“Of course, you should go and catch up.” I looked at her, she seemed genuine, she smiled at me in sympathy. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” she murmured then she kissed Connor swiftly on the cheek, turned and walked away.
Robbie looked at me in defeat, whilst rubbing his jaw. “Sorry Elle.” He too walked away. Theo continued to glare after him before turning back to us.
That left the four of us in the middle of the campus, we had attracted a small crowd I realised. I cringed, so much for keeping my head down.
Connor clapped his hands together to get our attention. “Family meeting, right now.” With that he slung his arm round Theo’s shoulder and started to walk away. I looked after them as Theo chuckled at something Connor said.
How had this become my day?
Matt tugged me after him as he went to follow Connor and Theo, I had classes to get to. I couldn’t do this, I wanted to tear out of Matt’s grip and run in the other direction. Connor glanced over his shoulder at me and smiled. A proper genuine Connor Dawson smile, I felt something loosen in my chest, maybe this would be ok.
“Come on Ari, we’ll get a coffee and we can talk,” he offered gently. I looked at Matt, nodded and we followed them.
We settled into a back corner of the coffee shop, where ironically, I had first met Robbie. Now Robbie was one of the reasons we were all together.
“So?” Connor started. “Want to tell me what’s been happening?” His voice was low and he took my hand loosely. I looked up at him slowly, there was nothing but concern and love there, not the possessive domineering Connor that had been present the last few times I had seen him. Once again, I quickly outlined the last eight months.
When I retold what happened to my dad, Connor gripped my hand as he shed his own tears at my dad’s passing.
I picked up my now cold coffee and took a drink. I met his gaze and he quickly wiped a tear from my face.
“You should have called us, we would have been there. You shouldn’t have done this alone. You needed us and you should have called.” His words were low but I could tell he was slightly mad at me, much like Matt and Theo had been. No. They weren’t mad at me, they were mad at the choice I had made to exclude them and if I was honest, I had needed them.
“I couldn’t call, not after...” I started but trailed off, I cowardly looked out of the window not meeting anyone’s eyes.
“Not after I found you making out with my brother at your mother’s funeral you mean?” Connor said.
I swivelled to look at him. “Jesus Con, just shout it out eh!” I whispered furiously.
He threw his head back and laughed. “C’mon Ari, you need to lighten up. It’s done, Cole and I are fine, it’s over with, move on.” He shrugged.
Worthless little tramp.
“You’re not mad at me?” I was hesitant to look at him as I recalled her words.
Connor looked at me and his smile was gentle, he looked at both Matt and Theo quickly and shrugged again. “I was furious at the time, I couldn’t believe it, thought you and Cole had been sneaking behind my back. I mean c’mon, you two looked pretty serious when I walked in. I couldn’t believe that was the first time it had happened. Plus, the thing with that bitch, your mother, all you had wanted was Cole beside you. Cole or Matt. When I saw you guys on the bed, you half undressed and added to how super protective Cole was of you, I flipped.”
“They were actually on the bed?” Theo whispered to Matt, I saw Matt grimace and give a half-hearted acknowledgment.
Theo looked at me and whistled under his breath. I narrowed my eyes at him. He winked. I felt myself turn scarlet.
Connor laughed again.
“Its fine, Ari. It’s in the past, we move on. I just wish you would have called us, we would have been there for you.”
I just stared at Connor, this wasn’t the Connor I knew, or the Connor he had been a year ago. Hell, this wasn’t even the Connor that had been outside fifteen minutes ago. I took another sip of my coffee. Jesus, it really was cold. There’s a huge difference between iced coffee and coffee gone cold and not because it is missing ice. I pushed the cup away sighing.
“What now?” I asked.
Looking at all three of them. Two blonde and one dark. All gorgeous, all staring back at me. There was also a huge presence missing at the table even though the boys were squeezed around the table.
“Does Cole know?” Connor asked. He was acting so casual but his hand tightened on his mug, no one else would notice but we knew him and Matt tensed slightly.
