She got used to the feeling of Lucas’ eyes on her when she was outside beating one of the rugs or walking through the gardens. Even being up later in the evenings, she felt more alive than she had in her entire life. For once, she did what she wanted and ate when she was hungry. Twice now, Mary had to find larger dresses for Emma because she was putting on some well-needed weight. It’s amazing what a person will look like if fed well. Emma was in the prime of her life. Her face and body finally filling out so she no longer looked like a starved skeleton.
She had been outside enjoying the sun when Rage took off after something. Emma turned just in time to see a little black kitten duck under the edge of the porch. “Rage, if you kill that kitten there will be no more snacks for you and you will sleep on the floor tonight.” He immediately stops and turns back towards Emma. “That’s what I thought. Let’s go see what Lucas is into this evening. Maybe he will read to us tonight.”
§§§
Lucas paces the room this evening, not looking forward to the conversation he was going to have with Emma tonight. He didn’t know how she would respond to being alone for a few days and he hated the thought of leaving her, but he didn’t have a choice. He looked up thinking it was her coming through the door when in walked, Tavish.
“Damnit Tavish, what do you want now. I'm not in the mood tonight.” Lucas walked to the window, hoping Emma was still outside.
“Brother, if I waited until you were in the mood, it would take centuries. What is wrong? Let your little brother take some of the burden from you tonight.” Tavish walked over, plopped down on the couch, and then slung his feet up, leaning back with his arms behind his head.
Lucas walks over and shoves his feet off the couch. “Get the Hell up and go bug someone else tonight, Tavish!”
“What has your bloomers in a twist? Is it your new pet? I was watching her and Rage outside. They have become quite attached, she has bloomed for sure. What do you want for her? Name your price.” The smile on Tavish’s face showed he was enjoying this.
Lucas could see the cunningness in his brother’s eyes. Tavish wanted to see how Lucas would respond to that statement. “She isn’t for sale!”
“What a pity. I noticed you haven’t marked her though and that leaves her easy prey brother. If you don’t want to do it, I will volunteer for the job. Nothing like a virgin neck, oh the pleasure of bringing one to its knees. There isn’t anything like that first bite. This is the least I can do for you, dear brother. After all, you would do it for me. You better be glad I wasn’t Victoria snooping around the place. She would have torn her throat out, just to watch you suffer, especially after what you did to her Louie.”
“Louie was mad. Someone had to put him down. She couldn’t see what a danger he was to all of us. Emma isn’t a problem and she isn’t any of your concern. What the Hell are you doing here anyway? I haven’t seen you this much in years!” Lucas had to hold himself back from attacking Tavish. The very thought of someone actually hurting or marking Emma was making his insides boil.
“Oh, I do believe I hear her coming now. The pleasure of watching you squirm, brother will be so worth your wrath in the end.”
Emma didn’t knock; she and Rage just opened the door and walked on in. She was scolding Rage for something and didn’t notice Lucas wasn’t alone. “Lucas, do you know what he was chasing?” She didn’t finish her sentence. She stopped the moment she sees the blond haired man on the couch. “I'm sorry; I’ll return later, My Lord.”
Tavish swings himself up from the couch and is standing behind her before she can move with his hand around the back of her neck. Rage immediately starts growling showing his teeth. Emma held so still, she was holding her breath. Lucas could see the instant terror in her eyes as she was pleading with him to help her.
“Call off the wolf Lucas, or I will snap her neck, and what a pretty little neck it is too.” Tavish had moved right up behind Emma, his body flush with her back. He reaches a hand around her waist drawing her up close. With his other hand, he pulls her hair back away from her shoulder and then lowers his head sniffing her. “Damn, she will be good. I can’t believe you have left this little morsel untouched. What willpower you must have, or ignorance, it’s got to be one of the two.”
Rage hunkers down ready to leap the very moment a whimper comes out of Emma’s mouth. Lucas walks over and puts his hand on the top of Rage’s head, “Easy big guy. I’ve got this. What do you really want, Tavish? You are using the girl as a distraction. She is nothing to me, I can hardly stand the smell of her, but Mary needed some help and she was the best available at the time.”
