by Ella Maven
Sherif sank down into a chair while Cravus remained hovering at my feet. Sherif rubbed his forehead, shoulders slumped, before glancing at Karina. “Why is it that she can blank?”
“You know?” I asked.
He nodded. “She did it when we were searching the crashed cruiser.”
Karina fidgeted with her skirt. “I wasn’t sure who they were.”
I rubbed her back. “You did fine.” To Sherif, I said, “We don’t know. She just… can. She has visuls too.”
Sherif eyes glowed as they gazed at her with what felt like a new, respected light. “You do?”
She nodded. “Bosa talks to me. Gives me warnings. On the cruiser, he told me not to walk around the forest without him. And so, when we crashed, I stayed inside which saved me from those… cat-things that you fought.”
He nodded. “The griffs.” Sighing, he scratched his head. “I don’t have a problem with you having a human linyx, I’m only surprised. I don’t want to isolate ourselves the way Varnex did…” his voice trailed off and he hung his head. It wasn’t often he spoke of his father. “But I think I have some of his blood inside me that makes me wary of anyone else.” He peered at me, and this time, his eyes wavered a soft blue. “Be patient with me.”
I sat up with a wince and clasped his hand, bringing it to my chest, over my heartbeat, in the sign of respect for our pardux. “You have brought us out of the shadows so far. I’m okay if we take a little more time until we reach full sun.”
His lips tilted into a small smile. “Never thought I’d see the rotation where Bosa comforted me.”
“I’m a changed warrior.” I stretched my arms over my head. “It’s all thanks to my kotche right here.” I pressed a kiss to her temple.
“Well, your kotche wants you to rest,” she said, shoving me onto my back.
“I’ll send Pruwik up,” Cravus said. He pointed a finger at me. “But you have to deal with his wrath. I don’t want to hear it.”
“I can handle his nagging.” Reaching up, I gripped Karina’s wrist and tugged her on top of me. She fell with a little disgruntled groan. “I’ll be a good patient from now on. Warrior’s honor.” Grinning, I placed my fist over my chest, my index and thumb finger splayed while my other three fingers remained tucked—a Kaluma greeting.
Sherif stood up with a sigh. “He’s still Bosa,” he muttered to Cravus. “He’ll be up and about with Pruwik chasing him in no time.”
“Warrior’s honor, I swear!” I called after them.
I settled back to find Karina glaring at me. “You will listen to everything he says, or you’ll find yourself of zero use to me.”
I laughed until the pain in my shoulder took my breath away.
Sixteen
Karina
Wensla was a little intimidating. She didn’t have human social boundaries, as she stared me directly in the eye and didn’t look away even when I squirmed with unease. She seemed to be studying me, or maybe she was testing me. Either way, I couldn’t tell by her stoic expression whether I passed or not. Now that there was a real possibility I was going to be a permanent resident here rather than a visitor, Wensla’s hospitality shifted. Not that I blamed her.
“So, you and Bosa have bonded? You are his linyx?” Gurla said. She sat beside Wensla, and I’d learned that they were in a mating triad with a male Kaluma. I hadn’t noticed before that Wensla’s stomach was slightly rounded, and I wondered if she was pregnant. No way in hell was I going to ask unless I saw that baby coming out in real time. So, I tried not to stare and instead sat with them on a low bench near their farm fields. In the distance, males and females of all ages worked on the crops.
“We have,” I answered Gurla. “I didn’t really understand what that meant.”
“You have visuls?” Wensla leaned forward, that steady blue gaze still locked on my face.
I nodded with a swallow. “Humans call them dreams, but since I met Bosa, my dreams are different. He’s usually in them, and he’s telling me something important I need to know in the future. I don’t realize it in the dream, but later, I get it.” I explained to them what happened with the chains while we were imprisoned by the Gattrix, and about not venturing into the forest alone.
Gurla showed her emotions easily and gave little gasps a few times as I talked. I also told them I could blank, which made Gurla nearly topple off the bench. Wensla blinked rapidly, but that was the only movement she made until I finished talking. Only then did she lean back and rest a hand on her rounded stomach.
