A Reckless Life

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A Reckless Life Page 9

by Michelle Files


  As I was standing by the buffet, deep in thought, someone walked up beside me, which brought me back into the moment. I noticed immediately how cute he was and smiled to myself. He was probably 17 or 18 years old and just started talking to me out of nowhere. He told me that his name was Ben and that he was a bit bored, because most of the people at the party were well over 30, and many closer to Violet’s age. It was her party after all. Not many were teenagers, so I guess that’s why he sought me out. He was really friendly and we hit it off. He was easy to talk to and we started flirting a bit. It was all just harmless fun.

  At one point during our conversation I looked over and noticed Adam watching us intently, with a scowl on his face. It was a little unnerving.

  “Are you okay?” Ben asked me. I guess I wasn’t hiding my uneasiness very well.

  “What?..Oh, yes, I’m fine.” Stuttering a bit, I tore my eyes away from Adam and tried to concentrate on Ben.

  “Well, you seem upset all of a sudden.”

  “No. No, I’m fine. Sorry, I just lost my concentration for a minute.” I tried to sound calm.

  Without even talking to Adam, I could see by his expression that he was very unhappy watching me flirt with Ben. I tried my best to ignore him, but it wasn’t working. I kept looking over at him, without even meaning to.

  “What do you keep looking at?” Ben asked me, while looking in the direction my eyes were pointed in.

  I quickly turned to look at him. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it. I just thought I saw someone I knew. So, what were we talking about?”

  Just then, I felt someone grab my arm and yank me away from my conversation. I looked up to see that it was Adam. I was shocked and I gave him an incredulous stare. What in the world could he have possibly been thinking, grabbing me away from Ben like that, in front of everyone? He pulled me out the staff’s entrance door, into the hallway that led to the kitchen. I didn’t even have to look behind me to know that there were lots of curious eyes watching us. I wondered what in the world Ben must have been thinking at that moment. He did nothing to stop Adam though. What could he possibly do anyway? Adam was the heir to the ranch. I doubt anyone would have challenged him. Adam knew that too.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Adam hissed at me once the door to the ballroom was closed and he had scanned the hallway for prying ears.

  I yanked my arm away from him. “What are you talking about?”

  “That guy. Who is that?” His green eyes flared with anger.

  “I don’t know. Ben. I just met him. He came with his parents.”

  “Well I don’t like it.”

  Just then one of the catering staff pushed past us with a tray of food. Adam opened the door for her. We could hear the music and conversations waft in. Obviously, there wasn’t a crowd standing there with their ears all glued to the door. It seemed that no one cared where we went. There was a lot of free flowing booze. Maybe no one would even remember him manhandling me out the door.

  “I don’t really care if you like it. We were just talking. Do I not have the right to have a conversation with someone now? What am I, your property?” I knew I was being defiant, and was probably going to make matters worse, but at that moment I didn’t care. He had a wife and I was not throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of a huge party whenever he talked to her.

  Snapping at Adam seemed to calm him down a bit. That wasn’t the reaction I expected at all. Just the opposite actually.

  “Of course you are not my property. I just want you all to myself. I hate to admit it, but it really bothers me when you talk to other guys.” He seemed sincere and was at least being honest.

  “Yeah, I can tell. Adam, you have nothing to worry about. You are the one I’m with. The one I want. Not him. I was just trying to pass the time. Ben was bored and wanted someone to talk to. That’s it. I seriously doubt I’ll ever see him again after tonight.”

  “I certainly hope not.”

  “I..” Just as I started to protest, we were interrupted when Sarah came walking through the door from the ballroom, looking for Adam.

  She took one look at the both of us and frowned. “What’s going on in here? I was looking for you and your mother said she saw the two of you headed this way. She said you looked angry.” She was speaking directly to Adam.

  “Nothing’s going on,” Adam replied. “I just needed to talk to Abbey about the food. Everything’s fine. Let’s go.”

  With that, he put out his elbow for her to take and they walked back into the ballroom together. He never even looked back at me. He had the nerve to yell at me for just talking to another man, while he was still married and hiding me from everyone. I knew why, but I still didn’t like it.

  I took a couple of minutes to take some deep breaths and calm down before I returned to the party. Thanks to Adam, I just wanted to go to my room and forget about everything for a while. I heard a voice call after me as I was walking through the party toward the exit.

  “Abbey!” It was Huck.

  I stopped to see what he wanted.

  “Are you okay?” he asked me.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I saw Adam drag you out of the ballroom. We all saw him do it. You were the talk of the party after that.” Huck told me.

  “Oh great, just what I need.”

  “What happened?” It didn’t seem that he was going to let it go.

  “Nothing. He just wanted to talk to me about the food.” I hoped Adam’s story to Sarah would work on Huck too.

  “I don’t believe you. I watched him force you out of the room. He looked really mad.” Huck did appear to be genuinely concerned about me.

  “No. Don’t be so dramatic. It was nothing. Look, I’m not feeling very well, so I’m going to my room to lay down. Please just go back to the party. I’m sure Teresa doesn’t appreciate being left all alone so you can come over and talk to me.” With that I walked out.

