“I’m—” He grunted the word and she felt him release inside of her. This time, she was acutely aware of it, the way he spilled over and added another layer of slickness with no condom in the way. How had she missed this before? Had she been that drunk on him?
It was possible.
Trey made a little noise in the back of his throat that tugged at Charity’s core, and then he took those perfect abs away from her, rolling onto his back on the bed. A moment later he put his arm around her waist and tugged her up beside him so that both their heads were on the pillows of Charity’s queen-sized bed.
She lay there, panting, for what seemed like a long time. She might have dozed off. She didn’t know. But then it came to her and she sighed.
“What is it?” Trey raised a hand and traced the curve of her breasts with his fingertip. “Was that too much?”
“No,” she breathed. “It’s just that…”
“Tell me. You can tell me anything.”
“I’m going to have to wash the sheets.”
All of the bedding, probably. She could feel where the comforter was damp beneath them, and it wasn’t particularly thick.
Trey laughed out loud. “That’s what’s on your mind?”
“Among other things.”
“I’m thinking about…”
He let the silence linger until she took the bait.
“What?”
“A wedding.”
With a frustrated breath she threw her legs over the side of the bed and got up. That…was a mistake. Gravity took over, and Charity hustled to the bathroom and turned on the shower. She jumped in just before Trey’s release spilled between her thighs.
He clearly was in the mood to ignore her frustration, because he climbed into the shower with her a moment later.
“You should go,” Charity said haughtily, rubbing the water into her hair.
“Look. We clearly have passion.” She glanced down at the lines of his body, and hers immediately responded. Trey’s did, too. And they had just finished having sex. “I want to stay and figure this out.”
“The baby is not a problem.”
“I didn’t say that it was.” Trey gave her a smile that melted her defenses in spite of herself.
“You should really go,” she repeated. “This isn’t the nineteen fifties. I’m not going to marry you just because you got me pregnant.”
Trey bit his lip, and for the first time Charity realized that he found her pregnancy unbearably sexy. That, and he was hard as a rock. She didn’t even have to touch him to know.
“There’s something between us. You have to admit that.” He dragged his eyes back up to hers.
“That’s not enough to build a marriage on.” She worked shampoo into her hair and tilted her hair back under the stream.
“We’ll have a baby, too.”
“I need a towel,” she said.
“You want me to get out and give you a towel? Now?”
“Yes.” Her throat tightened. It was all so much. Trey standing in her shower with her, like she’d always wanted. But it was because of this situation—this complicated situation—and she didn’t know if she could survive it. “This—this can’t work out. You know that, right?”
Trey shook his head. “You know that’s my line, right?”
“It can’t.” She sounded plaintive and she hated it. “You’ve already broken my heart once. I can’t settle for a loveless marriage just to raise a baby in a home that everybody will approve of.”
“A loveless marriage? Is that what you think I’m proposing?”
Charity forced herself to look at him, but it was hard, what with the water running down over her face and the way her eyes seemed a little clouded. “With everything that’s happened, how could it be anything else?” She would never be able to erase Trey’s words from her mind. They would always be there, nursing a hidden doubt that festered and ached. Trey looked at her for a long moment, so long that it took her breath away. Maybe something could happen now, something major and drastic, and it would change the trajectory that they were on.
But he didn’t say anything game-changing. He only gave her a little nod. “I’ll get that towel for you.” Then he stepped out of the shower, leaving her alone.
Nine
Trey spent the next three days focusing on work. He volunteered in Charity’s place at the 4H program, taking one of his more sedate horses with him. He’d been a few times and the kids seemed to enjoy his presence, but mostly it just felt like another way to fill the hours without her.
It was all he could do to keep his head above water and keep thoughts of Charity at bay.
Not that he didn’t think about her—he did. He thought about her all the time.
Even a passing thought of her set his mind on fire, and he was right back there in her bedroom with her, taking what he wanted. Giving what she wanted. They’d both wanted it. He knew it. And then she’d been so upset. He hadn’t been able to think of anything to do but leave when she asked.
Staying away from Charity wasn’t the way to support her, even if she didn’t want him around her anymore. Even if she thought this wasn’t going to work out.
Trey finished his chores, ran through the last training session of the day, and then showered. He’d done some research on how to make pregnant women comfortable, and the article he’d read online had informed him that the sense of smell was heightened during pregnancy. It suggested that husbands be diligent about personal hygiene, so he brushed and flossed after he got out. Husbands had stung, though. He wanted to be Charity’s husband.
He wasn’t going to bring that up.
He promised himself he would not say a word about weddings as he pulled up in front of her house and turned the truck off. Trey didn’t hesitate as he crossed her little driveway and knocked on the door. He didn’t want to seem like he was slinking around, ashamed to see her. No. He was here for her, and no part of that gave him any shame.
She answered the door a moment later and cocked her head to the side. “Trey. What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you. Are you busy?”
