her pelvis. Darcy spent a moment positioning himself, and then his cock slid inside her in one easy thrust. They hadn’t had sex in days, but she had been in such a constant state of arousal that she was completely ready for him.
He set a slow pace, deliberately dragging the ridge of his cock against a deliciously pleasing spot deep inside her channel as he thrust slowly in and out of her. She was impatient and needy, so she brought a hand between her thighs and strummed her clit as he made love to her slowly. She was so close already that it took only a few strokes to send her over the edge.
He moaned and stopped moving as her sheath pulsed around him, clenching fiercely for a moment. When her inner muscles stopped spasming, he began thrusting again, but his pace was no longer slow and steady. He was driving himself deeply into her before withdrawing almost completely to repeat the motion.
Once again, he changed his angle slightly, and something about the new position increased her pleasure anew. Another orgasm swept over Lizzy as she cried out his name. His shaft hardened before he started twitching, and streams of his seed filled her. She gasped as she realized he had not worn the condom or pulled out.
Afterward, they collapsed together, still joined, and his hand covered her stomach. It was a protective gesture, but also possessive. She couldn’t help thinking about the possibility they had created a child this evening, with their careless oversight. Were his thoughts in a similar place, since he was holding her stomach so gently?
She was moderately frightened by the possibility of pregnancy, bit it did not terrify her as it once had. Sensible Lizzy knew she was being a fool not to be concerned, but hopelessly in love Lizzy dominated at the moment, and she could not imagine Darcy being so dishonorable as to leave her to bear his child out of wedlock. Surely, tonight’s gentle lovemaking must be a sign that he still loved her?
Chapter Nine
She settled in quite nicely at Grosvenor Street, enjoying the townhouse and the bustle of London. She longed for Pemberley, which had started to feel like home, but she could be content here for now.
Taking advantage of socializing engagements not available in Pemberley, Georgiana had been venturing out more, as long as Lizzy accompanied her. She was becoming quite the belle of the ball, though she had not yet had a season to be invited to any actual balls. She had made a number of acquaintances that required daily correspondence in just a fortnight. This day, fifteen days after Jane’s wedding, Georgiana let out a sigh.
She looked up. “What troubles you?”
“I could have sworn I had more of that dark green velvet ribbon, but I appear to be out.” She sighed dramatically. “It is fast becoming my signature, along with the Darcy crest. What shall I do?” She glanced out the window, where it was pouring rain. “I would not dare go out in this weather. Nor would I send out a servant.”
“Dark green ribbon?” At Georgiana’s nod, she said, “Wait here. I might have something that will do.” She got to her feet and left the sitting room where she and Georgiana were pursuing their own interests. Georgiana had been writing letters while she was practicing the pianoforte.
Her fingers were nimble, warmed up from playing, so she was able to rifle through her things quickly and find the box of writing supplies. She opened it and sorted through her ribbons, finding the green hidden toward the bottom. Hopefully, the few yards she had would be sufficient for Georgiana’s needs before she could restock at a local merchant once the weather improved.
She left the items open on her bed and hurried back to give Georgiana the ribbon. Seeing the young girl smile was more than enough compensation for the slight inconvenience of digging it out of her writing kit. She quickly returned to practicing, not giving it another thought.
Darcy found himself out of sorts and missing Elizabeth. It was the middle of the day, so he couldn’t very well have her in his bed at this time. He could think of no good excuse that would provide ample cover and preserve her reputation that would allow them sufficient time alone, so he decided to make do with visiting her room to retrieve a token that bore her scent. That might allow him to carry on until evening.
That he was getting so addicted to Lizzy should alarm him. He was certainly regarding her as far more than a mistress, and his thoughts had turned of late to offering marriage. He owed her nothing and no obligation, especially in light of their contract and her scandalous behavior in accepting it, but he was no less scandalous for offering.
Truly, he did not hold it against her that she had accepted the position to be his mistress. It was the best option she had at the time for both herself and her family. Women were woefully crippled when it came to financial matters and self-autonomy, so he could hardly blame her for taking the solution presented.
Still, he held a grudge that she had pretended to love him to get him to accept her as his wife. If she had just been honest about her lack of options and motives when she came to him, he likely would have offered for her then.
At times, he felt corroding guilt for what he had thrust upon her, but when she was in his bed, it was far easier to manage those feelings. He could lose himself in her silken skin and her soft sighs of satisfaction. Lizzy’s pleasure was usually ample balm to soothe his guilt.
Yet, the thoughts persisted. Did it really matter that she had not loved him? Maybe she did not love him still, but she gave every appearance of doing so. If she was only a consummate actress, did it matter as long as he was convinced of her performance?
The idea of allowing her to leave, to become some other man’s kept woman, did not sit well with him. Yet, he couldn’t keep her as his mistress forever. Eventually, as a wealthy man, he would have to marry. It was already assumed by the ladies of the Ton that he was in want of a wife. There was only one woman he wanted for his wife, and he could not imagine keeping her as his mistress while he paraded a legal wife in front of her.
