Dad’s also welding cute little figures by bonding old nuts and bolts together. They’re pretty good and he’s hoping to sell some at the local craft fair. Maybe I inherited some of my artistic leaning from him as well as my mother! I had a go myself but it’s trickier than it looks despite the fact I think I’m a good at joining bits of metal. He’s still pretty busy at work but maybe he’ll retire early and start up his own business?
Mum’s still painting at home. She likes watercolours and uses that difficult medium well. Her paintings are technically proficient if a bit too traditional for me. She’s exhibited locally and sold quite a few, always hoping to attract attention from the more prestigious art houses who might stock her work. I always tell her she should paint for her own enjoyment and that it should always be art for art’s sake but then she just rolls her eyes.
The trouble with mothers is that they worry constantly about their children. The questions come thick and fast when I’m with her. Am I eating well, getting enough sleep and not working too hard? Out of pure mischief I told her I was considering going completely vegan and she nearly blew a fuse, ranting and raving about essential amino acids and vitamins. I think it’s enough for her to cope with me being a pseudo vegetarian! I told her I was seeing a handsome man from Glasgow who is an engineer and that no doubt raised her hopes about grandchildren! (By the way my dad wants to meet you to talk engineering stuff so be warned!) We can easily rub each other up the wrong way. Maybe it’s a mother daughter thing for I don’t think she worries the same way about my brother Eamon. Despite being a complete shit at times, his life always appears to run smoothly compared to the emotional peaks and troughs I and other women have to endure when hormones can darken your life. (If reincarnation is real, I want to be an XY model next time round!)
And talking about my brother, he has yet another new girlfriend Lysette, she’s French. And works somewhere in London. They met at a meeting for economists (I hate them!) in Birmingham and must have hit it off.
Since he’s currently in Manchester they don’t get to see each other that often but Lysette came up this weekend to Gloucester and mum cooked us all dinner. I think Eamon was on edge all evening wondering what I might come out with once I had a few glasses of wine! Being two years younger than me he feels I dominated his early childhood. We were both very competitive, and while he became stronger physically than me, I remained sharper in mind winning the verbal arguments at least. I think I realise now how frustrating that must have been for him. Anyway, he warned me specifically not to bring up ex-girlfriends, not to talk about sex and try not to say anything outrageous. I told him that didn’t leave me with much to add to the conversation!
She turned out to be a lovely person, pretty with a sexy accent but unassuming and happy to express her views without dominating the conversation. I liked her. Lysette is into running and swimming but not climbing, which will suit Eamon since he hates anything to do with the mountains. He is much more of a gym man preferring boring weights and machine cardio to the challenge of a climb. He must like her because he’s secretly learning French to surprise her. I think they’ll get on well together if they can see each other often enough to sustain a relationship. He’s trying to patch up our relationship which has always been fraught. I can’t fault him for trying, but once a shit always a shit.
So far we have managed to get by with you living in Glasgow and me in Edinburgh. Yes, it’s early days for us and even thirty miles can be a pain at times when it comes to building a relationship. Then distance has its advantages in keeping things fresh, allowing both of us space to do our own thing. However I am now so desperate to see you again to hear your voice, see your face, climb the hills and frolic with you in a strange bed.
Ellie
It was the first letter that talked about her family and seemed almost ordinary compared to the others he had read. References to her brother hinted at the troubles to come between them, but it all felt as if she was just imparting information as though he was a close friend and not her partner. He remembered deconstructing the letter afterwards, reading and rereading the various lines while looking for reassurance that she still wanted him and might even love him. He always found contradictions in her words. Did she want to keep him at a distance? Was he just the current climbing partner that also provided good sex? She had mentioned the word relationship, talked about him to her parents and it looked like she might ask him to meet them in Gloucester which was encouraging. And that last sentence gave him hope that maybe she wanted him in her life as much as he wanted her.
It was also the first hint of the mental anguish that would come to dominate her life and fill his with despair.
---oOo---
Tosh let it ring six times, trying to work out a suitable opening gambit to start the conversation. In the end he just decided to keep it simple.
‘Hello Alison.’
There was a pause before she answered with a forced laugh. ‘Well at least I’m still in your contacts.’
‘How are you?’
It was all he could think of to say.
‘I’m fine, apart from being worked off my feet as usual. How are you? I hear you’re in charge of that axe murder on the mountains. There’s a lot of talk about it in Glasgow.’
She was talking quickly and clearly nervous. The preamble was awkward, but he knew it was necessary. Whatever the reason for her call she didn’t want to hurt him and hopefully spare the embarrassment of any petulant outburst on his part.
And he had certainly been childish in the past.
‘Yeah, first bit of real action since I moved up here.’
‘I saw your interview on the telly.’
God how long was this going to go on for? She had something to say to him. When would she skip the introductions and get down to business? His heart was pounding, and his mouth was dry. He fought to stay civil.
