He swore. Leah wrenched her top down as she clambered off the sofa. The dog rushed to the front door, yipping with delight. Alex sat up and fumbled in his pocket for the phone.
His initial impulse was to hurl the phone across the floor. He stared at the caller ID.
‘Connor,’ he said. ‘What’s up, mate?’
‘It’s Grandad. He wants you to come back.’
‘Okay. I’ll be there in about half an hour.’ It’d take him at least that long to drive back down the freeway. He disconnected and pushed his phone back into his pocket. When he looked up, Leah was watching him.
‘When you live in a cul-de-sac people sometimes use your driveway to turn around,’ she said. It took him a second to realise she was talking about the headlights.
‘I have to go,’ he said, and stood up. He couldn’t keep the regret out of his voice. ‘The boys are with Dad and they want me to come home.’
‘Are they all right?’
‘Yes, they just want me back there,’ he said. He straightened his shirt and tucked it in. ‘I’m so sorry, Leah.’
‘Can’t be helped,’ she said. She went to the fire, took another log from the basket and knelt down on the mat. Her back was to him and he couldn’t see if she was disappointed, or relieved.
When she stood up he was right beside her and she didn’t resist when he pulled her into his arms and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
‘Why don’t you drive down tomorrow and meet Dad and the boys? Have lunch with us.’
She pulled back, slowly shaking her head as she removed his hands. ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea, Alex. Your time at home is precious.’
‘But I want to spend as much time with you as I can.’ He blew out a frustrated sigh. ‘We know what it’ll be like up there. It’ll be back to dodging around, pretending we hardly know each other.’
Sasha was sitting by the stairs watching them, her ears flat, sensing the tension in the room.
Leah moved away to perch on the arm of the sofa. ‘Alex, we do hardly know each other. I’m not sure what is happening here, but maybe we should put a halt to it before it goes any further —’
‘Why?’ he bit back, blue eyes stormy. ‘We’re not pimply youths, Leah. We both know our own minds. And bodies.’
‘Please, let me finish. We have to work together, that’s a given.I for one won’t be sneaking back and forth from your room to mine. I don’t want us to be the hot topic of conversation, like Phil and Dee. It will compromise both our positions. I’m only away from there six days a month, and you’re rarely away at all. If your father hadn’t been sick, you wouldn’t be here now.’ She threw out her arms and walked towards the front door. ‘We’re attracted to each other,I get that. But is there any point pursuing this, whatever it is?’
In several strides he caught up with her, grabbing her arm to spin her around. He framed her face with his hands, and a sound came from the back of her throat when his mouth covered hers. He felt her hesitate, then relief swept through him when she leaned into him.
‘That’s why this is worth pursuing,’ he said when he broke off the kiss. He reached for the jacket and slipped it on, pushing his feet into his boots. ‘Leah, I’ve been on my own for nearly three years. It’d probably be closer to four years since I’ve really kissed a woman . . . Since I’ve wanted to kiss a woman. And I want to do more than kiss you.’
Leah swallowed, pressing her fingertips to her lips.
‘Change your mind about coming down tomorrow. Please.’
He read the indecision in her grey eyes, and was dismayed when she shook her head. ‘I have stuff to do. Washing, packing, you know. It’s my last day home and I want to spend as much time with Sasha as I can.’
‘You could bring her with you. Dad would love her, so would Connor and Liam.’
‘No, I can’t,’ she said, more firmly, and he nodded like he understood.
‘I’ll see you at the airport Monday morning,’ she said.
‘I have a meeting at head office first thing, with Paul and a couple of the other suits. I’ll be catching the afternoon plane.’
‘Oh. Then I’ll see you for the daily debrief on Monday evening.’
‘You will,’ he said and opened the front door. ‘Don’t come out. It’s too cold. And it’s raining again.’ He looked down at her stockinged feet. ‘And you don’t have any shoes on.’
He was through the door when he stopped, turned back. ‘Are you wearing that sexy scarlet toenail varnish under those tights?’
She nodded. He groaned, closing his eyes. ‘Now you tell me.’
