Kayla got up to do the dishes. Declan and I offered to help, but she insisted we stay and talk to my father. With just the three of us in the room again, the tone of the entire evening changed, as if someone had flipped a switch.
“Why did you really come along, Declan?” my father asked. “Is it because my daughter didn’t want to face me alone?”
The room went silent for a few seconds.
My roomie, who never lacked for something to say, looked at me before stumbling over his words. “No, I…”
“Yes,” I interrupted. “I needed his support. I was nervous for so many reasons—scared mainly, because I didn’t want to see you sick. I have a lot of regrets about our relationship, but in the end, you’re still my daddy. I was just afraid, afraid to be afraid.”
“I know,” my father said. After a few moments of silence, he turned to Declan. “Thank you for accompanying her.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
“How did you two come to live together?”
Declan grinned mischievously. “She couldn’t resist my charms.”
“Well, that’s not exactly the story,” I said.
“Actually, I got in by default. Everyone else was so godawful, she had no choice but to give in—that and I made her cupcakes.”
“Very resourceful idea.” My father laughed. “How bad could a guy who makes cupcakes be?”
“That was exactly my thinking, Robert.”
“How is my daughter to live with?”
Declan glanced over at me and smiled. “She’s fun, which you wouldn’t immediately know from her rigid organization and rules.”
My father turned to me. “Rigid, huh?”
“She likes everything very neat and organized,” Declan clarified. “But there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s who she is.”
My father’s gaze permeated mine. “That’s not who she always was. When I lived with Molly, I remember her being quite messy and carefree.” He paused. “After I left home, my ex-wife would tell me Molly had become a bit obsessed with neatness and having everything in order.” He looked down at his plate and sighed. “And all I could think was...that’s not Molly at all.” Dad shook his head. “I wondered if her becoming that way had something to do with my leaving.”
I didn’t know what to say. That hadn’t occurred to me, but then I’d never analyzed my behavior.
My father continued, looking straight at me. “My therapist thinks we do certain things to create a sense of order or stability in our life, because those are things we can control. When I left, I turned your entire life upside down.”
I was surprised to learn my father knew about my quirks, but apparently my mother had let him in on more than I realized. I was also surprised to hear he saw a therapist.
“You see a shrink?”
“Yes. I have for some time now. I have a lot of regrets, Molly—about how I handled things with your mother and you girls. And I’m sorry.”
My chest tightened. He should not be beating himself up right now. I tried to reassure him. “We all make mistakes.”
“Mine was quite a mistake.”
It broke my heart that my father was focused on his regrets while battling this illness. He could very well have limited time; he needed to focus on the positive.
“Dad, please don’t worry about the past right now.”
The tension in the air was thick, and I felt Declan’s hand cover mine—not sure how he knew I really needed it.
He squeezed my hand. “If I may say something, Dr. Corrigan…”
My father took a sip of his drink. “Of course.”
“I know you left home when Molly was sixteen, and most of us are who we are as people by that age. You were there for her formative years. That fact shouldn’t be discounted. Sure, you made some mistakes, but your daughter is an amazing, well-adjusted person with a good head on her shoulders and a great career. She’s happy, loves the simple pleasures in life—loves food especially.” He looked at me, and I rolled my eyes. “She’s going to be just fine. And I, for one, am happy to call her my friend.”
Whether Declan’s words were the truth didn’t matter. He knew exactly what my father needed to hear. And I wanted to kiss him right now. Jesus, where did that come from?
“You should go into advertising,” my father joked, knowing full well from our dinner conversation that Declan’s career was in advertising. “But thank you. I’m happy my daughter has someone like you looking after her.”
After a minute, Declan went to use the bathroom.
My father took me into the living room and said, “He’s gay, right?”
I nearly spit out my wine. “What? No! What makes you say that?”
“You’re kidding. He’s not?”
“No. He’s totally hetero.”
“You mean to tell me he talks about you like that and looks at you that way, yet there’s nothing going on and he’s heterosexual?”
I swallowed. “Yes.”
“Well, he sure had me fooled.”
I took a long sip. “He’s infatuated with another woman.”
Dad took a moment to ponder that. “I don’t even know that person, but there’s no way she holds a candle to you. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before he sees that.”
“Well, he’s leaving in a matter of months, so...”
My father’s eyes narrowed. “I didn’t realize that.”
“Yeah. He’ll be heading back to California, where he’s from. He’s only here on a temporary, six-month assignment for work.”
Wow. Somehow thinking about Declan leaving had a much greater effect on me than it had when he’d first moved in. That was really going to suck when the time came.
We stayed for about a half hour more before I went to the kitchen to thank Kayla for dinner and hugged my dad goodbye. All in all, the visit went better than I ever could have anticipated. I made plans with Dad to visit again next week on my own. This would hopefully be the beginning of a fresh start to our relationship.
Once Declan and I got back in the car, I turned to him. “I have a funny story for you.”
“Whatcha got?”
“That whole time, my dad thought you were gay.”
He’d just been about to start the ignition but paused. “Say what?”
“Yes.”
