by Azhar Amien
Chapter 13: In This Time Of Dying
I was neither dead nor alive. Most people did not understand what it truly meant to drown. It was terrifying. It was maddening. It was a horrible death. It was pure, unrelenting agony. And before I had faded I saw things. I saw things in the darkness. I had dreams, but the dreams turned mad. Beneath the depths there was a roaring in my ears. A crushing pain in my chest. There was a howling like the wind. The darkness that dwelled here was infinite. The world had gone silent.
I opened my eyes. I faced the cold; it burned my skin. There was nothing but desertion here. The streets were empty. I called out; my echo was the only voice that called back. My shadow was the only companion that I had. The rain fell harder. I walked the ghost street and awakened my senses to all that was buried within. Surely I had come to see something in this dead place. I turned a corner and I found myself at a crossroad. I glimpsed something in its centre in the distance. It was a heap on the ground. I began to approach it as if drawn by it. I stopped in front of it. Shock hit my system. My mind shut down. I froze in place.
I saw my family.
Nicole was dead. I could see the marks the blade had made on her skin. Her hand laid on the ground, overstretched towards the figure of a small girl. A girl who was unrecognisable. Her skin had been burnt away. She was just a body. But in her charred hand was a white teddy bear clutching a red heart to its chest. I shut my eyes and grabbed at my head, fighting for a comfort I would not get. I wanted to be out of here. I didn’t want to see this. I didn’t want this pain. There was no mercy for men like me. Where was the beast now? Where was the one who helped me be free of the agony I faced in my moments of clarity?
When I reopened my eyes the bodies were gone. I stared. My heart beat in a violent rush and my mind was in jagged pieces. What was happening? I suddenly heard a loud gust of wind from above. I looked up. I could not believe my eyes. An enormous creature flew above me. It had great big wings. It soared through the air with a grace I had never seen in all my life. It braced against the harsh rain, and swept past the stormy clouds and the icy air. It struggled, but the creature was free. No. Not a creature. A man. He went for the clouds. He ascended. I watched in wonder. He reached his peak at the sea of clouds. He thrust his wings emphatically. Miraculously the clouds parted.
The sun broke free.
The light burst through. His cries were ghastly. I had never before heard such agony in a man’s voice. I watched in horror as he erupted into a ball of flame, and plummeted towards the earth in a brilliant burst of light. There was a single moment then, where the trailing fire was magnificent, that I felt fear. The impact was extraordinary. He hit the waters. He went under. I waited to see him surface, but he never did. I felt the loss, yet I did not know why.
I felt a sudden burning in my chest then. Abruptly my breaths started to catch in my throat. It felt as though I was being strangled by some invisible force. I began to choke. I collapsed to my knees and my hands fell flat onto the hard ground. I coughed. And I threw up.
It was water.
I stared, confused. Lightning struck. The rain became a torrent. It became vicious. A flood burst through the city and engulfed it whole. I cried for help as I was caught in the great wave and violently thrown around. I lost all control. I was at the mercy of a power far greater than my own. I felt fear more potent than I could have imagined. I prayed that my body would survive the onslaught.
But in moments the chaos had ended. I hit something hard. There was a calm sense of floating. I opened my eyes. I screamed. Air bubbles burst from my mouth. The entire city was submerged, and I was drowning. The surface was miles above my head. I tried to swim towards it. My body felt heavy. I looked down. There was an anchor attached to my leg. I panicked. I thrashed. I fought. The world started to go dark. My body started to lose all strength. My mind collapsed. And then, in the moment before I surrendered to despair, I saw it in the waters.
It was not the beast.
I did not recognise it, yet it approached me as though I were a friend. A massive shadow. Its eyes were white. Its hands were like claws. Its teeth were sharper than swords. It had a ghastly grin. It was far more terrifying than anything I had ever seen. It wanted me, and I could not escape. The shadow embraced me. I saw darkness. My struggle ended.
I jerked awake. I was miraculously alive. The drowned city was gone. The wraith-like shadow was gone. My vision came into focus, and I was seated at a table. My breath caught in my throat. It was impossible.
Jess was right in front of me.
“I missed you, darling,” a sweet voice said to my right.