She pushed him out the door. ‘Go,’ she said, ‘or your son will be on the phone again.’
The door closed behind him with a final-sounding snick. He heard the safety chain slide home as he crossed the deck. When he climbed into his SUV he glanced up, and there she was, standing at the window watching him. She waved, and then the drapes closed, shutting him out.
On Sunday morning, the sky was clear but the ground was soggy underfoot, the foliage weighed down by a week’s worth of rain. While Leah optimistically hung out a basket of washing, Sasha bounced around the backyard in the watery sunshine. In the bright light of the morning, having that final glass of wine didn’t feel as personally empowering as it had when she’d emptied the bottle after Alex had gone.
She hadn’t wanted to think about anything; not about Alex and the hopelessness of her attraction to him; not about how much her body ached from being deprived of the completion it craved; not about how unfair circumstances could be.
As much as she’d wanted to sleep in – it being her last chance for the next three weeks – the overwhelming need for water had her hauling herself out of bed at seven. That and the fact she didn’t want to miss the only sunshine she’d seen all week.
Unable to bear the pounding headache any longer, Leah pegged out the last few clothes, went in and took two painkillers. Thank god an exhausting week and the last vestiges of commonsense had stopped her from opening another bottle. She groaned out loud.
Damn Alex for coming to her home and complicating things even further. She’d taken foolishness to another level by mixing reality with fantasy. Knowing he lusted after her in return made their situation impossible. How would she get through the next weeks and months?
By late morning her headache had eased. Telling herself to enjoy the remainder of her rest leave, she took toast and coffee and Rose’s Sunday Mail outside and dragged a chair into a shaft of sunshine on the front deck. Sasha perched at her feet and stared at the toast intently, before pricking her ears at the sound of an approaching vehicle.
Expecting it to be another turnaround, Leah looked up from the newspaper and frowned when the white SUV didn’t reverse back out the driveway but drove up beside the house and stopped. When the driver’s door opened and Alex climbed out, her heart missed a beat before accelerating into the red zone.
‘You wouldn’t come to us, so we came to you,’ Alex said, his expression inscrutable.
Leah gaped at him. Her fuzzy brain struggled to manage the multitude of emotions vying for attention. Sasha sped down the stairs, tail spinning like a rotor.
Leah’s gaze darted to the vehicle in time to see two identical, surly looking youths emerge. The resemblance to their father was unmistakable.
The dog made a beeline for the closest twin, who obligingly dropped to his knees to return Sasha’s exuberant greeting.
Leah pressed her lips together. ‘You’re not playing fair,’ she said to Alex, and he had the audacity to wink at her, making her all hot and flustered. Before she could gather her scattered thoughts, an older version of Alex unfolded himself stiffly from the front passenger seat. Now there were four pairs of blue eyes watching her expectantly.
‘I’ll put the kettle on,’ she said, and Alex’s shoulders relaxed.
Alex’s father followed the others inside and Leah held the door open for him. He was thin, his cheeks gaunt, but it wasn’t that many weeks
since he’d had open heart surgery. He shook her hand with a firm grip, introducing himself as Fergus McKinley. His gaze was clear and assessing. Leah’s first impression was that nothing would slip past the older man.
When Alex introduced his sons, Leah knew the only way she’d tell them apart was by what they were wearing – Connor wore a black hoodie and Liam an electric blue t-shirt. Whatever happened she hoped they didn’t take them off.
Leah stoked up the slow combustion fire and helped Fergus get settled on the sofa. She offered them tea and coffee and carrot cake Rose had made for her but she hadn’t eaten.
‘Sofa looks comfortable, Dad,’ Alex said, grinning at Leah. He raised his eyebrows when he zeroed in on the empty wine bottle on the sideboard.
Leah suddenly felt overly hot, and dashed to the kitchen to make the drinks. She wondered what he’d told his family about her.
The boys disappeared into the backyard to throw the tennis ball for Sasha. As she stood at the sink she could hear them laughing and Sasha barking. The backyard hadn’t seen this kind of action since the last time Richard’s nieces and nephews had visited.
