He ignored her again and repeated, “Am I understood?”
“You’re understood,” she replied quietly, turned back toward the house, patted her thigh to call the dogs and started forward.
Their walk, apparently, was over.
As they had moved away from the house, she had not only attempted conversation, she’d freely engaged in it.
As they moved back to the house, she remained thoughtfully and somewhat disturbingly quiet and her lightened mood had vanished.
Therefore when The Point was in view, Jack got close to her side, slid an arm around her shoulders and halted her. He curled her to face him and she tilted her head back to look at him.
“Don’t be cross, poppet,” he demanded softly when her eyes caught his, going on to explain. “I acted out of concern.”
To this she oddly announced, “I hiked the Inca Trail.”
Jack stared at her a moment before asking, “What?”
She put her hands to his waist and repeated, “I hiked the Inca Trail with my Mom. We hiked to Machu Picchu.” When he didn’t speak, she went on, “Which is amazing, by the way.”
He was surprised at this news but also uncertain why she was sharing it.
“That may be so but you weren’t pregnant nor were you alone when you did it. I’d rather you not climb out onto a cliff outcrop when you’re out walking alone.”
He’d also rather she not do it when she was with someone, for instance himself, but he didn’t say that.
She moved a hint closer to him, tilting her head back further. “No. That’s not what I mean. I’ve been trying to decide why I’m not scared of that cliff which I’m not. I never thought about it but it’s weird.” Again when he didn’t respond, she continued, informing him, “I think it’s the sea.”
Although this made no sense to Jack, he didn’t tell her that, he remained silent.
When he didn’t speak, Belle went on, “I feel safe around the sea. And I feel safe around my Mom which was why I wasn’t scared on the Inca Trail. So I tried to find times when I wasn’t afraid of something I’m normally afraid of to see if my theory is right. I remembered that, after a while, when we were up in the hayloft that first time, I leaned against the sliding doors that you opened which is something I wouldn’t normally do and…”
She stopped talking abruptly and her eyes grew wide as she realised what she was giving away. Her body went solid, she tore her gaze from his and looked at his ear.
Then belatedly she tried to pull away.
Jack’s arms slid around her, containing her retreat.
She gave up immediately but held her body stiffly in his arms.
She’d felt safe with him.
This was a highly welcome revelation.
At least it was to Jack.
Belle looked like the very thought terrified her to an irrational extreme.
“Look at me,” he commanded gently and her eyes went from his ear to his far more rapidly than normal which was also highly welcome. She was looking in his eyes more often, holding his gaze easier and meeting his eyes more swiftly at his command.
Jack decided to confront her directly, not giving her time to retreat emotionally either. “I’m pleased you feel safe with me, love, but I still don’t want you out on that cliff.”
“Okay,” she replied readily and he knew she was agreeing in order to end the conversation not that she actually agreed. He knew this because she made a move to pull away but his arms tightened. He gave her a gentle shake when her eyes started to slide away again and he held her gaze.
“You’ll always be safe with me, Belle,” he told her.
She wet her lips nervously and hastily changed the subject by requesting, “Can we go back to the house?”
“No,” he answered instantly.
“Why not?” Her voice was beginning to rise with anxiety but he ignored it.
A breeze slid through the air, taking with it some tendrils of hair that had escaped her ponytail. They caught on her wetted lips and Jack lifted a hand to slide his fingers along her hairline, tucking the tendrils behind her ear as he held her to him with his other arm. He felt her body tremble at his touch with a resultant, vastly pleasant, clutch in his gut.
“A number of reasons,” he answered as his hand wrapped around her ponytail, his other arm pulled her even closer and, when he had her affectionately imprisoned, he continued. “Firstly, because I’d like a moment to savour the knowledge that you felt safe with me regardless of the fact that I lost that gift through no fault of my own.” He heard and felt her draw in a quick breath but he kept talking. “Secondly, I’d like to know that you understand you were mistaken when you withdrew that gift and further that you understand now that I’ll always keep you safe.” At these words her body locked and he saw the colour leave her face but, relentless, he carried on. “Thirdly, I’m considering kissing you, I haven’t decided yet but I’m definitely leaning toward it.”
He watched her lips part, colour again suffused her cheeks before she informed him, the anxiety in her voice increasing, “I think we should stop kissing.”
Jack grinned at her. “Now why would we do that?”
She looked away but he gave her ponytail a soft tug and she looked back, saying, “I don’t know. We just should.”
“Should we stop sleeping together?” he asked.
“Probably,” she answered hesitantly, no resolve whatsoever underlying that word, telling him she not only liked his presence in bed but she wanted it.
The sharp sense of triumph he felt, mingled with the sweet way she’d made this admission, made him chuckle.
Her eyes dropped to his mouth, Jack liked her eyes on his mouth so he dipped his face closer to hers.
“Poppet, I’m not going to stop kissing you and I’m not going to stop sleeping with you. In fact, the minute you give me the first indication I can take it further, I’m going to do more than kiss you.” His face got even closer and he went on, “a lot more.”
