“What are you doing here in the middle of the night?” a sleepy Josie asked me, while rubbing the fog from her eyes. Her blue hair was wilder than usual, sticking up everywhere. She had washed off all of the dark makeup she usually wore, and was actually pretty with just her bare face. I barely recognized her.
“My parents want to put me in rehab. What am I going to do?” I wailed.
“Shhh, you’ll wake my mom and dad. Come in.” Josie stepped aside while I climbed through the open window.
I spent the next several minutes telling her all about the fight I had with my parents, embellishing my part in it, to make myself sound way tougher than I actually was with my parents. I couldn’t help myself. For some reason I found it necessary to always make myself sound better to Josie than I really was. I’m not sure if she was fooled or not. She said she was sorry all of that happened, but what could she do?
“Aren’t you going to help me?” I asked her, unsure why I even had to ask. Josie was my best friend. Why wouldn’t she want to help? “Did your parents get mad when they found out about the drugs?”
“They don’t care. They never have. They just told me to be careful and that was that. But, I can’t let you stay here. My parents would never allow that. I’m sorry.” Josie really did seem to feel sorry. Her parents didn’t really pay much attention to her, but they wouldn’t let one of her friends crash there, that she was sure of. “You can stay tonight, but you have to leave very early, before they wake up,” she told me.
“Are you freaking kidding me? This is all your fault. You are the one that got me taking drugs, stealing from my parents and other people, and got me into this. Now you aren’t going to do anything? You’re just going to abandon me?” I was furious. It was a side of me that I hadn’t really seen before. I didn’t know I had it in me.
“Just get out,” Josie said calmly, pointing toward the window.
“Never mind! I don’t need your help,” I yelled.
At that point, I didn’t care if I woke up anyone else in the house. I crawled out the window and dropped clumsily to the ground. Josie slammed it quickly behind me, almost catching my fingers in it. I glared at her and walked away into the darkness, as I saw her bedroom light go out. I wondered why I had ever hung out with her at all. She obviously didn’t care what happened to me. She was all about Josie.
Now what was I going to do? I couldn’t go back home after making such a spectacle of myself and storming out like that. Luckily it was a nice night, and I just wandered around until daylight, trying to figure out my next move.
I hadn’t thought any of it through. I ended up spending the next two days sleeping in unlocked cars. I used up the few dollars I had on drugs and ran out of money pretty quickly. I had almost no food and had no choice but to go back home. I was starving.
When I arrived home, my parents were so happy to have me back, that they temporarily forgot the reason I left in the first place. Even though it had been only a couple of days, my mother said I looked skinny and made me a sandwich. I scarfed it down like I had never eaten before, which is exactly what it felt like. I was so hungry, I couldn’t eat it fast enough. My mother saw how hungry I was and made me another sandwich, which I ate almost as fast.
For several days, no one mentioned drugs, rehab, or the fact that I had stolen all of the money out of my mother’s wallet when I left. Because they were so happy to have me back, I sensed that they were afraid to ruin it.
I took some time to think about what I was doing and realized that my life was in a downward spiral. So I decided to try and straighten up. I went back to school and tried to get off the drugs. That part wasn’t so easy for me. I felt like I needed the drugs to cope with life. Was I addicted? I didn’t want to admit it, but I probably was.
“Whatcha doin’?” Josie came up to me a few days after starting back to school.
“Nothing,” I said, still angry with Josie for not helping me. But I did miss having a friend.
“Let’s hang out after school,” Josie said. “I’ll meet you in the parking lot.” She walked away before I had a chance to say no.
Over the next few weeks, I went back to my same old ways with Josie. We frequently got high and missed a lot of school. And, I started fighting a lot with my parents. They tried to reign me in, but it wasn’t working. They just didn’t understand me. After about the hundredth fight, I had had enough. One morning, I grabbed my things and left the house for school, and never went back.
I didn’t even go to Josie this time. Josie wouldn’t care. She lived in her own little world, and if it didn’t affect her, then there was no point in bothering her about it. I knew my parents would be devastated when I didn’t return home, with no note or call or anything. At that point, the drugs had such a strong hold on me that I just didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything or anyone.
I hitchhiked my way south to New York City and I spent weeks sleeping in empty cars and buildings, and foraging for food. I got odd jobs here and there doing yard work, even cleaning houses, but none of it lasted. I even broke into empty houses and cars and stole anything I thought I could sell. Then I spent all of my money on drugs, I just couldn’t help it. It was more important to me to be high, than to have food. I started to get really skinny and sick all the time. I knew that I couldn’t continue to live like that. It was a reckless way to live and it would kill me eventually.
I managed to get myself arrested a couple of times on petty theft and drug charges, and even spent my 15th birthday in jail. How sad is that? Luckily, there were no witnesses and no proof and they couldn’t hold me. They didn’t even know my real name and thought I was eighteen, so had no reason to call my parents.
One night while sleeping in an abandoned house, I woke up with a start as someone jumped on me. I never saw a weapon, but I fought fiercely for my life anyway, not really knowing what his true intentions were. Somehow I broke free from him and I ran out into the night, grabbing my duffel bag on my way out.