‘I told them we were work colleagues, and friends,’ Alex murmured, close to her ear.
She jumped.
‘We are, aren’t we?’ he said.
The Milo she was spooning into mugs for Connor and Liam spilled onto the bench. ‘How did you know that was what I was thinking?’
‘Lucky guess.’
‘Here, make yourself useful,’ she said and thrust the container of milk at him.
He laughed.
‘It’s not funny,’ she said and that made him laugh even louder.
Five minutes later the boys were back inside, Sasha dogging their heels.
‘Dad,’ Connor said, ‘you should see how high Sasha can jump to catch the ball. It’s awesome.’
She smiled at Liam, who seemed the quieter of the two. ‘Do you have a dog at home?’
‘Nope.’
‘Mum says she’s allergic,’ Connor added and nudged his brother.
‘Oh, I see. That’s a shame.’
Leah set the cake and Milo on the kitchen table. Connor and Liam pulled out chairs and flopped down in that awkward, loose-limbed way of lanky teenage boys. They thanked her politely, and then fell on the food ravenously. Alex shook his head and muttered something about not being able to take them anywhere.
He loaded the coffee machine like a pro and made himself and Leah coffee. Leah took Fergus tea and cake and Sasha dropped down at his feet. He reached out and petted the dog.
‘She’s gorgeous,’ he said.
‘Yes, she is.’
‘You live alone?’
‘I do.’
‘Then you’d appreciate the company.’ His words were said with such longing they pulled Leah up short. Taking a moment, she looked at Alex’s father, really looked at him, transfixed by the smile of pure joy that wiped at least five years off his weathered features as he handled Sasha. The dog lapped up the attention with equal fervour. Returning to the kitchen, she wondered if Alex and his sisters realised how lonely their father was.
When Connor and Liam asked if they could take the dog for a walk, Leah hesitated for a second and then fetched the lead from a hook by the back door.
‘There’s a small park at the bottom of this road, and please don’t let her off the lead. She’ll chase the rabbits.’
The boys went off with the dog, and after drinking his tea and eating a second piece of cake, Fergus dozed on the sofa in front of the fire. Alex faced Leah across the kitchen table. They were as alone as they’d ever be, for now.
‘You should have phoned before you came,’ she said.
‘Yeah, you’re right. But I knew what you’d say.’
‘So you brought the whole damn family along and hoped for the best?’
A smile tugged at his lips. ‘I was counting on you being too polite to turn away an old man and children.’
‘They’re hardly children, and your father isn’t what I’d call an old man. He’s been unwell, and he’s lonely.’
‘Dad lonely? What makes you think that? He’s been on his own for years now. Heather sees him every few days. He goes and stays with Lisa’s family a couple of times a year, and I stay whenever I’m home. I reckon he does pretty well.’
‘I’m sure he does, but he’s just had major surgery. You said he nearly died. He’s recovering but he’s unlikely to get back to his pre-surgery level of fitness – the older we get the harder it is to bounce back. I bet he’s concerned about how he’s going to cope on his own.’
‘So what are you saying?’ The words were barely out before Alex held up his hand. ‘Sorry,’ he said, ‘I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just —’
‘You don’t want it to be your problem,’ Leah said. ‘You have enough to deal with already, without adding a dependent parent to the list.’
‘Am I that transparent?’ Alex cringed. ‘But you’re right. As much as I’m loath to say it. And knowing Dad, he’d hate to think he was dependent on anyone.’
‘You’re his family, Alex. Who else is there to look out for him while he’s vulnerable like this? I’m sure he’ll be back on his feet in no time, but my guess is that he’s feeling quite anxious right about now.’
‘What do you suggest?’ he said with a quick glance over his shoulder to where Fergus was napping, barely a room away.
‘Ask him what he needs, what he wants, what he envisages for his future. I guarantee he’s thinking about it. And it might be different from what you and your sisters think.’
‘Hmmph,’ was all Alex came up with.
