“I do,” he said. “More than you’ll ever know.”
She kissed him, mashing her lips into his hard. He returned the kiss with the same fervent ardor, sweeping his tongue into her mouth and tasting her sweetness. His admission only made the feelings he’d been keeping inside for so long burst out like a dam broke inside him, and he wanted her to know the depth and breadth of his love for her.
Neither of them pulled away for a while. Eventually, their biological need for oxygen overrode their passion and they broke off the kiss. “Let’s go inside.” She dragged him with her. “I need you. Now.”
Chapter Thirteen
J.D. knew she couldn’t just turn into the kind of mate Cam needed on her own. No, she needed help. So, she called on the cavalry—that was, her friends—to help her look and act like a lady. They, of course, were more than happy to assist her, and next day, they all met at Dutchy’s house.
“Don’t you worry, J.D., we’ll find you a dress,” Dutchy assured her. “I have a few things in storage I can easily tailor, and if you don’t like any of those, we can go to Aunt Angela’s shop.”
“And we’ll find you the perfect lingerie to wear underneath,” Sarah added. “Right, Darce?”
“Oh, definitely.” Darcey clapped her hands together.
“Two questions.” Gabriel had his hand up in the air. “First, what does it matter if she’s wearing the right underwear? No one’s going to see it.”
“Because nothing makes a woman feel more powerful and confident than wearing sexy underwear,” Sarah answered with a twinkle in her eye. “Trust me.”
“All right. Well, second question, what the hell am I doing here?” Gabriel asked, scratching his head.
Beside him where they were cuddled on the couch, Temperance giggled. “Because J.D. trusts you, and she needs a male’s perspective and opinion.”
“Then why isn’t Damon here?” Gabriel whined. “Or any of your mates?”
“Do we really want to get fashion or hair advice from my husband or those other guys?” Anna Victoria asked. “You’re, like, the most qualified male among them, Gabriel.”
“Well, when you put it that way—”
“Guys, come on,” J.D. groaned as she dramatically plopped herself down on an armchair. “We have less than a week to get me ready for this shindig.”
“I still can’t believe Cam is related to royalty,” Sarah said. J.D. had told them everything that had happened in the last two days, about Natalia, the business empire Cam was set to take over, and his relationship to King Aleksei.
“And he’s a duke, too,” Dutchy added. “Oh, I wish I could make a gown from scratch for you! But who knows, maybe you’ll be the next one down the aisle.”
“Whoa, whoa!” J.D. held up a hand. “Just because you got engaged doesn’t mean I’m next.”
“You better make an honest man outta him, McNamara,” Gabriel joked. “Don’t make me take out the shotgun.”
“But you know that’s the next step,” Anna Victoria stated. “You’re going to be presented as his mate. Why are you going to all this trouble if he’s not going to put a ring on it? Has the bond formed yet?”
J.D. bit her lip. There had been no talk about marriage. But he loves me. True, he hadn’t said it again but then she hadn’t said it back either.
It just didn’t feel right at the moment. She wanted to be with him, that’s why she was going to all this trouble—and to save his grandmother, of course—but the words just wouldn’t make it out of her mouth. Yet. She would find the perfect moment to say it. But when?
“Come on now, guys,” Darcey began. “We all know the mating bond is a personal matter.”
J.D. smiled at the swan shifter gratefully. “Thanks, Darce. Everything’s going so fast. One minute we were just taking things day by day and figuring out how we’re going to make the long-distance thing work, and then next, I’m supposed to learn how to address royalty and curtsey and which direction I’m supposed to stir my tea with.” With a loud groan, she sank deeper into couch. “God, what was I thinking? Cam is way out of my league. He plays three instruments, has two PhDs, speaks five languages—”
“So?” Sarah asked.
“I’ve been told I’m barely competent with this one.”
“Stop, J.D.,” Gabriel said. “You can’t think like that. If anything, Cam doesn’t deserve you.” He held up a hand when she tried to protest. “J.D., I’ve known you longer than anyone here. Hell, probably longer than anyone else in the world aside from Damon. You’ve never had to change yourself for a man. Why are you starting now? Why can’t you be good enough as you are?”