I turned. And there was Nicole. She smiled at me. She gently touched my hand. It felt incredible. My eyes began to tear.
“I’m so sorry my love...” I whispered.
“It’s over now,” she said.
“There’s so much I want to tell you.”
“Let’s just enjoy this moment,” she said, putting a finger to my lips.
“But-”
“Please.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Jack, just leave it alone.”
“Nicole, what’s wrong?”
Her expression turned cold. Her grip on my wrist became like a vice. I stared at her. She yanked my arm ferociously, but it suddenly rattled along with my whole body as it failed to move more than a few inches. My hands were chained to the table.
“What the hell is this?” I shouted.
“You left us to die, Jack...”
Nicole’s voice was like a faint whisper. My heart crushed.
“No, no don’t say that. I never meant-”
“To what?”
“I never meant for any of this to happen.”
“But it did. And after they killed me, you couldn’t even save Jess! Your own daughter!”
My hands balled into fists. Rage unlike anything I had ever felt before swept through me.
“Look at you. You’re not my husband. You’re a murderer. I don’t even recognise you.”
I saw Jess’ sad expression. My rage subsided instantly.
“Baby, don’t listen to her. I did all this for you. I tried to save you!”
“No daddy, you did this for you. You wanted them to be scared of you. You wanted them all dead. And you enjoyed it.”
Nicole rose from the table. She went over to the counter beside us and picked up a metal basin.
“It’s time, Jack.”
“Time for what?”
She returned and placed it in front of me. I recoiled.
It was filled with water.
I thrashed in my chair, but the chains held.
Jess looked at me with hopeful eyes.
Nicole slid her hand up the back of my neck.
“I want my husband back.”
I looked at her. A tear rolled down my cheek. I knew the truth.
“I died with you.”
Nicole’s eyes glistened.
“Then there’s nothing more to say. Goodbye, my love.”
She pushed my head down into the water.
I struggled. I fought. But I was drowning. And I faced despair once again. My body gave in. Jack Mercer was dead. The beast was dead. There was nothing left that could give me life. I waited for the inevitable. In the silence, there was a moment of absolution. I heard it then. It was immense. It shook the world. There was a gigantic roar as the wraith rose again, from the ashes of despair, and finally took control. I was liberated from all weakness. Everything turned white.
I slowly opened my eyes. The world, everything, was a blur. My body felt twice as heavy. I just saw a white glare. The fierce light blinded me. I heard myself breathe. I felt my heart beat, slow and laboured. It was impossible, but it was real. It was not a nightmare.
I was alive.
I heard the beep of a machine. I was in a bed. That much I knew. Scene by scene, the world came into focus. I was in a hospital. And I was breathing. I did not understand a
ny of it. By all accounts I should have been dead. I had drowned. I knew that. I had sunk to the bottom of the ocean. It had not been very deep. Or maybe that was just because the weight attached to my leg had made me reach the bottom faster. I felt a wave of discomfort wash over me. I graciously took breaths, trying not to let my memory return of drowning. I tried to speak, but my voice failed me. It was raspy and decrepit. I felt a burning in my chest; constant and painful. Whoever had fished me out of the water had known what to do. In most drowning cases, the victim was not out of trouble as soon as they began to breathe and spit out any swallowed water. In fact the first forty-eight hours after a drowning incident could actually be the most dangerous. Complications resulting from water exposure such as pneumonia, infection or heart failure could all occur during the recovery period immediately after. I did not know how long I had been out for. I just felt horrible. My chest felt so tight. I felt so weak. I turned to my side. My heart sank.
Seated on a chair beside my bed, dozed off, was Sarah.
I tried to sit up. My hand caught. I shook it, confused. I blinked. I realised that I was cuffed to the bed. I closed my eyes. It was worse than death. But seeing Sarah again brought joy as much as it did fear. I had no way of knowing what she thought of me. She was aware of all that I had done. I didn’t know the first thing I’d say to her. At the same time, however, I needed to find out what had happened. I needed to know how much time had passed. And more importantly I needed to know what had happened to Anthony Cornero. If I had been rescued, it had to have been within seconds or minutes after I had taken the tumble into the ocean. Did that mean they’d got him? I had to find out. I needed Sarah for that. I weakly reached over to the bedside table, and swept come containers off it. They clattered to the floor and Sarah started awake. My heart began to hammer.
