by N. P. Martin
As I stared silently back at him, I knew there would be no getting through to him, and no talking him out of doing what he believed he was destined to do. When he suddenly grabbed me and yanked me forward, I knew he was done with me, at least for now, and as if to prove it, he dragged me over to the edge of the pit. "What are you doing?" I asked fearfully as I stared down into that dark green abyss with its sinister, swirling energy.
"The next time we meet will be at the Final Battle," he said. "Then I will crush you. In the meantime, why don’t pie take the long way home…"
"No, Erebus, don’t—"
"Until we meet again," he said, just before shoving me into the green abyss.
Chapter 13
I landed in the dry sand from a height that I didn’t even want to think about. One minute I was cast adrift in a sea of inter- dimensional horrors, the next I was falling from the sky with the ground rushing up to meet me. When I thudded down onto the sand, consciousness left me for a few moments, as though my mind needed to shut down before it fell apart completely in the face of the unimaginable horrors it had just been forced to witness. No human mind should ever have to see what I saw in Apep’s world. How my own mind hadn’t turned instantly to mush upon witnessing the ungodly sights within that cursed dimension, I’ll never know. Things existed there—beings of indescribable horror; multi-faced monstrosities that made me scream in terror as soon as I laid eyes on them—things that screamed back at me in a voice that my ears could hardly comprehend. It felt like I’d spent weeks just hurtling through that world of darkness, dragged along by some unseen energy as I was forced to look upon the terrible, nightmarish forms of the appalling beings who populated that ghastly place, until finally, just as I was wishing every minute for death, I came upon the face of Apep himself. My near lifeless body was suspended in the dark, an unknowable energy that powered the whole alien dimension holding me like a helpless fly caught in thick treacle as the gigantic, wholly monstrous form of Apep rose into view before me; a mountainous form that was so mind-shatteringly horrific, I couldn’t bare to look at it. But even as I shut my eyes, I could still see Apep’s monstrous, tentacled face before me as he seemed to hover in space, swaying ever so slowly like a great underwater behemoth. His appearance was bad enough, but when he deigned to speak, that was even more mind-crushing. That booming voice—almost unlistenable in its harsh, bubbling tones—soon reached my ears as words that I could somehow understand, words that said, "My son will kill you…and then you are mine…" As indescribable sonic madness assaulted my ears, I soon heard it as deathly cold laughter, a laughter which continued to echo relentlessly in my ears even as I screamed and screamed…
And now here I was, a quivering wreck as I lay groaning and drooling in the desert sand, my mind feeling like it had been shattered into a thousand pieces and then reassembled in some horrifically random way that all but ensured I would remain insane for the rest of my life, knowing only of the horrors which lay in wait for me when I finally died at the hands of Erebus…
I lay in the soft desert sand for what seemed like a very long time; long enough for the day to shift into night as the sun disappeared, gradually and then suddenly swallowed up by the darkness, replaced by a blanket of shining stars that reminded me all too much of the horror that lay out there in space, contained within dimensions that were practically just next door to this one. As I stared up at the night sky—drifting in and out of consciousness—all I could think was how small and insignificant I was, and not just me, but the whole human race. We think of ourselves as giants, as titans of the universe, but really, we don’t even know the meaning of those words. Perhaps if we did, we wouldn’t be so fucking arrogant all of the time, so assured of our divine right to be here, when really, divinity had nothing to do with it. We’re just an insignificant life-form in a universe that holds far greater life-forms than us.
It wasn’t until I became aware of something staring at me that my mind finally emerged from its hidey-hole like a wary, mental scarred animal. My eyes began to focus themselves in the darkness, and I raised my head slightly to see a small lizard sitting on my chest, its eyes seeming to stare right at me as it sat there almost comically, all but goading me to get up. When the lizard saw I was awake and seemingly semi-functional again, it turned around and scurried off me, running off into the night to go and hunt insects or whatever it is lizards do in the desert.