“I know that,” she sighed. “But it’s not just about me, remember? Am I supposed to just let his psycho family kill that sweet old lady?” Her heart clenched. She wasn’t going to let anyone hurt Natalia, not if she could help it. “Anyway, can we just get on with it?” She looked at Anna Victoria. “You’re still doing my makeup, right?”
“Of course,” she answered.
“I’ll help with the hair,” Darcey offered.
“And I’ll be here for moral support and pies,” Temperance added.
Dutchy came over and put an arm around her. “It’ll be fun. We’ll all come here and get dressed and made-up together.”
“It sounds like pure torture,” she groaned. “But I’m glad you’ll all be here with me. And that you’re all coming to the ball, too. Maybe you all can take turns guarding me and making sure I don’t make any more mistakes.”
“C’mon now, J.D.,” Dutchy said. “You know Sybil. She’s nothing like those mean girls you knew back in high school.”
“Yeah, it’s everyone else I’m worried about. I don’t wanna fall flat on my face and have everyone laugh at me.”
The pressure surrounding the whole thing made her stomach turn sour. But she meant every word she said to Cam. She would do everything in her power, short of murder, to make sure she didn’t embarrass him. God, she still cringed thinking about afternoon tea yesterday. She could feel his embarrassment, and she didn’t want that for him.
Her cat sniffed, lifting its head in distaste.
Oh, shut up. She mentally rolled her eyes at her animal, but knew what it meant. It had hurt, that he felt embarrassed of her. But, that’s why she had to turn herself into the perfect mate for him, so he never had to feel that way.
Besides, I’m a grown-ass woman. This was adulting, right? Not just paying her bills and shit. At some point, she would have to stop disgracing herself around other people. She was going to have to grow up and act like an adult.
The rest of the week passed by much quicker than J.D. anticipated. Work and getting ready for the ball took up most of her free time, but somehow, it all came together.
Dutchy pulled off a goddamn miracle and somehow found a dress J.D. actually liked. She hated everything else she had seen—they were all too girly, too itchy, too tight. It took her a few days of rooting around Dutchy’s storage unit, but eventually, they found one that suited her.
The bright spots in her week were the times she spent with Cam and Natalia, having dinner together a few times in the latter’s suite. In that short period, she’d come to adore the fierce, but loving old woman. She told them stories about growing up in the palace and her life before the revolution. But underneath the facade, there was sadness too. And though J.D. loathed Igor Dashokov’s side of the family, it was obvious that marriage to the polar bear gangster was the only way she could have a normal life and a family of her own.
As her admiration and affection for Natalia grew, so did the pressure to make this work. Could she really do it? Be the perfect mate for Cam, be by his side as he took over his grandfather’s legacy? What if she failed and fell—literally and figuratively—flat on her face?
She pushed away all the doubts and continued the mental countdown in her head to the Christmas Eve ball, willing it to come so she could get it over with.
Dammnit, she’d been so busy that she had actual
ly forgotten it was nearly Christmas.
I don’t even have a present for Cam, she thought.
They’d spent every night together, of course, usually at his place because it was closer to Natalia’s hotel. He still hadn’t said I love you to her again, but neither did she. It was just so hard to find a time, with everything going on around them. After the ball, she told herself. On Christmas morning. As soon as they woke up, snuggled together in bed, she’d tell him she loved him. It was the perfect plan.
The night of the ball finally arrived, and all the girls were in Dutchy’s bedroom getting dressed, showered, and made-up. The men, on the other hand, were in the living room, watching sports and drinking beer.
“Yeow! That hurts! Jesus Johnnycake Christ, woman!” she cursed as Anna Victoria poked her eye with the fake lash she held up with a pair of tweezers. “Are you sure they haven’t outlawed that in the Geneva Convention?”
With a defeated sigh, Sarah walked over to her, holding a glass jar filled with coins and bills. On the front, it was labeled Swear Jar. J.D. grumbled, pulled a crumpled dollar bill from her pocket, then shoved it inside. This was one of the methods her friends had employed to curb her bad cussing habit.
