by Katie Knight
“Got it.” He finished typing that in the looked up, finding that Lila had set her tea aside and scooted closer as they’d talked. “Okay. What about the whole potty situation?”
She raised her brows. “What about it?”
“Well, is he toilet trained or in diapers? How does that work?”
“He uses the toilet.” Lila laughed at his sigh of relief. “But he still wears pull-ups because accidents happen sometimes, especially when he’s playing outside and doesn’t want to come in. So, just keep an eye on him if you take him out. You can tell when he’s got to go because he does this little dance thing. Kind of a quick shuffle, then a side to side, and a shiver.”
“Great.” Preston put his phone down. “You just described my entire dance repertoire for parties and bars.”
Lila cracked up and eventually so did Preston. Even though it was true, it was still funny as hell. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed so hard or so long and man, it felt great. By the time they calmed down, Lila had tears running down her cheeks and Preston’s sides hurt. They were both flopped back into the cushions, close enough that her leg and arm rested against his.
“Wow. I missed that,” she said, staring up at the ceiling.
“Me too.” He rolled his head to the side to look at her. “I missed you.”
Her expression shifted from wry to wistful in seconds. She reached over and laid her hand on his thigh. “Aw, Preston. I missed you too.”
He wasn’t sure exactly which of them made the first move, but next thing Preston knew he was kissing her. Soft and sweet and slow, just like he remembered. Then she shifted slightly toward him and he slipped his hand through her hair to cradle the back of her head and pull her closer. She moaned low and parted her lips and he deepened the kiss, stroking her tongue with his. She tasted like tea and strawberries from her dessert at the restaurant and he’d never wanted anyone more in his life.
Lila. My Lila. Back in my life, back in my arms.
Even if only for a little while.
Then she pulled away, her breath panting along with his, and rested her forehead against his. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this. Not here. Not yet.”
“Not with me,” he whispered, hating the words even as he knew they were true. “I’m sorry.”
“No.” She straightened and ran her hand down the front of her shirt. “It’s not that. It’s just…” She exhaled slow and pushed back into her corner of the sofa again, increasing the distance between them. “I have to think about Parker now.”
“What about me?” Preston asked, running a shaky hand through his hair and fighting to get his raging pulse back under control. “He’s my son, too.”
“Yes, but you just met him—and you could be gone again at any moment. You never know where you’ll be from one day to the next, Preston. You live in constant danger. Is Parker supposed to wait at home, always wondering if you’ll make it back from the next mission? You don’t want that for your son, do you? All that uncertainty?” She shook her head and stared down at her hands in her lap. “I know I don’t. Look, I’m sorry. I know you love your career and the work you do is important to the world, but we need someone who will be here for us, no matter what. I’m just not sure that’s you at the moment, Preston. I mean, you’re still taking notes on your phone on how to be a dad. Are you even ready to give up your life, your work, everything, to be a father to Parker?”
“Dammit.” Preston pushed to his feet, still too wired from their kiss to think clearly. “I don’t know. I want to be a part of his life, though. In whatever way I can, for as long as I can.” Silence descended as he strode to the kitchen and got a drink of water, hoping for some clarity and getting none. He could feel her watching him, waiting. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Have you thought about leaving the military?” she asked, her tone quiet.
“No. I can’t. Not until this mission is done and I’ve found the person who put my team in danger—who caused my friend’s death.” He turned and leaned his hips back against the counter. “I gave up too much to accomplish that goal and I promised my CO to see it through, so…” Frustrated, he scrubbed his hands over his face, then pushed away from the counter. “I should go.”
“Yeah,” she said, making no move to get up from the sofa. “See you tomorrow then.”
“I’ll be here. Be sure to lock the door behind me.” He pulled on his coat and let himself out the front door, grateful for the slap of chill against his cheeks as he walked out to climb into his truck. Considering he was just going next door, it seemed stupid to drive, but he didn’t want to leave the rental truck out on the road all night. Once he started the engine and backed up to his driveway, it was only a minute or two before he shut it all down again and climbed back out and locked up before heading up to his own cabin.