Groaning as I sat up, I looked briefly at my surroundings, seeing only sand in the pitch darkness. My mouth was dry and my throat parched, but despite this, I thought about wanting a cigarette before any water, though I soon realized I could have neither, because I no longer had my backpack, which was still probably far underground in Erebus’ lair. Managing to stand up at last, I stretched my body a little as my mind began to right itself and gain some clarity at last, in spite of the memories of the horrors I saw, which still flashed obscenely within my mind. First things first, I thought. I need to get the hell out of this desert.
Predictably though, when I tried to use my magic to open a portal, nothing much happened. A vague outline appeared in the darkness, but that was it. No portal appeared within it, which told me that I must still be in the vicinity of the nameless city. In order for my magic to start working again, I would have to navigate away from the place, and given that I had no idea of how big the nameless city was since it all lay underground, it followed that I didn’t how long I would have to walk before reaching a place where my magic wasn’t blocked anymore by the energy still contained within the nameless city’s walls.
So I started walking, hardly caring which direction I was heading in as long as I made it out of the vicinity of the nameless city. The cold night air had well and truly seeped into my bones by this point, which made walking an uncomfortable experience, especially since it also felt like the sand was trying to suck me down with every step. But I trudged on nonetheless, doing my best to ignore the cold, thinking that I would soon be out of this damnable desert for good. As I walked, I would occasionally pass by remnants of the nameless city that jutted out of the sand in places like dark omens. I could hardly look at these partially obscured stone structures, for they reminded me too much of the great structures that existed in Apep’s world. A few times I had to stop and squeeze my eyes shut as I became overwhelmed with flashbacks. My hands would grip my head as I almost tried to squeeze the memories out of my skull. So as not to drop to the sand a quivering wreck again, I would think of other things, like Amelia’s face and how warm her body was when I touched her; or Dalia, and how connected to her I felt when I was around her. I even thought about Monty, and his goofy behavior that often brought a smile to my face. When thinking of people I cared about stopped working and Apep’s face would rear up in my mind again, I started to think of playing the guitar, something I hadn’t done in a while. Forcing myself to keep walking, my body shivering in the cold, I pictured in my mind’s eye an image of myself playing the guitar, and I would focus on that, making sure I hit every imaginary note for each song that I ran through. Eventually, I even started singing as I tried to counter the misery of seeing another uncovered piece of the nameless city, which was always a stark reminder that I hadn’t walked far enough yet.
I kept up this self-distraction for I don’t know how long. By the time dawn broke, I was still walking, still sensing the nameless city far beneath my feet, though not Erebus, nor any of his otherworldly sentinels. I had a feeling that Erebus would be brooding in his lair, trying to regain his singular focus after I had disrupted it. Fuck him, I thought bitterly. He’s no better than a fucking sheep, mindlessly following the shepherds that surround him.
Still, there was no denying his power, or his will to wrought the ultimate destruction. Sheep or not, he was a danger, and had to be stopped. "Of course," I shouted out loud, somewhat deliriously as I plowed through the sand, "if someone would fucking come down from his ivory tower at some point and give me some fucking guidance, that would be great. And yes, I’m sp
eaking to you, Cernunnos." I stopped and stared up into the sky as if the Lord of the Wild Things would appear at any moment. "I’m supposed to be your son. The absent father routine is getting a little old now, and in case you didn’t know, the world is on the brink of destruction, so…" I sighed and shook my head, before muttering, "Fuck you then…"
Just up ahead was a large boulder, which I walked to and went and sat on, glad of the opportunity to rest my aching legs. I had only been sitting for less than a minute, however, before I felt a sharp pain in my right ankle. Crying out, I flew off the boulder and looked down at my feet to see a huge scorpion go scurrying under the rock. "You fucking bastard!" I screamed at the disappearing creature. "Why?!"