The corners of her mouth turned up in a little smile. “I’ve been doing a few things, but I can take a break.” He thought for a moment she might shut the door in his face, but instead she stepped back, letting him in. “You want some sweet tea?” She shut the door behind them and led the way to the kitchen without waiting for an answer. There, she pulled a pitcher out of the fridge, collected two glasses from a cupboard, and poured them both a glass.
“I do love sweet tea,” he said, laughing a little.
“Everyone loves sweet tea,” Charity said.
It didn’t feel entirely uncomfortable between them. He seized the moment. “So. How are you feeling?”
She flicked him a glance and sipped her tea. “It’s been three days. About the same as before.”
“Is that good or bad?”
Charity narrowed her eyes. “It’s…different.”
“How?”
“Are you here to interrogate me about it?”
“I’m curious.” He smiled at her, hoping it telegraphed encouragement. “I want to know how you’re doing.” I care about you, he wanted to say, but thought that might rile her up again, even if it was nothing but the truth.
Charity shrugged. “I’m a little sick here and there throughout the day. A little tired.” She looked down into her sweet tea. “I actually have an ultrasound coming up next week.”
“An ultrasound?”
“Yeah.” Charity still wasn’t looking at him. “They normally wait until ten weeks, and I’m only at six or seven. But because of the fall, Dr. Rosario thought we should schedule one a little early.”
“Wow,” he said. An ultrasound. The first look they’d get at their baby.
That she’d get, unless…
“I’d like to come with you.”
She looked back up at him, eyebrows lifted. “You would?”
“Withou
t a doubt. I’d love to be there when you see…when you see our baby.”
The words made her cheeks pink. “If you want to be there, that’s fine.” She said it as if she were a little irritated, but he saw the little smile sneak across her face.
Trey stepped over to the kitchen table and took a seat. His muscles ached from a hard day’s work with the horses. Charity’s laptop was perched in front of the chair he was sitting in.
“Oh—that’s nothing.” Charity moved quickly across the room to shut the laptop with a little click.
“I swear I’m being a gentleman, but I saw your spreadsheet. I couldn’t help it,” he admitted.
She bit her lip. “If you’re going to keep showing up at my house, you’d have known sooner or later, I guess.”
“Is that…really all you’ve got in your bank account?” Trey hoped that the number he’d seen on the screen was a worst-case estimate, not the actual amount of money she had. It was true that Charity lived on her parents' property, but he didn’t know the fine details of the situation. It was possible they charged her rent. It was possible she had other loans and obligations. But the numbers seemed dangerously low to cover everything in her life for the rest of her pregnancy and then some.
“It’s not that dire,” she said defensively.
“You’re broke. Or you will be, if you plan to live off savings until the baby’s old enough to…to stay with someone while you go out on the circuit.” She was standing so close to where he sat that he couldn’t help himself. He reached out and rested a hand on her hip. Charity didn’t jerk away. She leaned into the touch a little, then went and sat down on the other side of the table.
“Yeah,” she admitted. “Pretty close. Kepler took a third of my savings. And now that I can’t count on going back to the circuit anytime soon, the budget is…a lot tighter. It’ll have to last me a lot longer.”
It wasn’t right. Charity shouldn’t be under this kind of stress. Not now. “I could buy him from you.”
“No.” Her eyes flashed. “I’ll be riding him soon enough.”
“Not this season you won’t,” he said. “And there’s no way you can ride this fall and winter. That’s a long time to go with no income, Charity.”
“Next spring I’ll be back in shape.”
He looked at her over the silver shine of the laptop. “How are you supposed to ride the horse with the baby?”
Charity scoffed. “The baby’s not actually going to ride with me, Trey. Obviously.”
“What will we do with a little baby while you’re out riding and I’m booked up with training sessions?”
“My parents will help out—so will my friends. We can hire a babysitter if we’re really in a pinch.”
Trey, deep in his gut, was viscerally opposed to leaving their future baby with anyone but Charity, but he couldn’t explain why. He hadn’t even thought of it until this very moment. He’d have said that he trusted her parents without hesitation, but caring for his child was something he felt a strong need to do himself. “It’s too much to ask your parents to handle childcare all the time while you’re competing. And if we hire someone, how will we afford it?”
“I’ll make it work,” Charity said, lifting her chin. “Lots of women go back on the circuit after they have babies. I won’t be any different.”
He didn’t want her to be one of those women.
But how was he going to bring that up to her?
It was a long time until decisions really had to be made. Sometime toward the end of February, he guessed.
“This isn’t a decision we need to make right now,” he said, feeling very diplomatic about the entire thing.
“This isn’t a decision you’re going to be making at all, Trey.” Charity’s voice was firm, with a sharp edge. “I’ll decide how I want to run my career from here on out.”
He stifled a sigh. Charity wanted nothing more than to be independent. She never accepted help unless it was her idea in the first place. The fact that he was training Kepler was a testament to that.