“No.” Matt said. “We only found her a week past – she didn’t want to be a problem for you.” I seriously loved this man, he was the brother I never had.
Connor relaxed, he grinned at me. “Wouldn’t have appreciated being the last to know, every time,” he joked.
A startled laugh burst out of me. “It’s not like that.” I said as I reached for his hand even though I had no right to do that, not really. His fingers curled around mine, I started to withdraw my hand, it was habit to reach out to him but I shouldn’t be. More importantly I didn’t want it to be. He tugged them slightly before letting go, almost acknowledging my internal thoughts.
“Right, well, I need to go find Corey, explain the whole “she’s my ex and means nothing to me” scenario.” Connor stood up from the table.
That hurt just a little, but I quickly brushed the thought away, I had no right for that to hurt. I stood too, brushing my top down to straighten it. I was in his arms in a moment, Connor crushed me to him and I admit, I needed it. I needed this hug, this hug from this man who had once meant so much. He didn’t let me go for a while and I was quite happy with my head on his chest. He pulled back and grinned at me, with those twinkling mischievous eyes. I grinned back at him.
“Love you Ari, I’m so sorry about your dad.” Another tight squeeze. “See you around.” He said as he left.
I looked at Matt and Theo, they were grinning. “Well that went well,” I said. I wasn’t sure I was questioning this or not.
Matt laughed and Theo ruffled my hair. We left the coffee shop, the boys discussing whether the rest of classes today were a write off or not. I trailed behind them wondering if this was a dream. Was Connor really ok? Did he mean it hadn’t bothered him, they were brothers after all? It made sense this wouldn’t have come between them, wait he said he loved me, did that mean like Matt and Theo did...would it be so easy with Colton? I pulled myself away from that thought. What had happened between me and Colton had changed our relationship that was for sure. I don’t think it would ever be easy with us, not now. Well it definitely wouldn’t be for me.
“Lil Bit!” Matt was looking at me. Theo was laughing. I had spaced out again. Ugh I was useless. I didn’t deserve friends.
“Yeah?” I hurried to catch up to them. When I was alongside them, Theo slung his arm around my shoulder and hugged me to his side. I rested my head against him for just a moment, but it centred me.
“We’re going to go find a party.” Matt said. Theo fist bumped the air. I rolled my eyes. Of course, they were. “What are you going to do?” Matt asked, he took my bookbag and slung it over his shoulder.
“Go to class, I have another two this afternoon. That’s why I am here after all.” Ok maybe I was being a bit snippy? How could they be going to a party it was barely two in the afternoon.
“Awww don’t be a mean girl!” Theo joked. He pouted, his puppy dog eyes mocking me, then before I could react, I was over his shoulder. “Come with us and have fun. You look like a vampire you’re so white.”
“Theo for goodness sake, put me down!” I exclaimed.
“Nah, I can walk quicker to the fun with you over my shoulder, your little legs hold me up.” He slapped my butt as he marched along with me. I heard a few calls out to them, someone mentioned Theo not being able to wait. I was mortified. Matt walked along beside us, doing nothing to stop my predicament.
“Theo, I swear, I’ll pull your hair.” I grumbled. Matt laughed,
he told Theo to drop me. So, Theo being exactly a man of direction dropped me. Thankfully he also caught me as I stumbled. He was grinning though. If I could reach, I would seriously slap him.
“I’m going to class; you guys know I can’t go with you.” I added lamely.
“He’s not here, Jake called him last night, he left in the middle of the night.” Matt said.
“That’s why Connor waited for me today? He knew Colton was gone?” I confirmed. It made sense really, it was easier to keep things like going for coffee with the guys simple, when the guy wasn’t there to find out.
“Guess so. He didn’t say why he was going, just that he needed to go and would be back later.” Theo stood there rolling on the balls of his feet. He was restless, he obviously didn’t like Cole going in the middle of the night and when I looked at Matt, I saw the same unease there. Matt shrugged and turned away.
