by Virlyce
Vur turned around and closed the door leading into the mountain while the two dwarves stared at his back. The roots entangling Diamant loosened, and the mountain elemental burst out of Vur’s arm, materializing into a human form. “I’m going to apologize to the dwarves right—”
Vur grabbed Diamant’s shoulder and pulled the elemental back before stuffing him into the runes on his arm. “Calm down,” Vur said and yawned. He rubbed his eyes before blinking twice.
“Calm down!?” Diamant shouted as Vur went back to the dining room. “How can I calm down!? You’ve ruined millennia of hard work! Everything I’ve worked to build, gone! My clan is ruined. Ruined. Ruined….”
Sobbing sounds echoed through the room, causing Vur to frown. He slapped the runes on his arm. “Think of all the tributes the dwarves have collected from you,” he said. “Don’t you want it back? You’d be much richer without paying them, right?”
“No! If I don’t pay the dwarves, I won’t make any profit at all!”
Vur sighed and shook his head. “You’re too narrow-minded. The dwarves make money off of you by threatening you, which makes them richer than you. So if I threaten the dwarves and make money off of them instead, then I’ll make more money than them. See? The clan will prosper more than the dwarves.”
“That’s not how it works! You’re not stronger than the dwarves; how can you threaten them?”
“I’m confident I am, so you should be too. End of discussion.” Vur picked up a spiked yellow fruit and bit into it. His eyes widened before he made a gagging noise. “This is terrible.”
Stella nodded as she pulled out her notebook and quill. “No durians. Noted.”
***
“Your Gloriousness, I’ve come with a report.” A well-dressed dwarf with a monocle walked into a small room with a throne. Beside the throne, on one side, there was a shelf filled with food. On the other, there was a shelf filled with bottles of water. The throne was a reclining one, and the dwarf lying down on it had his eyes closed. “Your Gloriousness?”
A long, drawn-out sigh escaped from the dwarf king’s, E’s, lips. His eyes remained closed as he asked, “Is it important? On a scale of ‘I can leave this for another decade or two’ to ‘this requires me to sit up’ where does it lie?”
The reporting dwarf furrowed his brow and hummed. “Somewhere in between ‘there’s a mosquito in the room and I’m trying to sleep’ and ‘I have to pee, but the bed is really warm.’”
Another sigh escaped from E’s lips. His eyes opened, and he rubbed them with the backs of his hands. “What is it? I’m listening.”
“The Gemstone Merchants Clan have refused to pay tribute.”
“The Gemstone Merchants Clan….”
“The clan whose tributes make up 37% of our income.”
“Ah. Right. Those guys. And?”
“And?” the dwarf reporter asked, his brow wrinkling. “Isn’t that a big enough problem by itself?”
“So you’re saying there’s no other issue?” E asked. His eyes closed again as he exhaled out a long breath. He reached over with his right hand and fumbled around before grabbing onto a bottle of water.
“Your Gloriousness, this is 37% of our annual income we’re talking about.” The dwarf fidgeted as E swallowed his water in slow gulps. “It really isn’t a small amount.”
“But is it worth the hassle?” E tossed the empty water bottle to the side and rested his hand on his stomach. “The amount of manpower and time and effort to collect tribute if they really want to fight us…, it’s a lot. I don’t want to do it.”
“Your Gloriousness…,” the dwarf said, his eye twitching. “What happened to you? You used to be ambitious, hardworking! Everyone admired your work ethic. You clawed your way from the bottom to the top. You can’t rest on your laurels! Now…, now you’re just, just—”
“Zappy.”
The dwarf froze mid-sentence. “Sorry, Your Gloriousness. I got a bit carried away.”
“Do you know why I worked so hard when I was younger?” E asked. He continued before Zappy could respond. “It was to become king. Do you know why I wanted to become king? The only reason why I wanted to was to do nothing for the rest of my life. As king, I can do that and live comfortably. No one can tell me what to do; I can order people around. I haven’t even moved from this spot for over a week, and no one will criticize me. You say I shouldn’t rest on my laurels? Well, maybe they shouldn’t have been so damn comfortable.”