‘It’s the worst part of the job, trying not to put your foot in it in front of thousands of people.’
‘I thought you did well and...’
‘Alison, this is hard for me and you too so maybe just tell me why you’re calling?’
There was long pause, Tosh wondering whether she had rung off.
‘I’m pregnant.’
‘Well congratulations.’ After the initial stab of pain, the two words came out on reflex and he regretted them instantly.
‘I just wanted to let you know,’ she continued hurriedly. ‘Bill I’m sorry about what happened. I didn’t want to hurt you.’
He knew that. She had kept repeating these words when he found out she was seeing him behind his back. But now he wanted to hurt her. The wounds from the breakup had still not healed and he wondered if they ever would.
‘Well I got hurt Alison but I’m going to have to be a big boy and get over it.’
‘It wasn’t easy for me to phone you.’
An inner voice told him to shut up, thank her for the call and get off the phone. He ignored it.
‘It’s not easy for me to hear your voice.’
‘Bill, how long is it going to take for that little boy of yours to become that big boy?’
‘Well obviously longer than it took you to start fucking him behind my back.’
‘For some reason I didn’t want you to find out from your friends or colleagues. I thought it was better that I called you in person. I shouldn’t have bothered.’
‘Well thank you for that consideration but if you’re looking for potential godfathers keep me off the list.’
Tosh ended the call before she could respond, deliberately placing the mobile far enough away from him on the desk so he could not hurl it on the floor. He had destroyed three phones that way. Instead, he stood up and kicked the chair across the room.
It was the worst possible news. Tosh knew he had still harboured a forlorn hope she might have come back to him. There was no chance of
reconciliation now she was expecting someone else’s child.
And what she had said to him on the phone just added to his pain, for she was right. It was two years now and he still hurt like a child. He had been out with a few women since then but kept them at a distance scared of making a commitment and facing that misery again. He still thought about her every day.
The door opened and the desk sergeant’s head appeared.
‘You all right,’ she smiled. ‘I heard a noise.’
‘I knocked the chair over.’
She looked at the chair which was lying a distance from the table and then looked at Tosh. ‘Things not going that well with the investigation?’
‘No, it’s things not going well with a certain DCI who’s presently acting like a small child.’
She nodded sympathetically before starting to close the door behind her.
‘Sergeant,’ he called out and her head reappeared. ‘Do you get cards that say congratulations on your pregnancy?’
‘Now there’s a question I’ve never had since I joined the force,’ she chuckled. ‘I’m not sure.’
Her laughter was infectious, and Tosh found himself smiling at her. ‘Maybe I’ll just get one that says sorry.’
‘Well, I know there are plenty of those,’ she nodded while closing the door behind her.
Chapter 10
Joe Flint had driven back to Wales shocked and saddened by seeing the lifeless body of Ellie Saunders lying on a mortuary table. She had been a great friend and lover over the years, and they had shared memorable climbs together. But it was her infectious spirit of adventure he would miss most and her ability to inspire other climbers to push themselves to their limits. He had never met her parents but knew their pain would be thousands of times greater than his. She was their daughter, and someone had killed her.
He knew she had suffered from a mental illness, occasionally disappearing for months at a time. During these periods she seldom returned calls or answered letters and her work colleagues were always guarded as to her whereabouts if he phoned her office. It was often frustrating as he was often desperate to have her join the occasional expedition his company was running, especially if there were women climbers who would benefit from Ellie’s help. He had only recently learned that about twelve years ago she had announced she was taking a sabbatical from work to travel to New Zealand for a year, to seek out markets there. Whether it worked or not or whether it was just an excuse for a holiday, her company had certainly gone from strength to strength.
Deciding to take a break at the half-way stage of his long journey to Wales from Fort William, Joe Flint left the motorway and drove to a cafe he had used in the past. The coffee and cakes were worth the stop. It was also the place he had once taken Ellie when en route to a climb in the Cairngorms and he wanted to think more about their fleeting relationship.
The coffee energised his system and he found himself thinking back to one incident with Ellie that he now realised must have occurred not long before she took herself off to New Zealand. It had been an explosive event in their history together and whatever had caused it remained a mystery.
She had asked him to come up to Edinburgh where she said they would have lunch and then go on to what she had described as a special event. She wanted him to see something but would not be drawn on what it was all about. He remembered her almost begging him to keep that day free and not to let her down. It was something she had never done before, asking for a specific date and time and she sounded excited. It had piqued his curiosity. After checking his work diary, he assured her he had nothing on that day and could even fly up the night before and take her to dinner. She had sounded so grateful.
But then his manager had taken a group of experienced climbers to Switzerland when a member of the group had fallen, breaking both legs. The injured man had fully comprehensive accident insurance specifically designed for climbers so Flint knew there would be no problem with medical costs. His company also paid large sums every year to cover client liability, so all bases were covered. Nevertheless, it was an acute injury and he decided that he would fly out to supervise matters while his manager continued the expedition with the other climbers. It would be good PR to show his company looked after its clients.
