Beltane

by Alys West

  With a grin, Finn shrugged. Zoe’s eyes narrowed. He’d avoid talking about Maeve for the rest of the night if she let him. She took a gulp of wine and said, “So, Maeve? How’d you meet her?”

  “Because my sister Catriona - Cat - stayed at Anam Cara last year.” Finn folded his arms, resting them on the table between them.

  “In October?”

  “She first came in August. Not long after she’d split up with Andy, the latest in a long line of loser boyfriends. She came here to find herself.” Finn’s eyebrows rose. “Again.”

  “And Maeve promised to mend her broken heart?”

  “Probably. I’m a bit thin on the details.” Finn shuffled the beer mats around the table as he spoke. “Cat wasn’t talking to me. I hadn’t been as sympathetic as I could have been about Andy.”

  “Why? What did you say?”

  “I think my exact words were ‘he’s an arse and you’re better off without him’.”

  “Ouch!”

  “Yeah.” Finn rubbed his forehead. “Not one of my better moments. Padraig, our uncle, had just died and I....”

  Hearing sadness saturate his voice, Zoe reached towards him. For a second, her fingers hovered next to his arm. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

  “Thanks. It was really sudden. Heart attack. He was sixty three.” Finn looked away, his face tight. “I’d thought he’d be around for a lot longer yet.”

  “You must have been close.”

  “He was like another parent. It knocked me sideways.”

  “Didn’t your sister understand? I mean, you’d both just lost your uncle. Couldn’t she cut you some slack?”

  “I don’t know.” Finn’s lips twitched as if he were about to say more. After a pause, he added, “Cat’s eight years younger than me. She’s always treated me as the shoulder to cry on. And she wasn’t as close to Padraig...” He shook his head as if trying to dispel unwelcome thoughts.

  “It must have been a tough time.”

  “September was a total write off.” Finn’s eyes were fixed on the wall behind her head. “When I wasn’t working, I was in Donegal, organising the funeral, sorting out Padraig’s house. It took a while before I realised Cat hadn’t been in touch. In the end I figured she was waiting for an apology. I rang, left a message. She didn’t get back to me, not even a text. I tried again a week or so later. Still nothing. That wasn’t like Cat. She doesn’t hold grudges. I spoke to Mum. She told me Cat was in Glastonbury learning another kind of healing.”

  “Karmic wave?”

  Finn barked out a humourless laugh. “Of all the stupid bloody names! I thought it was just another of Cat’s obsessions.”

  “Obsessions?”

  “Cat gets infatuated with things. At the beginning it’s the answer to all her prayers.” His fingers tapped the edge of the table. “But when it stops being easy or someone upsets her she drops it and starts looking for the next thing. It’s been Buddhism, yoga, life coaching and every kind of healing that you can think of.

  “I thought this one would fizzle out like all the others. And, to be honest, it was a relief that I didn’t have to listen to her going on about how it was changing her life. But then Mum let slip that Cat was taking unpaid leave from work to help out at Anam Cara.”

  “She was working for Maeve? I hope she treated her better than she does Helena.”

  Finn frowned. “I doubt it.”

  Zoe blinked at him. She was starting to feel a little blurry and gently slid her wine glass further away. She needed to stay focused. There were undercurrents to his words that it would be all too easy to miss. Picking up on an earlier thought, she said, “What does your sister do?”

  “She worked at a spa in Leicestershire. Doing aromatherapy and reflexology. She enjoyed it and she was good at it. I couldn’t understand why she’d miss work to make beds and mop floors for Maeve.”

  Hearing the past tense, Zoe felt a quiver of unease for Cat. “What did you do?”

  “I waited ‘til she was back in Melton Mowbray then I went to see her. Tried to talk to her.” Finn hunched his shoulders, scowled into his empty glass. “It didn’t go well.”

  When he didn’t say any more, Zoe tried to fill in the gaps. “If your sister’s anything like Helena then I can imagine. I tried to talk to her yesterday and it was a total waste of time. She acts as if Maeve is some kind of guru. It gets a bit freaky after a while. Like she can’t think for herself anymore.”