“Your Gloriousness….”
“Go tell Mooney to deal with the problem. I’m busy resting.” E rolled over and picked up a pillow that was lying beside the throne before placing it under his head.
“I went to Mooney first,” Zappy said, his face stiffening. “He’s been hospitalized.”
“Hospitalized? Throw some white mages at him. How can anyone be hospitalized?”
“He was on the verge of death,” Zappy said. “His aides said he flew with the assistance of a foot.”
“Flew with the assistance of a foot…,” E mumbled. “Was Mooney punted?” The dwarf king burst out into laughter. “He really lived up to his name and became a moon!”
“Your Gloriousness, this isn’t a laughing matter,” Zappy said and pursed his lips. “The elementals have their own grapevine, so to speak. If word spreads about the Gemstone Merchant Clan not paying tribute, the Wandering Zephyr Sprites, Flaming Fire Flickers, and Tranquil Traders clans won’t pay tribute either. We’ll lose over 80% of our income if all the elementals refuse to pay tribute.”
“Well, what changed?” E asked. “Why aren’t the Gemstone Merchants paying tribute? This is the first time this has ever happened, correct?”
“Apparently there is a new clan master,” Zappy said. “A human who contracted with Diamant.”
“Diamant?”
“Your Gloriousness, please…,” Zappy said and sighed. “Diamant’s the mountain elemental who was the previous leader of the clan. You’ve talked to him many times before, remember?”
“…All earth elementals are the same when you see enough of them,” E said. He rolled over onto his other side and yawned.
“Diamant’s the strongest earth elemental! At least remember the representatives of each clan, Your Gloriousness.” A wrinkle appeared on Zappy’s forehead. He resisted the urge to throttle his king and chose to sigh instead. “Please, won’t you do something about the Gemstone Merchants?”
“I really can’t just leave them?” E asked and sighed. His eyes opened as he sat up, his head slumping down towards his chest.
“No!”
“Well, what do you want me to do?” E asked. “If Mooney couldn’t do anything, what makes you think I can?”
“You’re the king,” Zappy said. “You have the responsibility to clean up after your subordinates when they fail. Speak with the new clan master and obtain our tributes.”
E scratched his beard and sighed again. “Just who exactly is king here?” he muttered. “So bossy. What was the point of establishing a universal assembly if I have to do work?” E’s eyes lit up. “That’s right. Make Plumby do it. He has a really large military, doesn’t he?”
“Plumby’s in the process of rebuilding his capital after it was destroyed by a black dragon.” Zappy squinted his eyes at the king who was struggling to climb off of his throne. “I’m sure he sent a report about it.”
“Did he?” E asked. “I must’ve forgotten.” He shook his head and slipped on a pair of slippers while standing up, his bones creaking. He sighed again as he stared at the ground. “I should’ve just been an investor. I didn’t think being a king would be this much work.”
“Please. This is the first time you’ve stood up in a week,” Zappy said. “People who actually work hard will resent you if you say things like that.”
15
Tafel and Alice nodded at the elf who had been guiding them and stepped inside of the office. The elf closed the door behind them, the heavy metal closing with a clang. A deep voice
boomed through the room, coming from behind the chair that had its back facing them, “Welcome, champions. I, General Governor Dupey, have been impressed by your performance.”
The chair swung around with a cracking noise, causing Tafel to flinch. She stared at the bug-eyed dwarf who had an equally large nose for a second before bursting out into laughter which was quickly stifled by a sharp pain in her back—courtesy of Alice.
Alice cleared her throat. “Greetings, General Governor Dupey.”
Tafel coughed once as her face assumed a neutral expression. “It’s nice to meet you, Governor Dupey.”
Dupey scowled. “Call me General Governor Dupey,” he said, narrowing his eyes at Tafel. She resisted the urge to laugh by biting her lower lip. “Before I hand out your rewards, do you mind answering a few of my questions?”
“I really rather not,” Alice said. She pursed her lips as Stella’s curse forced her to speak. “I think I’ll step outside while you have a chat with my party member. Sorry about my rudeness.”
