by Azhar Amien
Chapter 3: Dying Light
“Jack where are you right now?”
I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at my wife apologetically.
arHardHa
“I said I’m worried that you’re getting too wrapped up in this,” Nicole said while laying in my arms and drawing lines on my chest with her hand.
Her body was warm against mine, and her skin felt amazing to my touch. Maybe she was right, but I wasn’t ready to admit it just yet. This was the fourth night I had zoned out on her, and the fourth night I’d been awake until the early hours of the morning. This time, Nicole had stayed up with me and tried to talk to me about it, but I wasn’t in the mood. So instead she had tried to distract me with the suggestion of a movie or something, but again I turned it down. I appreciated what she had been trying to do, I felt bad for being so far away when we were together, but I couldn’t help it. Eventually she had just held onto me and we remained in silence.
Ever since discovering that my busting of the weapons shipment had set Cornero’s paranoia off I had been worried for my family. Worried that he’d lash out in rage for what I had done. But the days passed by and nothing came. In some ways the silence unsettled me more. I knew I was being overly paranoid myself about the whole thing. I was still a cop. No matter what that always counted for something. And I wasn’t just a cop anymore, I was more. Since the last murder, Sarah and I had tried to track down everyone who had been involved with the weapons shipment, but that had turned out to be a dead end. They were well hidden most likely for the exact reason that Cornero didn’t want us finding them before he dealt with them. He didn’t want them talking to us out of fear. He must have been lying to them; offering them ways to redeem themselves but really it was just a death sentence. It wouldn’t make sense for them to voluntarily meet at the place they were going to die at unless they were tricked or forced into it.
It was bad. We had no idea when, where or how the next murder would take place if there was to even be one. We could only be reactive here. And that put us completely on the back foot. The other thing I didn’t understand was why Cornero was being sloppy with the murders. With his resources he could make it so that these bodies were never found. It was almost like he was just enjoying watching us muck about. Like we were ants in his cage.
“Jack, usually I find your brooding all cute and mysterious but tonight it’s getting on my nerves.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m just worried about everything that’s going on. The mob is scared after the arrest at the docks and they’re acting out.”
“Are we in danger?”
I didn’t answer.
“Hey.”
“I was worried that we would be. But no, I don’t think so. It’s been a long time, and nothing seems out of the ordinary or is giving me any reason to worry.”
“You know you can tell me, right? We’re in this together. I know you like to get protective, but I’m a big girl I can handle the trouble,” she paused with a sly smile, “I married you, remember?”
“That’s what I love about you, honey. Even when you’re being serious you still find a way to make fun of me.”
“It’s hard to resist when it’s so easy, husband of mine.”
“You say the nicest things to me.”
Nicole was silent for a while then before she abruptly said, “Did you know I had a hand in prosecuting those men? The ones you arrested.”
I looked at her in surprise, “You never told me.”
She smiled, “It was your moment.”
“Still should have told me.”
“Quit being a baby.”
I laughed, “Oh, I’m sorry, not all of us can be as hardcore as you.”
She scratched my chest, “Don’t you forget it or else you’ll be really sorry.”
I grinned, “Is that a threat?”
“A promise,” she said in a deep voice.
I grabbed her and pulled her onto me, “How cliché. You forget I’m also hardcore now.”
“Oh, is that so?”
“Yeah, making big arrests and solving homicide cases.”
“My Jack? I don’t believe that. You need to prove it.”
I bit her neck, “Oh I’ll prove it!”
She laughed and kissed me back, throwing her arms around my neck.
“Daddy...”
I glanced up from my mobile phone and looked over at my daughter with a smile. She was staring at me with her big blue eyes, a half sulky expression on her face, and her favourite white teddy with a red heart in its hands laying on the table in front of her. I noticed the fur on its right ear looked as though it had been chewed. I smiled. She probably did that in her sleep.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?”
“You’re always busy these days.”
“I know baby. I’m really sorry but your dad is doing some very important things right now and I have to work really hard.”
“Is it because you’re famous now?”
I laughed at her, “No baby I got promoted, which means I’m doing more difficult and more important work.”
“So when will you have time to watch a movie with me, daddy?”
There are few feelings worse than disappointing your child. Feeling like in spite of all you’re trying to do, you’re not giving them what they really want. Jess wasn’t spoiled. She wasn’t a lover of material things. Sure, like any kid she loved her toys and pretty dresses, but what she wanted most was just time with her parents. I suppose it was difficult for an only child without siblings, because they can get lonely quite easily, and it’s not like we allowed her to sleep over at her friends or be without supervision. Not in this city. Hell we were paranoid to let her out of our sight most of the time. But that’s how parents were. I understood. I had been an only child too. My wife had a younger sister, so she had someone to talk to growing up. But they had drifted over the years.
“I’m so sorry my angel. I’m not sure. I want to try to have time for it on Sunday night.”
Her face fell, “It’s a school night.”
How stupid of me.
“I can watch it with you, Jess. Which movie is it you’d like to see?” Nicole said, coming up behind Jess’ chair and ruffling her hair. She looked at me and I could see that even Nicole felt a bit upset about it. We used to always make time for our little girl. Nicole had stressed the importance of it for years. That in our city she needed good in her life, she needed our guidance and love and to be protected at home. I always was afraid of sheltering her from what’s out there, but Nicole said we weren’t treating her like a child. We spoke to her like she was one of us. But she needed to know we’re always there and we care about her.
“I want both mummy and daddy. It’s our movie night.”
At that moment I hated what I did.
“Jess, I-” I barely started before my phone rang.
I put the phone to my ear. It was Sarah. She told me that there was commotion down town, and it seemed quite serious. A body had been found out in public.
“I have to go, Jess, I’m sorry. I promise I will try, okay?”
