by Marcus Sloss
“Your insinuations are dangerous and reckless.”
“To a human in a weak position yes, I do not fear you. Now last chance before I hang up,” I said getting aroused by Everly teasing me. I bet the acrium were laughing at the fact they were cucking me at the moment. “Sinclair!”
This startled her until a general edged into the screen. “San Francisco fell. The city was blessed, we hypothesize it was spared due to the terrain. It had five Xgates all on the water and only one a half hour west by car. As the survivors knocked on our door we sent people to the fancy homes around the city that remained unmolested. Well, it turn out Growlen let some of our people gave up spots in Teton Fortress to live in the waterfront estates. Those people had information about where we are.”
“Alright, you have been discovered. Someone assaulted San Francisco. Not a surprise, I was planning to raid the city myself for the manufacturing gear and rare elements,” I said, seeing that our vehicle was rolling up to the Xgate. I hopped out. “One moment. Cover your ears.”
They ignored me as I cupped my hands around my mouth to shout.
“Get inside that portal and get in touch with the gribin! Tell them we’re here to trade,” I shouted and pointed for the drone team to go. They were gone without a word. I returned to yelling. “It should take the time to respond and then reach us. When they are ready to trade we lockdown the gate.”
The general watched the video of my troops jumping the portal and gasped.
“Are you doing a live raid while talking to us?” The general said and I squinted to see his name tag. Paul. Ah, the worst having a first name for a last name. Then I realized Ryan.
“Are you using first names?” I asked Paul.
“Oh this, yeah. New initiative under Hensen since everyone was hyphenating last names. Dammit, Captain Yang. You’re sidetracking me with you infuriating distractions. There is a human gate-god worshiper coming to steal our stockpiles of rare minerals,” Paul said, barely controlling his anger.
Sinclair seized the initiative and said, “I… You… We need your help.”
“Fancy that,” I scoffed, watching Onix bound through the portal. A yexin bayed from a horse trailer not far away. “Who is this guy you fear so thoroughly you beg for help?”
“Um… We have him as a Jarod Lispner from Marble Heights Colorado. I guess that’s the -”
“Fuck me,” I blurted. “Is he with sirens? Brown hair, brown eyes and infused with the virum? Or at least looks like an enhanced human.”
“Yeah, how did you know?”
“How long until he hits you?” I asked quickly. When I pulled up a file of Jarod Lispner it was Jarod alright. I had seen pictures of him with Mary in her little cubical. Jill kept them up even if Mary was defiantly anti-Jarod.
“Unknown, he is consolidating his loot. He has an aircraft carrier. Bigger than yours in length but not as wide. We sent thirty of our last cruise missiles into it. They finally cracked the shielding and grounded the bird. So unless he marches on foot we have nine days until he gets a replacement or manages repairs.”
“Call me if he moves, and Sinclair. This is not for free. I will let you hire me for this one, pirate’s code. Not an ounce of Y until we defeat that army,” I said through clenched teeth. “I got real work to do while you huddle in your unsecured fortress. Maybe grow a pair of balls and trade with the aliens and you won’t need to call me for help.”
Sinclair was screaming at my insolence when I closed the connection.
“Perci, how did I do?”
“Well, you didn’t tell her we were moving into the area. That is a plus. I take it Jarod is Jill’s Jarod. Still doesn’t make it our problem,” Perci said unconvincingly.
“I bet it will when we review his victory. He has no air mobility. We do. Either we smash him before he massacres and enslaves a million humans or we do so when he is attacking. There is no other option Perci,” I said in a grim tone. “And Perci think of all the loot they have piled.”
She was about to give a witty reply when our conversation was interrupted.
“Hey Cap!” Torrez shouted to me from near the portal. “They’re on the way, ten minutes by flight with a trading goods list.”
“Lock the gate! Bring our trading goods closer to the portal!” I shouted before muttering, “Three minutes.”
I rang Jill’s Gpad.