“Do you need something to drink or eat?” Gurla asked her.
Wensla shook her head without looking at the younger female. “Did the dreams start before you took his seed inside of you?”
I almost told her that was none of her business, but that was me projecting my Christian-raised morals onto her, which wasn’t fair. I swallowed. “They did but they were… confusing. Mixed up with my past and present. Once we…” I fidgeted with the skirt they’d lent me and shifted a boob in my tight shirt. “Once we had sex, the dreams became clearer.”
“Sex?”
“Uh, his seed… in me.”
Wensla blew out a breath and finally her face relaxed somewhat. Fine lines eased into the creases of her face, making her look both older and kinder. “That’s something I never would have predicted. Humans are proving to be an adaptable species.”
“What was the other human like that you met?”
For the first time since I met her, a small smile lifted her lips. “Tab.” I remembered now that they’d mentioned that name when I first arrived. “She was mated to a Drixonian. She was fiercely protective of him and quite bold.”
“Was her mate the one who defeated your last pardux?” As soon as I asked the question, I wondered if I should have kept my mouth shut and not brought up their tragic past.
But Wensla didn’t even flinch when she nodded. “He was. Our pardux wanted to keep her, and so the Drixonian challenged him for her. He won and killed our pardux, may he not rest in peace.” Her lip curled for a moment. “Anyway, I admired their affection for each other.”
Gurla bumped their shoulders together and grasped Wensla’s hand. “But not anymore, right?” she asked with a teasing smile. “Because now we have each other and a little one on the way.”
Wensla rubbed her stomach, and I took a leap of faith, saying, “Congratulations.”
I said the right thing, because Wensla’s face lit up. “I thought my time had passed to be a mother. We’re very excited, the three of us.”
“Where’s your other mate?”
“He’s there,” Gurla pointed to a smaller Kaluma male who sat outside of a low-roofed building weaving dried branches into a basket. “Bruk’s very kind and calm. We are really lucky to have him.”
As if Bruk knew they were talking about him, he raised his head and lifted his hand to his chest with his thumb and forefinger out, the rest of his fingers tucked into his fist. The females responded the same way. “What’s that?” I asked, knowing I was going to need to start getting used to the customs.
“It’s how we greet each other,” Gurla said simply. “Usually reserved for those you highly respect.”
I mimicked the gesture to them. “Okay.”
Wensla seemed to appreciate that. She reached for my hand and ran her fingers over my palm. “I admit I was skeptical about welcoming a human into our settlement as a linyx rather than just a guest. Sherif too. It’s still hard for us to accept non-Kaluma.” She sighed. “But we have to make the effort not to isolate ourselves anymore, no matter how terrifying it feels.”
She squeezed my hand before leaning back once again. “I am one of the few Kaluma females who have visuls without a linyx, although they are a little unclear, like yours were at the beginning. I don’t always know how to interpret them until after the event has already occurred. But now I remember one I had about a cycle ago. Maybe less. Bosa was there, and he insisted on guarding an empty hut. I couldn’t understand it at the
time… but now I wonder if it was about you. His human mate who can blank. He was guarding the hut because you were in it.”
“Maybe,” was all I could manage to say. I felt now like I had passed some test, although I hadn’t done anything special. “I understand why you are hesitant to accept outsiders. All I can say is that I will do my best to be a productive member of this settlement, and most of all, I will keep Bosa out of trouble the best I can.”
Wensla laughed, the sound deep and husky. Gurla muffled a giggle from behind her hand. “Good luck with that,” said the older female. She stood and Gurla rose to her side. “Come on, I’ll give you a tour. It’ll be a while before Bosa is up and about.”
“Absolutely,” I said fiercely. “He’s whining nonstop, but I’ll lock him in if I have to. He needs to heal.”
Wensla smiled and patted my shoulder. “I think you’ll fit in nicely here, Karina. I think you’ll fit in just fine.”