“Okay, daddy,” Jess said in a small voice, and left the table to go to her room. I loved that she was never one to throw a tantrum and she wouldn’t complain, but she couldn’t hide her emotions either. When she was upset it showed, and the poor girl couldn’t help it. As she left I could see that her eyes were misty. I felt it in my heart. Her parents were so busy that she loved the time we did get to spend together, and I loved it too. It just made me happy to make her happy. Of course there was a limit to the amount of things a parent could do with their child, but these were the years where children idolised their parents. The years where we could really shape who they were and how they thought. I hated missing out on even a moment.
Nicole walked over behind my chair and leaned down, putting her arms around me.
“She’ll get over it, honey. Is everything okay?”
“It sounds like something ser
ious has happened. A body has been found in public.”
“Jack, it’s starting to feel like there’s a new one every day around here. Is there anything you’re not telling me?”
“No, love. I mean, I’ve understood the murders so far, but publicly, out in the open? It doesn’t make any sense. The first two were planned. Straight hits. I could figure out the reason. At least, what I think the reason is. This is just strange.”
“Please be careful, Jack. You need to understand the kind of people you’re dealing with. They don’t fear getting caught. They aren’t afraid of prison. They have real power.”
“What are you saying?” I looked up at my wife. She was being completely serious now.
“I’m saying that you haven’t dealt with these kinds of people before. At least not directly. I’m saying, Jack, that the ice is thin. We both know far too well that the worst enemy you can have is the one you don’t know or understand. Don’t underestimate them.”
I kissed her hand, “I won’t, baby. I promise.”
She kissed my cheek, “And make time for Jess, broody. She won’t be your little girl forever.”
I smiled, “I know.”
I could tell that the situation was grim before I even spoke to Sarah. The police lights flashed red and blue and a crowd of spectators were held off by yellow tape. The media was here and so were civilians. I pushed past anyone in my way and ignored the flashing cameras and officers around me. It was out in the open alright. Practically random. I walked to the centre of the stage, where the body was, and found Sarah waiting with impatience.
“You’re late, Jack.”
“He’s not going anywhere,” I said, pointing at the body.
“You choose now to develop a sense of humour?”
“Edgy.”
“Tell me something here, because I’m not seeing anything about this that makes sense.”
I looked down at the body. It was mangled in a disturbing way and the man’s limbs were broken awkwardly. He’d practically been crushed to pieces. It was easy enough to deduce that he had probably been thrown from the building above me. As I examined the body Sarah informed me that just like the others he had had a note on him that specified his meeting place and the time he was supposed to be here. Was this a whole lot of nothing as well? I knew why these men were dying, but there was no link or anything to go on at all.
“Remember, Sarah. Take this one’s shoes to forensics as well. Hopefully there’s something.”
She nodded.
“Sir, you can’t be here. This is a crime scene. Please step back.”
I looked behind me in the direction of the voice. A police officer was talking to a man in a hooded jacket. I immediately tensed. Something wasn’t right about that man. Was he drunk? What was he doing? I gestured at Sarah and she saw him. I reached for my gun and slowly raised myself to my feet, stepping towards the officer and the stranger. He had both his hands tucked in his pockets and kept his head down so that none of us could see his face. I walked more urgently. The police officer was right in front of the man. I saw a glint of silver.
“Officer get back! You! Put your hands in the air!” I shouted, drawing my gun.
The police officer turned to me startled and it happened instantly. The stranger drew a knife out of his jacket pocket and plunged it into the gut of the policeman, again and again, leaving his body riddled with bloody holes. The policeman barely had time for surprise to register on his face before he crumpled to the ground with blood pouring out of his wounds.
Panic swept through the crowd. Chaos erupted.
I reacted first. The screams, the shouts, the movement - I ignored it all. I ran after the man. The hooded man darted through the crowd, and I pumped my legs as hard as I could as I kept him in my line of sight. My mind couldn’t properly process what had happened. I didn’t have the time. I just needed to act.
I felt my heart catch in my throat as the fleeing man suddenly grabbed a child, a girl, from her mother’s hand. The screams were enough to shatter my insides. I thought of Jess. I ran harder. He held her above the ground and backed into the entrance of a large building. I stopped outside of it in a moment’s hesitation. The mother of the little girl was screaming behind me, her voice crazed. I didn’t have time to sympathise. I was now dealing not just with a murder, but a hostage situation.
Unfortunately, police protocol was one of powerlessness here. We had to secure the perimeter and wait for demands from the hostage taker. Rash action could get the hostages killed. There was no telling who else the man could injure or take captive inside the building itself. Sarah caught up to me a few seconds later and I hurriedly told her what had happened. The other officers started swarming in and Sarah shouted out commands to ready their weapons, get into position and block off the nearby roads and exits of the building. She ordered for snipers on the roofs of nearby buildings and a SWAT team. I was lost in my own mind. None of this made any sense. Why on earth would this man kill someone so stupidly, a cop no less, in clear view of all of us? And then back himself into a corner where the outcome was grim for everyone involved? Was he just a crazed killer; a lunatic? Or was there more to this - was it a message to us? All the while the mother continued to cry and scream.
“What the hell is this, Jack?” Sarah asked more rhetorically than directly.
I shook my head. A police offer with a megaphone sounded out behind me conveyeing the usual to the hostage taker - that we had the building surrounded and all the rest. There had to be a clear purpose to this. But what? Why had he used a knife? It clearly wasn’t an assassination. We were wide out in the open. If he had wanted to kill that specific police officer, he could have done with it with a rifle from miles away, and been gone before we knew what had happened. But this was suicidal - as if he wanted to actually be caught. But who knew what else he had hidden under that jacket? For all I knew he could be planning a suicide bombing. He certainly seemed insane enough at this point to not rule anything out.