Lucas’ whole world stood still for a minute as he watches Emma’s eyes get big. She believed he really meant that, but he had to play the part. Lucas watched Emma’s emotions close down right in front of him. He finally realizes this is her way of coping. “Give her to me if marking her is so damn important to you.” Tavish grips her by the neck hard and throws her at Lucas. Emma falls roughly to her knees in front of him, but she never makes a sound. Lucas knew he could show her no kindness. Tavish was testing him for some reason. Yes, he could beat him in a fight, but he didn’t want to kill his brother. If Tavish thought Emma was a weakness, he would use her against him constantly.
Lucas reaches down and yanks Emma to her feet. The gasp that leaves her throat tells Lucas just how terrified she really is. His only hope was that she would forgive him for this. He turns her around holding her the same way Tavish had. Enjoying the feel of her flush against his body, she molded to him like a glove. It was like they were the perfect fit.
Lucas knew his brother would want to watch this. Pulling Emma’s hair back he ran his tongue down the column of her throat. He could feel her whole body trembling. Then he sank his fangs harshly into her, the taste of her almost makes him close his eyes. Emma’s blood had a very unique flavor. It was thicker than most and definitely more intense, but as long as Tavish was there, he didn’t have the luxury of enjoying Emma this way. He could feel her entire body shudder. Ripping his fangs out he lets her blood run down his chin and her puncture wounds seeped out her essence. Two small streams of blood run down her shoulder all the way to her back. Lucas holds her for a moment longer, she doesn’t struggle or make a sound and he knew that what he had done was painful. “Leave us!” He tells Emma as he pushed her away. “Are you satisfied Tavish, she is thoroughly marked. Now leave me be.” Emma ran from the room.
“As you wish big brother, but for now I will let this go.” Before Lucas could say a word Tavish was gone.
§§§
I start to run grasping my shoulder, stumbling from the pain. I can feel wetness through my dress from the blood. What a fool I am, I can feel a scream building in my throat from the unfairness of it all. I put my hand over my mouth. I’m terrified what will happen if I finally let all the pain of my life out at one time. Tears fill my eyes, why did I do this to myself again? I know better than to let anyone close, this is what happens every time.
I don’t know how I even ended up outside. I notice the air being crisp, and the chill bumps all over me, but the cold isn’t bothering me for once. It’s the feeling of what is left of my heart breaking that is ripping me apart inside. I knew I was getting too comfortable and to close to him. Nothing good lasts long in my life. When will I ever learn? I'm not someone another person can love for very long.
I felt Rage sit down with me, but I push him aside. “Stay away from me Rage, go to your master. I will never trust either of you again.” He stands growling like he is trying to tell me something, then walks away towards the house. I don’t want to ever go in there again. I sit down on the ground staring up at the stars. Wishing that just once in my life I was enough. Why doesn’t anyone want me? The tears finally stop because I have no more to shed. I'm numb once again.
I feel him behind me then, he is the comfort I have sought my whole life. So close but still so far away. I close my eyes praying for strength, something I know I no longer have.
He stole and threw away all that was left of me.
“What the Hell Emma, I have been hunting for you everywhere. I can’t protect you if I don’t know where you’re at. Do you know the amount of people who would love to hurt you just to get to me? Wasn’t what happened in the library enough to prove that to you! Did that scene not teach you a thing? Let me see your neck. I know it still has to be bleeding.”
Emma could feel the darkness pulsing off of Lucas; he was pissed. But in her eyes, he had no right to be mad. She was the one he humiliated. And the one he couldn’t stand the sight of. “I could start wearing a bell if that would help. And why do you care one way or another about my neck, unless you’re worried about your nightly snack draining dry? Isn’t that why you have been fattening me up, an easy meal once in awhile?”
