by Day Leitao
It was better to focus on the future, even if it didn’t come to pass. “We’ll have to reenter the atmosphere. Larissa, do you think you could reach Kay?”
She frowned. “For what?”
“To disable our canon. Then we land near our base. Otherwise, from where are we going to enter our atmosphere?” Saytera didn’t have any illusion that she could face a storm the way Dess did.
The girl nodded. “I think so. That works.”
Christina looked at them. “But won’t it be obvious that it’s where you’re going?”
Yes, but… It was obvious. “The tracker! They’ll know where we’re going regardless! Larissa, can you disable it?”
“I thought you were the ship expert.”
Saytera tried to think about that type of model. She’d never been in one. The memory that came to her was a different one: Dess breaking the tracker in the Lunar ship. She looked at the corner of the dashboard. There, a light blinked.
She looked to the others, for some reason unsure. “We should disable it, right?”
Larissa rolled her eyes. “Is that even a question?”
The model of that type of ship came to her mind, what was beneath it. She turned to Christina. “Can you shoot here?”
“Are you sure?”
For some reason, she wasn’t, there was a cold dread coming to her, but it was probably because of the situation they were in. “It won’t damage the ship, just the tracker.”
The girl took her cracker and shot that part of the panel. Beneath the top, a metal ball was broken.
Christina looked at them. “There’s no point in doing this if you guys go to your base.”
“I think there is,” Larissa said. “They won’t be sure. They’ll think we’d want to avoid going back there.”
“They can send someone,” the girl insisted.
Larissa waved a hand. “Someone. One, two people. We’ll deal with them. It’s our safest bet to land in one piece.”
If they left the atmosphere in one piece. Saytera’s heart was pounding. They could die at any moment. The three of them. She felt a bitter taste in her mind thinking that her two friends were there because of her.
Saytera looked at her friends. “I’m sorry, guys.” It didn’t help, but there wasn’t much she could do right then.
Larissa waved a hand. “Not your fault.”
Christina just looked away.
Saytera was out of words as she stared down at the city and the mountains around it, wondering if they were still in the range of the anti-aerial system. She checked the display. They were reaching 14 kilometers of altitude, out of the range of inner planet ships, but still in danger of being shot. Anti gravity was on, acceleration was maximum, and the numbers kept climbing, 25, 26, 27... 30 kilometers was their own base’s range, but she wasn’t certain about the limit in Citarella.
She looked at Christina. “Do you know if we’re clear?”
The girl bit her lip, seeming unsure.
Larissa looked at the display. “We should be fine at 50.”
When they reached 70 kilometers of altitude, Saytera exhaled in relief, then disengaged the launch system. They still kept going up because of the anti gravity. They’d escaped Citarella. The issue now would be getting back on the planet safely. It wasn’t as if she’d studied piloting or ever used a simulator. Her friends weren’t pilots either.
She opened the map on the display to find the general direction of the base. Home. It was funny to realize that she thought about it like that. A small consolation.
She then looked at a light on the display and her heart sank. It couldn’t be. She tried to engage thrusters and change the direction. Her insides were turning cold. How would she tell her friends?
Larissa beat her to it. “What’s wrong?”
Saytera swallowed. “I’m… so… sorry.”
“What? You’re freaking me out.” Christina snapped.
So stupid. Why? Why had she been so stupid. But she had to face her friends. “We’re… out of fuel.”
Their faces paled.
“No,” Larissa shook her head. “Wasn’t this by the fuel station?” She sucked in a breath. “You didn’t check…”
Saytera sighed. “No.”
Christina looked at them both. “So what happens now?”
“I’m trying to think.”
“Hang on.” Larissa gestured as if to calm them down. “What if… we turn off the anti-gravity. Won’t we go back down?”
Saytera tried to recall what she’d read. “We’re still under Mainland’s gravity. Unless we get in orbit, which we won’t, we’ll fall. We’ll crash.”
“No, no,” her friend said. “We turn it back on.”
“We’d need the thrusters to slow down the fall. Even without being pulled by the planet, if we’re accelerating towards it, just turning the anti gravity won’t make us stop.”
Larissa bit her lip.
“Plus we’re near Citarella,” Christina added. “I’m sure you’ll guess what will happen if we try to reach it.”
Saytera had a sick feeling in her stomach. No. There had to be a solution. It came to her in a flash. “Lunars.”
Her friends seemed puzzled.
“We need to try to contact them. We have information they’ll want. It’s our only shot.”
Larissa looked away, as if thinking. “If they hear our contact. If they believe us. If they have a way to take us there.” She then stared at Saytera. “But I think you’re right.”
“Hang on.” Christina frowned. “We’re gonna become… traitors?”
“Do you have a better suggestion?” Saytera was asking in earnest.
“Dying. How’s that? Do you know what will happen if they come across this information? What kind of retaliation they might plan? They’ve already been inflicting carnage on us. Somersault, hello?”
“There’s no proof it was the Lunars,” Saytera said.
Her former academy colleague rolled her eyes. “Well, who was it, then? The fire people?”
Her friend’s superstition was surprising.