She stared at me, as if she could not quite believe that I was awake. Under different circumstances I would have cracked a lame joke. But I was not that man anymore. And by the looks of it, she didn’t view me the same either. Neither of us spoke. I looked at the door. There were no reporters waiting outside, no other police officers or any kind of extra security at all. There were no other patients in my room either, which told me that I was in a private space. I knew what that meant.
“You kept all of this a secret then,” I whispered.
It took her time to find her voice, “What else was I supposed to do?”
More silence.
“I’m sorry,” I breathed.
“Is that all you’re going to say to me?”
I didn’t speak further. How could I?
“You know I spent days crying. I spent nights confused and hurt wondering how you could lie to me and do the things that you did. I never thought that I could be like this. I really didn’t think there was anything that could affect me this much...” she broke off, and after a moment she exhaled and went on, “I’ve been worried out of my mind. I’ve been thinking about all the things that I would tell you if I ever saw you again...and now I don’t even know what to say to you.”
I looked at her, truly looked at her. She looked haunted. What I saw was not the Sarah that I knew. She was broken. She was in pain. And she was lost. I knew how she felt. In that moment I felt guilt for something other than my family. And it hurt.
“How did you know where to find me, Sarah? No one knew that I was there.”
A worried, even scared, expression set over her face.
“Someone did, Jack.”
“What do you mean?”
“I got a phone call. There was a man on the other end of the line. He knew my name. He told me that if I cared about you I wouldn’t hang up or trust the police with what he was about to tell me. He told me that Cornero was going to kill you, and I had little time left to stop it.”
I stared. What the hell was going on? Was it the same person who had warned me against the coming assassins? It had to be. I could see no other explanation. Sarah seemed to believe that it had been a man. Perhaps she didn’t feel it was a woman’s work. I had got the same impression. The fact that both of us believed it was a man was good enough for me.
“I got there as fast as I could. I brought Marcus and I brought divers. It was at the docks, and I knew if Cornero had you...it was you who told me that his signature was drowning. I was so scared. If I had got there a few minutes later...”
She broke off and coughed.
“What happened to Cornero?”
“He was gone by the time I got there, Jack. We got his two men. They were just waiting there, like they were making sure you were dead. But they won’t admit to anything. They won’t give up their boss.”
Cornero had slipped through the cracks. But how? He couldn’t have just vanished. We’d been on the damn bridge. But as much as it frustrated me, I knew that it wasn’t important presently. It was time to ask the question that was nagging at my mind. I had to confirm it.
“Sarah, did this man on the phone sound like he was using a voice changer?”
She frowned, “How did you know? I didn’t tell you that.”
I sighed.
“Did you hear about an explosion at a motel?”
“Yes.”
“Moments before it happened I got a call from that same man. He told me that three men were coming to kill me.”
Sarah gasped.
“This man is your anonymous source. He’s a player in this game, but we have no idea who the hell he is. But going on what we know it does seem like he’s trying to help us.”
“Jack, at one point I thought you were the source. I thought you had sent me the information on Donovan after...”
She stopped again, and I saw her rub a tear away from her eye. She was trying really hard not to think about the fact that I had killed all those men. It was there, out in the open; a wall between us.
“No. Did you get anything on the others?”
“Yes. The source, this man, gave us everything on Paul Castellano, and Luis Kane. Castellano’s reputation was destroyed after the story about the girl in his bedroom got out, among many other shady practices involving the mob’s money. It’s quite a rap sheet. We also got information on some of the young girls Castellano has shared company with before. Some of them had been listed as missing persons for nearly two years. We managed to track down some of them. We’re still working on the rest, but thanks to the source we’re putting an end to everything that Castellano had held in secret.”
“What about Kane?”
“Jack, this source had eyes on everything. He uncovered every piece of dirt on Kane. Luis Kane is - or was - the largest distributor of drugs in this city. He practically ran an empire. He was the kingpin. Buying, selling, moving, it all happened under him and his control. At least, it’s past tense now. The source gave up their meeting places, their products, their methods and their names. We shut it down, all of it. We were even able to put a stop to some of his prostitution rings and gangs.”