  Chapter 15

  During the next few months, Huck and I became even closer friends and I loved him dearly. My life would not be the same without him. He had been dating Teresa, the ranch’s horse trainer, for a little while. Even though there was about a ten year age difference, they seemed like a great fit. I knew they were happy together. Teresa and I became closer friends too. We all hung out a lot, mostly at the coffee house. It was really nice having people around that cared for me. I had missed that.

  We had many deep conversations about our families and our lives. Huck knew more about me than anyone else on the planet, and I just adored him. He spoke often about his little sister, Madison. She died a while back from cancer. It was obvious that it was still very painful for him. Because she was several years younger than him, there was no sibling rivalry between the two of them. She was the love of his life by the way he talked about her. He would have done anything for her. But, no matter what, he couldn’t save her. I could tell that tore him apart. As much as he talked about Madison, I felt like I knew her, even though she died long before Huck and I ever met. It was comforting knowing that he could love someone so deeply. I knew we would always be best friends. I wasn’t as close with Teresa, but I still liked her very much.

  One day, Huck and I had lunch while Teresa was at work. I had the day off and we were just walking around town window shopping. The afternoon was a bit cool and breezy. When it started raining, we ducked into the library. I had only been there once, briefly, when waiting for Adam to show up for our trip. But that time I didn’t spend any time exploring the library. I just waited at a table for Adam. This time I paid more attention. It was the cutest, most charming library I had ever seen. It even had a small coffee shop in it. Well, more like a coffee counter with a couple of tables nearby. We both ordered a hot coffee to warm us up and sat down at one of the tables to wait out the storm.

  We made small talk for a few minutes, but Huck seemed to have something else on his mind. Something that he wasn’t talking about. He seemed distant and distracted.

  �
��What is it?” I asked him.

  “What do you mean?” He looked confused.

  “You have something on your mind. Spill,” I told him with a smile.

  “Oh. Well, okay. Um, you know that I’ve been seeing Teresa for a little while now, right?” It wasn’t really a question. He knew that I was well aware of their relationship. We had all hung out many times.

  “Yeah, so?”

  “Well, I don’t think I want to see her anymore.”

  “What? Why?” I was really surprised. I thought they were happy together and I really liked Teresa. I didn’t want to see them split up.

  “Um, well, there’s someone else. I think I’m in love with someone else.” He couldn’t look me in the eyes.

  “Really? Who?” The conversation was finally starting to get interesting.

  “I don’t know. Never mind.” He looked out the window. “The rain is starting to let up. We should go.”

  He started to get up out of his chair and I reached across the table and grabbed his arm. “Whoa, wait a minute partner. You are not getting away that easy,” I said as I pulled him gently back into his chair. “I am your best friend and you need to tell me who it is, right now, before I hurt you.” I gave him my best cheesy smile. He couldn’t help but smile back.

  “No, I can’t. I don’t think you are going to like it.” He stared into his coffee.

  “Why not? I mean Teresa is nice, but if she isn’t the one for you, you need to be with the one you love. Is it a guy? It is, isn’t it? Is that what all the secrecy is about?” I knew he wasn’t gay. It was just fun teasing him.

  “Okay, now I’m leaving.” He pretended to be angry and started rising from his chair. He wasn’t mad. He was teasing back.

  “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I was just kidding. But really, who is she?” I really wanted to know. He sat back down again.

  “Well, all right. I guess I started this whole thing, no getting out of it now. It’s you, okay? You are the one I want to be with.”

  Dead silence. That was not what I was expecting at all and I had no idea how to respond. I knew he had a crush on me, but I thought that was over when he started getting serious with Teresa. I guess I was wrong.

  “Oh,” was the only sound I could make. I think I was in shock.

  “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know.” He seemed embarrassed by his proclamation of love. I could tell he wanted to take it all back. Too late for that. I couldn’t unhear it.

  “Look, Huck, you know that I’m in love with Adam. I haven’t made it a secret. Not with you anyway.” I felt really bad, all of a sudden.

  “I know. He’s terrible for you though. That can never go anywhere. He’s married and he is the heir to a fortune. His mother would never, ever allow him to divorce Sarah and marry you. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth.”

  He wasn’t wrong. Even still, I had to defend myself.

  “No, you’re wrong. I have no idea how, but we are in love and will figure it all out. I know he wants to be with me, not his wife. I don’t know what we are going to do about Sarah, but Violet won’t live forever.” It wasn’t a threat, but almost sounded like one.

  I continued. “You know I love you. You are my best friend. But, it’s not the same thing that I feel for Adam.” I put my hand over his on the table in a comforting gesture. He pulled his hand back away from me. I understood. “I’m sorry, but it will never be like that. Can you accept that?” I was as sincere and gentle with him as I could possibly be. It was killing me that I was breaking his heart.

  He sat there quietly for a moment. “Well, I guess I have to, don’t I? I can’t make you feel something that you don’t.” He seemed so sad, turning his face away from mine.

  The last thing I wanted to do was break Huck’s heart. Unfortunately there was no way to keep from doing just that. It hurt me deeply to cause him such pain. Maybe one day he could forgive me and just be happy for Adam and me. I knew it would probably be a while until that happened though.