Checking my ankle, I saw it was already red and swollen. Pain was also setting in quickly, centered mostly around the site of the sting, but beginning to travel up my leg somewhat. I had never been bit by a scorpion before, so I had no idea how bad things would get, or just how deadly this particular scorpion sting was. "I swear, if I fucking die out here…" I shook my head. "I’m not going to die…I can’t die…I’m a demigod! Fuck you scorpion! You didn’t know that before you stung me, did you?"
As if to prove my resilience, I started walking again, and for a short while I managed to do so without feeling much of any pain in my ankle. But almost inevitably, things started to get worse, with the pain slowly spreading up my right leg, to the point where it hurt just to move it. When I stopped and checked the site of the sting, I winced when I saw how much my ankle had swollen up, and how red my skin seemed, which stung like a bitch, by the way. I chose to ignore my condition at first, resuming my walking again as I passed by another exposed remnant of the nameless city, which was gut-wrenching, because it meant I still hadn’t walked far enough yet. In fact, I was beginning to think that it would take me days or even weeks to walk far enough, and the thought of being stuck in this desert wasteland for that long was excruciating. "Where is a fucking camel when you need one?"
Eventually, I couldn’t walk any longer as the pain in my leg was so great. I was also badly dehydrated, and weak as a kitten because of it. Physically and mentally depleted, I lay back onto the sand and closed my eyes. "I’m going to die out here in this fucking desert," I half-whispered. "So much for…" I trailed off as unconsciousness took me in its sweet embrace.
Chapter 14
When I awoke, I did so to find that I was lying on grass, the sweet smell of which hit my nostrils as I opened my eyes. The grass felt cool on my skin, and I lay there for a moment, not even caring why there was grass and not sand under me. It wasn’t until I finally sat up and realized that I was surrounded by massive, thick-trunked trees did I begin to wonder just where the hell I was. Then the pain hit in my ankle and I suddenly remembered what had happened. The scorpion sting had caused me to black out. But why was I now in a forest? Was this some sort of fever dream, or a mirage of some kind? Was this all my imagination, and would the barren desert landscape come rushing back into my vision at any second? I sat tensely waiting for precisely that to happen, but it never did. The forest landscape remained, the bird song and chitter of nearby small animals telling me that my new surroundings were going nowhere. "How the hell?" I said as I wondered how I could have ended up in such a place, a place were the sun pleasantly streamed through the dense canopy of the trees; trees which seemed ancient in their appearance, the trunks thick and twisted with age. Somewhere nearby, I heard the rush of water, as though a river or waterfall was close. Everything seemed familiar, yet strangely out of time. Was I even still on Earth? I began to wonder as I stood up, wincing at the pain still in my swollen ankle. Is this Erebus’s doing? Has he banished me to some other realm to keep me out of the way?
No, this wasn’t Erebus. If he wanted me gone, he would’ve just let me die in the desert, or if he did banish me somewhere, it would’ve been somewhere a lot less pleasant and picturesque than this place. There was strong magic here, and not the dark variety, but a type of lighter magic that seemed strange and familiar at the same time, as if it had always been a part of me and I just hadn’t felt it until now. Almost as a test, I cast a healing spell on my horribly swollen ankle, and was surprised when light emanated from my hand and bathed the swollen tissues of my leg, instantly relieving it of pain as it reduced the swelling and returned my skin to its normal color. In less than a minute, it was as if I’d never been bitten at all. "Goddamn…" I said approvingly, a slight smile on my face as I marveled at the potency of the magic.
It was then that I realized what was going on here. There could only be one explanation, and that was that Cernunnos must’ve heard my call, my plea for assistance. Whatever magical realm I was now in, it had to belong to him. But if that was the case, where the hell was he?
I stood looking around for a moment, marveling at the abundance of life in this lushly green environment. Everywhere I looked, I saw various kinds of plants, fungi, shrubbery and trees growing, some of which I didn’t even recognize, as if they only belonged to this realm alone. It was like Earth, but a lusher, richer version of it, like maybe how Earth would’ve been before man came along and started to shape the environment to his liking. This was nature, but nature at its most unspoiled, and its most magical.