“Just how long have I been out exactly?”
“Nearly two days.”
I cursed silently. It couldn’t be helped now. I was impressed at how the media had reported on none of it. The police had done a good job of keeping up a massive shroud of secrecy. At least I knew where Kane had fit in to the picture. But the anonymous source didn’t make any sense to me. I had so many questions. How could he have had access to the kind of information he’d been dishing out? Why had he waited so long to reveal any of it? And why was he helping us - what was his part to play? And the most burning question of all was regarding how long he was he going to remain on our side. I had nothing to go on. Whoever the man was who had all the dirt on the mob, he was either a powerful ally or our most dangerous enemy. Yet he was a ghost.
“Jack.”
I looked at her.
“Did you...”
“I think you already know the answer to whatever it is you’re about to ask.”
“You killed Will Harding the night you went missing.”
I said nothing.
“That text message. Was it from the source as well, or you?”
I stared at the ceiling as if my silence would spare me from it all.
“Sarah, I don’t know what you want me to say. If you know what I’ve done, then you also know why I did it. Why I had to.”
I turned to face her. She looked at me with anger, yet she was also close to tears again.
“Jess is dead! Me, I’m alive and I’m here. You left me to chase a ghost! You murdered...”
She put her face into her hands and went silent. When she took them away I could see that she was finally crying.
“I know the system failed us...and I failed you. But there had to be a better way Jack; there had to be a better way than this. A better way than you becoming just like them.”
“I’m nothing like them.”
“Why didn’t you accept my help?”
“Jess is alive, Sarah. I know it.”
“Please don’t do this. There has to be a way that you can come back from this.”
She was fooling herself. I would never come back from it. There was no chance of that. There had been no chance since the moment I had made the choice to kill.
“Sarah.”
She bit her lip again.
“I found proof that she’s alive.”
Her mouth opened.
“At Kane’s house. I found her white teddy bear. Jess’ favourite one. It was hers.”
She looked at me as though I was mad.
“For God’s sake, I’m not crazy! It even had the exact same chewed-up ear. Jess used to bite on it constantly. I must have seen her do it hundreds of times.”
She didn’t say anything.
“Sarah, you have to let me go. I have to find her.”
“What?”
“You just have to let me go. Please.”
Sarah was choking up now.
“Jack, you’re sick. You need help. You need to stay here.”
I felt the anger start to emerge. And I gave into it.
“If there is even a one percent chance that Jess is still alive, I will tear this entire goddamn city down until I find her. I will kill everyone who stands between me and my daughter. You think I’m crazy? I have clarity now. And you see it too. This city, its people, they cheer each time one of these animals fall. They breathe easier now when the sun rises. Understand this, Sarah: there is nothing that I won’t do to get my daughter back.”
The look that she gave me in that moment, I knew that I would take it to my grave.
“I don’t know who you are...”
“I am a father who will do anything, become anything, for my little girl. I have seen this city’s real face, and it’s nothing but pain. I’ve finally learned what I have to become to stop men like Cornero. Mercy and justice are weaknesses I can’t afford; mistakes I will never make again. We both know that your way can never work, Sarah.”
“Please don’t do this, Jack...”
Her pleas were desperate, yet helpless. I choked, feeling the anger fade as quickly as it had come.
“I know I can’t prove that she’s alive. But it is all that I have left.”
“You had me,” she whispered.
I said nothing. I instinctively reached for my hand, and felt that my wedding ring was still there. I was numb. I didn’t feel alive.
“Sarah...”
She looked at me. Her expression was vacant; broken.
“Without you I would never have made it through everything after Nicole. I owe you so much. But this is about my daughter. It’s about Jess. Please, I’m begging you...”
I paused. She didn’t speak.
“I’m begging you to let me go.”
She looked away, “How could you possibly think I’d do that? Knowing what you did, what you will do...”
I closed my eyes and fought back tears.
“I need to get out of here...”