“Hey handsome we were just talking about our new home and how we would be near Maria again,” Jill said with a wide smile and Mary barging in over her shoulder.
“Hey Mary, you look lovely Jill. I missed our talk this morning Mary. Hopefully,” I paused seeing the rain was going to hit any moment. “Tomorrow. Hey Jill, that guy that could have been your college friend on the boat in New Zealand. Well, it is him and I have terribly bad news. He is leading an army and sacked San Francisco. Right in the zinger, I tell you.” Mary tilted her head in confusion. Great, it was working. “I have the tact of a sledgehammer. Mary, mommy is very strong, but I need you to keep her happy for a bit before Nancy can get there.”
Jill straightened her back and said, “My college friend was a docile man, I am sad to have lost him and eagerly await the pajama princess movie party with Mommy Nancy! If you get a chance to join us when you’re done, stop by. I have a penthouse with two bedrooms! It is the best, right Mary?”
“I miss Jasmine,” Mary grumbled until her mom tickled her.
“We will see her tomorrow. Say, bye daddy.”
“Bye Daddy.”
The communication went blank and I sniffled a bit. Jill didn’t even bat an eye at what I said. She married someone to play the safe lane and was unhappy. After the fall of Earth, she became happy and content. Her past life going crazy wasn’t going to ruin her happiness. I shuffled some rocks with my toes while inhaling a few deep breaths. My thoughts ran out of time when Perci gave me a hug that transitioned into holding my hand. We crunched the pebbles underfoot while pacing for the portal.
A little cat walked out on two legs in a leather outfit with daggers strapped to it. His or… yes it was a him based on the bulging crotch and no boobs. His eyes squinted from puffy cheeks and I could not make out any actual pupils. His whiskers flickered rapidly and his nose sniffed furiously. I named him Freddy.
“Hello Freddy, I am Eric. Welcome to Earth,” I said in a greeting tone.
Freddy tried to block his eyes from the scattered sunshine. Everly understood his pain and stood over him to cast a shadow.
“Thank you, we have been eager for trade. Our isolation leads to boredom. What do you have that is fun?” Freddy said, catching me off guard.
“Oh, you desire entertainment over food or minerals?” I asked in an inquisitive tone.
The two little hands or paws, pawed hands? Well, they rubbed together in anticipation. The snickering purr was the cherry on top to lighten my day.
“When you become ancient, have everything you need, and are bored… Unique entertainment is what passes the time. We highly value art in most forms,” Freddy said, running his lips over his canines.
“Bouncy house fun or make believe story fun?” I asked with a shrug of uncertainty. Perci rolled her eyes. “What I find a bouncy house more enjoyable than an average movie.”
“We have playground of all sorts, the stories are better for trade,” Freddy said and I guess the translator helped explain things.
“We were an open society of almost nine billion before the Xgates. We humans have our variation also -”
“You smell different from the dead bodies that fall prey to our traps,” Freddy hissed at the thought. “You say nine billion. That number translates to a lot.”
“Freddy I was trying to tell you we have an infinite amount of stored movies, videos, books, and more at the press of a button,” I said to the little guy.
The sky thundered before the rain dripped down in a slow build-up. I stepped through the portal’s shimmering blue. The sensation felt the same as always with my eyes flaring bright while transit
ioning.
A dark jungle that was much smaller than I expected surrounded me. The trees were sixty feet tall with willow-like limbs but palm like fronds. The lighting at the ground level was minimal at best. Thick undergrowth towered over my height eating whatever yellow sunlight punched through the canopy. There were about a hundred different animal noises creating a song of sorts.
Freddy joined me on his planet and said, “Thanks for leaving the rain, we tend to easily avoid it in our home. As for your entertainment, yes. We desire that greatly. Here is what we have to trade.”
Freddy handed a tablet to me that I passed to Perci. She peered over the list with Longoria and Everly.
“Do you want the yexin on the other side of the portal?” I asked, pointing at the image on earth.
“That gas bag, no, we eat bugs over red meat, species choice. May I have a sample of this entertainment?” Freddy asked.
