by Zara Teleg
“Running is not freedom.” His fists relaxed as he blew out a breath, and with a low voice he said, “But if that’s the way you want it, fine. You won’t be a kept woman by me. I knew this was a mistake. I should have never let myself fall for you. I should have gone with my gut.”
Be strong, Juliet. “I’m sorry I hurt you, but I’m not giving up the independent life I’ve made for myself and built for myself. I can take care of myself as I’ve done the past four years.” I lifted my chin, trying to show him I was strong in my resolve.
With those words rolling off my tongue, he nodded and said, “I hope you’ll be happy with that decision. Enjoy your independence. Goodbye, Anabelle.” He turned away and stormed out the door, slamming it so hard a sconce fell from the wall and shattered on the floor, in a million pieces, just like my heart.
It took everything I had not to follow after him and tell him how much I loved him and wanted him. But I couldn’t. I knew he wouldn’t let my past go. This was the only way to keep him safe.
As the sound of his bike faded into the distance, my body crumbled to the floor, and I freely let the tears flow. Lord pushed against me, and I buried my face into him. It was the two of us alone again. I’d done it before, it might take time, but I would get through this. I would rather live with a hole in my heart and know Rage was alive than risk him losing his life for me.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Rage
It had been the longest, loneliest, and most painful month of my life. Each day, I went through the motions like a robot. The club had been busy at work, attempting to put an end to the threat on our territory. All the brothers had taken turns going out of town on business, trying to get our connections in order. I used that as a distraction, but even the imminent danger didn’t keep me from thinking of Juliet.
This morning was my Saturday shift at Stained Skyn. I stood looking out the tinted glass, watching people come and go from the farmer’s market. Because of the colder weather, it was only open on holiday weekends. Halloween had everyone leaving with pumpkins and barrels of apples. I repositioned myself several times, hoping to catch a glimpse of Juliet. I knew it was self-torture, but I turned out to be a masochistic fuck up.
Juliet no longer went to The Pit. She had Ivy doing her Wednesday classes. I felt bad about that. I knew she loved her MMA workouts, and avoiding me had kept her from them. I was going to have Shelly call her and arrange a schedule that would allow her to come in without the possibility of us running into each other. She was not even at the club party two weeks ago; she used to never miss those, more to keep her eye on Ivy than to party.
Two weeks ago, I noticed her at the corner from Fluid; I almost didn’t recognize her. She looked thin, tired, and her glow had disappeared. Her golden brown locks were dull, no more pink, purple, and blue peeking out. I didn’t understand why she looked so miserable—she rejected me. She had lied to me, then stabbed my heart and set it on fire. She had made it clear. She wanted to be alone. After losing Donovan, I did not believe there was anything left of my heart to crush—it turned out there was.
I refused to ask anyone how she was doing. Especially Ivy, ‘cause fuck her, too. This was Juliet’s fault, and I wasn’t asking.
I was done feeling like shit, so tonight I was determined to stop feeling sorry for myself and hauled my ass to The Ridge. Saturdays were usually busy, but tonight it was unusually packed. Brothers, townies, college kids, mostly women, made up the crowd to see the band. Blood Moon was a blues-rock band from Tennessee who made it through the area a few times a year.
Every time they played The Ridge, the women went crazy for the lead singer, Parker Wilson. The acoustic sound of the guitar filled the room, the large amps carrying Parker’s deep voice over the riffs. Woman swayed and cooed on the dance floor while the men shot pool and darts.
I found myself scanning through all groups of women, assuming Juliet might be here considering the band. Not one held a candle to her. I noticed a group of women who were way overdressed for this place. They were loud even over the music. One woman was staring me down. Her barely there top was casually readjusted to give me a glimpse of her cleavage. I rolled my eyes and turned away to listen to the music and grab a beer with a few of my brothers.
Colt was the last to arrive. We did a few shots, and I felt a bit loosened up. I kicked Hawk’s ass at two pool games and three games of darts, then sat back down at the bar and ordered one more shot. I made myself comfortable on my stool, relaxing to watch the band’s next set. The lights dimmed on the stage.