There would be no great affection with any woman he was forced to choose besides Lizzy, but he couldn’t help imagining how painful it would be for her to know the circumstances, to be subjected to the reminder that she could not be his wife. Even if she believed he did not love his wife, Lizzy would be hurt if he tried to keep her as his mistress upon marrying.
She was still his social inferior and she was a manipulative vixen, but those things mattered less and less to him.
There was also the matter of the forgotten condom two weeks ago. Thus far, Lizzy showed no signs of being with child, but it was far too soon to be confident—and he had become laxer about wearing it in the last few days, craving the silken heat of her channel wrapped around him with no barriers.
It was almost as though he wanted her to get pregnant. Was he looking for an excuse to have to offer for her?
He knew immediately that would be a grim mistake. If Lizzy believed he was only offering because of an accidental pregnancy, she would never believe he could overlook her mistakes and lapses in good character to love her. They would be together, but it would hamper their chances for happiness, just as the knowledge she had tried to lie to him still weighed heavily upon him.
Thoughts occupied by her, and the predicament of his own making by suggesting this arrangement, he waited until there were no servants nearby before slipping into her room. It was crazy behavior he was undertaking, but he just needed some small token of her, something to remind him of how it felt to hold her.
He sat down on her bed, first reaching for her dressing gown. It smelled like her, and he inhaled deeply. His cock twitched at the scent of her and only increased his desire. He feared this endeavor had backfired as he grew rapidly hard and contemplated the idea of staying in her room and waiting for her to return for some errand, so he could ambush her and rush her off to bed.
&nb
sp; He shifted, trying to make his trousers more comfortable, and a wooden box beside him tipped over. Several quills and nibs fell out, and he rushed to pick them up. As he did so, he disrupted a stack of parchment, and his gaze picked out his name.
Abandoning the quills on the bed, no longer worried about remnants of ink staining the coverlet and revealing he’d been there, he lifted the pile of correspondences. It did not take long to realize they were all addressed to him, and they were all unfinished.
Each one was an attempt to make amends and apologize for her rash decisions and hasty rejection of his proposal at Hunsford. Each one admitted she loved him, and his heart skipped a beat when he realized the oldest of the correspondences was dated weeks before her father’s sudden illness and death, just shortly after she had rejected his proposal in April.
Lizzy had loved him before Mr. Bennet’s death. She had not lied to him as he had assumed, thinking she wished to gain favor with him. No, Lizzy had come to him with true intent and genuine love, and he had taken it and twisted it into something ugly and vile. He had used it against her, weaponizing her love and her sad position after her father’s death to force her into becoming a dishonorable woman.
He had wronged her greatly, and he wasted no time in setting about righting that terrible wrong. Still grasping the correspondences, he moved through the townhouse, shouting for her. “Lizzy? Where are you?”
A startled maid popped out one of the rooms she was cleaning. “If you are seeking Miss Bennet, she is in the main floor sitting room with Miss Georgiana, Mr. Darcy.” She curtsied as she offered the information.
He nodded his thanks, realizing he was behaving in a reckless manner. Running through the halls shouting for her would only stir gossip, so he was thankful the maid had intercepted him with her information, and he could only hope she held her tongue when it came to gossip.
He could devote little care for that at the moment though, and he quickly found Lizzy just as the maid had stated, playing the pianoforte while Georgiana wrote letters. He entered the room and cleared his throat. “My dear sister, I would impose upon you to take your correspondences elsewhere. I need to speak to Lizzy…Miss Bennet…in private.”
With her hasty gathering of supplies, she spared him a look that was full of awareness. “Good luck, dear brother,” she whispered as she walked past him. Clearly, Georgiana had gleaned his intentions for requesting a private audience with Lizzy.
He followed behind her and locked the sitting room door. Apparently, that signaled to Lizzy that he wanted something else, because she stood up. She started to unbutton the front of her dress, and he was pained by her willingness to compromise herself so easily. He had pushed her to this, and he was a foul villain, no better than a man like Wickham. “Cease.” He snapped the word more harshly than he’d intended, angry only with himself, not her.
Her hands immediately dropped from her dress, and she seemed to be bracing herself as she walked closer to him. She held herself with dignity, and he could barely see the hint of fear underneath her smooth veneer. “Is this it then, Mr. Darcy? Have you reached full satiety with me and are prepared to send me on my way?”
She didn’t sound troubled, but her gaze was wounded. She could not hide that. “I promise I shan’t make a fuss if you are finished with me. We have an agreement, after all, and I do not wish to leave you with a bad impression of my manners.” She seemed to struggle to find a faint smile. “I certainly cannot undo the bad impression you have of my morals, but still, I wish to leave peacefully.”
“That is most unfortunate, because you are not going anywhere.” It wasn’t the romantic statement he’d planned to make, but he enjoyed the way her eyes widened, and there was a hint of hope in her gaze. “I have been a dishonorable wretch, casting you in the role of ruined woman because of hurt feelings and unbending pride.” He held out the correspondences to her.
She took them with a scowl. “How did you come across these? These are my personal property, Mr. Darcy. I distinctly left them in my room.”
“I was in your room in search of you.” That small half-truth seemed easier than explaining his odd idea of taking a trinket like a hair ribbon that could remind him of her scent until he could be with her.