“Does this happen often?” I asked quietly. What would his father need him for in the middle of the night? I didn’t know what business his father did, I had wondered on occasion over the years if it was strictly legal but had never dared ask. Calling for your son in the middle of the night didn’t seem something like an above-board businessman needed to do, did it?
Theo said nothing, but he looked at Matt for direction. Matt exchanged a look with Theo and then smiled at me.
“Nothing you need to concern yourself with Lil Bit. Now let’s talk party.” They started off again.
“I’m going to class guys.” I called after them. Theo turned around, Matt halted, eyebrow raised. “Some of us need to learn!” I laughed at them. Both grinned and came back, two hugs later and they were off. Before I even had the chance to shout, Matt jogged back, another quick hug, bookbag returned, a hair ruffle and he was gone.
I turned to head back to the coffee shop, I needed so much caffeine. My head was a whirlwind of a mess. I needed to process.
It was a few days before I found Connor outside one of my classes again. Despite how we had left things – which had seemed positive – I was still a little apprehensive.
“Hey gorgeous.” He greeted me. His smile was huge and genuine and I was smiling back despite being a little uncomfortable about the greeting. It was how he always greeted me and I wasn’t sure it was still appropriate.
“Hi there. Everything ok?” I asked, Connor started walking and I had no choice but to walk along beside him.
“Yeah, you got another class?” He asked looking down at me.
He was wearing a black t-shirt and dark jeans. I took the opportunity to really look at him. He had definitely filled out. Added some muscle to his formerly lean build. His hair was slightly longer and styled in a messy casual style. It suited him.
I shook my head, that had been my last one for the day, well week really, it was Friday. “Do you still run?” I asked.
“Yeah but not here, I don’t have the discipline to keep at it in college. It was fun in high school, but I’m not the dedicated athlete anymore. Plus, I wouldn’t be allowed to party as much.” He winked at me as he said the last bit. “I just run for fun now.”
I shivered, run for fun didn’t sound like fun to me at all.
I laughed at my internal thoughts and Connor’s cheeky wink. He knew exactly what my reaction was, it was so easy and natural with Connor. Like the old days before it all went weird and scary.
“I wanted to talk to you.” He started, I didn’t tell him I gathered that as he was waiting outside my class, a class I had no idea how he knew I was in by the way. How had he gotten my class schedule? Hang on, that was easy, he was a Dawson, he would have charmed it out of someone. I felt myself rolling my eyes and Connor must have seen me as he gave a short laugh.
“Yes, I know, I was outside your class. You guessed this. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you, about Cole and...also about Corey.” He thrust his hands in his pocket, this was Connor’s, I’m uncomfortable tell.
“Where do you want to talk?” I asked quietly. I stopped and looked up at him.
“Your place? Theo said you live off campus. Cole’s back, I don’t want to run into him before I get through this.” He was looking about the halls, not for Colton I knew that. He was unsure of my response, so he was nervous.
Did I want Connor to know where I lived, that was silly, he would never abuse that trust. Although he may tell Colton and I definitely didn’t want to open the door to him anytime soon. The others had been so gracious and forgiving, but Colton Dawson was steel and he would not let me off with a hug and an assurance they were there for me. He would be furious I had left. Furious I had never called and furious I knew he was here and so did his friends. I couldn’t even begin to think of the reaction when he found out the guys had been to my home and if one of them was Connor…I don’t know if I could be responsible for that fallout.
“I won’t tell him.” Connor said. Yeah, still knew me very well.
“Promise? I can’t be the reason you fall out, not again.” I looked at my sneakers. Connor’s finger under my chin, raised my face to look at him.
“Promise Lil Bit.” He looked so earnest, so, Connor. How could I say no to him? He deserved me to hear him out after all. I had done a horrid thing and then I had run away, like a coward.
“C’mon then, it’s about a fifty-minute walk.” Connor nodded and followed me outside, but he steered me to the parking lot behind my building. I looked at the big shiny Toyota 4Runner, they were the SUV of choice for the boys. Of course, I thought ruefully, Connor would be able to find a space in a city that prided itself on its bus system and greener travel.