Parker, in a smoky, deep acoustic blues version, began to sing Ain’t No Sunshine. With each lyric, everything else in the room stilled and silenced. It was like the words were being sung directly to me. A dull ache formed in my chest as Juliet’s face flashed in my mind. The darkness of her being gone made my heart ache. With each verse, my mood darkened. I motioned to the bartender for another shot. I threw it back and walked over to the woman who had been trying to get my attention all night.
A crooked smile came across her mouth as she acknowledged my approach. “You looking to get out of here?” I asked.
Her eyebrow arched, and she licked her lips. “Oh, yes.”
I grabbed her hand and pulled her through the crowd and out to my bike, not looking back. I handed her the helmet and pointed to the seat.
“My name is Sherri, by the way.” Her fingers glided over the seat. “I love your bike.” She giggled with a small hiccup.
“Rage,” I grumbled back and nodded to her to get on.
She was cute. She wore more makeup than I liked, and she wasn’t soft and natural like Juliet, and she didn’t smell of summer honeysuckles. Her clothes were too tight, she had big tits and a small waist, but she lacked the tone and curves of Juliet. She wore really high heels. Juliet owned flip-flops, Converse, and boots. I remembered when she had to borrow a pair from Ivy when she needed heels. What the fuck was I doing, comparing this bar bunny to my Juliet? I was with Sarah, or was it Mary, whatever, to get my mind off Juliet.
“Where are we going, Rage?” She swayed and giggled.
“Clubhouse. You think you can hold on?” I assessed her movements.
“Oh, yeah, I can hold on. I could ride all night.” She giggled.
I rubbed my eyes, shaking my head as I mounted the bike. “Get on, watch the exhaust. Hold on tight, Sally.”
“Sherri, my name’s Sherri.”
Right. Sherri. Who fucking cares?
She wrapped her small body around mine and squeezed more tightly at every curve. I felt sick. Juliet was the last woman to ride on my bike. I had to keep reminding myself that all I needed was a night with a woman and maybe tomorrow would be easier. Seeing her the other day and then hearing that damn song had my head fucked.
We made it back to the club. I walked in, grabbed a bottle from behind the bar, and pulled her back to my room. She walked around the room, looking around, asking me questions. I didn’t really answer. “You’re a quiet one,” she giggled.
“We aren’t here to talk. If that’s what you want, I’ll bring you back to the bar.”
She smiled, not insulted at all. “No, I guess we aren’t,” she agreed. She removed her shirt and was just wearing a small strapless lace bra.
She walked toward me, grabbing my belt and pulling me close. She brought her lips to my mouth. I could smell the alcohol and faint smell of smoke coming from her lips. I pulled away and said, “No kissing.” I turned her so her back was toward me. I didn’t want to look at her. I couldn’t look at her.
She wiggled out of the micro skirt, rubbing against me. I tried to get into it. But that damn song was stuck in my head, over and over. Juliet was my sunshine. She only had to gaze at me with those yellow-green eyes, one look and she had me hard.
Sherri’s hand covered my denim-clad crotch. She popped the button and unzipped it. She had her hand in my boxers, rubbing up and down. Nothing. Her half-naked body or warm hand did nothing for me.
; “Is this not working for you?” she noticed.
I grabbed her hand and jerked it away from me. “No,” I snapped. “You are not working for me.” She kept quiet as she looked at me, taken back at my harsh words.
“Sorry, recent breakup.”
“I get it,” she nodded. “If you give me a chance, I’m sure I can wipe that bitch right out of your mind.”
Her strapless bra unsnapped, falling between us to reveal her huge tits. Picking up the bra, I handed it back to her. “She’s not a bitch. Get dressed. I’m taking you back to the bar.”
There were still quite a few people hanging out around the club. I heard Hawk’s voice and the giggling of women coming from the game room.
“Rage, yo’ man, want to get in on a game?” He pointed his cue at the table. “I need to earn my money back,” he yelled.
“Nah, man, I’m headed out to take her home.” As the words left my lips, the woman with Hawk turned, shooting me daggers. A furious Ivy, with hands on her hips. She gave Sherri a once over, then looked at me.