There were audible gasps in the crowd as the building doors suddenly opened and a woman walked out. She was clutching herself tightly and her face was tear stricken and pale. She had her hands up in the air and was pleading at us not to shoot. The cops shouted instructions at her. She was just a civilian. She looked like she was about to faint. But then in the midst of all the surrounding chaos she spoke, and her voice was shaken.
“He said he wants to speak to Jack Mercer. Alone.”
I froze. Sarah turned to me. What in God’s name was going on? I barely had time to process any of it as just then SWAT arrived, pouring out of their armoured vehicle with their guns raised and black uniforms sticking out like sore thumbs. But it was pointless. They were out of the game now; nothing more than clean up in case our losses were too high and there was no other alternative but to go in and take the crazed man dead or alive. But that man wanted to speak to me, and I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Not unless I wanted that little girl to die, as well as everyone else inside.
I started moving.
“Are you insane?” Sarah hissed, “You’re not going in there.”
“Do I really have a choice? He’s got that little girl. He’s calling the shots here.”
“Damn you, Jack. Then you’re going in with a wire. If I hear anything we’re going in.”
The woman spoke again, fresh tears flowing down her face, “He said if Jack Mercer doesn’t come forward in the next minute, he’ll...oh God he’ll kill the girl!”
“There’s your answer. There’s no time,” I said and advanced towards the building.
I told the officers to take the woman to Sarah for questioning about the man inside, and I thanked her for her bravery, reassuring her that everything was going to be alright. I wasn’t sure if I believed it. But the lie made me feel a little better all the same. I took a deep breath as I began to feel fear creep in. I thought of my family. What did this man want with me? Did he intend to harm me? Was this about the arrest I made - was
the mob finally playing their hand? Damn it I was becoming paranoid. Before I had managed to keep a low profile. That was impossible now. I reached for the door while my heart thumped so hard I felt slightly faint. I slowly opened it and stepped inside.
I was greeted by the hooded man standing in the centre of the room, the knife held to the small girl’s neck. The poor child was so scared she looked like she was going to have a fit. She whimpered and cried. I thought of Jess. I had to be strong. I surveyed the room briefly. There were a few members of staff, rigid at their desks with their hands flat in front of them. A few civilians were crouched on the floor cowering from the man. Security most likely had been called off. I approached him with growing fear. I stopped a few meters away with my gun raised to his forehead.
“Hello Jack,” the stranger said.
His voice was oddly high pitched, and without a shred of warmth.
“I’m here. What do you want?” I replied, holding my gun still.
“You’re thinking about shooting me aren’t you? Wondering if you can put a bullet between my eyes before I slit this little one’s throat. Do you really want to risk it, Mercer? Surely you can sympathise with that poor mother out there.”
He spoke slowly, measuring every word as though each one carried supreme importance. My insides turned to ice. I felt sick.
“Lower your weapon, Jack. I only want to talk.”
I obeyed and, as I holstered my firearm, the man drew back his hood. I stared in shock. His face was a gruesome mess; disfigured and ugly. I couldn’t tell if he was a burn victim, suffering a major defect or something worse. Only then did I look at the knife in his hand and realise he had a finger missing as well. I didn’t know how to react, and so I simply stood in wait, wondering what was going to happen next with growing dread.
“I’m a victim of growing pains. I always lacked discipline. I was arrogant. I was little more than a child with a disruptive sense of bravado. I think you can relate, Jack.”
I said nothing. My heart was banging against my chest, and the adrenaline was making it hard to think clearly. Hundreds of thoughts coursed through my mind in the seconds that passed, and the fear started to be replaced by a rush. The man began to show me the extent of the damage to his face and neck with a deliberate slowness.
“This was my lesson. I was humbled by this pain. I carry it with me as a reminder of how incomplete I used to be. And do you know what?”
He paused, waiting for me to press. I said nothing. I wasn’t going to humour the psychopath.
“I am grateful for it.”
Nicole had been right this morning. I wasn’t prepared for this.
“That’s a cute story. Get to the part where you tell me what the hell it is that you want,” I replied, hearing the words emerge from my mouth but barely controlling them.
The man looked me directly in the eyes.
“Don’t be a hero, Jack.”
Fear coursed through my entire body like a disease. I had heard those exact words before, from the mob boss Victor Salvatore.
“Heroes die.”
I reacted immediately, drawing my gun as fast as lightning. The man barely moved. Suddenly, before I could do anything further, he released his grip on the girl. I was so shocked I nearly dropped my gun. She ran bawling to me and grabbed tightly onto my leg. The man casually let go of the knife and let it fall to the ground at his feet. It clattered loudly in the silence of the room. He raised his hands in surrender.
And then I understood. There’d be no repercussions for the murder he had committed. He could easily make an insanity plea. He most likely was already a former, or current, patient of a mental institution. I approached him and cuffed him and he offered no resistance. I walked him out into the open and sent the little girl off to her mother, who shrieked and grabbed her child as she cried her heart out and thanked me repeatedly.
Sarah seemed barely able to comprehend what she was seeing. There were hushed whispers amidst angry shouts when the psychopath came into view. I handed him over to Sarah and the police who roughly manhandled him into a squad car. He was a cop killer - he’d get no sympathy here among us. Sarah stepped up to me, and her face was white.
“Jack, what in God’s name happened?”
After everything had quieted down and the situation had been diffused, I was alone with Sarah in her car. I had filled her in and I had also explained the encounter with Victor Salvatore in the restaurant, where he had said the exact same words to me. Don’t be a hero. Sarah had also got a call to say that the man had been identified as Nathan Kenway, and as I suspected he was in fact a mental patient. A schizophrenic who had grand delusions of self-importance; that he was meant for a higher calling. He was going back to his old home in the loony bin. There was nothing to link Kenway to. He was a loose cannon. A wild card. Capable of pulling off a crazy stunt like this without fear of it tracing back to anyone.
