by Mia Pride
Because, she loved him. She hated to see his pain because she knew firsthand how it felt, and never wanted to make him feel the same way. She knew he loved her. Only, he loved another as well, and that would never be acceptable.
Amos leaned in and whispered in her ear, “Well. Now you know how he truly feels about you. I told you it would work.” He waggled his brows and her eyes grew wide.
“You… you planned that?”
“Aye, and nay. Aye I knew he was in your home with Duncan. I had hoped he would see it, if only to show you how he still feels about you. I told you, what you and Alastar have should not be wasted… but it was not entirely selfless. I have been wanting to taste your sweet lips for as long as I can remember. I do not regret a moment of it… even if you were thinking of him the entire time…”
She pouted her bottom lip. “What? I was not!” She blushed and averted her eyes, knowing the lie was written across her face.
He tilted his head and laughed. “Aye, you were. Listen, if you ever want to do that again, and much more, I am very willing, but I think you should consider your position with him before you go around kissing other lads.”
“I did not kiss you! You kissed me!” She wanted to slug him in his perfect face; he was making her so flustered.
“Does it really matter who kissed whom?” He shrugged and smiled down at her. “You are a very beautiful woman, Aislin. I would love to spend more time with you, truly. Think about it.” With a wink, he strode off with all the confidence of a stallion that had just impregnated a mare.
“Aislin, you have always been wild, but this is too much,” Duncan said with his hands flying in the air. “I have spent every day for the past fortnight with Alastar and all he did was speak of you. This truly was not a good thing for him to have witnessed.”
She grumbled under her breath. “Did Elwynna come and visit him often?” she inquired.
Duncan made a noise somewhere between a snort and a scoff. “Not once. And the only time he spoke of her, was when he was berating himself repeatedly for what you thought had happened between them.”
“Not you, as well, Dun,” she puffed out a breath. “He explained away his mistake the first time. But what of the second time? I walked in to find her basically on top of him while he told her she was beautiful and would make a wonderful wife. Am I supposed to continue to believe his stories and just hope he is telling the truth?”
Duncan wrinkled his nose. “I can see how that looked bad. He told me all about it.”
“And I suppose you believe his story?” She cocked a brow at him and crossed her arms.
“Aye. I do. He is so distressed, Lin. ‘Tis not my story to tell. Mayhap you need to talk to him about it.”
Aislin shook her head. “Nay. Tis done. I have made my mind up and will not waver. I listened to his excuses once. Then I found her with him alone a second time. Then I found out he made a wager with Àdhamh that he could marry me within one moon’s time! He won a dagger! Then he gave it to me, which is just humiliating. ‘Tis too much for me. He is not the only one hurting, Dun!” Her voice quivered with rising fury, but she was tired of everyone around her always siding with Alastar. She was not the one who made bad choices. She had taken a leap of faith, gone out of her comfort zone to change her entire life and stay with him. He had betrayed her three times.
She continued her tirade, knowing none of this was her young cousin's fault, but curse him for standing up for Alastar! “I have the man’s babe growing inside me! Do you think I am not suffering, as well? I loved him with all I had, despite my better judgment! Do you know how hard it was for me to open up to him? To allow him in? I was made a fool. But I will not be made a fool, again. It matters not if he loves me, for clearly love is not enough to keep him loyal.”
Pursing her lips, she breathed in deeply to calm herself. Her continuing angst must not be good for her child, and she had to remember to remain calm. It was just so hard when everyone around her, including Amos now, was trying to make her forgive Alastar. Mayhap she could forgive him. Mayhap she could sit down calmly with him, let him speak his piece, and move on with their lives amicably. Being together could not be an option. She had sworn once to never marry, and look what happened when she relented. It was partially her fault for believing the man she had once caught with his face buried deep into a serving lassie’s bosom could ever truly swear off lassies for the remainder of his days.
She could accept that now. She had erred in her judgment and would take responsibility for that. She had told him from the start she would leave, so perhaps asking him to be faithful was never fair. He had only been doing her a favor when he agreed to handfast with her. Love and relationships were new to her. Had it been a farce all along? Even when they spent late nights sharing stories of their past, and then sharing their bodies, whispering words of love? Had it been an illusion, or a trick of her mind? She had not believed so, but looking back, she certainly was not the only woman he had made love to while sharing his past. He had done that with Elwynna, and had still been able to walk away from her.
So why was he still pining for Aislin? Mayhap he wished to make it work between them for their child’s sake, but that was not a good enough reason for her. If she gave birth to a daughter, she needed to show the lass that women were strong creatures who did not need to lose themselves to men to be content. She could raise this child on her own. At least she could depend on herself. Depending on a man had proven foolish.
Aye, she would find time to go visit Alastar. Truthfully, it had been nice to see him faring well and she did miss him. She could stand to be in the same room with him long enough to discuss their situation, and how to move forward. They were both adults.
So why did the thought of being alone with Alastar again make her pulse race, and mouth dry? Her babe gave her a strong kick and she placed a hand on her womb. “Aye wee one. Mama will make this right with your papa,” she promised and, unlike this babe’s sire, Aislin always kept her promises.