Preston stood there by his door, in the dark, staring across the distance between his and Lila’s place, the soft, warm glow from her windows so different from the cold darkness in his, and checked his message once more. Still no word from his CO.
Damn.
He could really use some guidance right now, even if it was just a text from James.
Fourteen
Preston was up before dawn the next morning, going over the notes he’d taken the day before at Lila’s. He showered and dressed and checked his messages and emails then made sure he was well caffeinated and alert before setting out for Lila’s cabin.
Sleep had pretty much eluded him. When he had managed to drift off well after midnight, his dreams had been filled with the ill-advised kiss with Lila followed by visions of her shocked face as the ice had broken beneath her. He was no psychologist, but he had a pretty good idea what that meant—he was worried that if he got involved with her again, wormed his way back into her and Parker’s lives any more than he already had, he’d only fail them again.
Not exactly the confidence-booster he needed going into today, but he’d promised Lila a day to herself and she deserved it, so he was going. He was a SEAL, dammit. They always got the job done. He could handle this—it wasn’t even a full day. Parker was bound to need to sleep for at least part of it, right? He’d forgotten to ask Lila about naps, but figured if he took the kid out to play and kept him busy enough, eventually he'd conk out.
He knocked on her door a little after seven and did a cursory check of the porch again. No signs of another break in, so that was good. If time allowed, he planned to search the place again today to make sure whoever the suspected intruder was hadn’t gotten in again another way.
“Hey,” Lila said, answering the door. She was dressed in jeans and a pink turtleneck sweater today, her hair pulled back into a ponytail and her eyes bright with energy. His fingertips itched to reach out and touch her again, but he shoved them in his jacket pockets instead. He had no business touching her again when he couldn’t offer her and Parker the future they deserved.
“Come on in,” she said, waving him inside. “Clara’s here, along with Nancy and the twins. I thought maybe it might be nice for you to meet everyone and get acquainted since you’ll probably be spending time together today.”
“Great.” He took off his coat and laid it over the back of the chair in the living room again, the walked over to shake hands with Nancy and Clara, and meet the twins, Tally and Bex. They were four and fraternal, not identical. A girl and a boy, respectively. After the preliminaries were done, he turned back to Lila and Clara again. “So, you ladies excited to hit the slopes?”
“I am,” Clara said. “I haven’t been skiing in ages. I used to be pretty good when I was younger. Competed regionally and everything.”
“Wow.” Preston smiled. “What about you, Lila?”
“Yes, I’m looking forward to it. I’m not nearly as good as Clara, but it’ll be nice to spend time with other adults for a change.”
“Amen, sister.” Clara laughed then checked her watch. She was wearing a white scuba-suit looking deal with a bright red scarf around her
neck and a black knit hat on her head. Preston wasn’t really a skier himself but from the looks of it, her outfit was expensive. “We should get going if we want to make the shuttle at the lodge.”
“Right.” Lila brushed past Preston to get her coat off the hook by the door and he caught a hint of her scent again—bright citrus and soap—and a fresh wave of awareness swamped his system before he could stop it. “Well, we’ll be back in a few hours. I’ve got my phone with me in case you need to get hold of me, but like I said, reception could be spotty. Nancy can help you too, if you need it.”
She crouched down and Parker, who’d been playing a game with the twins in the living room, came rushing over and threw his arms around her neck, holding on for dear life. “Have fun, Mommy! I love you!”
“Love you too, buddy. To the moon and back.”
“To the moon!” Parker said, kissing her on both cheeks before running back to his game.
“Okay, then.” Lila straightened and waited while Clara said goodbye to her twins. “Thanks again, Preston, for offering to take him today. All the kids have had their breakfast and should be good to go.”
“Awesome. And my pleasure.” He held the door for them. “Be careful and have fun and don’t worry about a thing.”
He waved as they walked down the steps and out to the road, wishing he could take his own advice, at least about the worrying part. But once the door closed and he swiveled to find Parker and the twins watching him, he froze for a moment.