Nicole had been right. I didn’t know who the hell I was up against.
“Sarah, this was clearly a threat to me from Victor Salvatore himself.”
“Sounds like it. In all likelihood it was his skin you got under when the weapons shipment went south.”
“The way Kenway spoke, about how he had been humbled by his disfiguring. How it had brought him down to earth after he had been hot headed and arrogant. I don’t like any of it. It sounds a hell of a lot like a warning that I’ll be getting a similar lesson. I’m a target now.”
“I’m sorry Jack. I pressured you into taking this job. I didn’t take the time to tell you what it really is about. This is how they play. I’ve been threatened before too.”
I looked at Sarah, raising my eyebrows, “Have you ever been threatened like this?”
“No.”
“And the little girl he took...am I supposed to just believe that was coincidence? He taunted me about Jess. Not directly, but he implied that I should be able to sympathise with the mother of that child since I have a daughter myself. Oh God I think he was threatening Jess.”
I put my head in my hands and Sarah reached over and gripped my shoulder.
“Jack, you’re letting your mind wander off. This isn’t you thinking clearly. You’re seeing what you want to see here. They’re messing with you. Keep your head in the game.”
I lowered my hands.
“I want my family under twenty-four hour surveillance, Sarah. I want you to get guys you trust and see to it that my family is kept safe no matter what.”
“Jack...”
“Do it or I walk.”
Sarah went silent for a few moments.
“Of course. I’ll see to it that they’re kept safe.”
Nicole was horrified when I returned home exhausted and told her everything that had happened. Her horror soon enough turned into a blazing anger.
“Jack, I told you that you didn’t understand these people and what they’re capable of. I told you!”
“I can’t stop now. Nicole we have to fight back! We can’t let them always win. We can’t let them get away with it. We can’t let them get away with it every time! You supported me in this. You said that we were in this together. You knew what I was getting into!”
“Don’t you throw that at me, Jack. That was before this...this insanity. Before your life got threatened.”
“My life is always going to be under threat now. You knew that. I can deal with it.”
“Don’t bullshit me with your rationalisations, Jack. You were threatened directly. Our family was threatened directly. And Jess...this is completely different and you know it.”
“What do you want me to do, Nicole? Just throw down my cards and walk away? Leave it all behind to hide at home? Leave Sarah to face these animals alone?”
“I want you to face reality. We have a little girl! And I will not put her at risk. Not for anything.”
“And you think I will? That I won’t make sure Jess, and you, are safe? I’ve got you under twenty-four hour surveillance by
decent men! Men we can trust.”
“Oh my God, Jack, will you-”
We both stopped. Our shouting had woken up Jess, and she stood there in her pink pyjamas, rubbing her eyes with one hand and holding her white teddy bear at her side in the other. I could see that she was so scared. Nicole and I had never fought like this. We argued and had our little fights here and there like any other couple, but not like this.
“Daddy please listen to mummy. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Her eyes started to tear. God, how much had she heard? Everything faded away then, and I rushed over to her and picked her up into my arms.
“It’s okay baby, daddy won’t get hurt. I promise. I’ll listen to mummy. She’s right. It will be alright, princess, I promise.”
Jess held onto me tightly, and I turned to Nicole as I cradled her. Nicole’s eyes were half angry and half sad.
“I’m so sorry, love. You’re right. It’s time to pull away.”
The anger disappeared from her eyes and she walked over to me and slipped under my arm, rubbing Jess’ hair and kissing me on the cheek, whispering that she was sorry too. We stayed like that for a while before I returned Jess to her bed, but she had already fallen asleep minutes ago. I followed Nicole, and after we had returned to our room we just held each other in silence.
“Jack we heard back from forensics,” Sarah said.
“Anything good?”
“Actually there might be.”
I frowned.
“Their shoes had the usual that you’d expect. Traces of vegetation, gravel and so on. But both shared one similarity that seemed a bit less common.”
“Which is?”
“Both pairs of shoes contained some traces of concrete with a hint or two of cement.”
I massaged my temples, “That doesn’t exactly narrow it down, but the cement? Could be they met at a place that was under construction perhaps?”
She shrugged, “Maybe. It’s better than nothing. We can bank it for now.”
I nodded as she walked off, and I was left alone to my thoughts. I hated lying to my wife. More than anything, I hated it. I had never kept secrets from her before. But I wished that there was a choice in this. They’d gone too far threatening my family and I wasn’t going to just take it. I stared at the board of evidence we had since I began this investigation. I was so tired. It felt like I hadn’t slept in weeks. I finally understood the hell that Sarah faced every day and I felt a deep sense of sadness that she had had to face it alone. I knew there wasn’t anyone else on the force that she trusted as much as me. My vision started to blur and I closed my eyes, taking a moment to rest. I reached for my glass of ice cold water. I drank deeply and welcomed the refreshment it brought. I declined coffee around here. The stuff always put me to sleep.
Officer Ray Coleman, an oddly cheerful man, stepped up next to me. He was easily trustworthy and just as easily likable. He was harmless though.
“You know, Jack, I think you’re a good guy,” he said out of the blue.
“Thanks.”
“Yes, we’re fortunate to have you. It’s good to have a fresh pair of eyes now and again. You were really good on these recent murder cases. I think of you as our own Mr Holmes.”
“I think that’s taking it too far,” I said.
“Hmm. How’s the wife and kid?”
These days I was always on guard when anyone but Sarah mentioned my family.
“Fine.”
“Not much of a talker today, hey? I understand. This shit gets to everyone.”
We went silent. Ray had a strange way of cutting the tension sometimes. I guess it was just his cheery attitude. He was a contrast to my quiet and serious nature. Or so I was told.
“Say Jack.”
“Yes?”
“You may want to look more closely at the map in front of you. The locations of the bodies.”
I looked, humouring him, “You mean the drowning, scrappy beating and public show?”