Chapter Fifteen
Alastar paced back and forth in front of his hearth fire. He was getting stronger every day, and slowly training with the warriors to regain his strength, but his entire body was weighed down with despair. He had not seen Aislin since the last time he also saw Elwynna, until today. Seeing her with Amos had devastated him. He had still believed he could get her back… until today.
Duncan had been a great help to him these past sennights, helping him dress and eat when he was at his weakest. He was a young warrior, but he showed much promise and made good conversation. Growing up with his elder sisters Treasa, Alyson, and Leannan, Duncan was much more in tune to the mind of a female than Alastar was. Not to mention he and Aislin had been very close as children. He tried to warn Alastar that his cousin was unlike most lassies, that she had spent her childhood roaming the forests, discovering the land, learning to fight with a sword, and shoot with a bow. She was fiercely loyal to those worthy of her loyalty and fiercely stubborn to forgive those who crossed her.
Alastar was in the latter category. She had never allowed him to explain his last visit from Elwynna, though he did not blame her. How many times could he explain away what truly was an innocent situation, even when it looked anything but? He had not expected to see her with another man. He was not ready for that, and probably never would be. It had caused a fire to brew in his belly. She was his. He had promised to aggressively pursue her when he was well, and that time was now.
He had not changed his mind. Aislin was it for him and if she was stubborn, he would be more stubborn. Amos would not have her. He would fight until his last breath to prove his love and loyalty to her. She may no longer be his wife, but in his heart, she always would be. He needed to make Aislin listen, and if he had to carry her over his shoulder and tie her to his bed, he would do so.
A knock at his door stopped him in his nervous steps. “Enter,” he shouted as he paced the room without looking over his shoulder. He had had so many visitors as of la
te. Jeoffrey, Maggie, Duncan, Àdhamh. He knew they meant well, but he just wanted to be alone to contrive a plan to win Aislin back.
“Alastar?” Her soft voice made his spine go rigid. He knew Aislin’s voice anywhere, and as much as he wanted to see her, hold her, touch her, the image of her in Amos’s arms was still fresh in his mind, causing him torture.
He turned to look at her wearily. “Lin.” He did not know what else to say. She looked so beautiful in her long purple wool dress with red waves of hair floating freely about her face. The color of her eyes was enhanced by the purple of her dress and his heart stuttered in his chest. How he longed for her. The swelling of her abdomen had increased since he last saw her, and he could not hold himself back from feeling his child. Without permission, he stepped closer to her and placed a hand on her belly. She gasped slightly at his abrupt movement, but did not make a move to step away.
“Alastar,” she murmured softly and smiled.
“Aislin,” he replied warily. “Is all well?”
“Not really. I think we both know that.”
He shrugged and looked away, walking over to the fire to stare at the flames. He could not get the image of her kissing Amos out of his head, and it was driving him mad. “Why are you here, Lin?”
Silently she stepped forward and stared up to his height, placing a hand on his arm. He looked down at her and bore his gaze into hers. She came to say something. Why did he get the feeling it was not to confess her undying love and throw herself at him?
“You have healed well?” she finally asked, though he knew this was not what she preferred to speak of.
“Well enough.”
She nodded awkwardly and cleared her throat. “I came here to tell you that I want us to be friends. I do not wish for anger or grudges to pull us apart. We will have a child together and must get along.”
Her words, though not unexpected, made something snap inside. It had been almost a moon of this nonsense, and he was done with her stubborn desire to push him away. She did not want Amos. Aye, Amos was a strong warrior, and the lassies all followed in his wake, but he knew Aislin well enough to know that she did not prefer such men. She had pushed him away in the beginning for those very same reasons. And though her kiss with Amos haunted his every moment, he knew it meant nothing to her compared to what he and Aislin shared. She had looked stiff and awkward in Amos's arms, as if she was simply testing him out and finding him lacking. That was not the way she had kissed him, not from the very moment their lips met in the forest all those moons ago.
He would have her back. He would show her all they could be together, and remind her of how it had been before they allowed misunderstandings to tear them apart. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he spun her body against his quickly and pulled her so close, their lips almost touched. He could feel her breath quicken, its warmth fanning over his face. “I do not want to be your friend,” he growled, just before slanting his lips across hers without remorse. She would never kiss another man again, and he would make certain of that.
Her back stiffened, but only for a moment, before her body melded against his. His tongue wrapped around hers and he heard a small whimper escape her throat. Having her in his arms again felt like home, and he was determined to keep her there. Pulling away slightly, he tugged on her bottom lip with his teeth and whispered, “Did Amos kiss you like this, lass?” before moving down to her neck, nipping, licking, and teasing. She tilted her head to allow him better access and, feeling encouraged, he brought his hands down to cup her backside, pushing her against him deeper, making sure she felt his desire surging for her.