“Preston, come join us,” Nancy said, breaking him out of his stress-induced rigor. “Maybe with your military background you’ll do better at this game than I have. I keep getting stuck in the chocolate bog.”
“Uh, sure.” He sat on the floor between Parker and Bex and stared at the game board. Apparently, it was some kind of magical land filled with all sorts of candy and treats that you had to try and escape from. Yeah. Okay. He could do this. Breaking it down strategically, it was like a mission. Identify the target, plan out the most expedient route to get it, then execute the plan as best you could given the inherent variations. Now to explain that in a way young kids could understand.
“So, we want to get from here,” he pointed to a gum drop gate then to a pink castle made from whipped cream—or maybe ice cream, it was hard to tell, “and go to here, right?”
“Right,” Tally said, nodding her head. “But you have to stay away from the witch that lives here.”
She put her finger a black licorice shack at the center of the board. “She’ll eat you whole.”
“Okay then. Let’s roll. Parker, which one are you?”
His son pointed to a yellow game piece in the shape of a lemon slice. “I’m the sour drop.”
“Are you now?” he reached over to tickle Parker’s sides and send him into a fit of giggles. The next two hours passed in a blur as they played and laughed and even Nancy finally got out of the chocolate bog and made it to the Strawberry Cream Castle. By the time they were done, the sun was up, and the clock read nine a.m. Only six more hours to go. “Who’s ready for sledding?”
“Me, me, me!” all three kids yelled in unison.
Preston helped Nancy up off the floor then smiled down at the older woman. At her age, sitting down there couldn’t have been comfortable, but she’d been a real trooper about it. “If you need a break, I can take them to the hill myself.”
“Are you sure?” Nancy gave him a look. “The twins can be a handful.”
“I was there with Parker the other day and it went fine, so I think we’ll be okay.”
“Fine, if you want to then.” Nancy smiled. “My joints aren’t what they used to be, I’m afraid. Plus, it will give me a chance to start making lunch for everyone. Unless, you’d rather be alone with Parker for lunchtime. In that case, I can take the twins home with me and leave you in peace.”
He glanced over to where the twins were showing Parker how to put the game away and shook his head. Having them around seemed to be a good influence on his son and frankly, he could use all the help he could get right now. “No, it’s fine. I’ll take all three to go sledding. Wear them out a bit and build their appetites for later.”
“Perfect.” Nancy toddled off toward the kitchen. “Tom’s going to stop by for lunch as well, so he’ll be here when you get back. I’m guessing you’ll be the one who needs a break then.”
“Probably.” He chuckled and pulled on his coat, then helped Parker into his winter gear while Nancy got the twins into theirs. Once everyone was bundled up, he turned to grab Parker’s sled, which was leaning against the wall by the door. “Now, we’ll have to take turns, so everyone be patient.”
“No, we don’t.” Bex grinned and pointed outside. “We brought our sled along too, so we can all go down the hill together.”
“Awesome.” Preston herded the kids out the door then leaned back into wave at Nancy. “See you soon.”
“Good luck!” she called back from the kitchen.
Luck was exactly what he needed more of as they crossed the street and headed up the hill to the summit. It was packed as usual and they no sooner reached the top then the twins took off running toward the edge and started down the slope. Parker pulled at Preston’s hand, wanting his dad to let go so he could run after them, but no way was Preston letting his kid out of his sight. Bad enough if one of the twins got hurt. If anything happened to Parker, he’d never forgive himself.
“Okay, buddy,” he said, finding a spot for them at the edge of the slope and putting the sled down. “You ready to conquer this hill together?”
“Yes, Daddy!” Parker yelled. “Let’s roll!”
The fact he’d used the same words Preston had earlier gave him a weird sense of pride. His son was paying attention and trying to emulate him. How cool was that? He got Parker situated on the front of the sled then climbed on behind him. “Ready?”
“Yeah!” Parker clapped his hands. “Go, Daddy!”
“Great kid you’ve got there,” an older woman said from beside them.
“Thanks,” Preston said, feeling on top of the world. “Hold on, son. Here we go!”