“At this rate, J.D.,” Sarah began, shaking the nearly-full jar. “You’re going to buy us all two rounds of drinks at The Den next girls’ night.”
“Now, now,” Darcey soothed as she wrapped another of J.D.’s curls around a curling iron to help define the unruly locks. “It’s just an eyelash. Hold your breath and sit still. I don’t wanna burn you again.”
“Yeah, Anders nearly tore the door down when he heard Darcey shout,” Temperance reminded her.
“This isn’t fair,” J.D. pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. “Why do guys take five minutes to get ready, and we’ve been at this for hours, and we’re still not done?”
“The trials of being a woman,” Anna Victoria sighed. “Damon always complains about how long it takes me to get ready.”
“All right, I’m done,” Dutchy announced as she burst through the door. She’d had a few more adjustments to make to the dress after J.D. had tried it on and had retreated to her workshop. “Are you ready?”
“Let me finish up,” Anna Victoria said. “We’ll put your lipstick on when you’re done.”
Thankfully, Anna Victoria managed to apply the lashes without any more incidents or bloodshed. After getting into the silk and lace underwear and pushup bra Sarah had picked out, Dutchy helped her into her gown.
It wasn’t really a gown in the traditional sense. Sure, it was all peachy-gold silk and satin, with a sweetheart neckline and a bow in the back. But the tiered skirt split in front, revealing that the outfit was a complete pantsuit underneath.
“Wow!” Temperance exclaimed. “J.D., you look gorgeous!” Everyone else oohed and aahed and gushed over the gown.
“See, I told you I’d get it done in time,” Dutchy said, winking at her.
“Thanks, Dutch. I really couldn’t see myself wearing anything else. It’s so beautiful, but it’s something I would definitely choose.” She gave a turn, sending the shiny fabric swirling around her. “And it has pockets.”
“Are you guys done yet?” Gabriel bellowed through the door. “The limos are here!”
“Hold your goddamn horses, Gabriel Russel!” J.D. yelled back. “We’ll come out when we’re done and ready.”
“Oh boy,” Anna Victoria slapped a hand over her head. “Where’s that swear jar?”
“Don’t worry, I’m tryin’ to get it all out of my system now before we get to the castle,” J.D. sighed. “Now let’s go before Russel loses his shit.”
Together, the girls left the bedroom and walked into the living room. All the men’s gazes were fixed on the television as they watched a hockey game, but the moment their women entered, all five of them turned to them.
“Anna Victoria.” Damon’s emerald gaze fixed on his mate like there was no one else in the room. Anna Victoria wore a champagne gold gown with an embroidered torso and full skirt. “You look amazing,” he rasped as he tucked a stray blonde lock away from her face.
“Sweetheart,” Gabriel began as he approached Temperance. “I think you’re going to make Queen Sybil herself jealous.” The baker blushed and did a little twirl in her emerald green gown, sending the tulle skirt whirling around her like a cloud.
“Close that mouth or you’ll catch flies, Rogers,” Sarah quipped as Daniel gaped at her, slack-jawed. Her daring strapless red gown showed off the stained glass tattoo down her arm, and one toned, shapely leg peeked out from the slit down the side. “Didn’t your dads tell you it’s rude to stare?”
“Jesus, Darce, you look good enough to eat,” Anders said, licking his lips and eyeing his mate in her light yellow, one-shoulder gown. “Let’s skip the party.”
Darcey giggled. “Are you sure? I might need you to help me find a bathroom or something.”
The tiger shifter’s expression turned funny, and he swallowed a gulp. “On second thought, you’re right.”
“Are you sure you’ll be okay with the crowd, John?” Dutchy asked her mate. Her glossy red hair was pinned up in curls around her face, perfectly matching her vintage ice blue satin gown.
Krieger’s normally serious expression was now one of awe as he gazed at her. “It’ll all be worth it, seeing you like this tonight.”
But perhaps the man who was surprised most of all was Cam. His blue-violet eyes pinned J.D. to the spot, his mouth parting, then closing, then parting again before he spoke. “J.D., you’re …”
If it weren’t for her rib cage, her heart would surely have leapt out of her chest. “I clean up nice, huh?” And so did he, not that she expected anything less. Her mate looked like a dream in his black tux, his hair pulled back, and those gold-rimmed glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.