“I have missed your touch, Lin. Have you missed mine?” he asked as he ground his hips into hers. He needed to be careful. He wanted her so badly and worried he may lose himself in the moment, but her body ripe with his child was full of soft curves and a warmth he wanted to get lost in. “Answer me,” he demanded in her ear before nipping at her lobe.
She shuddered when his hot breath ran up her neck and began to move her own hips in tandem with his. “Aye,” she whispered. His mouth came back down to devour hers while he slowly walked her backward, toward his bed. When he reached his destination, and knew the backs of her legs had hit the mattress, he pushed her back, watching as her mass of red hair fanned across his furs.
Opening her eyes slowly, he saw his desire reflected back in their green depth, the urgent need to join their bodies. She licked her plump bottom lip and slowly slid her hands down to her thighs, gathering the fabric of her purple dress in her palms. He watched as slowly the cloth crept up her leg, exposing creamy flesh inch by torturous inch until it gathered at her thighs. Then she stopped and stared at him with a strange expression.
Was she second guessing herself? He would not allow that. This was happening. He wanted to see all of her, every beautiful inch and then he was going to worship her for the goddess she was, until she cried his name and forgot Amos, Elwynna, the wager, or anything else causing her doubt.
Grabbing the gathered fabric around her thighs, he yanked it over her stomach and was pleased when she arched her back, allowing him to easily slide it further up her body, and then over her head. Bundling the garment in his hands, he threw it hastily behind him, not caring where it landed. She would not be requiring her clothing for the rest of the night.
Hovering over her, his gaze trailed up and down her naked body, and his heart stuck in his throat. His child, growing strong in her belly, was now so obvious to his gaze once her heavy wool garment was not blocking his view. “By the gods, my Lin. How very beautiful you are.” He was going to kiss every sweet inch of her, brand her with his touch until she never wanted to leave him again.
Starting at her neck, he ran his tongue down to her shoulder, moving over to her breast. She groaned and arched when he slid the tip of his tongue across one tip of her breast to the other. They were engorged and sensitive to his touch more than usual, and her small panting breaths were driving him mad.
“Take off your clothes,” she said in a strained voice, her entire bare body quivering beneath his touch. His hand ran up the long column of her leg and settled between her thighs where she readily spread herself for him, clearly more than ready.
“You want me, Lin?” he whispered as his fingers grazed across her sensitive woman’s flesh. When her hips began to rock in rhythm with his fingers, he knew the answer… but he wanted more than this. He wanted to remind her of all they had been together, all they could still be.
Dropping to his knees, he slowly untied his trousers and allowed his erection to finally spring free, but he wasn’t ready quite yet. He longed to run his tongue over every part of her. Leaning in, he allowed his hot breath to fan over the sweet flesh between her legs and reveled in the guttural groans he was pulling from her. His tongue ran up her seam and she bucked beneath him, but he put his hands on her hips and forced her to take all he was giving. Her struggling ceased as she relaxed and melted into his bed, becoming completely pliable to every graze of his tongue. “Oh, gods, Alastar!” she murmured, jerking her head from side to side as she fisted his hair. He growled when she pulled hard, taking control. He loved that about her. She was a confident lover and knew what she wanted, and he would give her anything she needed in this moment.
“Now, Alastar, please!” she pled. He could continue to taste her all day, but he would lose control soon, and her begging was only making him throb painfully. Standing up quickly, he yanked his tunic over his head and buried himself deep within her without ceremony. He had missed her so much. Her laughter, the sweet floral scent of her hair, the way she felt when he was buried deep inside her… he was only whole when he was with Aislin, and he had not been whole for far too long.
Their lovemaking was not slow, sweet, or smooth. It was rough and unyielding, both racing to the end of their pleasure, needing more from this moment than they could ever say with words. The harder he thrust, the harder she pushed her hips toward him. He grabbed onto her breasts and she whimpe
red at the pain, but he did not stop and she did not ask him to. When he leaned in and bit her lower lip, she responded by sliding her tongue deep down into his mouth, mimicking their movements down below. This was savage, a primal lust that both needed quenched in the most basic way.
When he heard the small gasps and murmurs escaping her lips and felt her entire body go rigid, he pushed himself deeper, lifting her legs over his shoulders so he could reach the deepest parts of her and he roared when his release tore him apart. Sweat slicked their bodies from the warm summer air mixing with the heat of the hearth fire and the inferno their bodies created together.
He collapsed onto her, making sure not to crush their child, then slowly rolled to the side so he could stare at her flushed body, heaving with exertion and shimmering with perspiration. Red waves of hair sprawled across his bed and it hit him like a boulder over the head how very much he missed having her here with him every day. Yet she came back to him, allowed him to show his love in the most powerful of ways, and she had given back all she had. They could finally be a family. Since the day he found out he was to be a father, he had been living in an endless void of pain and despair with no other choice but to lie in bed and allow himself to heal.
His body had healed but his heart suffered terribly, until now. “Gods, Lin,” he panted and pushed a stray red lock away from her face, so he could better see her profile. “That was unexpected, yet amazing. I have missed that. I have missed us.”