Bosa
I wasn’t allowed to leave my hut. I was allowed to use the expeller and cleanser but that was it. All food was delivered to my door, which made me feel worthless. Karina had betrayed me and formed some sort of alliance with Pruwik.
Karina and I spent a lot of time practicing her blanking. It was very dependent on her emotions. She could blank easily when scared or angry, and often had trouble shifting back. But each day she got better.
The twins, Grego and Uthor, visited me often. They didn’t talk a lot, so mostly hovered around my room eating what was left of my food and knocking things over. They were excellent warriors—fast and fierce—and I’d taken them under my wing. They’d been instrumental when we’d helped the Drixonians defeat their enemies, the Uldani. But as regular friends, they were a little awkward. Their parents had long passed, and I often thought they looked up to me as a father, or at least a big brother.
“What do you think of my kotche?” I asked them one day.
Both of them froze and stared at me with wide eyes. Grego looked at Uthor for instructions, and when Uthor just nodded emphatically, Grego followed suit. That was their response—aggressive nodding.
“What does that mean?”
“We don’t know how to answer that,” Uthor finally said.
I knew the way they were, but I still found myself exasperated. “It’s not a hard question.”
“We don’t want to offend you, Bosa.” Grego said.
“Offend… why would you offend me?” I narrowed my eyes. “Do you not like her?”
“We like her very much!” Uthor insisted before elbowing Grego and shooting him a glare. “She’s pretty,” he said in a low voice before ducking his head. “And smiles a lot.”
“She touched my arm the other day,” Grego’s voice was almost breathless.
“She did!” Uthor’s eyes went wide at his brother. “I’m envious.”
“Right here,” Grego said, pointing to his elbow. “With her whole palm.”
I felt like I was in another universe. “Seriously?” I barked at them. I’d been worried they didn’t like her. And it was the oppositive. They were in awe of her.
They both jumped and immediately dropped their heads with guilt. “Sorry, Bosa,” Uthor mumbled.
“Sorry,” Grego echoed.
I couldn’t even be mad at them. Who wouldn’t find Karina attractive? “You don’t need to be sorry. I’m glad you like her. But… don’t touch her.”
“Never!” they shouted in unison.
“You two need off this planet,” I murmured. I waved a hand. “Go. Find something to do. Train.”
They hurried out the door, bumping into each other on the way. I laughed to myself before lumbering out of the bed to stretch my muscles. I hated the way my body felt weaker than it had before I’d been shot. Twice. And then comatose for several rotations. I was completing a pushup when my door opened. I dove for the bed and pulled the furs up to my chin, trying to slow my breathing.
But it wasn’t Karina, it was Gurla holding a tray of food. She gave me a little smirk and set the tray on the table by my bed before sitting down on a chair nearby. “I know you were exercising. You can’t fool me. You can’t fool Karina either, but she’s letting it slide.”
I scowled as I sat up and reached for the food. “I’m going crazy in here.”
“Well, not much longer. Pruwik said maybe another rotation as long as your wounds continue to heal as well as they have been.”
“How are we doing on supplies? How soon can I catch another mission?”
She stared at me. “I’m sorry?”
I shoved a piece of grilled birk meat in my mouth. “A mission. I know the galaxy the best. Sherif can’t leave—”
“Bosa, you aren’t going on any more missions.”
It was my turn to stare at her. “What did you say?”
“You’ll stay here. With Karina. Cravus is already gearing up for a mission—”
“What?” I sucked in a breath and instantly began choking. Slamming my fist against my chest. I coughed before swallowing the unchewed hunk of meat. “But Cravus—”
“Is perfectly capable. I already installed his comm.”
I winced. “Look, I’m sorry I took mine out.”
She waved away my concern. “Karina explained it to me. Don’t worry about it. You made the right decision.”
“Cravus is capable, but he doesn’t have the experience I do.”
“Then he’ll get the experience.”