She coughed and tried to pull herself together as she rose from her chair and walked towards the door. She pulled it open and stepped out. The curtains closed. The silence returned. And I was, truly, alone.
I laid awake in the darkness. Sarah had not yet returned. I had tried removing the handcuffs on my wrist, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I was frustrated. I needed to get moving. I was so close now. But I could not deny that the rest felt good - it felt needed and long overdue. My body was still weak and recovering. My mind had not yet entertained the possibility that I was done. I refused to allow it. For now I needed to regain my strength, and then I needed to figure out how to escape my newfound captivity. I almost laughed at the joke. I had gone from one pair of restraints to the next. The only difference was that my destination was not an ocean, but a cell. A padded one.
I thought about Anthony Cornero, and my blood burned. Because of him I had almost died. Jess would have never known. My face started to feel hot. My mind returned to the drowning. My memory made me revisit suffocating under all that water as I fought to reach the surface, but could not. I tossed and turned, fighting to get the invasive thoughts out of my mind. I knew that I was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder - it wasn’t the first time. My mind could not process the horror of what I had experienced. My hands gripped the bed hard and my breath caught in my throat. I shut my eyes tight. I focused on my breathing. I inhaled and exhaled; repeatedly and slowly. I told myself that I was out of the water. I told myself that I could breathe. I told myself over and over again that I was alive. And slowly the tension and stress was relieved. I began to fill my mind with images of Jess. There was a calming feeling in me now, and I took it in. I kept my eyes closed and let myself drift. Soon enough I had fallen into a deep sleep.
I awoke to morning light, and Sarah calling out to me. I heard heavy rain outside. It was cold in my room. I looked at Sarah while rubbing the sleep from my eyes with my free hand. I felt far better than the previous night. I had a lot of my strength back. But not all.
“Jack,” Sarah said, and I could hear that there was no warmth in her tone from that one word.
I waited as my heartbeat began to pick up pace.
“It’s time to go.”
“Where?”
“I’m taking you in. After that I don’t know what will happen.”
My heart sank.
“Sarah...”
She looked down at the floor.
“Look at me.”
She didn’t move.
“Please. Please don’t do this.”
Her eyes met mine.
“You have to let me go. I’m so close to Jess...”
“I can’t. And I won’t.”
The anger returned. The stress returned. I could not believe it. I could not believe her. It was cruel. I had come so close. And now I was going to rot in some prison cell or asylum while my daughter was still out there? I refused to accept it. It was a fate worse than death.
“You should have let me die in that ocean,” I spat.
She didn’t respond. She moved towards the wardrobe and grabbed a grey shirt, jeans and shoes. She tossed them at me.
“Get dressed.”
I listened and obeyed in silence. I dressed awkwardly with one of my hands restrained. It took a few minutes. When I was done she put her hand on the railing of my bed.
“I’m going to take those handcuffs off, and then I’m going to ask you to stand and put your arms out in front of you. I’m asking you to please cooperate. I really don’t want to call security on you or let this get out of control.”
She moved towards my restrained hand. She had the key.
I went into a panic.
I could not go with her. I could not leave the room knowing that all that was waiting for me was a dark interview room and either a prison or asylum after that. My daughter needed me. How could Sarah not understand? Fuck the people I’d killed. Fuck them all. They had deserved to die. The city was far better off without them. I was doing good. I was helping. Mo
re than her. I thought of Jess. Sarah put the key into the lock and turned it. The handcuffs clicked open. She took them.
“Please get up, Jack.”
She backed away one step and put her hand onto her gun holster. I slowly rose from the bed and put my legs onto the ground. I was on my feet. Sarah commanded me to put my arms out in front of me. I obeyed. She took a step towards me. And I knew that there was no other way. I wished to God that it didn’t have to be like this. But it did. I had no choice. If I let her cuff me it was all over. Jess would never know that I loved her with all my heart and that I had done all of this for her. She’d be all alone. She wouldn’t be safe. She wouldn’t get to live her life. Her beautiful life was still so open to her. She was so young. And then there was Cornero. He’d get away with it. He’d get away with all of it. I would not let that happen. I could not. I hated myself, with every inch of my being, for what I was about to do.
Forgive me.