But things might change once the baby was in the picture. Hell, things were changing already, Trey decided, looking at her across the table. Outwardly, she didn’t look all that different, but she seemed…determined. The pregnancy was making him more determined, too. In his life, he’d had to go after what he wanted with a kind of dogged persistence. He would shape their life together like that, too.
“Well,” Charity said, standing up from the table. “If that’s all you wanted to talk about—”
“Let me help you.” It was too blunt, and definitely not her idea.
“I don’t need your help.” She put her glass in the sink and turned to face him, arms crossed.
“You shouldn’t have to be stressed about money. Not when you’re pregnant with our baby.”
Charity glanced away from him, then looked back. “I’m not stressed.”
“You made a spreadsheet to deal with the situation.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m stressed. That means I’m responsible.”
“Do you always frown this much when you’re perfectly relaxed?”
Charity cracked a smile at that, and he felt a burst of pride.
“See? I know you, Charity. You don’t have to act like I’m a perfect stranger.”
“I would never let a perfect stranger come with me to an ultrasound.”
“Hang on a second.”
Trey went back out of the house and climbed into his truck. He looked up at the door—she hadn’t followed him. Just as well. He popped his glove box and took out his checkbook. It took less than a minute to write out a check and fold it in half.
He found Charity still in the kitchen, still leaning on the counter by the sink.
Trey put the check on the kitchen table, the folded white square solid proof that he was in this. He didn’t give her the opportunity to refuse it. “I’ve written you a check to make sure things are at least somewhat covered until you come to your senses and agree to marry me.”
Charity laughed, and it sounded surprisingly…normal. “That’s not happening.” She turned and walked out of the kitchen. “I’m going out,” she called from the front door. “Don’t follow me.”
He didn’t. He waited thirty seconds after the door shut, then went out and climbed into his truck. He caught a glimpse of her white t-shirt back at the edge of the forest near her house.
Trey watched until he couldn’t see her anymore, and then he made a decision.
He went back into the kitchen and pulled a sticky note from the holder on Charity’s fridge. A pen sat on the table next to her laptop and he used it to scrawl a note, which he stuck to the check.
Cash this for the baby. —T
Then he left.
It was a move in the right direction, but he still wasn’t sure what to do.
So, he drove down the road to Austin’s house.
The piece of the property that his house sat on bordered the very back edge of Trey’s farm. Austin had bought a bit of land down the way with his rodeo winnings, but he still lived in the little farmhouse that matched Charity’s. On his parents' property. He had barely turned off the truck when Austin appeared at the door, a beer in his hand.
“Hey,” he called as Trey hopped out of the truck. His heart pounded in his chest. It was only a matter of time before the whole thing came out. Better to be straight with his friend now. “What are you up to?”
“Coming to visit you,” he called back. Austin went inside and Trey followed him. He found him in the kitchen, pulling another beer from the fridge.
“You done with work for the day?”
“Yeah,” Trey said, and caught the beer when Austin tossed it. It took him two tries to open it.
Austin noticed. “What’s wrong with you? Do you have heat stroke or something?”
“No. I have…news.”
Austin narrowed his eyes. “Don’t leave me in suspense.” He took another swig of his own beer.
The words
stuck in Trey’s mouth. How was he supposed to say this? How could he soften the blow?
There was no way to do it, so he went with option A: be blunt. “I slept with Charity, and she’s pregnant,” he said.
He watched confusion, then understanding, then anger flicker over Austin’s face. And then his best friend stepped forward and punched him in the face.
Trey didn’t even raise his hand to defend himself. He just took the hit, then reeled backward against the wall of Austin’s kitchen, jaw throbbing.
“I probably deserve that,” he mumbled.
“You deserve more than that.” Austin’s face was so red it was almost purple. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“It was one time,” Trey said, though that wasn’t strictly true. “We didn’t plan on it.”
“Of course, you didn’t. God.” Austin stalked to the window, looking out. Then he whirled around and jabbed a finger in Trey’s direction. “You’re going to marry her. Do you hear me? You’d better take care of her.”
“I…I’m trying. Hold on. You want me to marry her?
Austin’s face was a deep red. "God, Trey. What else could you do? You’re going to leave her out in the cold?” Then he shook his head. “Wait, what do you mean, you’re trying?”
“She doesn’t want to marry me.”
Austin scoffed. “Yes, she does. She’s been in love with you half her life.”
Trey shook his head, trying to shake the pain out of his skull. “That’s nonsense. She turned me down flat. She doesn’t think it’ll work out.”
“Hell, with that,” Austin said, setting his teeth. “I’ll help you bring her around.” He shook his head. “God, Trey. What were you thinking?”
Ten
The walk cleared Charity’s mind up until the moment she came back across the yard to her house. The sight of it only brought back the heady feeling of being in the same room with Trey.
She felt a hundred different ways about him. To begin with, she was irritated at this 180-degree turn he’d done. He’d gone from thinking that everything between them had been a huge mistake to thinking that he was some white knight coming in to save her in a fit of duty. There was nothing that Charity found romantic about a man resigning himself to marriage with her just because she was pregnant.
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