He felt her body jerk and her startled gaze shifted to his eyes.
“We shouldn’t complicate things,” she told him in a tremulous voice and he couldn’t help it, he pulled her closer but threw his head back and laughed. Her hands at his waist tensed as she protested, “I wasn’t being funny.”
He looked down at her again, still laughing. “Don’t you think things are already complicated?”
“Well, yes,” she replied. “That’s why we shouldn’t let them get more complicated.”
His face got close to hers again and he returned, “I like them complicated and I’ll like them even better when they’re more complicated.”
He saw she was having trouble breathing and he knew this reaction directly corresponded with the fear, desire and wonder he read in her eyes.
“Maybe we should talk,” she whispered in a way that said she most definitely did not want to talk. In fact, she’d rather have her fingernails ripped out at the roots but she thought it imperative that they do so.
Even though Jack wanted to kiss her, he felt she’d had enough. Instead he moved away from her body but placed an arm around her shoulders, keeping her close to his side as he guided her toward The Point.
“We’ll talk later,” he promised.
She kept moving forward but her head tilted up to look at him. “When?”
He looked down at her. “When you tell me you feel safe with me again.” He bent his face closer to hers and grinned before he went on, “And after things get far more complicated.”
He watched her swallow and her head jerked to look forward.
He knew she wanted to say more. He also knew she didn’t have the courage.
Taking advantage of that, he pulled her deeper into his side.
They arrived back at The Point only to learn his mother, Lila and Rachel were out somewhere together doing something they didn’t share with Elaine.
This meant that Belle, who he knew wanted to escape him but he also knew did not want to be left alone to f
ace the possibility of whatever might befall her at the hands of Myrtle and Lewis was forced to go with him to his study.
He went to his desk to see to some work and call Olive about Belle’s new employee.
Belle sat on the couch and gazed out the window.
This was something she seemed to be able to do for hours, mutely, peacefully, as if drawing strength from the view.
This was also something he very much liked about her. It was inscrutable but tranquil and he found it unbelievably appealing.
Within a half an hour, she was curled in the corner of his couch, asleep.
Jack watched her in sleep for long moments, made a decision, left his work, got his book and went to the couch.
With gentle but determined movements should she wake and withdraw, he shifted her sleeping body so he could join her.
She did wake and her sleepy gaze drifted to his face. Her nap, however, was nowhere near complete and he knew instantly her guard was down.
He knew this because, as he tucked her into his side, she awarded him with a small, sweet smile instead of pulling away or going stiff. Without hesitation, she put her cheek to his chest, wrapped her arm around his stomach, curled into him and fell directly back to sleep.
His attention turned to his book but he couldn’t focus on it. He found he preferred staring out the window to the sea, feeling Belle’s warmth at his side, listening to her soft breathing and contemplating their day.
Therefore when he heard a knock on the door, he ignored it. He had no intention of letting anyone disturb them.
Unfortunately, it was Lila at the door and even though he did not ask her to enter, she did.
He bit back his impatience and the sharp words he would very much liked to have said. Instead, he watched her gaze at them a moment before she walked across the room, took a chair from the front of his desk and dragged it to the side of the couch.
As she settled herself in the chair, Jack spoke quietly but pointedly. “Belle’s sleeping.”
Lila’s eyes went to her granddaughter then to Jack.
“I can see that,” she replied as she leaned back in the chair as if she was going to spend the afternoon there. Then she said, “We need to talk.”
She was right, they did need to talk. He had a few things he wished to say to her, most of them having to do with how she regularly embarrassed her granddaughter but some of them having to do with how she treated Jack thus, he sensed, distressing her granddaughter.
However, they didn’t need to talk with Belle in the room, asleep or not.
“I would enjoy that, Lila, but not now,” Jack returned, his voice still low, guarded and quiet.
“Now,” she retorted, also speaking softly. “It’s clear things have changed between you two and I need some assurances.”
Jack clenched his jaw and remained silent.
Lila either ignored it or didn’t see it (likely the first) and continued, “Considering your mother’s disposition, her assertion that you are not, in fact, adopted, and your recent behaviour, I can assume that things went horribly awry the first time you were with Belle. Or, considering your behaviour when I met you and the penchant toward violence you and your brother demonstrated, I can assume that you’re setting her up to take a gigantic fall once the baby’s born. I’d like you to tell me, honestly, which one it is.”
Jack’s body clenched as stiffly as his jaw.
For Belle’s sake, he forced his body to relax and with as much politeness as he could muster, he murmured, “Please leave, Lila.”
“I’ll leave when you tell me which one it is,” she returned stubbornly.
He regarded her a moment and then said in a low, very unhappy voice, “I’ll tell you that you don’t know me well enough to make assumptions about me. I’ll also tell you that I’m not pleased at your display of judgement when you’ve no idea what has passed between Belle and I or my brother and I. I’ll further tell you that if you behave this way around our child, I’ll not be happy. Without the facts at your command or often with them, standing in judgement of another is a revolting trait and I’ll not tolerate it around my child. And lastly, I’ll tell you that it’s commendable you wish to protect your granddaughter but you aren’t doing a very good job of it, insulting the father of her child while she’s asleep in his arms.”
