by Bawdy Bloke
George crossed his arms. “Because they don't know Adam...”
“Neither do we,” Sarah replied. “And Tabitha...”
“And I've told you, that is the end of it. Now was there a reason to you being here 'cause I reckon your new house mate might need some help moving in.”
“Do not call him that,” Sarah spat as she scowled at the grinning face of her father. “He is not my house mate.”
“He is,” the middle-aged man replied softly. “Now how would you like it, your house burnt down?” Sarah's scowl deepened and she shrugged. “I don't think he wants to live with you girls any more than you want him to live with you but he is homeless and had to put half his stuff into storage so he could probably do without you getting bitchy with him.”
Sarah groaned. “I am never bitchy.”
Her father raised his eyebrows. “Yes, you do. Now I know it's not ideal but, needs must. And you never know, you might actually like him.”
“I won't,” Sarah said instantly and he looked at her.
“Now, I'm sorry Sarah, I have to go to work. And when you get home Adam will probably be there.”
Sarah grunted and looked up from the kitchen table; it was not often she had breakfast at her parent's house, even though it was en route to her primary school where she worked but she had made an exception with the hope of talking her father out of his decision. “But … he better be house trained,” she snapped. “And tolerant.”
“Tolerant?” Her father asked. “Why?”
Sarah screwed up her face. “Why do you think, Dad?”
“Well Tabitha better not play the race card just because she doesn't like the look of him. I had a guy do that last year with me,” he stopped and thought for a moment. “Weird guy, he was gay as well. Said I was discriminating against him for being a homo and a darkie just 'cause I wanted my rent paid.”
“Homo and a darkie?” Sarah asked incredulously but her father didn't see the disbelieving look she gave him.
“Yeah, now listen. Her kind are always doing that, that girl better not play the race card with him. He's a good bloke, nice guy. Just please, be nice to him. For me, 'cause I could really so without this agro.”
Sarah bit her tongue and glared at her father as he left the room. She glanced over at her brother and he just shrugged with a smile. “He'll find out your secret sooner rather than later,” he warned her.
“Yeah well. Just not yet, OK. It's fine, loads of people are comfortable with it, but you know how much of a conservative prude he can be. ”
Liam smiled. “Well he didn't mind me going out with that girl from the Uni last year,” he boasted. “The French one.”
Sarah leant across and looked at him. “Yes, but he might have a problem with the drink, the weed and not to mention the orgies.” Liam grinned in reminiscence and she sighed. “Or maybe not. Who knows how his fuckin' mind works, you might get away with those, but I know your other secrets too. Remember, Olivia told me when she was pissed and I know he will proper freak if he finds out about them. About that night. Or should I say … those nights.”
Liam's eyes widened and he shook his head. “You promised not to say anything.” Sarah tutted. “Anyway, it was Olivia's idea. She encouraged me. She likes to ...” Liam blushed and sniffed, “and it's fun I s'pose.”
Sarah giggled. “It's OK. I won't. Just so unexpected that's all.” Liam watched as she placed her bowl on the worktop by the sink and hugged him goodbye before she strode out of the house and into her ten-year old car. The radio blared on the moment she started the ignition and she swore at it before turning off and heading for the small primary school where she worked.
Lenbury Road School was in a sleepy village on the coast and the drive took her twenty miles in almost unbroken countryside past the river estuary. She was lucky to have been given the job, as a Newly Qualified Teacher the first appointment was often tricky to get but she had worked at neighbouring schools as a supply teacher and then in March got the full-time Year 4 teaching position on a temporary basis when the incumbent was involved in a serious car accident.
The previous teacher was nearing retirement and the high-speed collision had left her with multiple broken bones. While Sarah was not hoping that the experienced Mrs Parsons would not return, she was aware that if she was unable to come back then the job she was doing would most likely be confirmed on a permanent basis.
Sarah, or Miss Dayton, was liked by almost all of her class. She made lessons fun and interesting, her youthful enthusiasm and idealistic naivety not dulled by years in the teaching profession, the endless initiatives and pointless bureaucracy.
