Beltane

by Alys West

  “There’s no time to tell you now.”

  “So will you tell me later?”

  “Yes- ” Finn raised his hand “- if you’ll promise me one thing?”

  Zoe’s eyes narrowed. “What?”

  “Will you get out of Glastonbury for today? I’d ask you to come with me but I’ve not been home in six months and Cat’s still pretty fragile.” A flicker of pain passed over his face when he mentioned his sister. “You’re welcome to come for the ride if you want. Lyme’s a nice place, kind of arty. I think you’d like it.”

  “You honestly think I’m not safe here on my own?”

  “If you stay away from Anam Cara you’ll probably be fine.”

  “Only probably?”

  “Yes.”

  Fiddling with her teaspoon, Zoe hesitated. The thought of a few hours in the car with him was very tempting. But she had a sense that this time with his family was important and she didn’t want to intrude, even as a passenger on the journey. And she had work to do. If she was ever going to be ready for the meeting with the publishers she couldn’t afford any more distractions. “What if I went to Wells?” she said. “I was thinking of going there tomorrow anyway. The cathedral is supposed to amazing. Perfect Camelot material.”

  Finn took her hand. The tingle ran up her skin to her elbow. “I’d be happier if you were further away but alright. Just be careful and stay in public places. If anything happens that you’re not sure about, anything at all, then ring me. I’ll give you Mum’s number as well, okay?”

  “Okay,” she repeated faintly, his worry for her safety inflaming her fears.

  Finn picked up her phone with his free hand and held it out to her.

  He dictated his number followed by his mother’s and waited until she’d keyed them in. “I’ll text you when I’m leaving Lyme.”

  The waitress slapped a saucer with the bill on the table. Zoe reached in her bag for her purse. She opened it and winced. She’d got ten pounds and some shrapnel. Would that be enough? She took the note out and put it on the saucer.

  “I’m getting this,” Finn said.

  “No. You don’t have to do that.”

  “Zoe, you’ve changed your plans for today because I asked you to. It’s the least I can do.” Pushing his chair back, he headed to the counter. She picked up her tenner and tucked it back into her purse. At least now she could afford lunch.

  She heard the waitress laugh, turned to see her blatantly flirting with Finn, flipping her hair over her shoulders as she smiled up at him. Zoe’s shoulders tensed. She fought back the desire to go over there and turned to stare out of the window.

  Two women in their thirties in flowing skirts and scarves wandered past chatting animatedly. A couple with a baby in a buggy and a bickering toddler were followed by a middle-aged woman with hennaed hair. Zoe felt a sudden stab of envy. She didn’t know what these people were doing in Glastonbury in the middle of the day but she guessed they weren’t talking about people wanting to kill them in two days’ time.

  She glanced at Finn. He stood by the counter pocketing his change. He saw her looking and grinned. She smiled back before looking quickly away. How did he do it? He’d unfolded to her a world in which a woman who pretended to be a healer had kidnapped his sister, stole energy, controlled minds, wanted him dead and would threaten her if she went back to Anam Cara. So why did she feel so very safe with him?

  Chapter 21

  “Hey Cat! How you doing?” Finn said, opening the door to the conservatory. His sister lay on the rattan sofa, and despite the heat of the midday sun pouring through the windows, she wore a heavy, hooded jumper. A cream rug covered her legs.

  He’d been prepared by his mother’s words on the phone, and again when he arrived, but there was still a sliver of shock at how thin and ill she looked. Not quite as bad, he thought, as when he’d seen her last. A little more colour in her cheeks, a little more flesh on her bones but the hollowness in her blue eyes remained.

  A tall, polished wood staff leaned against the arm of the sofa. The compulsion to reach for it was almost overwhelming. He knew exactly how it would feel in his hand, the sense of completeness that would flow through his veins as the staff connected his heartbeat to the pulse of the earth. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he stepped back. He wanted his Mum and Cat to believe he’d come to see them.

  “Oh, Finn! You’re here. You’re really here.” Pushing fine, blonde hair out of her eyes, Cat held a skeletal hand out to him. Then just as he’d feared, she began to cry.