But where was the man in charge? And why would he bring me here and not be around when I woke up?
"Hello?" I called out, a note of apprehension in my voice. "Cernunnos?"
I stood in silence for another moment, half-expecting some sort of reply, but none came. Then a noise behind me made me turn around, and I noticed a stag standing next to a massive oak tree in the distance. The stag was bigger than any stag I had ever seen, standing maybe the height of a cart horse, and just as thickly muscled, sporting giant antlers that gleamed almost golden in the sunlight beaming down upon them. As I made eye contact with the magnificent looking beast, my heart began to race faster, for I knew immediately that I was looking at Cernunnos in one of his animal forms. The stag’s eyes were so full of knowing, they might as well have been human. For the longest time, the stag and I stared at each other, an undoubted connection passing between us; a connection that filled my body with a warmth I hadn’t felt since I last embraced my mother when she was alive. The connection didn’t last long, however, for the stag soon moved off into the woods, to my dismay disappearing altogether when I tried to follow it. "Seriously?" I said as I looked around, wondering how such a giant animal could just disappear like that, until I remembered that Cernunnos was a god and could probably do whatever the hell he wanted here.
I wandered around the forest for a bit, hoping to come across the stag again, but it had vanished. Around me, it felt like the birds and small forest animals were watching me with interest, as if they knew who I was and were waiting to see what I would do next. Which turned out to be not very much as I continued to walk around, soaking up the serene atmosphere of the forest after having endured the desert wasteland for what seemed like weeks, but which was actually only two days. When I came to a babbling brook, I dropped down to my knees and used my hands to scoop up the crystal clear water into my mouth, intensely grateful to have my raging thirst quenched at last. The water was the most refreshing I’d ever tasted, and after I had sated my thirst, I proceeded to splash the water around my face and neck, enjoying the coolness of it on my skin.
It was as I stood up to wipe the water from my face that I became aware of a buzzing noise in the background that got progressively louder the closer it got to me. Looking around, I soon saw a large swarm of bees make its way through the trees, coming to rest over the brook just in front of me. The gentle movements and almost hypnotic buzz of the bees was not threatening, and indeed the swarm soon began to speak to me in a whispering voice that seemed to come from all directions at once. "Follow us…" the bees said.
"Where?" I asked after a moment, wondering now if I was talking to Cernunnos in another form, though I didn’t think I was. The bees were their own entity, though they were clearly doing th
e bidding of another power, most likely the big man himself.
"To your destiny," the bees whispered, their collective voices like a soft caress, and soothing to my ears.
"Well," I said smiling. "Since you put it like that, how can I refuse?"
The bees buzzed loudly as if in acknowledgment, and then began to move back through the trees again as I followed them for a good ten minutes, entranced by their gentle buzzing and the calm background noises of the forest itself. I’ve always loved forest environments, loved the peace and tranquility they provided, and the easy connection they offered to the Great Mother. In this forests of forests, I felt that connection even more keenly, as though the bees I was following were manifestations of the Great Mother herself. I’d only been here for less than half an hour and already I never wanted to leave. All of my previous problems seemed now to pale in significance when up against the majesty of the forest and the great spiritual and magical forces contained within it. This was the very antithesis of Apep’s dark and ghastly world, a place of unending life and abundance; a place were the soul could be at rest for eternity, here amongst the sublime creations of Nature, of the Great Mother.
I was still contemplating all of this when the bees stopped and hovered over the mouth of a cave that was set into a grass covered slope. "Enter the cave," the bees said in unison, hundreds of whispering voices entering my ears.
As I stared at the cave and the bees, it all felt highly significant, as though I were taking part in some ancient ritual, which made me loath to question what was happening, but I did anyway. "What for? What’s in there?"