Dupey watched Alice as she opened the door and stepped outside. His heartrate quickened as the remains of his lock fell to the floor. The berserk librarian hadn’t even noticed it was there. He shook his head and turned his gaze back onto the demon who was trying, but failing, to stop herself from laughing. “Is there something funny?” he asked, his voice lowering even further.
Tafel bit her lower lip. “I thought you’d look a lot more intimidating because of your voice,” she said. She cleared her throat and turned her gaze away from the odd-looking dwarf. “Sorry.”
“Am I not intimidating?” Dupey asked, furrowing his brow. “Forget it.” He sighed. “Why did you two join my tournament? No adventurer above B-rank ever joins.”
“I heard there was a nice reward for winning,” Tafel said. “I wanted it.”
“And you have no intention to work alongside me, correct?” Dupey asked.
“Yeah,” Tafel said and nodded. She turned her gaze back onto the dwarf. “That’s fine, right?”
“Of course,” Dupey said. “I’m not unreasonable.” He pushed a piece of paper on the desk towards Tafel. “Here’s a list of the rewards. Under normal circumstances, I only award those who decide to join me, but I’m willing to make an exception this time.”
Tafel took the paper and read through it. She raised an eyebrow. “What’s kalyterium?”
Dupey’s eyes widened. “You’ve never heard of kalyterium?” He muttered, “Why did I even offer it?” He cleared his throat and puffed out his chest. “It’s an alloy of orichalcum, mithril, and seven other metals that only dwarves know how to create. It’s as tough as orichalcum, but it also has an added effect of resisting magic.”
“The armor that those people wore then,” Tafel said with a nod. “But I already have armor and a weapon…. Huh, Alice had a point.” She scratched her head as she continued reading the list. “What’s a car?”
“It’s a special horse carriage,” Dupey said.
“Like unicorns?” Tafel asked, raising her head. “You strapped them to a carriage?”
“No,” Dupey said and scowled. “Not like a unicorn. The carriage is horseless and runs on explosions. We harness the power of the explosion with an engine that turns the wheels of the carriage.”
Tafel furrowed her brow. “Isn’t that dangerous?”
“Only if an accident occurs,” Dupey said with a nod. “We’ve perfected the car. Out of a hundred uses, it’ll only explode 49 times.”
“That sounds far from perfect,” Tafel said, mentally crossing out the car option from the list of choices.
“An invention is a success if it works more than it fails,” Dupey said and shrugged. “And a successful invention is a perfected one.”
Tafel’s eye twitched. “I have a feeling my husband would get along really well with dwarves if they’re all like you.”
“Where is he?” Dupey asked. “I assume he’s part of your party. Why did you attend with only two people?”
“I’m not sure where he is,” Tafel said and sighed. “He was teleported away along with a candied apple stand. Wherever he is, I’m sure he’s doing fine though.”
“Teleported away…, candied apple stand…?” Realization dawned on Dupey’s face. “It was the Gemstone Merchants Clan. They’re the clan where all the free earth elementals gather. It was most likely them who took your husband. They’re the richest clan on the continent, and selling exotic or rare specimens is one of their largest sources of income.”
“Oh,” Tafel said and continued reading the paper. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“…Do you not care?” Dupey asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Would you be worried about a wolf if it was kidnapped by a flock of sheep?” Tafel asked.
“Earth elementals aren’t sheep,” Dupey said. “They wouldn’t be the richest clan if they were. Earth elementals are vicious, cunning beings. Though fire elementals may be stronger, they’re very straightforward and direct. An earth elemental will wait for the perfect opportunity before stabbing you in the back.”
“Oh,” Tafel said without looking up. “I see. What’s a mayjorb?”
Dupey sighed. “This is why I don’t bother with kindness. No one ever listens,” he said and shook his head. “A mayjorb is an orb with a spell recorded inside of it. They’re single use, but anyone can use them even if they don’t have mana.”