“I guess you’ve moved on, you bastard.”
Hawk snapped, “Ivy, shut it.”
“No, Hawk. He fucked up Juliet, and now he’s out with some whore.”
“Who are you calling a whore, bitch?” Sherri answered back.
“Ivy, she was the one who fucked me, so you can just shut up and mind your own business.”
I took Sherri’s hand and led her to my bike. Outside, Sherri was turning in circles, her chin tilted toward the full moon that lit the sky. “Look how pretty the moon is.”
My eyes looked at the sky, gazing at the bright full moon and the sparkling stars surrounding it. I closed my eyes, remembering the night I almost kissed Juliet the first time. She had been under the club’s protection then. We had lain on a blanket in her backyard and she had pointed out constellations and spoke of their meanings. Juliet had told me how her parents always used to say that whenever she missed them, all she had to do was look at the moon and remember that no matter how far apart they were, they were both looking at the same moon.
I missed her so fucking much, it was killing me. We were both under the moon, yet worlds apart.
Juliet
Halloween was usually one of my favorite holidays. I loved the crisp fall air, pumpkins, and seeing the leaves begin to change color. Despite the miserable depression I was in, I have kept up with my running. Usually, I could talk Ivy into coming. Not today, though. She was going to take a nap while I went for a run. She stayed over last night. She had been doing that more often, partly because she worried about me and because she knew I was leaving soon.
I decided that I would pack up and be ready to move by the end of next week. My landlord was happy to accommodate me; he knew how well I had kept the place. Ivy and I had packed a lot the last few days.
My sneakers jogged over the yellow and orange leaves as I took advantage of the Indian summer we were having and went for a run. Unlike Ivy, I had too much anxious energy to nap. I was going to miss this place. It felt good to get out and run the trails or pound the pavement down the mountain, especially since I hadn’t been going to The Pit. The ground was still a bit muddy from yesterday’s rain, so I ran the main road down the mountain. I admired my neighbors’ decorated houses. Bales of hay, corn stalks, and colorful mums with the occasional ghost hanging in a tree all made the holiday seem happy and not like winter was just around the corner.
Halfway down the usually deserted road, there were cars lined up about a quarter mile long. Somebody was having a party. As I approached the next house, which was on several acres, the smell of a bonfire became strong and I heard the sound of children laughing and screaming mixed in with chattering voices. Music played in the distance.
Then I heard it, the unmistakable clank that a horseshoe makes when hitting the pin. My heart clenched as I listened to the roar of men’s excited voices. With each clang and cheer came another pain in my heart. The sound reminded me of the club barbeque where Rage and Hawk had won the horseshoe tournament. We shared our first kiss that night at the bonfire. I couldn’t stop the images from flooding my mind. Rage’s possessive move of throwing me over his shoulder and making me his made my body seize. I couldn’t run another step.
The side stitch had me bending over, holding my ribs. I was panting. It took me a few minutes to catch my breath and bring my heart rate to a normal pace from the marathon it was running in my chest. My pulse still throbbed at a higher-than-average rate as I turned back to make the long walk up the hill to my cabin.
When I was back up the hill, far enough away from the party not to see any more vehicles or hear anyone around, I began to relax. I was almost home when loud rumbles of motorcycles coming up the mountain surprised me. Anyone leaving the party would be going down the hill. Mine was the last house before the Hendersons’, and they never had guests, let alone bikes. The nagging gut feeling telling me to hide ate at my stomach. I ran behind a massive evergreen as the loud mufflers approached. The sound was not familiar; none of the Souls’ bikes sounded that way.
A wave of nausea flipped my stomach upside down as I crouched on the ground and sharp pine needles poked into my bare knees. The bikes came into view—two of them. They began to slow as they approached. Did they see me?
For the second time today, my heart quickened and felt like it was beating straight in my throat. My eyes narrowed at their strange cuts. Theirs had large yellow rockers with bleeding skulls on the back. I couldn’t make out the words.