  “In a weird way, that’s good to know. I’d thought that because Cat’s a bit fragile that Maeve used that to...” He glanced away, his jaw jutting. “It really pisses me off that she’s still doing the same to other people.”

  “But how does she do it?”

  “It’s a form of mind control.”

  Zoe blinked. “Mind control! Seriously?”

  “Yes, but I can’t tell you how she does it.”

  “Come on, Finn!” Zoe’s hands flew up. “You have to tell me that. She’s doing it to my friends. Don’t you think they have a right to know?”

  Slumping back in his chair, he said, “I can’t tell you because I don’t know.”

  “Oh!” Zoe’s hand rose to her mouth. “Sorry. It’s just you said you’d tell me enough to decide if I’d go back and when you said...” She fanned her hands out. “Well, I thought you’d changed your mind.” There was a moment of awkward silence.

  He rested his folded arms on the table. “Give me time. I’m figuring this out as I go along.” His voice was low, his eyes fixed on hers. “I’ve not told this to anyone. Not even Winston. Though he’ll get the whole story when he gets here.”

  Zoe smiled tentatively, trying to hide the thrill she felt that he was confiding in her. She briefly wondered why he’d not talked about this in six months even to his family. But distracted by the intensity of his gaze, she asked the more obvious question. “Who’s Winston?”

  “He’s a mate. He’s coming down on Thursday. I’ll ask him about mind control. He’s got more experience of these things. I understand that’s why Cat wouldn’t listen...”

  “Just one thing!” Zoe interrupted, her hand darting across the table. She miscalculated the distance and her fingertips brushed his forearm. The same tingling sensation, almost like pins and needles, ran across her fingers.

  Finn’s eyes met hers. In that second, she thought she saw a spark of desire in their grey depths. Then his eyebrows rose and he said, “What now?”

  “If Maeve does this mind controlly thing -” Zoe twirled her index finger around her temple “- how come it doesn’t work on me?”

  “I don’t know. But it doesn’t work on me either.”

  Zoe thought for a moment. “I guess I already knew that. Because otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

  Finn’s face froze. “No, we wouldn’t. And I’d be missing a sister.”

  “What do you mean? What happened to Cat?”

  “Five days after I’d seen her she disappeared.”

  “What?” Zoe didn’t know what she’d been expecting but it wasn’t this. Her earlier fear darkened. “Please tell me Cat comes out of this in one piece?”

  “Barely.” Finn’s voice was grim. Zoe’s eyes widened. She gestured for him to go on. “The first I knew was a phone call from Mum. That was Friday morning. The spa rang her after Cat didn’t show up for work two days in a row and they couldn’t get hold of her. Mum told me she was going to Melton Mowbray.” His chin dropped to his chest. “I honestly thought she was over-reacting, that she’d get there to find Cat ill or in the middle of some meltdown and not answering the phone.

  “But the flat was empty. Cat’s car was gone. Mum called me. I told her to ring the police. I left as soon as I could but I was in Anglesey and it’s a four-hour drive from there. When I arrived at Cat’s the police were already there. Crawling over the place, going through all her things. Mum was in pieces. Father was on holiday in Florida. He got the first flight home. Arrived in time to make the television appeal. Thank Go
d. I don’t think I could have done it.” He rubbed his hand over his eyes as if he were trying to erase the memories.

  “Oh my God, Finn! I had no idea.” Zoe knew her words were hopelessly inadequate but she felt too stunned to come up with anything else. Trying to remember if she’d seen anything about Cat’s disappearance on television, she said, “This was October last year?”

  “End of. Cat didn’t go anywhere without telling someone. She wouldn’t pop out to the shops without announcing it on Facebook.” Finn’s face was bleak as he relived the memory. “The police wanted a list of her friends. I told them about Maeve. The last two calls on her mobile were to Anam Cara. I thought that was suspicious. The police sent someone round to interview Maeve but” - Finn’s face twisted – “she convinced them that she’d not seen Cat for over two weeks.”