Using his heels, he dug into the snow on either side of them and shoved off. The sled tipped downward over the summit, then WHOOSH! Parker squealed and Preston laughed as they sped down the hill at breakneck speed. Wind stung his cheeks and the sun made him squint and Preston couldn’t remember ever having more fun in his life. They spun out near the bottom, ending up facing the summit of the hill where they’d started. Preston stood first, brushing the snow off his jeans before taking Parker’s hand to help him up. “Okay, son? That was fun, huh?”
“Yes, Daddy!” Parker threw his arms around Preston’s legs and squeezed tight. “I love it! Go again!”
The twins were waiting near the bottom for them and they all walked back up the hill together to slide down again, this time side by side. It turned into a race, and then a series of races with Tally keeping score of who reached the bottom first each time. Preston noticed some discrepancies in her numbers a couple of times but didn’t say a word. Winning wasn’t the point. Having fun was.
Time flew by now, faster than the scenery whizzing past them as they tore down the hill. Before he knew it, it was lunch time and they gathered their sleds and headed back to the cabin.
“Can we go again after lunch?” Parker asked Preston as they waited to cross the road. “Please?
“I’m not sure. Maybe.” He patted his pocket to make sure his phone was still in there. Honestly, he hadn’t thought about the stupid thing all morning, which was a nice change of pace after what seemed like days of endless waiting on his CO to call back. “We’ll see how you feel after your nap, eh?”
True to her word, Nancy had lunch ready for them when they got back to the cabin and Tom was there too. They had the table set with hot dogs and buns and chips and drinks. All Preston and the kids had to do was clean themselves up a little, and then sit down. Preston said a grateful prayer for that too. One less thin
g he had to worry about. After bathroom breaks all around to wash up, the twins squeezed in around the too-small table for four. Preston helped Parker up onto his seat as well, then he took a chair between his son and Tom while Nancy wedged herself between the twins and they all dug in.
The food was simple, but after a morning of activity, it tasted like heaven on earth. As he munched on his chips, Tom kept the conversation going.
“So, Lila mentioned to us that you’re in the military?”
“Yes, sir,” Preston said, after swallowing another bite of hot dog. “Navy SEAL.”
“Well, thank you for your service.” Tom sipped his soda. “Are you near the end of your tour of duty or just starting?”
He shrugged. “It’s more of a career for me. I never really thought of doing anything else.”
“Oh.” Tom glanced from him to Parker then back again. “Must be hard, with a family back home.”
“It is. Or I guess it is. I’m still adjusting to the whole idea, actually.” Preston exhaled slow. “I never imagined having a family while I was serving. Then I met up with Lila again here and met Parker for the first time. It’s been amazing…but sooner or later, we’re going to have to get back to our real lives. Being involved with a soldier makes things hard on the people you leave behind. That’s why I didn’t plan on doing that.”
“Hmm. Tell me about it,” Tom said.
“Were you in the military too?” he asked, looking over at the older man.
“No, no. But I used to drive a truck long-haul in my younger days. Did cross-country routes every month to make ends meets. I was lucky if I was home more than three days in six months.” Tom narrowed his gaze on Nancy across the table while she was busy helping Tally squirt ketchup on her hot dog. “My wife was always understanding about it. I mean we needed the money and work was scarce, so what else could we do? But it does take a special kind of woman to deal with being alone so much, especially after our kids came. She did the bulk of raising them on her own.” Tom sighed and sat back, pushing away his empty plate. “Then one day, I came home and realized I’d missed out on everything. Our kids were teenagers, and I hadn’t been there for their childhoods, all those special moments. My real wake-up call came when Nancy had her cancer scare though. The results came back benign, thank goodness, but that was enough to wake me up and tell me that time’s precious. Life’s too short and I needed to stop and appreciate what I had before it was too late. A desk job came up at the trucking headquarters for a dispatcher and I took it. Kept it until the day I retired and never looked back. Nancy’s my soul mate and our dream was always to have an inn like this of our own one day.”