Her hand touched mine. There was a moment then where I was uncertain. She was more than a friend to me. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We needed each other. Then my hand brushed against the steel.
The demon broke free from its shackles.
I moved with a fury. I swiped the cuffs out of her grip with a vicious backhanded strike. Sarah recoiled in shock. But she could not react in time. As fast as lightning I threw out my hand and grabbed her throat, and she gasped as the wind was knocked out of her. I put all my weight into it, and my leg was already moving to kick hers out from underneath her. She slammed into the ground with a heavy impact - harder than I had anticipated. The back of her head hit the ground with a jolt, and I heard the loud thud. Panic flooded my mind.
I launched myself from the ground and charged towards the door. Please God, don’t let her be hurt. I had no way of knowing. She looked like she had been dazed. It didn’t appear that she had sustained any severe injury. But I wanted to cry. I felt so terrible; so ashamed.
“Hey!” a booming voice called out to me.
I turned. Two police officers had been standing outside of my door. They stared at me. I broke into a run. They barked orders at me. I heard one of them yell into their radio. He shouted at his partner to check on Sarah. Medical staff stared, confused and startled. Chaos erupted. I spotted an elevator at the end of the hallway. It opened. Three nurses and a doctor stepped out. I charged and barged hospital staff out of my way as hard as I could. It loomed closer. I was going to make it. I rushed past them and lurched forward to hit the ground floor button on the control panel inside the elevator. The officer was still running towards me. He was getting closer. I hit the button to close the doors. He was almost onto me. The elevator door was nearly closed. The gap grew smaller. I shook my leg, partly from nerves and partly to wake my limbs up further. I was going to get away. Then the officer threw himself forward and caught the door with his hand.
It started to open.
I panicked. I had to act fast. Before he could. I flattened my hand and threw out a knife strike to his throat. But I was still weak and slow. He reared back and avoided it. He countered and struck me in the shoulder blade. I gritted my teeth in agony and knew then that I had temporarily lost my left arm. The doors were fully open now. I tensed. He was about to put me into an arm lock. I was not going to give him the chance. I growled, brought my stronger right hand back and went for a kidney shot, giving it everything that I had. He was unprepared. I made a solid connection and he screamed in pain. In a flash I jumped to my feet, shoved him hard, stepped forward and slammed my foot into the tender area of his leg just above his ankle. He staggered and dropped low as he howled. I wasted no time. I brought my fist in again with tremendous force, hitting him square in the temple. His head jerked sideways and he dropped instantly. He was out of it, his eyes dazed.
I was breathing hard. I had exerted far more energy than I would have had I been at my peak. Hospital staff ran screaming. I heard one call for security. I couldn’t take the elevator now. If they locked it down I was screwed. I dashed for the stairs. I went as fast as I could, praying that I wouldn’t lose my footing. That would be the end of me. I took a leap on the last few steps and went off running. I jerked as I knocked my already bruised shoulder against the edge of a wall. Clumsy fool. It ached, but I was fine. I only had to focus on my escape. Everything else had to be secondary. I cursed at the damn hospital for being difficult to navigate. I was on the ground floor, but there was an assortment of paths I could take. I spotted a cleaning lady. I rushed over to her, hoping she was not clueless.
“Excuse me, could you please tell me where the exit is?”
She gave me a once over, and to my relief pointed behind me and instructed me to take a left after that. I thanked her and ran out. I couldn’t put an exact number on how many minutes I had used up getting down. I could only hope that the police’s backup had not yet arrived. But I would deal with that if it came to it. They weren’t just going to shoot me after all. I followed the instructions I was given and almost broke into a smile when I saw the reception desk. The exit loomed ahead of me. No one gave me a second look. That was curious. I had expected at least the hospital to be informed by now. Was I just lucky then?
A sound as loud as a gunshot went off.
I instinctively ducked. Panic erupted and I heard screams and shouts nearby. I realised that it was coming from outside. What was going on? More shots went off. It was definitely gunfire. I bolted for the exit. I emerged out in the open. My body froze as I took the scene in. There was a large, black SUV on the opposite end of the street. Four men in ski masks were firing at multiple squad cars. Their sirens were glowing in the morning light. The police returned fire, ducking behind their vehicles to avoid the oncoming siege of bullets. What the hell was this? But I made the connection in a second, and with a jolt I realised. It was the mob. They had come to kill me. It had to be that. But how could they have possibly known that I was alive?