“Yeah. Give it a look and then come find me at my desk if you get a light bulb up there.”
I raised my eyebrows, “What is this about?”
“I like patterns,” he said with a grin, but his smile faded when he saw Sarah walking towards me, “Uh oh. The boss. I’ve got to get back to work. Catch you later, Jack.”
I looked at the board and the three photographs of the victims. I studied the map and the red dots plotted to show the locations of the murders. What did Ray want me to look at?
I froze.
Sarah sat down next to me, “What’s up?”
I stared at the board. Did it really mean something? Was I getting ahead of myself here? I knew that we as detectives could very easily, and just as dangerously, fall victim to seeing things that weren’t there or reading too much into what didn’t mean anything. Especially when we were at dead ends like this with no evidence. It was an easy mistake to make. The lack of evidence gets to you, so you make yourself believe that what you’re seeing matters. That there’s a pattern hidden somewhere in the darkness. But still. Maybe this was something.
“Jack, you’re doing it again. Zoning out on me,” Sarah commented.
I got up from my chair, grabbed a black marker and stepped up to the board.
“What do you see?”
I stared intensely at the map and wondered if I was being ridiculous.
“Jack, damn it I’m not going to ask you again!”
“It’s something Ray just said.”
I raised the black marker and started to draw.
“He told me to pay attention to the locations of the three murders...”
I stepped away and admired my handy work. The triangle wasn’t that large. There wasn’t much room inside it. I looked at the building in the centre of my triangle. It was close enough to reach all three spots yet far enough to not be of any interest. I was half intrigued and half feeling ridiculous. But I had to know for sure. Was it really just a coincidence that all three murders had taken place within close proximity to this particular building? It seemed strange that was for sure. Even the docks wasn’t too far away from this spot. Victor Salvatore’s mansion was nearby as well. If I didn’t know any better I was getting the feeling that this spot was central. But why?
“Sarah what is this building? Right here in the centre.”
She slowly got up and walked over. I could sense her reluctance.
“I think it’s an old warehouse.”
There just so happened to be an old warehouse close to all three murders and the docks? Either I was losing it and had resorted to playing schoolboy detective or this really was something to be suspicious about.
“I want to know more. I’m going to check it out.”
Sarah was baffled, “Why?”
“Just a hunch I-”
I stopped. I lowered the marker. I made the connection. A warehouse. It fit.
“What?”
“Concrete,” I whispered.
Sarah did not get it.
“The victim’s shoes, Sarah. You said there were traces of concrete and cement.”
Her eyes sparkled as she finally caught on, “The floor of a warehouse...”
I smiled, “It’s what they’re made of last time I checked.”
“This is another stretch, Jack. But I guess it’s all we’ve got. You’re driving. Let’s make this quick.”
“You’re the boss.”
It didn’t take us long to get there and I was honestly already prepared for this to be a waste of time. We pulled up onto the curb and I swiftly exited the car. Sarah had been correct. It was an old warehouse. Except it was closed. And looked like it hadn’t been used in a good long time. It looked like a whole lot of nothing.
“You know, Jack, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. Since we are here and we have some quiet I figure that now is as good a time as any.”
I folded my arms, “What’s the matter?”
“You.”
&nbs
p; I looked at her, frowning, not understanding.
She gazed off into the distance, “I’ve been running this through my head over the last few days. All that we’ve been through since the weapons shipment. I’ve dealt with serious cases in the past. You wouldn’t believe some of the things I’ve seen...but this is different.”
“I’m not following. Different how?”
“As bad as things are right now, before the mob used to operate with some kind of order for lack of a better word. No matter how terrifying things got, and I swear to God it’s been brutal, it was rarely ever out of the ordinary or completely unexpected. But this, the murders and Kenway and you being threatened like it’s some kind of sick joke...this is chaos, Jack. And each passing day I feel less prepared for what’s to come next.”
I listened in silence as I mulled it over. I never imagined that Sarah could be out of her depth or unprepared for anything.
“Are you trying to say that the weapons shipment...what I did is the cause of all this?”
Sarah turned to face me directly then. Her blue eyes were as hard as steel and anyone else would feel small being on the receiving end of her gaze.
“I’m saying it’s you, Jack. What is it about you that has the criminal underworld so on edge? If I didn’t know any better I’d say that they see you as a threat.”
“Maybe they should,” I said against my better judgment.
“Use your head not your ego.”
I got annoyed at that but I knew she was right. That attitude wouldn’t get me anywhere.
“I’ve thought about it. Maybe it’s because I’m like Kenway claims he used to be. I’ve done them damage and I’m standing up to them. Evidently I’m hot headed.”
“The question is how long they’re going to tolerate it.”
“We just need to keep making sure we’re a step ahead of the-”
I stopped as my eyes caught something ahead. I briskly advanced towards it and Sarah groaned. She followed and came up behind me as I reached the entrance to the warehouse. I reached down to examine the lock on the door and I couldn’t help smiling.
“See this lock here? And the chains? While the rest of this warehouse is worn down and old this looks fairly recent. It still has its shine. That’s what caught my eye.”
I had her curiosity then
“We need to get in here because I don’t think it’s as abandoned as we thought,” I said.
“We’re breaking in and we don’t even know if there’s anything in here, Jack.”
“If there’s nothing nobody loses. But if it does turn out to be something...”
Sarah swore and conceded shortly. Her frustration with all of this was clearly at breaking point just like mine. We left the warehouse to retrieve bolt cutters. As soon as we returned I broke the lock and cut the chains and we snuck in. I shut the door behind us. This time we had parked the car some distance away and had walked over to avoid attention at the warehouse. We were greeted by total darkness. I switched on my flashlight and searched. There was nothing worth seeing besides emptiness and dust. I stepped on something hard. It clattered. I called to Sarah in a whisper and bent down to examine the object. My flashlight engulfed it. My heart started to pound.
