Unchecked tears stream down my face. I’m in the throes of pleasure mixed with pain. It’s almost exquisite in its perfection. I ignore her offer. “Why do you need my child?”
“I need the soul of a pure human born out of your love. She will host me and as she grows, I will use her to create my reflections in others. My strength will let her influence the world. Mankind will return to its basic needs.”
I stare at her aghast. “You want people to fornicate for a living? That’s your grand plan? Are you crazy?”
She seems puzzled. I’m slowly returning to my earthy realm. The lustful waves have stopped licking me. She follows me, almost sulking. “That’s what I am, pet and that’s all mankind has ever needed.”
I choose to disregard her. She sounds almost pathetic. I can see my bathroom from a top view now. I’m almost home with her following me in a most docile manner. Is that what she didn’t want me to see all these years? That she wasn’t really evil?
Nik’s face flashes right into my conscience. I lost him because of her. She isn’t that innocent!
“You guessed right, pet.” Raati suddenly inserts her talons into my waist from behind drawing blood. I wince as the sharp pain cuts through me. “I’m not innocent. You know why? Because I’m not alone. None of us are. I can choose any entity I want with me. Love, Greed, Envy, Compassion…do you know who I chose?” Her tongue licks my ear making me quiver with an unknown fear. “I chose Evil.”
“Lucifer, Satan, Beezelbub, Firion, Shaitan, Rakshash, Erlik, Daeva; whatever you chose to call him, he’s with me. Even with a pure soul I cannot pass on my reflections. The soul needs just the right amount of evil to evoke fear and suppress the other entities into accepting me. He gives me a strength no other entity can. He is all powerful. Others fear him because he’s undefeatable! Don’t’ worry yet, pet. You’ll meet him soon. You are as much his as you are mine.”
She floats under me and kisses my belly. A sharp jolt of icy pain spreads across it making me cry out. I’m almost home. I fal in slow motion on the bathroom floor. The fog is dissipating. Raati is leaving for now.
I forgot to ask her one important question. I try to stop her but she’s gone. How? I want to know, how did she find me?
Fifteen
A precious life.
Befuddled as I am, I find strength in me to reach the bed and crash into it for a good number of hours. I sense Ajaz wake up, his lips pressing over my forehead but I can’t rouse from my sleep. It’s the incessant ringing that makes me stir. Sleep withdraws its grip on my mind. I’m alive and the phone is ringing.
I grab the receiver. “Hello?”
“Prish!” The sound of Ajaz’s voice is heaven. I love him so much. “Where are you? You were supposed to meet me two hours ago.” He’s at his office and it’s Holly’s day off. We had decided to meet for lunch. I know he still doesn’t trust me to be alone for long periods of time.
Everything Raati has told me comes rushing. I bite my lower lip. I want to cry. I want to be in his arms. I want everything to be okay. But it never will. I touch my belly. How do I tell him what’s in store for us? For our child? He doesn’t know I’m pregnant. It must stay that way. “I overslept. I’m sorry.”
“That’s all right, baby. Do you want me to come by?”
His voice is chocolates and marshmallows. His concern makes me tipsy. I want him so much right now but I suppress that thought. I don’t want Raati to return. Not yet anyway. Not until I figure something out. “Ajaz?”
“Yes, babes?”
“I love you.”
I can almost see his proud smile when he hears those words. It’s distinct from any other. “I love you too, Prish. We’re going to make it.”
Will we? I don’t let him hear my disbelief. “I’ll see you later.”
We hang up, the wistfulness in this last goodbye affecting us both. He can sense it. I can sense it. He calls back almost immediately. “What are you not telling me?” he makes a gentle demand.
“Nothing.” I lie. I can’t tell him the truth. It’s too extraordinary for anyone to believe. “Ajaz, I really must go.”
“Okay,” he sighs but places a condition, “Get ready and meet in an hour’s time.”
I hang up without committing. I’m frightened for us, for our child. I’m frightened about the decisions I must make. I try to conjure up all the entities Raati says exists in us. Nothing surfaces except despair. It pushes me further towards depression.
Is Raati real? Or am I just insane? I can’t push Ajaz down the rocky path that I led Nik onto in the months before his death. I can’t live doubting our love for each other. Is my love for Ajaz real?
A tight pain grips my heart giving me the answer. It is as real as a physical pain. And because it is so real, I need to give it up. Slow panic unfurls within me before hitting me with full force. I cannot see the terrifying future Raati has chalked out for my child but I can stop her. Raati exists because of me. If I don’t exist, she won’t either. I am part of her grand plan that took centuries to reach this stage. With me out of the equation, she will be forced to go back and be a mere reflection of herself in humans.
I’m determined to destroy her.
A nagging voice surfaces to ask me, are you sure she’s real?
~ ~ ~
The car hugs the coastline rolling at a comfortable speed. I’m not thinking straight. My emotions are twisted. I love Ajaz, I can’t keep away from him. I can’t leave him, I can’t hurt us. Besides he won’t let me go. Not again.