“Mm.” Tafel grunted. “I think I’ll go ask Alice for her opinion. I have no idea what to pick.” She opened the door and left before Dupey could say anything else. The door swung shut behind Tafel’s back, and she saw Alice sitting on a couch in the hallway.
“Done already?” Alice asked. “He didn’t ask anything weird, did he?”
“No,” Tafel said and shook her head. “Here’s a list of the rewards we can pick.” She offered the paper towards Alice. “What do you think we should get?”
Alice’s gaze ran down the page like flowing water. A second after she retrieved the list, she said, “Get the car.”
“…Why?”
“Cars are a status symbol. Trust me. It’s the most valuable thing on this list.”
Tafel tilted her head. “Have you heard about their accident rates…?”
“Yeah. Fifty-one times out of a hundred, the car will work. That’s not bad at all,” Alice said with a nod.
Tafel muttered as she reentered Dupey’s room. “Maybe I’m the one who doesn’t understand percentages.”
***
“You know, I told you to get the car so we could use it as transport, right?” Alice asked as she dismounted from the vehicle. It looked exactly like a carriage except it had a metal frame and body. The space at the front where horses should’ve been attached to had also been converted into a trunk.
Tafel snorted as she hopped off the driver’s seat. “I’m not going to ride a flaming deathtrap voluntarily,” she said and shook her head, loosening her hair. “Besides, warping to Anfang’s a lot faster, no? I don’t care how fast this explosive carriage can go; nothing beats teleportation.”
“I guess,” Alice said with a sigh. Her brow furrowed as she took in the surroundings. “This….”
“A festival?” Tafel asked. Banners streamed from Anfang’s walls and sounds of revelry came from beyond the city gates. “Wasn’t there an earthquake recently? It didn’t hit Anfang then.”
“No,” Alice said and shook her head. “The earthquake definitely arrived. I’ve lived here for the past two years. The skyline is different. The adventurers’ guild’s spire is missing, and the church of the holy dragons is completely gone.” She pointed at the city wall. “Look. That crack wasn’t there before, and there’s evidence of repairs. That scaffold hasn’t been removed yet. But why is everyone celebrating?”
Tafel shrugged and tapped the car. It disappeared with a white light, causing Alice to frown. The guild master placed her hands on her hips and asked, “What’s that about?”
“It’s inconvenient to bring a
round,” Tafel said and dusted off her hands. “I created a space beneath the earth and memorized the coordinates. I put my stuff there and access it with portals.” She waved her hand and a portal appeared. She reached into it and pulled out the red pearl necklace that Vur had won from the fishmen. “See?” Before she could toss the necklace back into the portal, Alice stopped her.
“Wait,” Alice said and adjusted her glasses. “Are those sunset pearls?”
“I don’t know?” Tafel asked, raising an eyebrow. She glanced at the pearls in her palm. They were warming up and turning red due to the sun.
“Let me see,” Alice said, reaching towards the necklace.
Tafel’s hand retreated, pulling the pearls away. “You see with your eyes,” she said and donned the necklace. “Vur gave this to me.”
Alice wrinkled her nose. “Stingy,” she said before glancing at the gate. Two guards with red faces and mugs beside them were laughing and chatting with each other, completely oblivious to the two women standing a foot away from them. Alice slapped her shield, which was strapped to her wrist, with her palm, creating a thunder-like sound. “Hey.”
The guards continued to laugh and chat with each other. Alice’s brow furrowed as she walked up to them and placed her hands on her hips. Even though she was right beneath their noses, they still ignored her. Alice glanced at Tafel, who had arrived beside her. “I’m not that short, right?”
“Well, you are, but that doesn’t explain it,” Tafel said. She avoided the dirty look Alice gave her and tapped the guard on the shoulder. The guard flinched and froze before his eyes widened. “Hello?” Tafel asked.
The guard whipped around to look at Tafel and Alice. “G-guild master! Hello! I didn’t see you there,” he said. His partner was staring blankly at him with a dazed expression, and the guard slapped his partner’s face.
The partner blinked and clutched his red cheek. “G-guild master! Hello! I didn’t see you there,” he said and smiled at Alice.