“It’s a shell casing...” I said, “Still think this is another stretch?”
“We may have guests. Keep your weapon ready.”
I nodded and drew my gun, enjoying the sense of power it gave me. I raised my weapon and held my flashlight arm underneath it as I steadied my aim. We advanced more quietly and slowly now, but I couldn’t hear any sign of there being anyone else here. I was convinced now that we were onto something important. I almost laughed at the thought of absurdity and dumb luck being the reason why. But that seemed to be the ongoing story with me. My pride called bullshit; that it was just good instinct. Whatever it had been I was here now.
Something crunched underneath my boot and I aimed my flashlight down at the floor. I bent down to the ground to examine, and Sarah stopped behind me. I brushed my fingers over the surface. There was a crack in the floor, and tiny crumbs of concrete littered the ground.
I turned to Sarah and whispered, “This must be how it got under the victims’ shoes.”
She nodded. I rose to my feet again. It was a really old warehouse. There were probably similar holes in the ground elsewhere. I continued on. I was sure that I was onto something now. I got to the end of the room without finding anything else relevant and I started to get more anxious. But then I glimpsed a faint blue-green light ahead in the corner and beckoned Sarah over.
I edged towards it. I motioned to Sarah that we might have company. I aimed the beam of my flashlight onto the ground, not wanting to give the game away. I held up three fingers to Sarah, counting down with measured slowness. I burst into the room and aimed my gun and flashlight at eye level hoping to blind anyone who looked directly at us. But there was no one in the room.
There was, however, a lot else.
“Jesus...” Sarah whispered.
The blue-green light was from a computer screen. Littered all over a table was high tech surveillance equipment. It looked like the kind of technology we used on the field. There were two pairs of black leather gloves and two handguns, although I did not recognise the models in the darkness. Razor sharp combat knives, lock picks, GPS trackers and bugs were among the items on display. Wires stretched over the floor.
“Sarah, what the hell is this? The mobs don’t operate in this way. Where in God’s name did they get access to this kind of equipment? This is for covert operations.”
“I don’t know...”
“Christ, what are we dealing with?”
“Let’s call it in,” Sarah said finding her resolve and reaching for her phone.
I grabbed her arm instantly, “No!”
“What?”
“If they have access to equipment like this then surely they must have eyes and ears out there. Maybe on us. Maybe even within our own ranks. We can’t rule it out at this point. We’re out of our depths here. We need to keep quiet. We can’t just trust anyone with this.”
“What exactly are you-”
“Damn it, Sarah, we’re fighting a losing battle here! We can’t risk throwing away this one opportunity to get the element of surprise. They don’t know that we’ve found this.”
“You’re starting to cross a line, Jack.”
“If we play by the rules we’ll lose! Every time. Think about it. They’ve already crossed your line a long time ago. It’s our turn to play a hand. Come on, Sarah, you know that I’m right. We’re running short of options and just as short of people we can trust.”
“What do you suggest we do?”
I had the floor.
“These guys are pros. Bugging this place would no doubt blow up in our faces. And it’s too slow a course of action. We need to get a team we can trust, our best guys, and get them here where they live. We get the people who run this whole operation. They’ll never see it coming. The information these people may have access to...it could be a goldmine! All that they know and all that they’ve seen...judging from what’s in here they really could be the eyes and ears of the mob. They’ve settled in here. They aren’t going anywhere. And we’ve got them.”
Sarah bit her lip.
“You know what we have to do. The time for child’s play is over. We play the way they do and we beat them at their own game. Don’t think with your badge or your emotions. We don’t have the luxury of trust or loyalty. We can only have what it takes to do what’s necessary.”
She stared intently at the equipment littering the tables.
“Alright we’ll do it your way. I want pictures of every corner of this room. Use my phone camera. Do it quick and let’s get out of here and figure out who we can trust.”
I nodded and set to work.
There were five of us gathered in the room. I had stressed to Sarah, repeatedly, that we needed to be able to trust these guys with our lives. We n
eeded the best. It had to be Sarah who picked because I hadn’t been here long enough to do it myself. She knew her men far better than I did. And she had picked out two members of our task force. Will Harding and Marcus Fields. I knew that they were good men. They didn’t ask a lot of questions and did as they were told. Similarly to myself and Sarah they left their personal lives at home. I, however, had suggested a third member to bring our number to five. Ray Coleman. Sarah was dubious about that and more than perplexed given that I had never spoken highly about him before, but he had got me the warehouse lead. And after that I had briefly checked out his profile and discovered that as he had told me he was really good with patterns. He often connected the dots where others didn’t see any. He was definitely useful and perhaps the easiest to trust of them all. I knew him better than the others.
“Any questions?” Sarah asked after filling them in.
Ray Coleman had been especially buzzing after discovering that he had been right, and I had given him my appreciation. I was itching to get started. In a matter of hours everything could change. I studied the other two men briefly. Marcus was close to unreadable. But I noticed that Will looked uncomfortable.
“What’s the matter, Harding?” I asked.
He started slightly and then shifted in his seat, “Are you sure about this, boss?” he said, directing the question at Sarah.
“If you have a problem spit it out,” she ordered.
“Nothing it just seems a bit easy that’s all,” Will said.
“Don’t be naive, Harding. Nothing ever is,” Marcus muttered.
I nodded and gave Sarah an approving look. I surveyed the group.
“It happens tonight.”
“You told me that you’d pull away, Jack,” Nicole said in a low voice. I could see that she was trying to keep herself from reacting more harshly.
I thought very carefully about my next words. Before I had entered the house I had stayed outside for close to ten minutes trying to figure out a way to explain my involvement. I went over my story again and again, but as it goes nothing ever turns out the way you expect it to. And that’s the least that you can always expect. I had had a brief chat with the cops outside who were watching over my house and protecting my family. There were two in a squad car opposite the house, and one other officer around the back. Sarah had checked them out thoroughly before putting them on the job. They were as straight as nails.