She had persuaded her friends to spend some of their Easter break turning an abandoned piece of land into an allotment and on the return to school in late-April her class grew a multitude of vegetables that they planned, watered and then harvested in time for the Harvest Festival. The class project had involved everyone and bought her considerable praise from the headteacher.
Sarah liked her job but the day dragged; she knew Adam had taken a day off work to move into their house and Tabitha was home alone. She wanted to be there not at work, ensuring that her house mate was OK. Even some of the children noticed Sarah was a little distracted and one of her more challenging pupils was able to hide coats belonging to five of the girls before she spotted him acting strangely in the playground and had to tell him to return them.
Sarah had a decision herself to make; she knew that if swallowed her pride a bit and made an effort then she could make Adam feel welcome, even though he wasn't. It was what her Dad would have wanted but it wasn't want she wanted; she wanted him out of the house.
She thought as she drove back, perhaps her father was right; how would she feel if she was in that situation? Perhaps, Adam wouldn't be so bad. Perhaps, they could still lead their nudism lifestyle with him around although they had agreed to remain clothed in the flat until they felt comfortable around him.
While they all, and Natalie especially, had no qualms about being seen naked by men, their house was their sanctuary and as such they had to feel secure and safe. Adam being present, especially if he was clothed, would be violating their sanctum.
* * * * *
“Adam,” he said introducing himself to a black girl sat on the couch. “I'm here to move in.” Tabitha nodded and looked over at him. “I did ring but there wasn't an answer.”
“Oh that was you,” she muttered. “Nat thought it was her ex. You should have rung the mobile,” she said in an accusatory tone and Adam scowled slightly. “I'm Tabitha,” she said without emotion and got up from the chair. “Sarah and Natalie aren't due back 'til six.”
“Fine, OK” he muttered and scowled; he had not expected the lack of friendliness from the girl and took a deep breath rubbing his hands. “I got a bike. I was told there is a shed or something here that isn't used.”
Tabitha walked over to him and glanced over at the open door. “Shut the door, and I will show you 'round,” she barked. Adam felt like he was being chastised for being a naughty schoolboy: leaving the door open when he shouldn't and just closed it. Tabitha strode down the hall and opened a varnished wooden door on the right hand side, next to the lounge. “The dining room.”
The small room contained a large dining table, a small pile of towels and a sideboard which Tabitha showed contained knives and forks. A small alcohol fridge stood in the corner and Tabitha shook her head when Adam clapped eyes on it. “I got some beers,” he told her. “In the van.”
The rotund lady walked through the dining room, and came to another door which opened back out in the hallway and walked through an arch into the kitchen. “We clean up the night we cook things,” she told him as he looked around the compact and elongated room. She pointed out where all the cooking pans were and opened the fridge, telling him that the “blue milk” was hers. She shooed him back; there was barely room for two people to pass in the kitchen and pointed to a hook above head level containing a key. “
For the shed,” she told him. “It is empty.”
Tabitha strode down the tiled hallway, and then up the stairs opposite the lounge. The first floor contained a bathroom with a “lid down” toilet and both her room and Sarah's. The dark landing continued around until it reached another set of stairs which she walked up and pointed to a room over the front with an open door. “My room?”
“Yes,” Tabitha said curtly. “I go to bed around ten so no loud music or loud TV and games.”
“Yeah, fine,” Adam muttered and scowled at her: he didn't think Tabitha could have been less welcoming if she had tried and he looked into the room. The single bed was alongside the sloping roof and there was a wardrobe and desk in the corner. If he was going to stay for a period of time then he might consider changing the walls from purple to something more neutral but he could live with it for a few weeks.
He turned around to thank Tabitha but she was already going downstairs and he opened the wardrobe and chest of drawers beneath it. He could fit all of his stuff in it, but it would be a squeeze. He was just thankful most of his gear was in storage.