Suddenly, the symbol became familiar. The asshole who attacked me, Joker, wore those colors. I quickly followed behind the line of trees when they drove so slowly that they practically stopped while passing my house. Fuck!
A moment later, they revved their engines and flew the rest of the way up the road. I stayed behind the biggest bush and watched, knowing that they had to come back down the same way they came. Why did I not bring my phone? Ivy was in there. Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
My breaths became short and fast as panic took over. My Jeep and Ivy’s car both sat in the driveway. Maybe the second vehicle would prevent them from stopping.
I could hear them coming. I laid on my stomach, watching from under the bush. I stayed completely paralyzed. Tingling and involuntary shaking took over as I saw them slow down. Both heads covered in black bandanas, not helmets, turned their sunglass-covered eyes toward the house before nodding at each other. They looked around, every sound drowned by their motorcycles, except that of my heart. It was pounding so fast, I felt like they could hear it. I ground my body as far as I could under the bush for fear they would feel my gaze and catch me. I wanted to close my eyes, but I couldn’t. Just when I thought my heart would explode in my chest, they accelerated and sped down the mountain.
My Jell-O legs could barely make the fifty yards to my door. It swung open. There was Ivy, clutching her phone. Her eyes met mine as she dropped the phone and broke into a full sprint to me. I fell onto her like I had no bones. I was sobbing, my body still convulsing. Lord ran straight to me, knowing something was wrong.
“They were looking for me,” I said between hiccuping sobs.
Ivy pulled me into the living room. “Who were they? Why were they looking for you?”
“I’m not sure, but I think they’re in the same MC as that Joker guy.”
“I was calling Hawk.” She wiped off her phone, checking to see if it still worked.
“No, you can’t. It’s okay, Ivy. They didn’t stop.”
“The fuck I’m not,” she began dialing. “Hawk can and will want to help you.”
“No, Ivy, I don’t want Rage finding out. That’s the last thing I need. I’m leaving in a few days.”
Ivy forced me to sit. “What if I make Hawk promise not to tell Rage?”
Fuck, it didn’t matter what I said, Ivy would tell Hawk. It would be better to give up now and lay down the rules.
I felt a sense of relief a half hour later when Hawk pulled into the grave
l drive. I believed I could handle anything, that I could protect Paige. What a fool I was.
After getting Hawk to promise not to tell Rage, who might not care anyway, we explained to him what happened. He paced the floor. That couldn’t be good. His cheeks were full as he blew out a heavy breath. His hands were on each side of his temple as he thought about what the hell we were going to do.
“Nobody knows this, but I am leaving,” I admitted. Ivy’s eyes shot to mine, surprised that I told Hawk.
“I’m leaving next week,” I said somberly. Ivy came to my side, pulling me close.
“I have to go. You know about Marco. Antonio is going to get out of prison. I have to get as far away from here as I can and take my sister along before they find her, too.”
Hawk shook his head in agreement. “I get it,” he said, staring at the scar on my face like he had never seen it before. He pulled me against his chest for a hug. I hugged him back, squeezing him. I didn’t realize how badly I needed it. He kissed my head. “I’m going to miss you, girl.”
Hawk sat me down. “Rage is away on business. He isn’t coming back for another few days. Where he is, I couldn’t get him if I wanted to. Joker and his brothers have been spotted in several places around here. He must not have forgotten about you. I’m sending a prospect to stay with you until you leave.”
I reluctantly agreed, I needed some time to get everything together and tie up loose ends, at least I had a better chance at being safe with someone else here. This was the last push I needed to go; I had dragged my feet long enough. As sad as it made me, it was time to say goodbye to Sugar Maple.
An hour after Hawk had promised us a prospect, the vibrations of a very loud motorcycle made us aware that he was close. Hawk drew his gun until he could see it was Bodie who had arrived. Bodie was all smiles walking in. Bodie was first to volunteer when he found out about the detail. The boy couldn’t be more than twenty-two. He was blonde with a baby face. I bet he got carded everywhere he went. Was Hawk sure this guy could protect us? Well, I guessed anyone was better than no one.