“This is different, love. We found something big unintentionally. And this could really put the mob away. It’s our best chance. It happens tonight. Just one more night, Nicole, and I’ll be done with this. I promise.”
“Sure you’ll be I really believe that,” she shot back, but quickly turned apologetic, “I’m sorry that was uncalled for. It’s just I’m trying really hard to be understanding here. I wanted you to be able to do this, Jack, I really did want it for you. But that was before that maniac...before you were out of your depth. I just worry that the deeper you go into this, the worse it will get. I worry about you. About us. About Jess. I worry all the time.”
“I do too.”
“I worry that one day you’re going to come home and you’ll be a different man. Or that you won’t come home at all.”
I approached her and placed my hands on her face, kissing her gently, “We both know I haven’t changed since you met me. My character growth is pretty flat.”
She half-smiled but her expression turned sad, “Jack, these people are ruthless. I really, really don’t want you to go.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I have to.”
She looked up at me, her eyes tearing up, “Why? Why does it have to be you? Why won’t you just let it go, Jack?”
“I’m the only one Sarah can really trust. I want to be there tonight, Nicole. To see it through. We got them, baby. I can feel it. This is it. I need you to be with me on this. Please. It’s just one more night and I’ll be done with this.”
She didn’t say anything for a while.
“It’s going to be okay,” I said softly.
“Please Jack I don’t want to be alone tonight. I don’t want you to go.”
My mobile phone rang. And then Nicole let go of me. It was Sarah, which meant we were good to go. I had a moment of doubt then. I was caught between two worlds. And I was right in the middle with neither choice playing to my favour. If I stayed with my wife, I knew I’d regret not being there tonight for as long as I lived. I wanted to be part of what took them down. For Jess. But my wife needed me and I felt like a horrible person for wanting to leave. But it isn’t always a simple choice when you’re married. And not in a city like this. The only thought that coursed through my mind was the idea of Jess growing up in a decent place if the mob was gone, or at least if there was a big dent in them. If I had the money I would have taken my family and started a new life elsewhere a long time ago. But life wasn’t that generous. And here I was.
“I have to go now.”
Nicole stared at the floor.
“I love you,” I said.
“You too,” she whispered.
It pained me to see that there was no pride in my wife’s eyes at this moment. I had imagined this whole thing differently. But reality has a way of showing you how deluded you are; what a stranger you are to the actual truth. And that truth was rooted in the disappointment in Nicole’s eyes. I turned around and slowly walked out of my house feeling down. But it was just one more night. I was sure about this. I turned back and I saw Jess looking at me from the window. I smiled, overwhelming love filling me up inside as I waved at my little girl. The smile left me as quickly as it had come when I saw the sad look on her face. She waved back unhappily. And I felt it right in my core. I almost didn’t want to leave anymore. But I had to. It was just one last night. And we’d win. I climbed into my car, breathed in deeply and gunned the engine. The final remnants of my euphoria had finally escaped me.
The five of us pulled up ways down from the warehouse. The night was eerily quiet. There were no signs of life. Sarah had showed the group pictures of the inside to help them familiarise themselves with the layout and what to expect. It was almost time.
“Fields you’re with me and Jack. Coleman and Harding you two are backup. No one goes into or comes out of that warehouse unless it’s us,” Sarah ordered.
“Come on, boss, really? I wanted to see inside the place,” Coleman complained.
Sarah glared at him and he shrugged.
“We need you two out here,” I intervened, “We don’t know if they have any means of communicating for backup in there or how many people run this operation. We need eyes on the outside while we’re in there so we don’t get any surprise visitors.”
“Fair enough,” Coleman sighed.
“Don’t take it lightly. Our asses depend on your eyes being out here,” Marcus said.
“You’re going into a surveillance room not the mob headquarters,” Coleman muttered.
“I wouldn’t speak too soon if I were you.”
Will remained quiet, but he nodded to show he understood the instructions.
“It’s time,” Sarah said.
I drew my weapon. There was a miniature flashlight attached to the bottom of the barrel. We had all fitted our guns with them. Myself, Sarah and Marcus climbed out of the SUV and silently approached the warehouse. The lock was still broken from our last visit and I doubted that they would have noticed considering there was a back and side entrance to this place that were both a lot more conspicuous than out here in the open. The people inside had most likely just fitted the outside with new locks and chains to ensure no kids tried to sneak in to fool around. I was highly anxious tonight. My pulse was racing. It was the fact that we were so close that every second felt like an endless struggle to get through. But adrenaline ensured that time raced by all the same. In moments we were inside. This time we were far more cautious about the sound we made. Sure our flashlights stood the chance to easily give us away in the darkness,
but I knew that the room at the back was quite isolated and whoever was in there wouldn’t be able to notice the beams of light. Our main concern was anyone who wasn’t in the room; anyone who was out in the same area that we were in.
We were in a triangle formation. I took point at the front while Sarah and Marcus followed behind me. Our steps were slow and soundless. I made sure I kept the beam of my flashlight slightly angled to the ground. It felt like an eternity before we reached the room at the back. It was oddly quiet. Had we come too late, or had they not arrived yet? I steeled my resolve. We’d have to wait around for as long as it took. We needed to plug their whole operation. Sarah motioned to me to take a look and see if anyone was there. I took a deep breath. I couldn’t afford to be seen. I braced myself and slowly shuffled towards the entrance of the room, remaining glued to the walls. I counted down and turned in to look. Shock burst through my entire body, overwhelming me. My hands dropped limp to my sides. I could not believe what I saw.
It was all gone.