Adam didn't ask, nor was he offered any help, but Tabitha was sat back in front of the television and she didn't look like she was too strong to him. It only took Adam ten minutes to cart his suitcase and eight boxes into his room before he returned back to the van.
Tabitha had not said another word to him.
* * * * *
By the time she had arrived home there were no spaces outside her house and Sarah had to park on the next street, a not unusual occurrence. She practically ran past all the parked cars to the royal blue door that signified her home. She unlocked it, it was quiet, and there were no new cars on the street, and crept inside the house.
Tabitha was in the lounge watching television and she looked in. “Is he here?”
Tabitha nodded. “Yeah, didn't say much. He's in his room. And he is using the shed at the back for his bike. Only just got back from dropping the van off.”
“What's he like?”
“He didn't say much,” Tabitha replied and swept her black braided hair back. “He just carried several boxes in and filled the fridge up with beer. Sarah groaned and she glanced behind her as she heard movement. “Oh and he wondered why we kept our dressing gowns by the front door as he went out.”
Sarah hummed. “What did you say?”
“Not much,” Tabitha replied as the front door closed and the Scottish member of their trio poked her head around the lounge door.
“So what's the wee pervert like then?” Natalie asked as she took her coat off and Sarah shrugged.
“I dunno. Shall we go knock on his door and ask?”
Tabitha shook her head and took a gulp from her glass of water. “No. Let's hope he just keeps himself to himself. He seemed a bit shy.”
The floorboards above them creaked and they watched the door in silence as Adam appeared, his black hair untidy and his T-Shirt stained.
He looked at the three girls and smiled. “Hi. I'm Adam,” he muttered and nervously held out his hand to Natalie. She didn't take it and he just sighed. “Look, I know this is proper difficult for y'all and, er, well it's a bit weird for me too. I ain't lived with a load of birds before and well it thought would be cool if we chill. Watch a film or something. Or play on my PlayStation 'cause I saw you ain't got one, it's upstairs in a box but I got some decent games and stuff. And we could grab a few beers, a curry in as I know a great take-out and relax, ya know, 'cos I've had a shit day and I want to just chill.”
Tabitha looked at him in silence and groaned. “I'm pregnant,” she muttered, pointing at her stomach. “I'm not drinking.”
“You're pregnant?” Adam said in surprise. “Oh I just thought that,” his voice trailed off as Tabitha glared at him. “Dain't matter. Well have a few beers and a curry and put your feet up.”
“Alcohol,” Tabitha said firmly. “I can't have any beer. And I need to watch what I eat,” the black girl snapped.
“Yeah but that's a myth ain't it?”
Sarah groaned and put her head in her hands. “No. It isn't.”
“Ahh well just lemonade then. But a Vindaloo or a Phaal or for you girls a Tikka Masala or owt. Hey, you lot should love that,” he said gesturing towards Tabitha.
Sarah's eyes flew open and she glared at Adam, who clearly had no idea he may have offended them as he looked expectantly at the scowling girls. “I'll go do us that Mushroom Rissotto,” Natalie offered and pushed past Adam into the kitchen.
“A mushroom what? I'm grabbing an Indian,” he told her. “Anyone fancy a beer?”
Sarah reached for her mobile and swore under her breath; it would be a very long six months.
Chapter IV
“What?” Adam asked tired and still bleary-eyed.
“I am merely asking,” Sarah said in a sanctimonious voice oozing with fake sincerity, “what the purpose of that bag of peanuts was last night? After we went upstairs, you were here playing on the willy substitute and shooting fuck knows what with ya takeaway and ya had peanuts. Why?”
Adam groaned, and scratched his testicles through the blue dressing gown. “Err … to go with the beer.”
“You mean the beer that was in the beer can there, there, there, there, there and there.” Sarah pointed to eight discarded lager cans on the table and looked at him. “The cans that have stunk out the lounge all night of stale beer. Not to mention the takeaway cartons left there. Do you think we want to have our lounge smelling of curry and cheap lager?”