Jack could swear he saw a light come to her eyes. A light that looked quite a bit like approval.
He also didn’t care.
Lila’s approval didn’t matter to him, Belle’s did. He’d earn it with Lila’s assent or not.
“I don’t think you understand that I’ve had a goodly number of heart-to-hearts with your mother,” Lila told him.
“You’ve known her a month,” Jack returned.
“What I’m saying is, I know more than you think I do,” Lila replied.
“I know what you’re saying,” Jack explained. “But my mother wasn’t present during the time I shared with Belle. She doesn’t know what transpired.”
Lila gave him a small, all-knowing grin. “Belle told me that part.”
“Belle may have been there but Belle wasn’t in my head. She clearly had no idea what I was thinking or she would never have left this house.”
Jack knew exactly what he’d given away and he’d intended to do it. Not because he wished to assuage Lila’s concern but because he wanted her to leave before they woke Belle which was something they courted the longer their conversation lasted.
“So things went horribly awry,” Lila muttered, watching him closely.
Jack didn’t bother to reply.
They studied each other for long moments before Lila’s face changed in a way he couldn’t read but he knew did not bode well.
“There are things you need to know about Belle,” she whispered.
He didn’t like the tone of her voice or the grave look on her face.
Nevertheless he replied, “Let’s let Belle share them with me, shall we?”
Lila gave him an unusually hesitant look. “I think you should know them sooner rather than later.”
“What I think is that it’s clear Belle has trust issues. If she knew I was discussing her secrets with her grandmother it would be detrimental to me winning that trust. Therefore it’s best she confide them to me when the time is right for her.”
Jack waited for Lila to argue, finding he was increasingly frustrated and thus annoyed that they were having this conversation with Belle present, asleep or not. He was further frustrated that Lila tied his hands because he couldn’t communicate the intensity of his anger, nor could he even physically move.
She was, he thought with irritation, very clever.
Her gaze shifted to her granddaughter, her face cleared and for a moment, it gentled.
She hid this look when her eyes returned to him.
“So be it,” she declared, stood and looked down on him.
This he also found irritating.
“Handle her with care, Jack,” she warned softly. “Belle deserves that.”
Jack’s jaw clenched yet again at her imparting this unnecessary piece of advice before she continued and what she said made his gut clench.
“You see, there were those before you who didn’t so it’s essential you do.”
Before he could utter a word, she swiftly and silently swept from the room.
Her parting words obliterated the serenity he’d felt minutes before.
His mind turned to Belle and his first night together, her earnest demand that he promise she could trust him and the conversation they never had the next morning where she was going to share her secrets.
Perhaps, he thought with no small amount of uneasiness, they should talk before he’d fully earned her trust and made their relationship far more pleasantly complicated.
His arm tightened and he shifted her closer, deciding to clear the foreboding from his mind by reading.
He was engrossed in his book when she woke.
Her cheek gliding on his chest,
her eyes opening and focussing fuzzily on his book, Jack watched her blink a couple of times. Then her head tipped up and her grey eyes, still groggy, were soft and had no trouble catching his.
“Hi,” she whispered and Jack felt that one word, uttered in her sweet voice, drift across his skin like it was a physical touch.
“Welcome back from dreamland, poppet,” Jack murmured, closing his book and dropping it to the floor.
He pulled her up his chest as he twisted her torso more fully on top of his.
She did not struggle as he did this. Instead, she lifted a hand to pull the wisps of hair away from her face and her eyes dropped to his mouth.
When he’d positioned her so their faces were close, before he knew or, he imagined, she knew what she was about, her lips curled into a small smile. Then she rested her hand on his chest, leaned in and touched her mouth to his.
At this light touch, he felt a surge of warmth through his body but, mouth still on his, Belle froze then jerked back.
Swiftly, his arms closed around her, containing her retreat.
She’d given him his opening.
It was time, Jack decided as the warmth remained in his body, to make things considerably more complicated.
Decision made, Jack didn’t delay.
“No, love,” he murmured. “Don’t be afraid, finish what you start.”
“Jack –”
He cut her off by demanding in a low voice, “Belle, kiss me.”
He felt her melting, her fingers curling into his shirt but, still, she resisted.
“Jack –”
One of his hands slid up her spine and, as it always did, this caused her to shiver. His body absorbed it as his fingers sifted into her hair at the back of her head.
He angled his own head forward and, lips against hers, he repeated softly, “Kiss me, poppet.”
“Please –” she begged even as he felt her body moulding to his.
He should put her out of her misery but he needed her to kiss him. He needed her to make that first move of her own volition (albeit with his coaxing). He needed the statement of what such an act would mean, to her as well as to him.
However, if she didn’t do this soon, he’d do it. With her body pressed to his, her thick hair falling through is fingers, he was losing control and he was losing it irritatingly fast.
Lucky Stars Page 19