  Scanning the room for a box of tissues, Finn squeezed her hand and keeping his voice light said, “Come on, Cat. Anyone would think you weren’t pleased to see me.”

  Spotting a box of tissues on the coffee table, he hooked it up with one finger and dropped it on his sister’s lap. Stepping away he brushed his hand against his staff. The surge of energy, after so long without it, was like coming home. Tears sprang to his eyes. He bit down on his reaction, turned his face away.

  “I’m sorry. I can’t help it,” Cat whispered. “It’s been such a long time and I’ve had nothing to do but worry about you. There were times when I thought I’d never see you again.”

  “You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He looked out at the garden sloping steeply behind the house, glanced up as a black-headed gull screeched overhead.

  Cat blew her nose. “What happened to you? Where have you been?”

  “Glastonbury.”

  “I know that!” Frowning, Cat folded her arms. “But have you’ve been at Anam Cara all the time? Since the night you came to find me?”

  Finn leaned his head against the window. “I was there until Sunday night.”

  “How did you get away?”

  “I’m not entirely sure.” He hesitated, searching for the right words. “I had help.”

  “Who from?”

  Finn shook his head. He had no intention of mentioning Zoe. He knew Cat would seize on any mention of a girl and bug him with endless questions. “Not anyone you know.”

  “But it was someone with magic?”

  Finn raised his eyebrows. “You could say that.”

  “Wow! That’s amazing. You were really lucky. You could have been – well, you know...”

  “Yes.” His voice was grim. He knew exactly what he could have been.

  “That night, the night you came to get me – what happened? Why couldn’t you get away?” Cat leaned over the back of the sofa. When he didn’t speak, didn’t turn his head, Cat said, “I waited in the car like you said. The gate slammed and I started the engine thinking you’d be right behind me. But you didn’t come. I kept watching the clock, thinking just another minute and you’d come.”

  Finn’s shoulders sagged.

  “Then the gate flew open,” Cat continued, the words pouring out faster. “For a split second I thought it was you. But it was Maeve. She ran towards the car and I was so terrified I slammed my foot on the accelerator. I didn’t think. I still don’t know how I managed to drive – I felt so weak that night that I honestly didn’t think I could - but I had to get away. And I didn’t think of you and I didn’t stay for you. And because of that she...” Cat’s face crumpled as she mopped tears from her cheeks.

  Finn scrubbed a hand over his face, blew out a long breath. This was what he’d been dreading. When the worst of the tears were over he pulled a chair next to the sofa. “You only did what I told you to do. I knew the risks.” He glanced through the glass ceiling and swallowed hard.

  He’d massively underestimated the risks. And Maeve. But he’d do everything possible to keep that knowledge from his sister.

  Cat’s hands, clutching crumpled tissues, dropped from her tear stained face. “You did? You knew before you came to find me that she’s a spellworker?”

  Finn’s eyes narrowed, his jaw tensed. “Of course I did.” Shoving the chair back, he moved to the window. “But after you’d gone I... Well, things didn’t go entirely according to plan.”

  An
d that was the understatement of the century. He picked up a carved wooden apple from the window sill. Turning it over and over in his hands, he sensed the faintest memory of sap, the wood’s remembered connection to the earth. Like a nicotine patch on a quitting smoker, it slightly calmed the twitch in his fingers, the insistent desire to hold his staff. “I got you away from Maeve and that’s what matters.”

  “I’m so very, very sorry.” Cat spoke so quietly he barely caught the words. “You’ve been gone for very nearly six months. God knows what she’s done to you, what you’ve been through – I know you probably won’t tell me – and it’s all my fault. If I hadn’t gone to Anam Cara, if I hadn’t believed in Maeve and trusted her, then none of this would have happened.”

  “You’re forgetting that Maeve controls minds.”

  “But I should have realised,” Cat said. “When I think back, I can see that there were things that didn’t add up and I ignored them. If I hadn’t done that then you wouldn’t have had to come for me and none of this would have happened.”