Leah chuckled and leaned across the table, forcing him to look at her again. ‘It’s not the end of the world. I’m sure he doesn’t expect you give up your job and come home to look after him. Like I said last night, there’re a raft of services available out there. And I don’t think he’s ready to give up yet.’
‘I’ll have to talk to Heather and Lisa.’
‘Then talk to them. Solving problems and managing risk is what you do best, Alex.’
Leah rose to her feet and collected up the plates while Alex sat and brooded. She leaned in to reach for his empty coffee mug, bracing her hand on his shoulder.
‘And while we’re being honest here,’ she said, close enough for her to feel his breath on her cheek, ‘my guess is part of what your dad wants, and needs, is you around more often. I bet Connor and Liam probably wouldn’t mind seeing their father more often either.’
Her face was level with his and in a heartbeat Leah watched his anger evaporate, only to be replaced by another type of burn. He lifted his hand, pushed his fingers into her hair and cupped the back of her head, urging her closer.
His mouth was warm, wet, insistent. ‘You taste like icing,’ he murmured against her lips.
Someone cleared their throat. Leah froze. In her peripheral vision she could see Fergus standing at the top of the steps that led from the living area to the kitchen. The old man leaned heavily on the bannister.
‘Fergus? Are you all right?’
‘I’m fine. I was looking for the bathroom.’
Leah’s cheeks were flaming and Alex did nothing to suppress a smile. She stepped back. ‘Up the next stairs and to your right,’ she said.
‘Carry on,’ Fergus said, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.
Leah grabbed the empty mug and Alex reached for her again.
‘Really?’ she said and swatted his hand away.
‘You know you have the most gorgeous backside,’ he said, sending her an admiring glance as she leaned over to stack the crockery into the dishwasher. ‘How will I ever share an office with you for the next three weeks without wanting to touch it?’
‘Cold showers?’
‘Not enough water.’
A door closed, followed by the sound of running water. Fergus would be back any minute.
‘Alex, as much as I’ve enjoyed your visit, I have a lot to do before I get on
that plane tomorrow morning.’
‘I know,’ he said. He glanced at his watch and pushed himself to his feet, sliding the chair back under the table. ‘We’ll get out of your hair.’
Fergus navigated his way down the six steps. ‘You have a beautiful home, Leah,’ he said, taking in the modern and spacious kitchen. ‘And the garden . . . A lot to manage on your own, I’d imagine.’
‘I’ll go round up Connor and Liam,’ Alex said.
‘They’re back from the park. They went past the kitchen window with Sasha a minute ago,’ Leah said.
Alex took the steps two at a time but was still in earshot when she replied, ‘I wasn’t always on my own, Fergus.’
Leah held Sasha on a short leash as Connor and Liam piled into the back of the SUV. Fergus shook her hand formally. ‘It was lovely to meet a colleague of Alex’s,’ he said, his eyes twinkling. ‘I hope we meet again soon.’
‘It was nice to meet you too,’ Leah answered and ignored the innuendo.
Alex had said his goodbye while they were still in the house, after the others had made their way outside. He’d pulled her hard against his chest and slammed his mouth against hers in a hot, hurried kiss. ‘I’ll see you soon,’ he’d whispered, before reluctantly letting her go. There was so much Leah had wanted to say . . .
After they’d gone, Leah stood in the middle of the living area, hands on her hips. ‘Well, where do I start?’ she said out loud. The dog flopped down and looked up at her with soulful eyes, tail swishing half-heartedly across the floorboards.
She spent the remainder of the afternoon ironing, tidying the house, emptying the few perishables from the fridge and packing for the next three weeks away.
It was getting dark and Sasha was skittish, as if sensing the impending separation.
‘I’m sorry, babe,’ Leah said and hunkered down beside the dog. ‘But I need to keep this roof over our heads and biscuits in your bowl.’
She fed the dog and zapped a tin of baked beans for her own dinner. A glass, or two, of wine would be nice, she thought. Anything to dull the hollow longing she felt whenever Alex popped into her thoughts, which was most of the time. But she had an early start in the morning, and a vague headache from the night before. The wine would stay in the rack.
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