Everything. Not a speck remained to give any indication that anything had ever been there. I loudly stumbled into the room no longer caring about the noise I made. Sarah swore and followed me in and soon she and Marcus were there to see the emptiness. A void. How was it possible? They could not have possibly known we were coming. I balled my hands into fists. My blood boiled. Anger took hold of me. I savagely launched a kick at a nearby table and it tumbled and crashed loudly on the ground. Sarah hissed at me to keep control of myself.
“It’s over. They win. We have no way to track whatever was here. We’ve got nothing.”
I looked over the empty room, feeling a crushing weight descending down upon me from above. I had imagined it over and over again in my mind. Busting this whole operation and walking away victorious. I was as naive as I was a fool. Now I really was done. What would Nicole think? I was almost reluctant to go home. I would take my failure with me. Sarah was expressionless as she stared at nothing, but I could see it too in her eyes.
We had lost.
I was in my room laying above the covers on my bed. I was still in the same clothes that I had worn an hour ago at the warehouse. I had my hands on my midsection and I barely moved as I stared blankly at the ceiling. Nicole had not said a word to me after I had briefly shaken my head and quietly escaped to the comfort of the bedroom. I felt that she knew that this meant I wasn’t done with everything. But I truly felt as though I was. I was done. I had to be.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Nicole eventually asked.
“No,” I replied softly, unable to hide the disappointment, sadness and frustration in my voice even in that one word.
She gently put her hand over mine. It felt good. Reassuring. I remained still and said nothing else. I found it hard to believe that she was still trying to make me feel better. After everything I had done against her wishes. She was far too good for me. I was just a stubborn failure. I didn’t want to talk about what had happened, but I felt the need to explain myself to my wife. To just make her understand.
“I have these dreams, Nicole. This feeling of dread that one day Jess is going to grow up and it’s going to be in this city. This awful place. And it’s going to take away what’s beautiful about her. God, I wake up in tears. I don’t want my little girl to go through what we do. I don’t want this life for her. I want something better.”
Nicole didn’t say anything, but she squeezed my hand and held me all the same. For a long time we stayed that way, until I finally manned up enough to say that I was sorry for everything. But it was too late. She had already nodded off to sleep. I kissed her forehead and held her gently, closing my eyes.
The next few days passed by unceremoniously and bore little importance. I was frustrated. I was working late nights again. I had told Sarah that I thought it was better if I was not involved in the rabbit hole that I had been. She hadn’t been too happy about that, but it didn’t seem like she had much energy to argue after the only lead we had had went down the drain. I no longer felt much attachment or enthusiasm towards the police. The euphoria was gone. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this line of work after all. Maybe I had just overestimated myself. Tonight was a particularly late one and I was tired, bored and restless. I decided to call it. I had to get home at some point. And the longer I remained here the more I risked drowning.
The drive back was slow and felt dragged out. I just wanted to get into bed and talk to my wife for a while. I wanted to talk about her, her day and what was on her mind. Lately it felt like too much focus had been on me. I had not been the best of husbands. I realised with guilt that I did not even know how her work had been recently. I had barely even asked. But Nicole wasn’t the only person I had catching up to do with. I also wanted to spend some quality time with Jess. I owed my little girl quite a bit. I smiled as I thought about all the stories and kids movies I probably had in debt by now. She would ensure I paid it all off.
I sighed. I needed to be with Nicole more. I wanted to be. Maybe we could go away for the weekend. It would be great to just relax and do something nice for a change. It would be a godsend to get away from this place. Maybe we could have a family picnic. I almost laughed out loud to myself then. She’d probably say picnics were a cliché, and ask me if we were really going to be one of those couples who tried to show the world how romantic and just-like-the-movies we were. Of course she’d be joking as I knew she loved her walks on the beach and all that, but it would be something she’d say anyway.
I remembered the last time we did something like that. It was a long time ago, probably before Jess. When you had a kid it usually changed everything for you. Kids brought an amazing amount of joy to your lives, but they also transformed a marriage and the time you got with your spouse. It could be the makings of your relationship in which you’d both mature so much, or it could be the downfall if you drifted apart and weren’t ready for the job. Luckily Nicole and I had always been. We’d always been the best of friends. But I knew that lately I had not been that to her and it wasn’t fair. Maybe going away for a weekend would be a good thing after all. I’d suggest it to Nicole when I got home. Anything that we could just do as a family to get away from all this for a while would do us all some good. Especially me, I admitted to myself. Thinking about it uplifted my spirits.
I pulled up in my drive way ten minutes later and got out of the car, stretching as I began my walk towards the front door. I was already smiling. Nothing made me happier than my family. I was excited to see my wife and daughter on better terms. They were usually the cure I looked for after a day like this. And tonight I would not even speak a word about work. It would just be about them. I quickened my pace and got to the door. I reached for the handle. I froze.
The door was ajar.
I frowned. Nicole never left the door unlocked. In my city that was madness.We had always been careful with this. Surely that was extremely irresponsible of her? Relentlessly my heart started to pound and my gut began to constrict. At that moment I could not explain the feeling that began to seep into my bones. It was like the feeling you got when you were about to walk in on something you know you didn’t want to see, but you walked right in anyway because curiosity was like an addictive poison. I felt dread. It spread through my body like an icy chill. My head felt faint. My hand gripped the doorknob. My mind started to wander to places I did not permit it to go.
I pushed open the door.
All that greeted me was the darkness. An empty silence. Slowly, with haunted steps, I walked inside. And I began to feel fear. I entered with a feeling of uncontrollable dread, and I did not know why. All I knew was that I was compelled to move. The air grew thicker as I stepped into the blackness. And the dread took hold. It pulled me down into its abyss, claiming me as its own. I stopped breathing. I dragged my feet wishing to all hell that something, anything, would prevent me from going any further. But that was a kindness I was never going to get. And so I reached for my gun, and descended int
o the darkness.