  “We should probably go, don’t you think?” I said, really wanting to end the conversation.

  Huck looked outside at the weather, which had changed to a dull gray drizzle. It didn’t appear that it was going to get much better the longer was sat there, so he agreed.

  “I’ll give you a ride home. You can’t walk in this.” Even after I just broke his heart in two, he was still so kind to me.

  The ride home was silent and uncomfortable. Luckily it was a short ride back. I’m not sure what Huck expected to get out of telling me that he loved me. He had to know that I didn’t feel the same way about him.

  When we arrived back at the ranch, Huck walked me to the front door. Always the gentleman.

  “Do you want to come in?” I said, hoping he would say no. After what he said to me in the library, we needed some time apart. I could tell that we were both feeling a bit uncomfortable.

  “Um, no thanks. I have to get to work anyway. I have the evening shift.” He turned and left.

  Violet was sitting in the living room, sipping hot tea, and who knows what else, when I walked in. I didn’t even notice her at first, as I walked over to sit on the couch and think about what had just happened. I did love Huck. He was my best friend. But, Adam was the one my heart wanted. As taboo as that was, it was the truth. There was nothing else in the world I wanted more than to be with Adam. I honestly didn’t care that he was rich. His money wasn’t important to me. He was. We could go work some lame jobs somewhere and live in a crappy apartment, eating bread and water for every meal, for all I cared. None of that mattered, as long as we were together. That’s all I wanted in my life. I smiled at the thought of Adam leaving his posh life for some crappy apartment with me. I knew he loved me, but he would probably draw the line at that.

  “What are you smiling about?” Violet startled me. I thought I was alone.

  “Oh, hi,” I said to her, when I looked up and saw her watching me. It was a little weird, she hadn’t said a word until just then. It kind of gave me the creeps.

  “Abigail.” That was it. No ‘hello’ or anything. Just my name. It was just like her.

  “Is there something going on between you and your little colored friend?” she asked me.

  It only took a second to register what she had just said and I jumped up out of my seat. “My what? Oh my god, don’t call him that!” I yelled at her.

  She sighed heavily at that. She was clearly annoyed, but remained calm.

  “Abigail, please, sit down. You are making a scene.”

  I looked around the room. “I’m making a scene? We are the only two people here.”

  “It’s just an expression, Abigail. Besides, there are several people that live in this house. Anyone could overhear us at any time. So, please keep your voice down,” she said calmly.

  I didn’t sit down as instructed. “My friend has a name. It’s Huck. I would appreciate it if you would call him by his actual name when you talk about him, not that racist term. He is a person, and would prefer to be referred to as such.” I was not backing down. It was important that she knew her hateful words were not okay with me.

  “Really, don’t be so dramatic. When I was growing up, that’s what we called them. And this is my house, I’ll say anything I want.”

  “Just because something was acceptable in the past, doesn’t make it okay now.” Maybe a gentler tactic would work on her. “I would really appreciate it if you didn’t use that term when talking about my friend. Please.” I was hopeful, eyes wide.

  She paused, thinking for a moment. “Well, all right. I don’t really know why I’m agreeing to anything. This is my house, after all. But, just to keep you calm, I will try to remember to not use that word around you.”

  A small victory perhaps, but I’ll take it.

  Chapter 16

  Well, it happened. Despite my best efforts to the contrary, I found out I was pregnant. Stupid, stupid, stupid, were the only things that instantly came
to my mind. I thought we were being careful, but obviously not careful enough. Violet’s plan had worked, even though I had refused to play along. She would probably be thrilled, now that she was going to have an heir to the throne. I was terribly upset at first. Not quite sixteen years old, I was far too young to have a child. Maybe I should give the baby to Adam and Sarah, as Violet had originally planned. That would certainly solve the problem of trying to raise a child alone. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay working at the ranch, with Adam’s bastard child in tow. Either I would have to leave while still pregnant, or give the baby to them. This was going to be one of the hardest decisions of my short life, and I was not really known for making good choices.

  Adam needed to know, and I would tell him soon. But, I needed to tell someone else first.

  I walked into the coffee house that afternoon and sat down at the table I hadn’t been at for several weeks. That’s how long it had been since Huck told me he loved me and I rejected him. At least that’s the way he saw it. I spotted him over in the far corner having a heated conversation with someone that I couldn’t see, because he had his back to me. When he moved a bit, I saw that it was Teresa. I had heard through the gossip mill, aka Oliver, that Huck and Teresa had started dating again, shortly after our last conversation. Their conversation now looked very serious.

  Huck looked over his shoulder and spotted me sitting at the table. He then turned back around, said something to Teresa, and got up to go back over to the counter to help a customer. Teresa made a beeline for the front door, spotting me as she passed. Tears were streaming down her face. She didn’t say a word to me, but if looks could kill…

  When Huck finished ringing up the customer, he grabbed two cups of coffee and headed over to my table. We were the only two people in the place, except for the cook back in the kitchen.

  “Hi,” he said to me. “Mind if I sit down?” Without waiting for my answer, he sat down and handed me a cup of coffee.

 

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