“What the Fuck brought that on Emma!” Lucas could feel his temper rising, how dare she act like this. “I have been nothing but kind to you. If you would give me a minute, I can explain to you what happened in the library. Instead, you’re making up your own twisted version.” She wasn’t listening to a single thing he was saying.
“You only saved me because of Rage. We both know that. You would have left me there to rot and never looked back, if not for him.”
“I will agree I had second thoughts about saving you and it wasn’t one of my finer moments in life, but it doesn’t matter. I did save you. Why are you bringing this all up now? I don’t have time tonight to deal with this nonsense.” Emma was sitting on the cold ground shivering, refusing to look up at Lucas.
He could see spots of blood seeping through her dress. He knew he had been rough, but seeing the blood just showed him how bad it really was. The whole time he had been searching for her. He had hoped all of this wasn’t as bad as it seemed, but he couldn’t deny the proof right in front of him. Damn, how did he make this right now! “Emma, please.” She never gave him a chance to finish what I was going to say. The next words out of her mouth, just about brought him to his knees.
“I hate you right now!” Emma said, still refusing to look up at him.
Lucas grabbed her by the shoulders and picked her straight up into the air holding her eye level with him. Emma stared at the monster that has finally broken her. She had fought to survive all of these years and one sentence out of his mouth took all she had left.
“Emma, you have been crying, did someone else do something to you? I know things are confusing right now, but I had to do that or Tavish would never have let you live. What madness is all of this? The Emma, I know is tougher than a little bite.”
Lucas was looking around like he was trying to see what had hurt me, too bad he didn’t have a mirror. It wasn’t the physical hurt, it’s my heart. I know where I stand with him now; once again, I'm expendable. “Madness you say, maybe that’s exactly what it is. Is that why it was fine for you to hurt and humiliate me like that, madness you claim? Or, was it really because your company demanded it? I thought you were the Lord of this manor. Not your brother or any other lost relatives.”
Lucas was still holding me by the arms. “Will you put me down please?” He sets me down but doesn’t let me go. He just stands there staring at me, not saying a word.
I was staring at his chest and the words come out before I could stop them. “Do you have any idea what it is like to simply want a kind word from someone, Lucas? Do you know what it’s like to struggle every day to be noticed only to finally have it happen and it’s a terrible experience. Do you know what it’s like to feel like a waste of air, to wish you were never born? Do you have any idea what a person will do to be loved? I do.” I feel what energy I had left, drain from me and I start to sink to the ground. Lucas swings me up into his arms and heads towards the house. I don’t cling to him this time. I simply hang loosely in his arms. I no longer feel anything, my soul is finally empty.
Lucas walks towards Emma’s room he has no idea how to fix this. She either couldn’t or wouldn’t understand. The words she whispered standing in the dark outside had been carved into his soul. He was terrified to care about her, but she had somehow wiggled her way into his heart. Lucas knew there would be a day he would be brought to his knees, but he didn’t think it would be from someone more broken than he was.
Lucas looks down at Emma’s form laying limp in his arms and thought to himself. “Am I too late to fill the cracks that have swallowed the light in her eyes? I sure didn’t see me falling for her when I saved her. Nothing in my long life could have prepared me for Emma, but she is empty inside; years of abuse and torment have taken their toll on her. How do I make her understand that I don’t plan on forsaking her too, or have I already? She has become something I can’t live without, but if I don’t leave, she will be something that consumes me and I don’t think my heart can handle her emptiness.”
Lucas sits Emma down on one of the chairs in front of the fireplace in her room. She pulls her legs up under herself and stares into the fire, never even acknowledging that he was still there. “Emma, I have to leave for a few days. I'm needed in London. I don’t have time to explain everything that happened this evening, but please know I had your best interest at heart. Maybe in my absence, you will calm down enough to understand and we can talk about it all when I get back. I will leave money and a note for Mary in the library to make sure you have all that you need while I'm gone. I know you don’t like to be alone, but I have to take Rage with me. I couldn’t rest unless he was there to watch over me, throughout the daylight hours.”