A perplexed look crossed his face. “Do I seem gay to you? You’d tell me, right? Do I give off vibes?”
“No.” I laughed. “He thought you were gay because he couldn’t understand how you and I get along so well, how you could say all those nice things about me, how we could be living together, but not be together. So, he just assumed.”
“Well, damn,” Declan said as he started the car. “No wonder he was so nice to me. He didn’t see me as a threat. Did you tell him I’m not gay?”
“Of course. I told him you were infatuated with someone else.”
He scrunched his face as if I’d somehow offended him. “Infatuated? I don’t think that’s the right word exactly. I mean, I really like Julia. A lot. But infatuation is a bit much. That makes it sound creepy.”
“When I first met you, you told me you were in love with her. You’re not even with her, and she has a boyfriend. If that’s not infatuation, I don’t know what is.”
“I might’ve exaggerated a little. I was also trying to weasel my way into your apartment and would’ve said anything to peg myself as someone who wouldn’t be interested in sex with you. I should have just told you I was gay.”
I winked. “Apparently my father would have believed it.”
CHAPTER 8
* * *
Declan
The following night, Julia and I were working together in my living room. Once again we’d taken position together on the floor, using the coffee table as a makeshift desk. Wasn’t sure if it was my imagination, but she seemed to be sitting closer to me than usual.
The plan was for Molly to come out at some point and flirt with me. It wasn’t going to be anyt
hing too crazy, just something to ruffle Julia’s feathers.
But the plan hadn’t been going according to schedule because Molly was taking her sweet-ass time. I didn’t know what the fuck she was doing in her room—masturbating to her Hulu show or what—but she hadn’t made an appearance yet.
I looked up from typing on my laptop to notice Julia looking at me. Caught in the act, she turned away. Perfect. Now if only Molly could get her act together so we could stir the pot.
“You said your roommate is home, right?”
“Yeah. You wouldn’t know it though, would ya? She’s pretty quiet.”
“True. I don’t hear a peep. You think she’s not happy that I’m here? Are we disturbing her?”
“No. I don’t think so. I think she might have fallen asleep.”
That was the only explanation that made sense.
I pretended to need something from the fridge, and instead texted Molly on the down-low.
Declan: Are you coming out sometime tonight?
The three dots moved around as she typed.
Molly: I’m having some technical difficulties.
Declan: What are you talking about?
Molly: I was trying out these new lashes, and I got glue stuck in my left eye. I can hardly open it.
Declan: What made you decide to do that tonight?
Molly: I wanted to sex it up…for our performance.
Declan: So you glued your eye shut? The one-eyed look is so damn sexy, Mollz. Truly.
Molly: Shut up. This is all your fault.
The funniest visual of Molly walking out of her room with a patch covering one eye popped into my head. But that quickly morphed into her wearing a wench’s costume—with one of those cinched-waist things that laced up and covered her rib cage. It would stop just below the swell of her breasts, making her tits practically spill over from her top.
I’d been staring at my phone, lost in some ridiculous fantasy, and hadn’t heard Julia walk into the kitchen.
“Who are you texting over there?” she asked. “You have the dirtiest smirk on your face.”
Shit. “I, uh, my sister.” I closed my eyes, silently cursing myself and my dumbass answer. Great, now she probably thinks I’m freaking creepy. “She was, uh…” I attempted to iron out the wrinkles. “She’s trying to fix me up with one of her friends.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, with four sisters, it’s a pretty common occurrence.”
“Are you…going to go out with the woman?”
I shook my head. “I learned my lesson a long time ago. Keep your love life as far away from your sisters as possible. The last time I let one of them set me up, I wound up on a date with a woman who loved cats.”
“So? Are you allergic or something?”
“No. But she picked me up in her car, and when I got in, I realized just how much she loved her cats. Six of them were in the backseat.”
“She brought her cats on your date?”
I nodded. “Said they got lonely at home, liked to go for car rides, and were a good judge of character.”
“That’s a little bizarre. Did the cats approve of your character, at least?”
“One leaped into the front seat while we were on our way to the restaurant and threw up all over my pants.”
Julia laughed. “Oh my God. You mean they weren’t even in carrying cages? What did you do?”
“She drove me back home so I could get changed, and I feigned a headache. But that’s not even the worst part.”
“It’s not?”
I shook my head. “My sister didn’t talk to me for a month because her friend told her I wasn’t nice to her cats. She was convinced I’d made them nervous, and that’s why one threw up on me.”
My phone buzzed in my hand. Julia looked down at it. “I’ll let you finish letting your sister down easy. I was just coming to ask if you had any wine.”
“I think Molly does. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if we had some. I’ll pour you a glass and be right in.”
After Julia went back to the living room, I texted Molly again.
Declan: Are you okay? Do you need me to get you an eyewash or something?
Molly: No, I’ll be fine. I just need a few minutes for the stinging to subside so I can try to glue these on again.
Declan: Forget the eyelashes. You don’t need ’em. Your eyes are pretty without any makeup at all.