The car phone rings. I can’t answer it and let the machine pick it up. His voice comes over, worried, afraid. “Prish, where are you? I asked you to meet me in an hour’s time. It’s two hours now! I’m coming home. I need to see you. Please, sweet, answer the phone.” His sigh is my undoing. I can’t do this to him. I can’t leave without saying goodbye.
I answer the phone. I’m crying and it makes my voice waver. “Ajaz, I’m sorry!” Tears are pouring down my face, my sobs are desperate.
“Prisha!” he yells. I can sense his panic, his utter sense of helplessness. “Baby, what’s happened? Where are you? I’ll come pick you up!”
“I love you, Ajaz, I love you!” My last words are a jumbled cry of tumultuous emotions.
My vision fogs over even as I make a last minute effort to swerve around an on-coming car instead of crashing head on.
Raati has realised what I’m doing. She’s too late. She can’t stop the rapid descent of the car as it jumps the rails and dives over the cliff. Her hate is obvious in her deathly grip around my neck, but all that she manages to break free is the amethyst pendant. She has lost.
~ ~ ~
I’m cold. Naked. Stripped of every vestige of modesty. I’m lying on a cold, slab in a black world. Am I alive or am I dead?
“You’re almost dead, my pet,” Raati’s voice grates in my ear. Her talons use my body as a canvas drawing blood. Pain hits me with an unexpected force. I hurt all over. I have broken bones and bleeding organs. My life is slowly ebbing away.
“So this is the one you chose.” A strange voice asks. The intensity of evil dripping from it sends shards of fear coursing through my veins. I manage to open my swollen eyes. He looks like a man but I instinctively know he isn’t one. He’s tall, muscular with intricate tattoos all over his chest. His shoulder length hair is darker than the deepest night. He is more handsome than any man I have ever seen. It’s his eyes that terrify me. They are almost devoid of colour and emotion.
He approaches me, a mirthless smirk on his sensuous full lips. My instinct tells me to put as much distance as I can from him but I’m a dead weight. I must be dead! His touch is a light caress across my cheek. It freezes me over.
“She is pretty.” He has sharp claws. They dig into my skin with painful precision. I try to scream but no sound comes out. He bends towards me as if regarding a specimen for inspection. He touches my skin near my eyebrow causing a sharp singeing sensation. Terror grips my very soul. This being, thi
s entity is pure evil. It’s a form it has chosen for itself just as Raati.
Raati! Raati! Help me!
Her laughter rings from within me. In an instant, I feel raw, carnal lust overcome my senses. I’m in pain but I feel desire. It’s sheer torture. “Firion! Firion! Take me! You’ve marked me, I’m yours, I’m yours!” I hear myself beg. But it’s not me. It’s Raati commanding my needs, demanding twisted pleasure.
Firion drags a long, sticky tongue down the side of my neck. His hands are on my breasts, exploring them for his pleasure and mine. Raati laughs even as I moan when I want to cry. I’m trapped in a realm between life and death. I choose death! I choose death!
“This is death, my pet!” Raati gloats, making me touch myself as Firion continues his torturous, painful path of exploring my body. “You chose death. You cheated me of my destiny!” I feel her hatred pierce me like sharp, icy blades. “Now you will suffer your fate, my pet. You asked me if hell existed. This is your hell, pet! It’s filled with pleasure and pain. Firion will fill you, own you, claim you for himself for you have disrupted his destiny too.”
I let out a slow wail. No! No! I want to live! Anything but this!
“It’s too late, my pet, too late!”
“Prish! Prisha! Baby please come back to me! Prish!”
I can hear him calling my name. I reach out for him. “Ajaz! Ajaz, help me!”
In the next second I’m wrapped in the warmth of his body. He’s pulling me towards him, his love shinning like a guiding beacon.
I come awake with a long gasp to the sounds of hyperventilating machines. The rhythms are all over the place.
“Move! Move!” I hear voices order. Ajaz leaves me and in the next instant I’m shocked out of my senses. It’s an adrenaline drip that someone has pumped into my veins. It doesn’t allow my heart to slip back into a lifeless state. I can feel it beating furiously, determined to survive.
“Ajaz! Ajaz!” I croak. He’s immediately next to me. I know he won’t leave me. He loves me. “Don’t leave me alone, don’t..” I manage before falling unconscious.
Sixteen
Trust in me.
I come awake into the shadows of a hospital room. The lights from ICU monitors blink at a steady pace. Ajaz is slumped in a chair by my bed. It’s dark but I can see his striking features softened by a disturbed sleep. A dark stubble graces his face making him look more attractive than he possibly could.
As usual, he can sense me and sits up opening his eyes. I know he wants to pull me into his arms but I’m hooked up to all sorts of equipment that are in the way.
His warm hand covers my free one, encircling it completely. He brings my fingers to his lips, holding them against them. He’s making sure I’m alive. My weak fingers reach out to brush across his stubble.
“Looks good on you,” I croak through my parched throat.