We drove in silence, it took only minutes and to be honest if I was more green aware, I would have said no, however, I was a bundle of nerves. I was sitting in the car with my ex who had caught me making out with his brother at my mother’s funeral, who I had run away from, not seen in almost a year and was now driving to my home to talk the talk and discuss his new...girlfriend? Yeah, sorry ozone, I’m so not thinking about you overly much at the moment.
We parked up not far from my apartment. I overlooked an open space square, so parking was limited. I had a designated space round the back of my building, but I liked to walk in to the campus in the morning. My car was sitting round the back in the shade. My flat was above a small hardware shop, the stairs to the apartment were off the square and set back down a small alleyway, not creepy or anything, but I saw Connor assess it as we walked down. I made a mental note to be ready to defend my living accommodation if needed.
Once we were inside and he was settled on my small couch, I offered refreshments, he declined. It had become all very tense.
Connor must have thought so too as he suddenly laughed. “Jesus Ari, this is us. We shouldn’t be awkward, stop hovering, sit down, let’s talk like we used to.”
I smiled, easier said than done really, but I sat in the seat and tried very hard to relax.
“Right, so I’m going to talk. I’m just going to lay it out and then we can discuss later?” Connor started. I nodded. Someone had come prepared with a plan.
“I know, the whole situation with you and Colton isn’t ideal. Cole explained it all and I guess I can understand why you did what you did. I mean, I was out of control possessive or whatever, and I scared you and then that stupid bitch killed herself.” He groaned. “I mean seriously, you were going through a lot.” He raked his hand threw his hair and I waited for him to continue. “Yeah, you were leaning on Cole more, needing his support because of what I had done, and I get that. Your emotions were all over the place, you were probably in some form of grieving and stressed out. It makes sense you made a move on Cole.”
I’d been nodding along with him. Yeah, I guess he was maybe right. Wait, what? My eyes snapped to Connor. He reached out and squeezed my hand in sympathy. What did he say?
Connor continued on, oblivious to the fact I had just frozen.
“It’s ok, I know you. You wouldn’t have done it if you weren’t out of your mind, its ok, and Cole well c�
��mon Ari, he’s a guy. Someone like you makes a move on him and of course he is going to go with it. Wasn’t thinking with the head on his shoulders if you know what I mean?”
Right, that’s enough. I was up out of my seat in no time. Connor sat back, he looked surprised.
“Back up one moment Con. What are you saying? I jumped Cole?” I think I may have shrieked. I’d never shrieked before, so it was hard to comment, but if the high-pitched squawk I had just uttered could be described as a shriek? Then yeah, I shrieked.
Connor nodded. “You don’t need to be embarrassed. You were upset, Cole’s a really good-looking guy, it makes sense and if you were in need...” he trailed off. I think he had realised maybe there was something wrong. Wait, was it my pacing that gave it away! Ugh.
“You said Colton explained this to you? This is what he said? That I jumped him?” I don’t think I have ever been this angry. This was how he explained it to his brother? Not that he had kissed me, not that he had initiated what happened. No. He said it was me, it was all me. Not that he had me pinned against a wall whilst he devoured me...ok I didn’t need these memories right now. God am I blushing? I need to cool down right now. Wait is Connor still talking, crap what is he saying, need to tune in Elle!
“Well when I finally let him talk to me that is.” Connor grumbled. “Was a few days after, I didn’t even know you were gone to be honest. I was out of the house and at the cabin before dad came and got me. Colton was miserable. Dad explained it, said Cole told him and when I came home. Dad made me sit down and told Colton to tell me himself.” Connor stood. “Is that not what happened Ari?” His look was sharp, assessing. Crap he looks just like his brother when he looks like that, when did he learn that trick, I wonder?
I turned away. I couldn’t face him. I couldn’t let him see me. His father explained it to him. His father told Colton to tell his brother what had happened between a girl who had ran away and a man who was the idol of his little brother. Of course, that’s what Jake Dawson would say. Of course, he would blame me. It was the easiest and most obvious answer. Jake Dawson is a dick. There I said it.
Indian Summer Page 9