I handed the little squinting gribin my Gpad and put on a classic movie about alien invaders. There were big explosions right at the start.
“I do not know this species. How did they assault your planet? The motherships must -”
“It is fake. Some of this information is real, this is fake. All for the entertainment of what-if scenarios. Freddy,” I said pausing the button. “There are about a billion years of entertainment I can give you.”
The gribin did a jig. Freddy even spun a circle during his dance that reminded me of a rain chant. I let him have his moment.
“Freddy, while the infinitely wise women of my nation are pouring over your list I was wondering who controls this land right here? Maybe I would get some sapling, some egg-laying birds, and poke around?” I said not seeing what would be here.
“Well, the mouse people who moved in recently tried to claim this space. Three rotations ago, yes three rotations. Already lost more than a few to the mombasnakes. Do you have space for refugees?”
“Freddy, that is what you should have led with. Can you give me a name for the species? Just make one up,” I said.
“Mounamine.”
Sammie’s eyes lit up. There was a shriek that grew louder and louder until I wanted to cover my ears. The thick jungle vegetation rustled and shook until Onix bounded over the undergrowth to land nearby with a thud. A mounamine was spat at my feet covered in Onix slobber and reeking of nasty cat breath. Sammie went down to the frightened mounamine boy with a scrunched nose.
When he caught sight of Sammie in her jungle acrium armor and exposed face he lunged at her in an embrace.
I pulled Freddy away while Sammie calmed the boy’s nerves. Onix went to get another when I halted him.
“Onix, wait we're going to bring scout sleds and march on foot. You’re leading the army,” I said and Onix actually seemed happy about that. The little boy tried to flee from Sammie and was swatted back onto his rump by the big cat. Onix plopped him down hard enough the lad started crying. Sammie was helped by Longoria as the little guy was bound and removed for Earth. I knew the scene looked wrong but I would return him if we failed somehow.
I turned to the Everly and said, “Get your troops in here with a dozen scout platforms. Onix has point, and follow his orders. He is not a dumb cat and clearly can sense things in this place we cannot,” I said and the cat purred. “Clear a path we will be behind you shortly. Make haste, we have forty-something minutes before this gate picks up.”
Everly was a lioness of a warrior. She darted through the portal to organize her rain-drenched troops.
“Freddy, should we expect any of your traps going that way?”
“Ah, no. This area is generally picked clean. Most of the jungle animals and creatures avoid this zone. There are many saplings you are free to take from here but the best ones are on that list. The good fruit-bearing kind, the ones that make leaves so stiff you can craft boats, and we trade egg-laying birds in the market. An egg every other.” The translator garbled. “One point two days.”
“Well, Freddy. My troops are going to house those mounamine,” I said, watching my soldiers rushing behind Onix. The hunt was on. The dozens became hundreds as acrium covered crixxi and humans stomped into the jungle while clearing a path. “What data device would you like to put all our information on?”
A ball was pulled out of his vest and I frowned. “I tried to gather data when I arrived on your planet but hit a block. You have technology I cannot bypass. Ask your gatekeeper for access and I will get all the data.”
I chuckled at the little stinker’s earlier attempt to snag our videos for free. “At some point, someone has to give a leap of faith. Come follow me and I will -”
“The data is unlocked for him,” Willis said through my Gpad Freddy was holding. From Earth.
My fingers clenched into a ball and I momentarily shook with rage. “Willis, this is a huge breakthrough. I need to talk to the troops raiding if I…” I huffed in and out to calm. “We will discuss this later. Please fill the gribins orb with our entertainment files.”
“I sent you a package on everything we can do earlier, this is not on Sally or I. I filled Freddy’s three orbs and half of his fourth,” Willis informed me. “I got to go, about to dive under our new secret base.”
The connection closed. Freddy broke into another dance. There was no guessing needed as the little being was extremely happy. When he calmed he squinted up at me.