Lucas stands there another second waiting for her to say anything at all, but she had curled up on herself and was gone. Once again, there was nothing but a shell sitting in front of him. He hated that he had to leave her like this. Emma was like a rare flower that only opened with the best of care. If you neglect her, she’d ball back up, protecting herself. Lucas reaches his hand out running the back of his hand down her cheek.
He wanted to be mean. He wanted to strike out at her for ignoring him, but his anger wouldn’t fix anything right now. He had hurt her even though he told her he wouldn’t. He reaches down and kisses the top of her head, then turns away, walking from the room. He doesn’t see the one tear she had left, run down the cheek he just caressed, and he never looked back at her because she watched to see if he would.
Chapter Thirteen:
I don’t think I functioned the first day. I lay there feeling sorry for myself. I knew, Lucas was leaving, but I couldn’t remember why. Two days later, I was walking the halls, the silence was deafening. I had gotten too attached to him and Rage. I had become addicted to the comfort I got from both of them. I think I would have stood on my head to receive a kind word, from him.
Lucas didn’t come right back like he said and Mary hasn’t been to the manor either. She sent a letter by courier addressed to Lucas, but I don’t feel comfortable opening it. A few other letters have been delivered, but they have all been made out to Mary. I have plenty of food for at least a week with just me eating it, but the days are so long. I don’t feel like cleaning and I can’t get in the library because it’s locked once again. Lucas never got me a key and now he probably won’t after that scene with his brother.
I jump at every sound and at night I feel like I have eyes all around me. I hear whispers in the hallways and the walls. I woke alone once again startled by another nightmare. This time the Hellhounds were coming for me. I can see their red eyes as they surround me ready to devour my body and soul. I swear I hear a growl come from my own chest and the sudden sound jerks me straight up in the bed. For a mere second, I could have sworn I saw a woman with long black hair standing over me, but I blink and she was gone.
As this solitude continues, my mind is imagining everything from abandonment, to one of them being hurt. Then again they may not want to return. Lucas could stay away indefinitely and never come back here or contact me again. No one would even know I was here until they found my dead body in one of the rooms. This would be a small inconvenience, just a blink of an
eye for Lucas and the others like him. Maybe this is what he is waiting on, the passage of time.
In all of our conversations, I was never brave enough to ask what his longtime plans were for me. I was just counting my blessings day to day that I had a roof over my head, a bed, and food to eat. Then he had to hurt me with his cruel words. I try to look back at that night. See if I missed something he was trying to show or tell me, but all I can see is his cruel eyes. When the nights finally arrive, all I can see in my dreams are his black eyes and his laughter as he sinks his fangs in my neck. Then I see nothing but blood everywhere. The horror of his amusement wakes me up every time.
The walls are closing around me. I need to escape this silence. I know Lucas told me not to leave the grounds, but he isn’t here, is he?
§§§
Finally, after almost two weeks, Lucas was done in London. He had become weary from the constant correspondence’s arriving daily that needed his attention. As soon as he fixed one problem something else comes up, but Emma was never far from his mind. He was for sure she was still upset. The more he thought about it. He knew if t his had happened to him he still would still be pissed. The moment he arrived in London, he hired another of his kind to keep tabs on Tavish. He wanted to know his brothers every move while he was away from Emma. Her safety was all he could think about.
Lucas had been gone far longer than he planned, but at least Mary was there to keep her company throughout the day. He hoped the letters had been delivered to Mary on time. Lucas informed her of what happened with Tavish in the library and then instructed for someone to stay on the property at all times with Emma. In the last letter to Mary, he had included one for Emma. Telling her how sorry he was and that he hoped she would give him a chance to explain why he had been so harsh with her.
The last few nights Rage had become extremely restless. Lucas hadn’t rested soundly for days now himself. He knew that Mary would write if something was wrong, but flashes of Emma’s life were plaguing his dreams, all of them disturbing in so many ways. The day was just lengthening, but tonight they could finally go home. Lucas was looking forward to his own bed and the safety of being home in his lair, but he wasn’t looking forward to Emma or her reaction to him biting her either.
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