I knew I was extremely lucky that I got away, and it was the scariest thing that had ever happened to me. It took a while, but I eventually saw myself for what I was, a homeless drug addict. I knew that if I didn’t do something about it immediately, I might not be so lucky next time. If I didn’t die at the hands of some other homeless person, then I would probably die from the drugs, or even starvation. I was in a desperate way and needed to find another way to survive.
With the help of a woman I met that worked at a homeless shelter I was able to get into rehab. It’s ironic that if I had just stayed home and gone into rehab when my parents wanted me to, I wouldn’t be in the mess I was currently in. The facility was run by the state and was free, which is the only way I was going to get in. I didn’t have a penny to my name and knew I wouldn’t last one more day out in the world.
Rehab was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. During the first few days, I just knew I was going to die. Then something wonderful happened. The fog lifted, I started feeling better and was clear headed for the first time in months. Oh, I still wanted to get high, but I had people that helped me with that and I knew that I would make it through. After about a month in the facility, it was time for me to leave. The woman from the shelter came to visit me and gave me some money to get started. It wasn’t much at all, but at least I would not starve while I looked for a job.
Chapter 5
Having decided that I needed to get out of the big city, and try to make a life elsewhere, I made my way to a small town called Ashford, in Maine. It was near the coast and the cutest town I have ever seen. I looked for a job for a few days and had no luck. I was a bit scruffy from my time on the streets. Most people took one look at me and all of a sudden the job was filled. I guess that’s my own fault.
I made friends, well sort of, with a young man that worked at a local restaurant. I would stand outside of it during the day, hoping someone would buy me a meal, which they did occasionally. I think he felt sorry for me.
One
day he walked up to chat as usual during his lunch break. He brought me a burger that someone said was too well done and had sent back. I didn’t care. I was so hungry. As I wolfed it down, he started talking.
“Are you looking for a job?” he asked me.
“Yes. I need one badly,” I said with my mouth full.
“Well, I know someone that works at the horse breeding farm outside of town and he said they are looking for a cook’s assistant. I guess theirs just quit. Can you cook?”
“I’m actually a pretty good cook. Where do I apply?”
“I don’t know. It’s at the Tyler Estate. I guess you could just go out there.”
He proceeded to give me directions while I finished my burger. I thanked him and started walking. I realized then that I never did ask him his name. I would have to find that out later.
About 45 minutes later I reached the estate. It was a beautiful sunny day and I didn’t mind walking. I was a bit sweaty by the time I arrived though. I have to say that I was amazed. It was the most impressive house I have ever seen. It had a tree lined driveway that seemed to stretch for miles, and the house was huge. I have never seen one so large. It was on a huge ranch with a lot of horses and people working there. A few of the ranch hands looked at me strangely as I walked up to the house, but that didn’t matter. This was probably my last shot at survival.
As I walked up to the circular driveway heading to the front door, it suddenly opened. A young couple walked out, followed by an older gentleman. He was probably an employee by the looks of him. He looked about 60 years old, but was well over six feet tall and a bit more than 200 pounds. He had dark eyes and dark hair, that was just starting to gray at the temples. Even at his age, he was an imposing man. I wondered if he was their body guard.
“How many servants do we have? Two? And I’m expected to do everything else?” the woman wailed at what looked to be her husband, as they walked toward their car. The older gentleman walked around them and opened the back door for them.
“You know we have a lot more than two people working here, Sarah,” He replied.
The woman was in her 20s. I would say she was pretty, certainly not beautiful. She had short, brunette hair and in the few seconds that I observed her, she seemed to have an air about her that said she was not really that friendly, like she was better than everyone else.
Just then, they noticed me. They both stopped and looked at me curiously.
“Can we help you?” the woman called Sarah asked me. She looked me up and down and obviously did not like what she saw.
I couldn’t really blame her. I walked up wearing faded jeans with a large hole in the left knee, a ratty t-shirt with a picture of Jim Morrison on it, and even rattier tennis shoes. This was almost everything I owned. I knew better than to show up dressed like that, but had no other choice. I had very little makeup on and looked a bit scruffy. I had been living on the streets for a few weeks and obviously didn’t look my best. Now that I was off drugs it was time to put my life back together, get a job and become a productive human being. I knew this was what I wanted, even at 15 years old.
“Hi,” I said, feeling a little shy, and way underdressed. I never imagined that they would see me right on the spot. I wasn’t prepared for an interview, and certainly wasn’t dressed for one. Not that it would have made any difference. My other clothes were no better. “A guy I met in town said you were looking for a cook.” I looked down at my feet.
As I looked back up, Sarah gave me a look of disapproval, so her husband stepped in.
“Hello,” he said, reaching out to shake my hand. “I’m Adam Tyler and this is my wife, Sarah,” he told me, motioning toward her.
“Hi,” I said again, and looked over at Sarah. “I’m really sorry I’m dressed this way,” looking down at my worn clothing and brushing imaginary things off of my shirt while talking. “I didn’t think I would be meeting you right now. But, I could really use a job. I’m a good cook.”
“Who in the world shows up at the door unannounced?” Sarah asked. She obviously didn’t care that I was standing right there.