“Yeah OK, chill. It's a couple of cans, for god's sake,” Adam said derisively and Sarah clenched her fists. “I'll move 'em. I always clean up in the morning. It's not a problem.”
Sarah sighed loudly. “It is a problem. So I ask again, what is the point of the effin' peanuts?”
Adam hummed and held out his hands. “I don't get it.”
“Because normally, I would think you eat peanuts, but you seem to scattered them to the four corners of the fucking room,” Sarah snapped. “What is it? Is your mouth not big enough for a peanut this big?” Sarah's fingers moved millimetres apart and Adam looked at her in shock.
Adam screwed his face up. “Oh. You always miss a couple when you chuck them up in the air,” he said defensively. “But I'll clean it up before I go to work.”
“But I shouldn't find them the following morning. You clean up ya shit from the night before. We have outside bins for that and that and the twenty-two peanuts I found this morning.”
Adam chortled in disbelief. “Seriously, you counted them? Fuckin' 'ell. Carl warned me about t'is. It's bang out of order, a few cans and I'll clear 'em up for fucks sake. ”
Sarah's scowl deepened and she pointed to a pile of peanuts on the small fireplace. “They need to go in the bin,” she said firmly. “We like to keep the house tidy.” Adam groaned and Sarah crossed her arms. “If you are going to live with us do try and be house-trained.”
“Oh for fucks sake,” Adam muttered.
“We dain't want to live with an untidy little shit.”
“Oh fuck off,” Adam snapped. “Leave me alone.” He snatched at the small pile of rubbish he had left in front of the television and stuffing into the white carrier bag his takeaway was delivered in.
“Me fuck off? This is our house, and we don't want you here,” Sarah replied back angrily. “But if you have to be here, then show us some respect.”
“Well I didn't want to move in here either,” Adam snapped. “And to be living with you lot. But I had no fucking choice.”
Sarah went to reply but she glanced at the clock and swore, pushing past her new house mate with as much force as she could muster to get herself some breakfast.
Adam swore after her as he was bundled against the wall, calling her a “fuckin' witch” and glared after her, holding the carrier bag. He waited for a minute for her to finish in the kitchen before going to make himself some porridge and a cup of tea. He was beginning to hate Sarah, and Tab
itha had made it perfectly clear the night before how much she disliked him; that only left Natalie and she didn't appear overly friendly.
He picked up his phone and texted Carl before leaving for work at the alarms factory where he was a supervisor. He had had a bad start to the day and just hoped it could only get better.
It didn't, two of his members of staff phoned in ill and then one of the machines broke so Adam spent most of the day not worrying about his little problem; he reasoned, that if the girls didn't like him then he would just stay out of their way and just live his life on his own.
Of course, the house was very small and Adam was used to having an entire flat and not just a box room to himself but if they didn't like him there was little he could do about it.
Adam opened the door to the sound of loud voices from the lounge and walked into the kitchen to get himself a drink. Although it wasn't a long walk to his employer he had sweated in his coat and wanted refreshment when he got home. He rubbed his hands on his dirty sweatshirt and walked back into the corridor, and then into the dining room.
He knew he would probably not be appreciated in the front room and took his half-drunk pint of water to sit down at the dining table, yawning. He just wanted five minutes peace and quiet to read his newspaper.
He was interrupted by the curvy Natalie, who grunted the moment she saw him. “Don't tell me you buy that shit,” she said forcefully as she looked at the front page.
“What's wrong with it?” Adam asked as he sat down. “So it isn't the Guardian or the Times or whatever you read, but it's a solid decent paper.”
“It's,” Natalie stopped and rubbed her eyes. “It's a foul paper,” she told him forcefully in a highly pronounced Scottish accent.
“It's just a newspaper,” he sneered. “And, oh for fucks sake, can I do anything right?” He muttered and walked out of the room, coming face to face with Tabitha and a friend.
“You,” her friend screamed. “He was with the one who attacked me in my car,” she shrieked. “It was him.”
“It wasn't,” Adam said immediately. “It was Carl. I had nothing to do with it.”