“If you would allow us a few hours. We will go through the process of establishing a valuation. Was there anything you did not want from our list?” Freddy asked.
Perci walked over and handed the small tablet back to the gribin. She twisted her face in concern when Sally’s voice said, “These two fruit trees are poisonous. This bird is a pet. This bird has amazing coloration and I want it for the soothing factor and then the rest Perci selected is fine. These ugly bug eater ones are the main egg layers. We are installing the artificial sun now.”
I was at a loss for words. The amount of processing power their slug brains possessed left me speechless.
“I have the updated list. Any objections to the changes?” Freddy asked and I shrugged to Perci.
“The changes are perfect, thank you, Sally. Establish our value and then let us know when to collect our end of the deal,” Perci said in a pleasant tone to Freddy.
Freddy gave a small nod. He darted into the jungle behind a tree. A second later he was soaring into the sky in an orb contraption that went faster than my eyes could track.
“Wow, I want one of those,” I said.
“They are expensive to make but doable,” Sally said. “The big downside is they’re lacking offensive abilities.”
“Sally, build yourself an orb or a drone. You need your own platform to speak from. I also need a way to know when you're observing. For instance, color code who is actively listening for my simple mind. I would be remiss to our people to shut you out,” I said.
“I am sorry, were you talking to me…” Sally said and I almost smashed my Gpad.
A few deep breaths later I saw a prancing king kitty returning for home. Trailing behind him was Everly helping carry a small ratty pack. Behind her was a string of mounamine intermixed with soldiers. The immediately noticeable thing was the mounamine line consisted of ragged disheveled beings that were not perfect. Ah, non-virum infused.
Sammie, led an old mounamine over to Perci and I. Onix sat on his haunches as the sad souls walked for their new home.
“King Eric, this is Den Father Barels. He is very excited to be offered a new home,” Sammie said and the meek mouseman went to his knees and tucked his head in a prayer position. I gave Sammie a shrugging ‘what gives’ look. “His former owner had habits we need to break. These will recover smoothly, especially with the virum. Right now they need a shower. Ugh, yup a shower, and a warm meal.”
“And their previous owners?” I said gazing down at the groveling Barels.
“Unable to provide for their contract and let them go free. This is where the gates sent them. They were one hundre
d and seventy, now one hundred and fifty one,” Sammie said sadly. “But no more will die needlessly. You have a home now Barels. Off the dirt and through the portal. Off you go.”
Barels scurried off the ground to obey Sammie. I raised an eyebrow.
“I may have lied when I said we do not function as a hierarchy to our own kind. We do, just not to the same extent as other species. I am your mounamine queen of sorts. I promise to never talk back to you, my king. Only to those who need instruction and others are not around to give it,” Sammie said in her chipper tone.
She left my jaw hanging when she went home. Perci chuckled lightly and Everly arrived at our sides.
“This is what is wrong with the gatekeepers. This is why they are not gods. These mounamine served, their protectors were unable to maintain them and then they were sent to a jungle planet to slowly to get picked off. They were literally right there,” Everly said, pointing in a direction that gave me no relevance to distance. “There were six massive snakes Onix killed that were fat on mounamine.”
“I was wondering where the gravity sleds were. I take it you gutted the bodies first?”
“Yeah, they are working on that now. Crixxi have no qualms with blood. How about we head home and create a large fire pit to roast a nice snake dinner over?”
Onix licked his lips from over my shoulder with a purr so loud my bones felt like they were shaking. Everly petted the big beast and we shared smiles at the moment. We headed back home to have a rain B-B-Q of sizzling snakes.
A half hour later we were snacking inside Mansion waiting on Freddy to deliver his end of the deal. The trip back to Mansion was quick considering we had no aircraft. Willis and Sally were in full relocation mode and that fact was evident when we arrived home. The scene was chaotic with household items being moved.
Everything from the cave was coming out while loot was going in. Deep freezers were being hauled out of our kitchen area beside beds from the side homes. There was very little rhyme or reason for what was going and the resulting process was a jumbled mess.