Then one of them saw me.
There was a moment where his eyes were on mine. I expected his gun to turn to me. But he didn’t do a thing. He ignored me. I knew then that as much as I wanted answers, I couldn’t stand around wasting the opportunity I now had. Whoever the hell they were, they were keeping the police busy and away from me. The army of squad cars would have made sure that I would have never made it out. I took off running to my right, ducking low to avoid any stray bullets.
I was certain that one of the men had seen me. He had looked me straight in the eye. If I had been his real target he wouldn’t have thrown that golden opportunity to put a bullet in me. I had been completely exposed. I looked over my shoulder. None of the cars had followed me. Surely the SUV could have powered through and caught up with me. I’d have been completely defenceless. But I was as free as the rain. None of it made any goddamn sense. I had no other option but to force it all out of my mind and focus on getting away. I wasn’t in the clear yet. I needed to get as far away as possible.
I spotted a taxi in the distance. I ran towards it, calling out and waving my arm. I saw it stop. I climbed inside and collapsed back against the seat. The driver asked me where I wanted to go. I had no choice about that. I gave him the address of Luis Kane’s home. I had to get back what I’d lost. I hoped to God that my car was still there. The driver nodded and gunned the engine, and I was gone.
I told the driver to wait. I rushed over to my car. I was relieved to see that it was still there. It was in a legitimate parking spot, so there would have been no reason to tow it, especially since it had not been stationary for that long. No one paid any kind of attention to parked cars anyway unless they were in suspicious spots or unoccupied for more than a few days. However I knew that even then it was unlikely that anything would be reported. Most people didn’t care. For once it was better for me that way. But the car being there was one thing. All I cared about were my belongings. Without them I surely was screwed.
I spoke a silent prayer as I reached the passenger seat. I opened
the door. I knew that I had left it unlocked. I saw my ski mask on the passenger seat. I lifted it. And there were my keys and wallet. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply in relief. The rest of my money was in my bag in the boot. I dashed back to the taxi driver and paid him the bill. He thanked me and left. I opened the back. It was early in the morning so there weren’t a whole lot of people around. I didn’t care much for decency right now. In all the adrenaline, I had not even realised how cold I was. My body was numb. I shivered as I fished out a coat from my bag and slipped it on. The jeans and shoes I had on were good enough. I ruffled through my bag, searching for what I really wanted. My hands found it.
I pulled out the SIG Pro semi-automatic pistol.
The gun’s weight felt good in my hands. I had lost my suppressor and my Glock, but I couldn’t change that now and I didn’t have the time to build a new one. I would have to make do. At least I had a weapon. I checked the magazine. It was fully loaded with all twelve rounds. I studied the weapon more closely. It was black and overbearing. I recognised it as the SP 2022 variant of the Sig Pro series of pistols, which was a modified version of the SP 2009 and 2340 models. If my memory was correct the SIG Pro 2022 was fitted with an integral Picatinny rail - or tactical rail - instead of the proprietary rail found in other models, which allowed it to be fitted with attachments. The front trigger guard was shaped differently to its predecessors, allowing for a firm finger hold. I shared a private joke with myself as I thought of how Nicole would have laughed at my knowledge of firearms, finding it creepy.
Unfortunately, I knew that I had to be careful with the weapon I held in my hands. The Sig Pro did not have a manual safety, but it did make use of a de-cocking lever which lowered the hammer without striking the firing pin. It also had additional features like a trigger-bar disconnect, which disconnected the trigger once the slide was out of battery and an automatic firing pin lock, which prevented the freeing of the firing pin until the trigger was depressed. It was certainly a sophisticated model. It was the ideal weapon. The only problem was that I just had the one clip at my disposal. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to risk buying more ammunition. The police would be livid after what had happened at the hospital. I had left them red faced, and I was now priority one.