Larissa then spoke. “Remember it’s related to this Zeta Project. We really don’t know who did it and for what.”
Saytera then added, “And, about the information… Remember that ending the truce is just a proposal. To be voted. Maybe they’ll help us find a way to let people in Mainland know about it. It’s in their interest.”
“They might just kill us. We have no idea what these people are like.”
Saytera stared at her. “I do, Christina.”
Her friend seemed puzzled.
Saytera continued, “There are a few things that happened. In the last few days.”
She then proceeded to tell her about Dess and Marcus, and their days on the island, including their insistence on why they didn’t think Lunars had anything to do with Somersault. Christina listened. Larissa also listened with attention, as if it weren’t the second time she was hearing it.
Christina was thoughtful. “Just because two of them can be nice, it doesn’t mean they won’t kill us once they get the information, or even attack the planet.”
Larissa shook her head. “If they were capable of attacking the planet and winning, why would they keep dragging this truce?”
Christina stared in silence. After a while, she sighed. “Try to contact them. Not sure they’ll listen.”
Saytera hoped someone did. She had to find a solution for her friends. Maybe, maybe they could reenter the atmosphere. “If nothing happens, and if we see we’re almost out of oxygen, I can turn off the anti-gravity just for a short while.”
Larissa frowned. “You said we’d crash.”
“We probably will. I mean it as a last resort. Once we’re almost dying.”
Saytera didn’t want to think about that possibility, but now that her friends agreed in contacting Sapphirlune, she realized that their odds there were quite slim. They were far from the moon, didn’t know the right channels or frequencies
, and didn’t know if anyone would believe them, let alone do anything.
Would apologizing ever make up for what she’d done? It had been her idea to go searching for this information, then her idea to get on this cursed ship. Now the three of them were doomed.
They stared at each other. Fear was visible on their faces.
Larissa bent over the control panel. “I’ll try to get a communication channel going.”
“Wait.” Christina held back her hand. “What if Mainland hears it? I think… we’ve been left alone because they know we wouldn’t have gone anywhere. But if they see we’re trying to contact the Lunars...”
Larissa sighed. “I can try a neutral call for help.”
“Why would they answer that?” Christina asked. “From the goodness of their hearts?”
“Starspark.” The word came out even before the thought had been fully formed.
Her friends were puzzled.
“The guy I met. I know his full name.” Fake last name, but it didn’t matter, apparently it was official enough. “Dess Starspark. We could use that.”
Larissa seemed uncertain. “You think it will reach him?”
“If it reaches Sapphirlune, I guess it will reach someone. They would at least be curious, right?”
Larissa nodded and sighed. “Yeah, if it reaches them. I’ll try sending ‘Help, star spark’ in all the ways I can find. It’s innocent enough that I don’t think Mainland will come after us, if they intercept it.”
“We’re getting away from the planet,” Saytera added. “I don’t think they’ll risk a space confrontation to shoot down a doomed ship.”
“Let’s hope.” Christina’s voice was barely audible.
Hope was all that was left. And it got fainter and fainter as the hours passed by. What were the odds they could reach Sapphirlune? That anyone would pay attention to it? But then, all wireless communication on the planet had been shut down. In theory, the Lunars spied on their communication all the time. Wouldn’t they notice communication from a ship? Wouldn’t they notice that the planet had launched a spaceship? These questions circled Saytera’s mind.
They had no water and her throat was getting super dry. Would they die first from poisoning from their own CO2? Dehydration? There were no air or urine filters on this ship, which had probably been built for short commutes to the moon. Eventually they’d just try to crash land, but the odds of survival there were close to none. This ship didn’t have ejectable seats. Some luck.
Larissa turned to them. “The call is being sent. What now?”
Saytera shrugged. “We wait.”
They stared at each other in silence.
“I have a story.” Christina said. “Perhaps not a story. It’s a secret, I guess. Not that I think we’ll die. Well, actually, I sort of do, but that’s not the reason…”
Larissa leaned over. “Just say it.”
Christina sighed. “My parents are fishermen. I’m from a fishing station. They saved a lot to send me to the academy.”
“That’s why…” Saytera was almost going to say you were teased, but caught herself in time. “You were so dedicated.”
Her friend looked down. “Yes. That’s why I was saving money. To send to them. And why I don’t want to die.”
Saytera felt even worse than she’d been feeling before. “I’m so sorry.”
Christina shrugged. “I made my choices, too, you know. Of course I could have turned you in. Of course I didn’t need to bring you to the military archives. I should have known that either it was nothing, or, if we found secrets, there would be a price to be paid.”
“Sapphirlune might still reply.” Saytera tried to be cheerful.
“It’s been hours,” Larissa said. “Eventually we might just have to say ‘yo, we have some top secret Mainland information. Want to get it?’”
Christina laughed. “That would get a spaceship after us soon. From Mainland.”
“That’s why we’d better keep talking,” Larissa said. “To avoid making stupid decisions.” She looked at her companions. “I’ll tell you how I ended up in Cliffbound. It was love. Or the impression that it was love. Something like it.”