“Instead, I found these on the bed. I saw my name, and curiosity got the best of me. I have read them all, and I know they all say essentially the same thing. You are sorry for your harsh rejection and for believing Wickham, and you discovered your love for me. Yet none of them are finished, and none were sent.”
She remained unaffected or seemed to. “Yes, I believe I discussed that with you previously, but it was of no interest to you, Mr. Darcy, so I cannot imagine why it matters now.”
He winced, recalling how he had boldly accused her of lying to gain favor. “I am sorry, Lizzy. I believed you had used my affection for you as a means to get me to agree to marriage. Rather than consider the idea, or examine the facts and realize you have never lied to me, I allowed my pride to dictate my reaction.”
She offered no words of argument.
He looked down for a moment, nearly overwhelmed by shame. “I set you onto a scandalous course, and I fear the only way I can remedy that is by marriage. I have not yet gotten formal permission from your Uncle Gardiner, but I am asking informally if you will marry me?”
Her eyes widened, and then she frowned. “No, thank you, Mr. Darcy. Your concern is noted, but it is unwarranted. I would not have you make such a grand sacrifice just to address a small wrong you have done me. In the vast scheme of things, it matters not. You provided assistance when my family needed it, and I accepted the conditions.”
His jaw ached with the strength of how he gritted his teeth. “It is no small wrong and certainly no sacrifice. I desire to marry you, Lizzy.”
She shook her head. “I have difficulty believing that, Mr. Darcy. Given your feelings on the matter are quite clear, I cannot imagine what has changed. I could never allow you to offer yourself up as the sacrificial lamb just to assuage guilt pangs for your honor. There is nothing to be concerned about, and things have worked out as they were meant to, I am sure.”
She moved closer, lowering her voice. “Just yesterday, my monthly course arrived, so there is no fear of a bastard to prompt such a display of gallantry. I bear no ill will and expect nothing more than our agreed-upon settlement once you have had your fill of me, sir.”
“Bollocks,” he said forcefully, earning a frown of reproof from her. “You are meant to be my wife, and I love you. You love me, and you have since before your father’s death. I freely admit I wronged you out of my own pride, but are you not doing the same to me now? Are you refusing to accept my offer to repair what I have done because you are too prideful, or perhaps because you have a misplaced need to protect my honor and my interests?”
Her mouth gaped open, but she did not have a chance to reply.
“I assure you,” He moved closer, taking her hand in his to pull her against him, and was gratified when she didn’t resist, “That would be misguided of you. I want to marry you, Lizzy. I am most disappointed you are not with child.
“You cannot be. That would be great folly.”
He lifted a shoulder. “Yet, I found it increasingly easy not to place any barriers between us, as though I wanted to impregnate you, my dear.”
Lizzy seemed shocked. “That is not true.” She seemed to be calculating as she spoke though, no doubt counting the number of times he had come inside her recently. Her eyes widened with shock.
He pressed on. “I wish to give you my name, to shield and look after you. I want you to be the mother of my children, and the Mistress of Pemberley. The true and legitimate mistress, not the heinous situation in which I thrust you with my sinful plan.”
Her expression softened slightly, and she curled her hand around his. He was gratified at the sign of reaction when she didn’t pull away. “You would be making a mistake, Mr. Darcy. I am a ruined woman, and it is obvious what kind of morals I mu
st have.”
Darcy couldn’t help a small laugh. “They are no more muddled than my own, my love. I suggested this scandalous proposition, and I left you little choice in deciding.”
Her frown deepened. “I entered into it of my own free will, as I said the day I agreed.”
He scoffed. “Perhaps, but more likely, you had few options, as we both well know. I wish to make up to you what I have done. Will you please accept my plea for marriage? I would spend the rest of my life making you happy as Mrs. Darcy.”
She hesitated for a moment. “I must admit I cannot stomach to be your mistress if you take a different Mrs. Darcy. That would have to be the end of us, no matter how great our passion.”
He nodded his agreement. “I would like to never do such a thing, but we both know Society will pressure me to eventually take a bride.”
She gave him a small smile. “It is an unquestioned fact that an unmarried wealthy man must be in want of a wife.” She grinned at him.
He grinned back. “In this case, it is quite true. I desire to have you as my wife. Only you, Elizabeth Bennet. Will you do me the honor?”
She no longer hesitated. Instead, she threw herself into his arms, and her enthusiastic kiss was probably answer enough, but he needed to hear the words. When they broke apart a moment later, mostly through him urging her backward when she would have deepened the embrace, he said, “Please accept. I need to know where I stand with you, Lizzy.”
“I only ask that you stand beside me for the rest of my life, Fitzwilliam. You are and shall be held in high regard and the receiver of even greater love. I would be honored to be your wife.”
With those words, he pulled her back into his arms and kissed her again, this time ravaging her mouth until they were both left breathless and gasping for air. Finally, they parted, but he could not bring himself to take his arm away from her waist as he pulled her against his side. “I should speak with your uncle, and then we will wed as soon as possible. Have you any objection to obtaining a special license? I should like to be wed before we return to Pemberley.”