I ejected the clip and studied the ammunition that I had. The gun was available in 9x19mm, .40 S&W and .357 SIG variants. The weapon I had acquired used .40 S&W ammunition. I knew that that type of ammunition was popular with law enforcement agencies in the US. It had been designed to duplicate the performance of the FBI’s reduced-velocity 10mm Auto cartridge, which definitely meant it was high-end. I wondered again what a lackey like Emilio had been doing with it. The ammunition was renowned for its accuracy, more manageable recoil and more energetic loads. It would serve my purposes. Whoever I pointed the weapon at, their chances of survival were extremely low after a direct hit. I found myself smiling at that. I had been lucky.
The downside however was that the ammunition I currently had on me would not work with the new weapon, which meant I only had the twelve rounds in the magazine to go on. I had to make every shot count. I could not afford to spend money on another gun, and neither could I take the risk to actually go into a shop. Besides I knew that I had to have enough money left over once I found Jess so that I could leave with her.
My only target left was Cornero. And I didn’t need twelve shots to kill him. He was all that was standing between me and my daughter. If there were any complications, I would improvise. My thoughts about the weapon trailed off; nothing more than a distraction. I gripped the gun in my hands. The cold bore down on me. Now, in the silence, my mind focused. It would all end soon. There was only one man left. I thought about what he had done to me. My mind flashed back to the water. I tightened my hold on the weapon as the anger returned.
I thought of Sarah. I thought about what Cornero had forced me to do - what I had done. I had hurt her. I had broken her heart. I had ruined her life. And now I’d forced her to tell yet another lie. She could not reveal to the public that I had escaped. She would have to keep it silent. But I knew that all of it was Cornero’s fault. I loathed him. He had almost made me lose my chance to save Jess. I would not make the same mistake again. I would show him how little his power meant.
I grit my teeth. The beast was gone. There was something new in its place. And it took over, so easily as if I were nothing compared to it. My threads of reason snapped. I would kill whoever was still breathing that had anything to do with my family’s death. I’d kill them all. Cornero’s entire family would die if that’s what it took. Their empires had already crumbled to dust. Their money had burned. Their families had been torn apart. But I was not done yet. I had made a vow a long time ago. I intended to uphold it.
I would make them suffer. I had not forgotten that promise.
The rage threatened to consume me then. And I lowered my guard to it. The demon told me what I had to do; it whispered the ugly truth. I knew that Cornero had no idea that I was coming. He thought that I was dead. In a way I was. But I would make Cornero understand what he had truly done. I was going to cripple the entire mob. I was going to cause Cornero the greatest pain that I possibly could inflict on any person. Only then would he understand what it meant. Only then would he understand the real pain that I lived with every day. Only then would he know to fear me. The demon purred, and the action became necessary.
I was going to kill his son.
It was not the time for weakness. The demon’s instructions were clear. I would torture Cornero with it until his last moments of sanity. Then I would kill him with less respect than I would have given to an insect before I crushed it under my boot. I knew that he thought I was dead. I could spin that in my favour. I’d wear the ski mask when I pulled the trigger. I also knew that Kane and Cornero had been at each other’s throats. Kane might have been dead, but I’d make sure that his ghost haunted Cornero. If he believed that it was a mob hit against his family, a mutiny, he’d react with violence. He’d show me the darkness that he hid so well beneath his facade.
And I’d watch with a smile.
Cornero had sent men into my home to murder my family. He had taken Nicole away from me. He had taken Sarah away from me. He had left me in those waters to drown. A vein popped in my neck. My breathing became heavy. My vision shifted out of focus. I faced absolution. Jack Mercer was truly dead. The demon engulfed what was left. I vaguely saw my reflection in the car window; the wraith glared at me with its eerie white eyes. And I knew what I had to do.
I would kill his son.
Only then could he look me in the eye and know what it felt like. Then he could break. He could feel what it was like to be mortal, weak and vulnerable. He could feel what it was like to be in the shoes of those he trampled. I shut the lid of the boot. I climbed into the driver’s seat. My hands gripped the steering wheel hard enough to turn them white. I struggled to contain all the anger. My mind only knew one thing.
I would make him suffer.
I set my sights on Anthony Cornero. It was time to end it all.