  Zoe stared at him trying to take in what he’d said. “She did the mind control thing on the police?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s...” Zoe swallowed hard. She didn’t doubt him. She’d seen Maeve in action, knew how persuasive she could be. She’d just not imagined her using it on anyone other than her guests.

  “Something of what Maeve told the police didn’t ring true. But there was so much other stuff going on, what with the investigation and the media and my parents, I wasn’t thinking straight. Then they found Cat’s car in a shopping centre in Bristol. She didn’t know anyone in Bristol.”

  “But you thought she might be in Glastonbury?”

  “I thought it was worth a try. I had to do something. It was the waiting I couldn’t take. And I…-” Finn’s eyes slid away “- I couldn’t shake the idea that Cat was at Anam Cara.”

  There’s more to that than you’re telling me, Zoe thought but she let it go. She could see how hard it was for him to talk about it. “You came to look for her?”

  “Yes. And got as far as the front gate. Maeve spun me the same tale as she’d told the police. But I didn’t believe her. I kept asking questions. And she refused to let me in to see for myself.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I waited until the middle of the night and then climbed the wall.”

  “Seriously?” Zoe stared at him. “Wasn’t that a bit desperate? I mean, what if Cat hadn’t been there?”

  “By then I was sure she was.”

  “How?” As she asked the question, Finn folded his arms. “You’re not going to tell me?” she said.

  “Right. All you need to know is that I found her. She...” He swallowed hard, his mouth a thin line. “It was like a flashback to when she was anorexic as a teenager. I couldn’t believe how much she’d changed. It was only nine days since I’d seen her. She was ill, really ill. Stick thin. She could barely stand, let alone walk.”

  “Oh my God! Poor Cat.” There was silence for a moment. Zoe sipped her wine and tried to absorb what he’d said.

  Suddenly Finn said, “What’s wrong with Tanya?”

  “She had healing with Maeve and afterwards she got really ill.” Zoe’s eyes widened. “Is that what happened to Cat?”

  “Yes.”

  “But how? I don’t get it.”

  “Maeve doesn’t give energy to people. She takes it away.”

  Zoe’s mouth fell open. “No?”

  “It’s perfect when you think about it. With the mind control she’s got it all sewn up. If the patient feels ill after the so called healing she convinces them it’s nothing to worry about, that it’s all part of the process.”

  “That’s what she did with Tanya. She told her it was a healing crisis.”

  Finn snorted. “It’s a lot more than that.”

  “I can see that she’s not a healer. It’s the other part that’s hard to handle, that she’s taking energy from people.”

  “Think about it.”

  She remembered Tanya after her healing, looking totally drained; Penny at breakfast on Monday saying how bad she’d felt after Karmic Wave; Helena in the kitchen getting defensive when she’d asked about the others who’d been ill. She’d had doubts then, questioned the credentials of Maeve and Karmic Wave enough to Google them. Weren’t Finn’s words only a small leap beyond what she’d thought herself?

  “O-kay,” Zoe said slowly. “I mean if I hadn’t seen what happened to Tanya then I’d think you were completely nuts.”

  Finn shrugged as if to say, ‘fair enough’.

  “But, as it is, I can kind of see that you might be right.”

  Finn leaned across the table. “You see why I don’t think you should go back there?”

  “God, yes!” she said and instantly regretted it. Finn had said he’d tell her enough to decide if she’d return to Anam Cara. She’d just admitted that she didn’t want to but there were things she still wanted to know. As he opened his mouth she jumped in with another question. “How does she do it?”

  “I’m not sure. My best guess is that it’s the opposite of healing energy.”

  She frowned. “I don’t understand.”

  “Have you heard of reiki? That’s the most well-known form of energy healing.”

  “Sure. Anna swears by it.”

  “In reiki the healer takes energy that exists in the universe and gives it to the patient. I think Maeve does the opposite. She identifies an energy that she wants. I’m not sure how she does that. But through touching someone she can take that energy from them.”

  Zoe hunched her shoulders. “And that’s what she did to Cat?”