He had phoned Ellie to break the news and apologise, not prepared for the vitriolic outburst that ensued. She had shouted and screamed at him saying if he cared anything for her at all he would postpone the flight to Switzerland and come to Edinburgh. When he said the flights were booked, she pleaded with him to change them. When he refused and said she was being unreasonable she swore aggressively, said she never wanted to see him again, and ended the call.
She only got back in touch after two years and they started climbing again. She was still passionate on the mountains and in bed, but he sensed she did not want to talk about what had happened and he never pushed her for information. He had forgotten all about it until he saw her body in the mortuary.
The young waitress came over to top up his coffee, smiling at him when he looked up. Her youth made him feel ancient. Now approaching 56 he had started to feel the effects of these years when on long climbs or prolonged skiing. Already there were mountains that were off limits simply due to his age, for while they were well within his technical ability, he knew they would take too much out of an ageing frame. He also had low blood pressure and a resting heartbeat of just over 40. This combination increasingly made him feel dizzy if he stood up, or even looked up too quickly. That was not good when scaling a cliff face. There would come a time when he would have to give up the sport he loved or at least scale down to hill walking or skiing down the gentler slopes. There were no regrets. He had made a living doing what he loved. But Ellie’s premature and violent death was now making him think about his future.
He had no partner; no children and both his parents had died in their early eighties. While he loved his brother’s children and knew they were fond of him, how often would they come to visit him in a nursing home? It was a depressing prospect making him think a fall from a great height would be more inviting.
He had asked DCI Tosh to text him the details of the funeral. Maybe it would be in Gloucester where her parents lived or Edinburgh where she had spent most of her adult life? In any case he would go and speak to her family and tell them how good a climber she was and the positive effect she’d had on the people she met. And he’d also tell them of the affection he’d always had for their lovely daughter.
---oOo---
John Serafini had travelled by train from his office in the Borders of Scotland to Newcastle and was now in a pub close to the city centre. He had arrived earlier than he expected. Ordering a glass of wine, he took a seat by the fire in the corner. It was not busy which suited him fine.
He had glanced at her notes on his laptop the evening before. They had first met on a climbing exhibition when she was 30 and he would have been about 38. Their friendship had developed into one of occasional phone calls for casual sex where he functioned as her unofficial counsellor and psychiatrist.
He felt then she had mild symptoms of what was called at the time manic depression, now referred to as bipolar disorder. It meant her life went through cycles of highs and lows. Ellie had always dismissed this diagnosis saying she felt her psyche was out of balance and it required resetting both mentally and physically.
When he had asked what resetting the psyche meant to her, she had become annoyed asking what kind of counsellor would ask a question like that. Nonetheless he had persevered, and she said her mental process required new neural pathways to be laid down to override the faulty ones accumulated over the years which had now become the default position. That was done using a counsellor or psychologist to tease out the errant thoughts and replace them with healthy ones. When he had asked about resetting physically, Ellie said it meant a strict vegetarian diet, natural vitamins and minerals together w
ith special plant supplements. It was to be combined with regular and vigorous exercise that would put her in touch with nature. She told him she had chosen climbing for that aspect of the resetting programme. She was slim, extremely attractive and clearly intelligent, if somewhat wacky. Added to that a sparkling personality made Ellie Saunders the archetypal femme fatale. And he certainly was attracted to her but then he had been attracted to other clients before and had always maintained professional boundaries. He justified it to himself by saying she wasn’t really a client since he never charged her for any counselling sessions.
After the second meeting he had suggested they should halt any further sessions, saying he did not feel he could help her. To his surprise she had demurred saying she felt comfortable in his presence and trusted him with her feelings. The therapy was apparently working, and, combined with the new diet, she claimed to feel so much better. Dismissing his attempts to articulate the possibility her mood was now on a ‘high’ she persisted, and he saw her for either sex or counselling, even once at his holiday home in Italy.
Glancing at his watch Serafini realised his friend would arrive shortly making him turn his attention to more pressing matters regarding the death of his former client and lover. He knew he should not have put off contacting the police in Fort William when it became apparent Ellie Saunders had been murdered at Coire Leis.
It was now two days since he had learned of her murder and he had done nothing. He needed to admit to the police that he was probably the last person to see Ellie alive before she was murdered. The longer he left it the more incriminating it would become. They would have his DNA by now. He also knew that the police put in large resources into solving murders and that his name would come out somewhere in the wash. Then they would interview him and ask where he had been on that night. He would then have to tell them about their romp in the snow-hole and it would be difficult to explain why he had not come forward earlier. He would then become their prime suspect and be arrested on suspicion of her murder. He had no alibi, and no one had seen him leave the snow-hole when she was still alive. Whatever happened the publicity and stories that followed would cause his personal and professional life to unravel.
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