Molly: That’s sweet. But I don’t have a choice at this point. I have one on, and I can’t get the damn thing off! I’ll be out soon.
I chuckled as I typed.
Declan: Aye, aye, Captain.
I didn’t think she’d get my humor, but she texted back right away.
Molly: Ha ha. I’ll be out to see ye wench shortly.
Ten minutes later, Molly finally emerged from her room. I’d decided to join Julia in a glass of wine and was mid-sip when I caught sight of my roomie. Unfortunately, I hadn’t been prepared for what she was going to look like. I swallowed down the wrong pipe and started coughing, and I inadvertently sprayed wine all over Julia.
“Shit. I’m sorry.” I grabbed the napkin from under my glass and started to blot the mess I’d made on her face.
Smooth, Declan…really smooth tonight.
Molly walked over to where Julia and I were seated on the floor next to the coffee table. She looked smoking hot in a short, black mini dress and sky-high silver strappy heels that wrapped around her ankles. Her hair was blown out into a mass of soft waves, and she had on way more makeup than she usually wore, including super long, thick, dark eyelashes. Damn, those things were worth a little glue in the eye. They really made the light blue color of her eyes pop.
“Hey, Moll.” I cleared my throat and tried to come off nonchalant, as if she walked around the apartment looking like that every day. I held up my wine glass. “I hope you don’t mind, we had some of your wine. I’ll replace the bottle for you tomorrow.”
Molly batted her lashes and smiled. Her lips were painted bright red and covered in a thick layer of gloss. I didn’t know where to look first—at her seductive eyes, full, shiny lips, or the mile of legs on display.
“No problem,” she said. “I don’t mind at all. Plus, I’m off tomorrow night, so maybe we can share the replacement bottle.” She held my eyes for a few extra seconds and then pretended to have just noticed Julia.
“Oh, hi…Jessica.”
Julia pursed her lips. “It’s Julia.”
Molly twirled her hair. “Sorry. Right. Julia…” She turned her attention back to me. “Are you almost done working, Dec?”
“Almost,” I said. “Why? Are we disturbing you?”
“No, not at all.” She lifted her hand and rubbed the back of her neck. “But that knot is back, and I was hoping you could work your magic fingers into it again—like you did the other night.”
“Uh, yeah. Sure…no problem.”
Molly looked over at Julia and practically cooed, “He’s got the strongest hands.”
Julia smiled, but I knew from watching her with difficult clients that it wasn’t her real smile. This one was more plastic and forced. The muscle in her jaw tightened. I watched as her eyes swept up and down Molly’s body for the second time. In all honesty, I couldn’t blame her… Mollz looked fucking amazing.
“Were you on a date tonight?” Julia asked. “You’re so dressed up.”
Molly laughed and waved off Julia’s comment. “No, I just threw this on because it was the only thing clean.”
Julia frowned. “Uh-huh.”
“Alright, well, I’ll let you two get back to work. I’m just going to get a glass of wine myself so I can relax a little before you help me with that massage. Let yourself into my bedroom whenever you’re done, Dec.” Molly blinked, and one of her eyes got stuck closed.
I almost lost it when she turned her head to try to hide it and had to use her fingers to pry it open. I guess she hadn’t figured out the glue situation after all.
Once Molly returned
to her room, Julia downed the rest of her wine in one gulp. Her cheeks were a little flushed. “Could she be any more obvious?”
I pretended to have no clue what she meant, but a person would have to be blind and deaf to have missed Molly’s over-the-top flirting. “What do you mean?”
Julia snort laughed. “That dress, the full face of makeup—not to mention that she was winking at you when talking about her massage. She doesn’t even have a sore neck, Declan.”
Winking? Not exactly. But close! She thought Molly’s glued eyeball was a come-on.
I cleared my throat. “What do you mean, she doesn’t have a sore neck?”
Julia rolled her eyes. “She’s into you and wants your hands on her.”
“Oh, well… Is that a bad thing? I mean, we’re both single…”
“It would definitely be a mistake, Declan.”
My brows furrowed. For some inexplicable reason, I felt defensive. “Why is that? Molly’s really cool.”
“Well, for starters, she’s your roommate.”
“That seems like it would go on the plus side of the pros-and-cons analysis.” I shrugged. “Convenience.”
Julia’s face reddened. “Look, I just don’t think it’s a good idea for you to get into something you might not be able to come back from. I know from personal experience that once you go down that road, it’s difficult to go back to simpler times. Take Bryant and me, for example. We went into an exclusive relationship right away. At the time, I didn’t give any thought to the idea that it might not be a good idea since I travel so much for work. Recently, we’ve been having some difficulties, so I suggested we pull things back a little—keep our relationship more on the casual side.”
“I take it that conversation didn’t go too well, since you’re using your own situation to warn me off anything happening between me and my roommate.”
She shook her head. “No, it didn’t. Bryant doesn’t like the idea of a non-exclusive relationship because it’s hard to go backward once you’ve moved forward. That’s why I think you might want to give some serious thought to anything happening with your roommate. Once you go there, it would probably be hard to rewind.”
Not Pretending Anymore Page 7