  “Yes. When I found her Maeve had been stripping energy from her for five days.” Finn’s eyes were fixed on his hands wrapped tightly around his glass. “Cat was so far under Maeve’s control it was like she’d been drugged. I had to get her out of there. And there was no time.

  “I did the only thing I could. Picked her up and carried her. She was limp, like a bloody ragdoll. There was no way I could get her over the wall like that. The gate was the only option.” His jaw tensed, his voice was barely more than a whisper. “Maeve tried to stop us. But I got Cat out.”

  Zoe sensed there was lot more than he’d revealed but she recognised the set of his face and knew he’d refuse to answer. She hesitated, then said, “I don’t understand why Maeve did it. I mean, that was like kidnapping. She could go to prison for that.”

  “You’re forgetting that she can convince the police of anything she wants.”

  “Is that why you didn’t ring them when you knew where Cat was?”

  “I knew there was no point.”

  Seeing the bleakness in his eyes, Zoe knew she’d have to push him. “Maeve must have wanted something really badly from Cat,” she said, her voice carefully neutral. “Even if she knew she could get round the police, Cat has a family and friends. They weren’t going to just let her disappear.”

  Finn’s eyes flicked to her face, then away. “Let it go, Zoe.”

  “I’m just trying to understand.”

  “Then stop.”

  “But why?”

  “I said I’d tell you enough for you to decide whether you’d stay at Anam Cara. No more.”

  Zoe glared at him. He looked back impassively. After a few seconds she tilted her head and shrugged one shoulder. “Okay. Just tell me what happened to Cat. Is she alright now?”

  “No. She’s the same. Not better. Not worse. She barely eats. She hardly ever gets out of bed. She’s got no energy, no interest in anything.”

  “Oh, poor Cat! And you think that’s because of Maeve? What she did?”

  “Yes.”

  “So when you got back from New Zealand you came to Glastonbury to confront her?”

  Finn’s eyebrows shot up but then he nodded curtly. “You could say that.”

  “It must have been one hell of a surprise when you turned up on Sunday night! What did Maeve say to you?”

  Finn shook his head. Zoe folded her arms and waited. He didn’t answer. “Okay, how about an easier one? Why is the doll so important to Maeve?”

  “Do you need to know that to decide if y
ou’re going back to Anam Cara?”

  “Definitely.” Zoe kept her face straight and stared him in the eye.

  “Liar.” Finn grinned. “You decided ages ago.”

  Zoe opened her mouth to argue and then conceded with a half-smile. She glanced at her watch. Ten to eleven. “I can’t go back there. Not after what you’ve told me. But how am I going to find anywhere else to stay at this time of night? And I have to go back sometime. All my stuff’s there. And my portfolio. I have to have that. I’ve got a meeting with the publisher next week and everything I’ve done for King Arthur is in it.”

  Finn glanced at her and then away. “Why don’t you have my bed?”

  “I…”

  “I won’t be in it. I’ll be out for most of the night.”

  Zoe realised she was staring at him and dragged her gaze away. It was so very tempting. And not only because then she wouldn’t have to face Maeve. More time with Finn would be a bonus. But she had to be sure that he meant it. “That’s really kind of you but I don’t want you to feel like you have to.”

  “I don’t.” Finn looked at her steadily and for the first time since they’d arrived in the pub she felt reassured.

  “Then okay. And thanks.” Zoe smiled widely. “Though I feel bad about stealing your bed.”

  He shrugged. “There’s a sofa bed. Don’t worry about your things. You can get them tomorrow. In daylight. Sharpham’s a couple of miles from here. I can’t go back with you. There is a place I have to be, that I should have been a while ago. But I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to walk on your own.”

  “I can get a taxi.”

  Finn gestured as if to say ‘why didn’t I think of that’ and headed to the bar to arrange it. While she waited Zoe finished her wine and slid her sketchpad into her bag.

  Returning, he perched on the edge of the chair. “The taxi’ll be here in ten minutes.” From the pocket of his fleece, he pulled out a key with a plastic tag attached and held it out to her. “There’s a row of three cottages. I’m in Kingfisher. It’s the one at the far end.”

  Zoe smiled. “Thanks.”