Adam just shrugged his shoulders without even looking her way.
“Maybe I should come back later,” I said, turning to leave.
“It’s perfectly all right,” Adam told me. I don’t know why, but he seemed to like me, or at least was just a nice person. “What is your name?”
“Abigail. Well..Abbey.” I stuttered, nervously.
“Abigail, we have a few minutes before we have to leave. Why don’t you come in and sit down. We can have a talk.” He motioned toward the door, and the doorman, or whatever he was, walked around us toward the front door.
“It’s Abbey. No one calls me Abigail,” I said shyly, noticing how cute Adam Tyler was. He was tall, and not much older than I was. He had sandy colored hair and the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen. I knew immediately that I had better keep my distance from him.
“Okay, Abbey then,” he responded, and smiled my way. I think he could tell I was very nervous and he wanted to make me feel a little more comfortable. I smiled shyly back.
“Well this is very out of the ordinary. We usually go through the employment service in town,” Sarah said, looking at both of us.
“Sorry,” I said and again turned to leave. This woman was not giving me a job today.
“Wait,” Adam called after me. Sarah and I both stopped in our tracks and turned to face Adam.
“You just said that we need more help around here. Why don’t you at least talk to her? It can’t hurt,” Adam said to Sarah.
Sarah thought for a moment. This was a woman that really didn’t like her routines deviated from. That was obvious from the moment I met her. Perhaps she thought it made her look weak. Even though she herself was only in her twenties, I think she wanted to make sure everyone knew she was not to be messed with. She was in charge.
“I don’t know, Adam. How would that look?”
“Look to who? Just talk to the girl already,” he responded. It seemed that he liked to keep things simple. “What is the point in going through an agency, when there is someone standing at our door wanting a job? She did say she was a good cook.” He looked over at me and smiled again.
Reluctantly, Sarah agreed. “Okay John, show her in.” She said to the doorman, without looking at him directly. She flicked her hand at him in a dismissive manner. He opened the door, they entered first, then me, followed by John. They led me to a large, but cozy room.
“Thank you,” Adam said, and John disappeared quickly.
Adam motioned to an open chair across from a couch that Sarah sat down on. Then he sat down next to her.
The room was a library. It had floor to ceiling books on every wall. I was mesmerized, but needed to concentrate on the people sitting across from me. I could check it out later, if I got the job.
Up until this point, Sarah hadn’t said much. She didn’t like the looks of me. I could tell. I was scruffy, I know.
“So, where have you worked before?” Sarah asked me bluntly.
I was a bit startled at Sarah’s sudden question, and hesitated a moment while I thought about what I should say. I realized then that I was completely unprepared for an interview. Why in the world did I just show up without trying to dress a bit nicer and at least rehearsing the answers to some questions I might be asked? I probably looked and sounded like an idiot.
“Well?” Sarah was starting to get impatient, and gave Adam a look that said ‘Why are we wasting our time with her?’
Adam patted her hand, and gave her a ‘just be patient’ look.
They both looked back to me for an answer.
“Well, I have done a lot of odd jobs. Nothing long term, all under the table. I know I really don’t have any references, but I really am a good cook and if you just give me a chance, I’ll prove it to you.” It really wasn’t the answer she was expecting, I’m sure. But, it was all I had.
“What is your last name?” Sarah
asked. She must have realized that I had only said ‘Abigail’ when introducing myself.
“Oh, well…it’s Hunter.” I blurted out. That was the name of an old boyfriend, and the only name I could come up with on the spot. I didn’t want them to know my real name. I was a runaway and was afraid that if the cops found out, I would be arrested, because I had some petty theft and minor drug charges against me. Those charges had been dropped, but I didn’t know if they could be revived upon me getting arrested for being a runaway or not. So, I lied. I prayed that they wouldn’t see right through me.
“How old are you?” Adam asked me.
I knew that if I told them I was 15, they would probably call the cops, or at the very least, kick me to the curb. “I’m 18,” I lied. They seemed to believe me.
“Well, the cook’s assistant just quit, so we are shorthanded. I don’t see any reason why we can’t give you a chance to prove that you can cook,” Adam told me.
Sarah glared at him. But, I could tell that she didn’t want to argue with him in front of anyone. She probably thought it was tacky. So, she let it go for the time being. I had a feeling that they would talk about it later.
“That would be fantastic. Thank you!” I jumped up and grabbed his hand to shake it. When I reached for Sarah’s hand, she jerked it back as if I had just bitten her. I knew immediately that I was going to have trouble with the lady of the house.
“When do you want me to start?” I asked. “I have to go find a place to stay first.”
“Oh, no, I don’t think you understand,” Adam replied. “This job comes with a room in the staffs’ quarters.”
I was shocked. “What? I can move in here? Oh wow. I don’t know what to say.” I started to tear up. I had been living on the streets so long and couldn’t even imagine having my own place to stay, even just a simple room in such a beautiful place.
“Of course,” Adam said. “Go get your things. You can start right away.”
“Thank you so much!” I turned my head away so they wouldn’t see the tears. “I’ll go get my things. They are just outside in a duffle bag.” I headed for the door.
A Reckless Life Page 3