  Her eyes, brimming with tears, were fixed on him. He wouldn’t - couldn’t - talk about what he’d suffered, wouldn’t add to the guilt she already carried. “Stop it. It doesn’t help,” he said softly.

  Cat’s fingers dipped into the neck of her jumper and pulled out a silver chain with a pendant on it. Recognising the stone as a black agate - supposedly a protection from psychic attack – Finn’s mouth tightened but he said nothing. If it helped his sister sleep at night, he wouldn’t be the one to tell her that against Maeve the crystal was as much use as a chocolate fireguard.

  “You know, it’s a good job you’d given me your mobile. If it hadn’t had GPS I don’t know how Mum would have found me,” Cat said, picking up the story of that night. “I drove as far as I could. Then the adrenaline must have worn off and, all of a sudden, I was exhausted. I pulled over and rang Mum. I thought she’d be at home but, of course, she was in Melton. It turned out I was somewhere near Frome. She came to get me but it took hours and I was really frightened that somehow Maeve would track me down. Then Mum brought me back here. And -” Cat shrugged sadly “- I’ve been here ever since.”

  Finn took a deep breath. He had to ask, however much he didn’t want to hear the answer. “But you feel better than when you left Anam Cara, right?”

  “I suppose so. I was in such a bad way there that almost anything would be an improvement. It’s just that I’ve got no energy. I can’t walk any distance. I get tired when I stand up. I even get tired watching TV or reading a book. I’ve tried everything, all the therapies I can think of. You won’t believe this but I’ve even been to the hospital. The doctors can’t find anything wrong with me either.”

  Finn’s eyebrows shot up. She must be deeply worried about her health if she was willing to put her faith in the medical profession.

  Knowing she’d want to tell him in detail about her hospital visits – and the inadequacies of doctors compared to alternative therapists - he said quickly, “What did you tell Father about when you disappeared?”

  “I said I went to Anam Cara because of the split with Andy - which is true. And I got ill when I was there and was too poorly to ring anyone - which is also true, just not the whole truth.” Cat frowned. “Somehow, I’m not quite sure how, he’s got the idea I had flu. For a long time he thought I was suffering from post-viral fatigue. Now he’s decided it’s depression.” There was a pause. Cat shredded a tissue between restless fingers. “It's not, is it? It’s because of what happened at Anam Cara? That’s why I can’t get better.”

  “Don’t say can’t,” Finn snapped. He’d lost six months of his life because he’d rescued her. He was damned if he’d let her give up on getting well.

  “Call it what you like,” Cat said wearily. “It amounts to the same thing. I’m still here and I’m still ill.”

  Finn perched on the edge of the chair next to her. He waited until she looked at him and said slowly, “You will get better.” He would do everything he could to make it happen. But he needed Cat to believe it. Just in case he didn’t make it.

  “Oh God, don’t you start.” Pushing her hair from her face, she glared at him. “I’ve had enough from Mum and Father. I thought you’d understand.”

  “I do understand. But you have to fight it. You can’t let Maeve win.”

  “What do you think I’ve been doing for the past six months? It’s just I can’t get away from it. Every time I go to sleep, I dream of her and that room and...” Cat’s mouth twisted, her eyes filling with tears.

  Finn plucked a tissue from the box, said, “Here.”

  “If only I could tell people what really happened I’m sure that’d help. Father’s sending me to a therapist. But how can she help me when I can’t tell her what I’ve been through?”

  Finn returned to lean against the window. This was exactly what he’d been dreading. Cat didn’t pull any punches. Whatever she felt she would tell him.

  Maggie, his mother, had – so far, at least - spared him. He knew the reproaches and blame were there. They’d hung in the air between them, unspoken, when she’d released him after hugging him on the doorstep. Not that he’d defend himself when she did find the words. For six months she’d not known if he was alive or dead. She’d got one child back, only to lose the other.