“For who?” Larissa wondered if her friend had also been interested in Kay.
She shook her head. “You don’t know her. She was in the academy with me.”
Her. So Larissa… Right. Saytera had never noticed it.
Her friend continued, “We had promised to love each other forever. I thought she was my other half, the one for me. She was sent to Water Edge, a base also in the Northeast shore. A few months later, I took the opportunity and went to Cliffbound because it was close to it.”
Christina was perked up. “Did you meet her again?”
“Yes.” Larissa snorted. “She had someone else. She practically was someone else. I’m not sure if I imagined what we had, if I imagined our promises. I don’t know.”
Saytera wasn’t sure what to say.
Christina extended a hand towards her friend. “I’m not sure it helps, but at least you knew love. I never liked anyone who liked me back. The emptiness hurts, too.”
“Does it? More than the betrayal and the loss?” Larissa asked.
Saytera was thoughtful. “We just can’t know. I guess nobody knows what it’s like to be someone else.”
Larissa looked down. “No.” She then stared at Saytera. “What about you? Any love in your past?”
Dess. Dess, Dess, Dess, there was only Dess, and the realization surprised her. She had to remember that reaching him now was about survival, not whatever feelings that might be illusions.
“Ha!” Larissa laughed. “You look guilty. Spit it.”
“In my village.” Saytera decided to talk about the past. “There was this guy, we grew up together. And… I thought I loved him. But then he moved to, uh, another village. At first we corresponded.” She looked down. “Then he stopped.” Odd that it still hurt a little, even if she didn’t think he was anything remotely close to Dess. “Eventually he came to visit—with another girlfriend.” Saytera snorted. “I guess there was only friendship where I saw something more.”
They were quiet.
“So… you guys never kissed?” Larissa asked.
“You don’t need to be in love to kiss a guy. Or a girl, in your case,” Christina said.
“Yeah. I’ve done my non-loving kissing, too.” Not that she was going to confess she’d kissed Kay.
Larissa shrugged. “That’s neat. I guess I’m a hopeless romantic.”
“Romantic and hopeless shouldn’t be used together,”said Saytera.
“Sure.” Larissa glared at her. “Tell that to your past self when she had a heartbreak.”
“I mean in general. With a specific person, we might get mistaken, but in general… It’s a hopeful thought.”
“Maybe.”
They filled the following hours with talk until sleep came to them, even on those uncomfortable seats. Saytera woke up a few times, with an insatiable thirst and the agony of feeling death looming over them.
“Help, Starspark.” The call was being sent.
Perhaps they were doing it all wrong. She’d been trusting their communication system. What about one great ocean? One great universe? Stars above, stars within? Connecting to the inner fire within all living beings, all stars, she sent her own call, “Help me, Dess.”
25
Calling Into Nothingness
Even with the blinds shut, Dess had trouble falling asleep when they were in the day cycles on the moon. Their hours made no sense, attached to a planet with a real cycle, but pointless to them. So many pointless things. He got up with a start, chest feeling tight. Saytera. Of course his chest would be tight thinking about her. There was that possibility that he’d never see her again. As much as he’d never believed in the idea of soulmates, he doubted he would ever meet anyone like her again.
It had crossed his mind once to just go there and find her, but what for? She wouldn’t co
me with him. In fact, she couldn’t. Still, he kept thinking about her. It was as if he could rescue her from something. As if he had to rescue her, answer her call.
Dess sat up, wondering if there was something truly wrong with her. Knowing without knowing. There was more to the way people communicated than humanity could understand. He took a deep breath. It could also be an excuse his mind was making to take a ship and go to Mainland to find her. His chest was so tight, though, he couldn’t even breathe.
Dess closed his eyes. They’d been training the new recruits in the last few days, but trips to the planet had been suspended. Until when? This inertia was upsetting, as if they were waiting for something. Something he had no idea what it was. Eventually his moon would need water. At least this time they wouldn’t send unprepared teams down there. He took a deep breath. It was dangerous even for prepared teams, especially if Mainlanders already knew how they hid in storms. If Saytera had told them. Would she tell them? This was a stupid question. Would she risk her colleagues, her planet, to protect Dess?
So much anxiety bubbling up, he felt he might burst. He felt like the answer was to go to the civil port, take a spaceship, and just fly there, find her. Perhaps he was going insane. Perhaps it was just that he missed her.
Saytera dozed on and off sleep. It had been a tiring day, after a poorly slept night. The spaceship still kept the antigravity and its heater. She wondered if the battery could fail. Better not wonder about electricity outages and cause one by accident. True that once she’d realized she was capable of causing electricity outages, she’d never done it by mistake again. It was as if the understanding of how she’d caused blackouts allowed her to control when to do it.
Still, perhaps her mind was trying to find out what could kill them first. Or rather, what would force them to go on a deathly plunge. Still, she didn’t let her thoughts reach that place in her mind from where darkness spread. She now knew where it was.
And Dess. Could he hear her? One great ocean. One fire. One light. Through it all, she should be able to reach him. But then, it was like radio waves. It wouldn’t help much if he didn’t check that frequency.