My leg began to shake as I thought about staying put. Of course, I wanted to remain with Karina, but it’d been so long since I’d been home, and even now I was antsy to do something, to be productive.
“Look,” Gurla said quietly as she leaned forward. “There’s no reason Cravus can’t do your missions. He’s already gone off planet a few times for smaller ones here and there. What’s the real issue, Bosa?”
I stared at her. It wasn’t so long ago that Gurla was a meek juvenile female. But now she was grown up, confident, and so very brave. She was also honest, which was something I hadn’t been. Not with her, and barely with myself.
“I need to feel like I’m doing something. That I’m paying you back.”
Her eyes softened. “Me?”
“The females,” I said quietly. “All of you.”
Her eyes closed, and she leaned back in her chair, her head dropping between her shoulders. Her white hair was plaited in two thick braids. One band was coming loose at the end. I reached out without thinking and tightened it for her. She watched my hands with a trembling lip. I dropped my hands back in my lap and sighed. “I didn’t do enough back then. None of us did. I’ll live with that guilt forever.” I squinted at her. “Don’t you feel angry at me? At us?”
“Sometimes,” she said. “I was spared from Varnex’s abuse because I was still young, but Wensla doesn’t sleep well.” Her fingers twisted in her lap. “I heard what you said to Sherif, that you feel like you have to make up for what was done to us. But you have to remember he abused the males too. He was supposed to be someone you trusted, a leader, and he abused the place of power that you all placed him in.”
“You don’t want to yell at me? Hit me?”
She shook her head, a sad smile on her face. “I want to move on. I want to grow this settlement, and we’ve already come so far. The best thing you can do for us is help us move forward. You need to let go of the guilt, just like we’ve had to let go of the anger. It’ll destroy you, Bosa.” She glanced at my bandaged shoulder. “It nearly did.” She stood up and laid her palm on my head. “You paid up. I’m not keeping score on who owes who. So come back to us, help us farm, grow, and defend our settlement. Let another take on missions for now. That’s what you can do for us.”
I swallowed, her words smoothing over my skin like a waterfall. “I can do that, Gurla.”
She smiled and bounced a little on her toes. “Great. Eat up. Karina will be up soon.” With a small wave, she left me alone with my thoughts and my evaporating guilt. I’d spent a long time m
aking the past about me and my guilt rather than focusing on being there for the females. They didn’t lay with their anger but wanted to rebuild. Sure, sending them credits helped, but they wanted support here at home too. And that was what I planned to do moving forward.
The door opened, and Karina stepped inside. I had to admit I loved the clothes the females had lent her—the traditional slitted Kaluma skirt showed off her shapely legs, and the band across her breasts kept her soft tummy revealed. I wondered if it would ever grow round with my young.
I held out my arms, and she smiled, sinking down on to the edge of the bed. “I saw Gurla leave. Everything all right?”
“We had a good talk,” I said, and gave her a brief summary of our conversation. “I’d been a little selfish in not facing them, hadn’t I?”
She smoothed a hand over my chest. “That’s not entirely wrong. You were all put through something traumatic, and you dealt with it the best way you could at the time.” She sighed. “I doubt therapy is a thing here.”
“Therapy?”
She shook her head. “Never mind. I just mean that yes, you did kind of bolt instead of doing some of the hard work here, but now you’re back. And it’s someone else’s turn to go off planet.”
“I worry about Cravus. He doesn’t try to be friendly.”
Her laugh bounced off the walls. “I think he’ll do fine. He seems very much all-business. I don’t think he’ll go off half-cocked for a stubborn human female.”
I snorted. “You got that right. Plus, I’m pretty sure any human would take one look at him and run the other way.”
“Hey, he’s not bad-looking.”
I gripped her waist and squeezed. “He’s no me, that’s for sure.”
She wriggled in my arms with a gasping laugh. “I think you’re getting cabin fever in here.”
“What’s that?”
She grabbed my hand and stood up. “Come on.”
I blinked at her. “What? I get to leave? But Gurla said another rotation at least—”