  Staring at the reflections in the glass, his thoughts returned to Zoe. Amazing that she’d only known she could see the future since Sunday. He understood now why she’d left the note this morning. He remembered the turbulence of trying to accept his own powers. It had taken months in Donegal with Padraig before he’d even started to come to terms with it.

  There must be somewhere decent in Wells they could get a drink when he picked her up. A beer might help him find the words to explain. Because it was time. She’d told him her secret. Least he could do was reciprocate.

  Obviously not with the whole truth. She didn’t need to know what had happened that night at Anam Cara. But enough of Maeve’s thirst for power for her to realise the potential danger. She’d seen enough, already guessed enough that what he told her would, he hoped, be just the final pieces in the jigsaw. He knew she could be stubborn – she’d shown that earlier when she’d wanted to take the bus to Wells - but that was only because she didn’t understand the risks. Once she did she’d agree to go back to London.

  “Where’s my mobile?” he said suddenly. It must be nearly two hours since he’d left her in the car park in Wells. She could have been trying to get hold of him. And, as he knew, a lot could happen in two hours.

  “I thought you’d want it so I brought it down with me.” Cat slid her hand into the pocket on the front of her jumper and held it out to him. “I’ve kept it charged and switched on just in case you tried to ring.”

  Tapping in the code to unlock it, he said, “Has it rung today?”

  “No. Why? You expecting a call?”

  Scanning his many unread text messages, Finn said, “I wondered if Winston had rung.” About to add that his friend was coming down later, he stopped himself. That was information best kept from Cat and Maggie. The less they knew about his plans for the next few days the better.

  “You know Winston came here?” Cat said. “When he was in Glastonbury looking for you.”

  Imagining the state Cat had been in at that time, Finn’s first thought was Winston deserved a bloody medal. Instead, he said, “He told me he’d been to Glastonbury but not that he’d come here. That was good of him.”

  “I told him everything I could remember, in case any of it helped with -” Cat gestured forlornly “- you know, finding you.”

  “Thanks,” Finn said inadequately, slipping his mobile into his pocket. The weight of worry Maggie and Cat had suffered pressed down on him. Trying to push it away, he asked a question guaranteed to fire a different set of emotions, “Where does Father think I’ve been?”

  “Mum and I told him you got a great job working in Brazil on a rainforest conservation project.”
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br />   “And he believed you?”

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t he?”

  “Do you know how hard it is to get jobs like that? What the competition’s like? And I have no expertise in rainforest habitats.”

  “Don’t get all technical about it.” Cat waved her hand airily. “Mum and I thought you should be somewhere that’s really hard to get to and has hardly any telephones so he wouldn’t be surprised if we didn’t hear from you for months.”

  Finn turned back to the window. “Or at all.”

  “Don’t say that. Mum and I always knew you’d be alright, that you’d get away from...her.”

  Picking up the wooden apple again, Finn resisted the temptation to remind her of her earlier words. Tossing the fruit from hand to hand he said, “You can say her name, you know? She’s not Voldemort.”

  “Don’t joke about it!”

  Avoiding her eyes, he increased the arc of the apple’s flight. “Where’s Father?”

  “Spain.”

  “Golf?”

  “What else?” Cat hesitated, her eyes on her brother’s face. After a moment, she said quickly, “Actually he’s coming back today. He’s taking me to the therapist tomorrow because Mum’s got to work.”

  “Thank Christ I came today then.”

  “He’s been really worried about me.” Cat’s fingers closed around her pendant and she pulled it back and forth on its chain. “He’s been here a lot and he’s been really supportive, taking me to the doctors and the hospital.”

  “Bet Mum’s thrilled about that.”

  “Don’t be mean, Finn.”

  “What’s made you his cheerleader?”

  “I’m not. But he’s surprised me, that’s all. And I think, maybe, what happened in the autumn might have made him realise what’s important.”

  Finn raised his eyebrows but didn’t push it. He hadn’t come here to fall out with her. “So how’s Mum been taking him coming round all the time?”

  “She’d never say it but I know she hates it. She goes into a frenzy of cleaning before he comes, is icily polite while he’s here and then goes for a long walk on the beach when he leaves.”