Unshed tears well up in his molten eyes. He kisses my fingers. “It’s been three days, Prish. I thought I lost you all over again. You really have to stop landing up in these damn hospitals.” His voice cracks at the end as he swallows on a sob.
I cry freely. I can feel his hurt. I have always been able to do that.
But this time, he’s not only feeling hurt, he’s feeling betrayed. He leans forward and lays a gentle hand on my belly. Slow tears fall down his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
His question jolts me in complete awareness. I try to get up, alarming him. “The baby! How’s the baby?”
Ajaz leans over me to give me a gentle push back on the bed. “The baby is fine, Prish. It’s fine. You had some internal bleeding but the doctors managed to stem it. The baby is safe.”
The baby is safe. I sink back into the pillows. The news relieves me and fills me with dread at the same time. Raati will be born through this child. Firion will accompany her. How do I win this battle?
I look at Ajaz. My face is a mess of bruises, I’ve attempted to kill myself two times but I know he still loves me. And I know he will believe me. All of a sudden I know we’re going to be all right. We will find a solution together.
~ ~ ~
The breaks that I take are numerous and my story takes hours but I need him to know it all. Right from my earliest memories of Raati.
He knows I’m telling him the truth. He knows I don’t lie. He knows he’s seen her, felt her with me, made love to her while making love to me. We have made a baby together. She’s made it happen. Or not.
The realisation sends waves of panic through him. There is a look of anxiety in his eyes as they try to come up with a conceivable solution. There is none. I want to hold him, I want to soothe his fears but I have no words that can do justice to a lost cause.
Ajaz finally comes closer to stand by my side. I’m hooked up to machines monitoring my lifelines. He’s both happy and scared that I’m alive. The thought doesn’t bother me. The complications of our relationship are enough to be real but its sincerity is under doubt. Do we really love each other or was it because of her?
His eyes are brimming with unshed tears. He leans over me, touching his forehead to mine, one hand resting on my belly. It moves over it absently as if trying to sense the life that grows within.
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” The broken question is painful under the weight of discoveries.
I raise my hands to cup his cheek. I love him more than life itself. “I wanted to. But I didn’t know how. I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me.”
A tear drops from his eye onto my cheek. “Afraid enough to make you want to kill yourself instead?”
He’s hurting with me. His carefully chosen words framing a question that is too complex. This time I have to tell him the truth even if it means losing him. “She didn’t make me do this. I tried it on my own. I wanted to die, Ajaz.” I gulp. “I want to die. I have to die.”
He squeezes his eyes close in despair. He can’t accept what I’ve confessed. I know he doesn’t hate me. He’s more sure of his love for me than I am. I know he won’t let me go. “I need you, you get that?” His eyes are glittering with a determination that surprises me. “I’ve had enough of you trying to run away. I’m not letting you go this time. I’m not letting you decide what’s best for us anymore. You get that, Prish? It’s not up to you anymore!”
I stare at him in awe. I have never seen this side of Ajaz. He is resolute to protect what is his. “You protected the baby that night Ajaz. The night we made love for the first time.”
He looks surprised that I know but nods. He leans forward to lay a kiss on my forehead. “And now I’ll protect you both. You’re mine, Prish, or did you forget?”
We hug each other like long lost souls. With all my secrets out, I’m finally free of a burden I’ve carried far too long. I’m not alone anymore.
~ ~ ~
India welcomes us back like the Mother she is. We head for her, seeking solutions and protection. I have no idea where exactly we’re headed but Ajaz seems to know what he’s doing. He’s holding back from telling me all his plans. I know he’s afraid Raati will sense them and try to stop us. I trust whatever it is he wants to do. I’m just glad to have him by my side.
It’s been two months since my deliberate accident and I’m still weak. I have slept all the way in the flight, eaten very little at the changeover or otherwise. Now as we slide into a private car at Bombay airport I can’t help but snuggle into him and fall back asleep. I’m thankful Raati has left me alone, possibly aware I need time to heal.
We’re heading for Nashik, a town around 170 kilometres from Bombay. I’m aware it’s Ajaz’s hometown but I have no idea why we’re going there. I thought his family was settled in Bombay.
When I awaken, the interior of the car is dark. Night has fallen and we still haven’t reached our destination. I peer into the darkness outside. We have left the city behind and the houses are far and few between.
“Hello, sleepyhead.” Ajaz’s lopsided smile melts my heart. I look up at him still snuggled into the crook of
his arm. I’m so lucky I have him.
“We haven’t reached yet?”
“Almost there.”
I settle back instead of kissing him. We both are holding back, keeping Raati at bay.
An hour later, the car winds up an elegant driveway, rolling to a stop in front of a palatial mansion. Made completely out of red stone, it stands two storeys high and spans the grounds on two sides. It’s a vision to behold but I have no idea where I am.
Ajaz gets off his side and stretches before coming round for me. He helps me out of the car with a broad smile. "Welcome home, Prisha.”
My mouth drops open. “Your home? This is your home?”
True Rising: Mark of the Defenders Page 14