“More than nice, love.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “You’re absolutely stunning.” His arm came around her, and his lips slid down lower to capture her mouth in a soft kiss.
“Don’t mess up her hair!” Darcey cried.
“Or her lashes!” Anna Victoria added.
“S-sorry,” Cam apologized as he took a step back. “Didn’t mean to mess up your handiwork, ladies.”
“Good thing she hasn’t put on her lipstick,” Temperance chuckled. “Or you’d be wearing it too, Cam.”
Sarah winked at the polar bear shifter. “You’re welcome. For later tonight.”
“Welcome?” Cam asked, brows drawn together. “And what do you mean later?”
“Oh, you’ll know,” Sarah said mysteriously. “Actually, you’re all welcome,” she said to the rest of the men.
J.D. stifled a laugh. Earlier that evening, Sarah had given them all their Christmas gifts—matching sexy lingerie from her latest collection, not even out in the stores yet.
“All right, all right,” Gabriel said as he clapped his hands and hustled everyone to the door. “Time to move, limos are waiting. We don’t want to be late.”
“Yes, carpool mom.” Although she said it sarcastically, she flashed the lion shifter a grateful smile. “And, Gabriel?”
“What?”
“Thank you.” She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. “For getting all this together. And for everything else.”
Gabriel’s face softened. “Anything for you. But I hope you remember what I said before.” His gaze dropped down to her bare arm, which Anna Victoria had covered up with makeup on her request.
It seemed like the right thing to do, since her tattoos didn’t go with her dress, but from the disapproval on his face, she knew what he was thinking. Her stomach sank, but she pushed that feeling aside. This is for Cam, she told herself. And Natalia. “I know, I know.”
“I mean it,” he said firmly. “You’re good enough, just as you are.”
“I—sure.” She nodded and swallowed the nervous lump in her throat as she tried to control the butterflies in her stomach. Her cat, too, was a bun
dle of nerves.
“Ready?” Cam said, placing a hand on her lower back.
With a deep breath, she smiled up at him. The love in his eyes sent a warmth through her, calming her and her animal. Mine. “Ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s go, champ.”
Chapter Fourteen
Cam had seen many castles in Europe before, but to actually lay eyes on one in America was a sight to behold. “This is fascinating. It’s as if someone took a castle from Austria or Germany and transported it whole to Colorado.”
“You’ve never seen Blackstone Castle before?” J.D. asked as they alighted from their limo. “It’s not part of your patrols?”
“Only the most senior rangers and Damon are allowed near here,” he said. “For privacy reasons. Though I imagine that for the most part, everyone in Blackstone knows to avoid the dragon’s lair.”
“True.”
They waited for the rest of their group to alight from their limos before heading into the castle. A formally-dressed butler greeted them and directed them toward the ballroom. Guests were already pouring in, but the presence of the dark-suited men with wired earpieces didn’t escape Cam’s notice. Human men.
“I knew security would be tight tonight,” Cam said as they waited in the long line of people being checked before they could enter the ballroom. “But King Aleksei usually travels with his own Dragon Guards. Are these guys private security?”
“No, Secret Service,” Damon said. “Vice President Scott Baker’s in attendance tonight as well.”
“Huh.” Strange. The vice president had already visited Blackstone a few months ago. In fact, it made the headlines because there was an assassination attempt on his life, one that was foiled by Daniel Rogers.
“Did you know he was going to be here, Daniel?” Anders asked.
“Don’t look at me.” The bear shifter held his hands up. “I had no idea.”
Thankfully the security procedures didn’t take too long, and soon they were inside the ballroom. Crystal chandeliers lit up the entire room and garlands of evergreen with gold and red streamers stretched across the ceiling. Every corner was decorated with trees, boughs, holly, bells, ribbons and lights. One gigantic tree stood at the back of the room, and a bright star lit up the top. Waiters walked around carrying trays of canapés and champagne while a live orchestra played holiday music.
Blackstone Ranger Scrooge: Blackstone Rangers Book 6 Page 16
